Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Tom Danehy: Why was an overly simplistic political statement allowed to disrupt the UA campus? (Tucson Weekly)
With technology being what it is today, we should be able to cut the cumbersome legal-immigration procedure down from several years to just a few months. We could become a beacon for the world, both in terms of humanitarianism and responsibility.
Paul Krugman: The Exceptional Mr. Greenspan (New York Times)
Alan Greenspan continues his efforts to cement his reputation as the worst ex-Fed chairman in history...
Matt Miller: The life lessons Mr. Trautwein taught me (The Washington Post)
This is a story about the power of a teacher, the power of love, the power of memory, and the power of Facebook.
Connie Schultz: Ferraro Was Brave When No One Was Watching, Too (Creators Syndicate)
When we measure the impact of a hero, it helps to consider the difference between worship and admiration.
Susan Estrich: A Woman of Valor (Creators Syndicate)
"We have only just begun," Geraldine Ferraro wrote in inscribing a photograph to me after the 1984 campaign. I keep it above my desk, to remind myself that Rome wasn't built in a day, that it takes courage and perseverance when you're trying to change the world.
Jim Hightower: JAPAN'S EARTHQUAKE JOLTS SHREVEPORT
A GM truck plant in this city has had to shut down because one truck-part, made at a factory in the devastated area of Japan, is not presently available. One! Amazing. Cars and trucks have about 20,000 parts, but the inability to get even a single one delivered from abroad can bring an entire assembly line to a halt!
MARK BITTMAN: Why We're Fasting (New York Times)
Looking at Congressional budget proposals that would make huge cuts in programs for the poor makes you realize there are bigger things in life than dinner.
Paul Constant: "Trouble in Paradise: The Accidental Historian Explains How America Ate Hawaii" (The Stranger)
But Vowell is still more fun than a 747 full of David McCulloughs. And the truth is that paradise is often monotonous; her sometimes languid pace and delighted autobiographical additions are probably a fair simulation of the experience of an uptight New Englander spending some time in Hawaii. You decide whether you want to go on that trip.
Rob Long: Mickey or Bugs? (Commentary Magazine)
For decades, comedy writers have puzzled over a mystery: Why is Mickey Mouse more famous than Bugs Bunny? Mickey isn't funny or interesting. He cannot produce an anvil or a Carmen Miranda hat out of the air. All in all, his "good mouse" act is a toothless, nice-guy bore.
"Reading Jackie: Her Autobiography in Books" by William M. Kuhn: A review by Jeanne-Marie Jackson
I really don't remember when I first jumped on board the gilded train to Camelot.
Three by Royko
Three essays from "One More Time: The Best of Mike Royko."
Read 'em and keep: what are the books to pass on to the next generation? (Guardian)
If you had only one book to pass on to the next generation, what would it be? Writers and readers name the classics they most treasure.
David Bruce has 41 Kindle books on Amazon.com with 250 anecdotes in each book. Each book is $1, so for $41 you can buy 10,250 anecdotes. Search for "Funniest People," "Coolest People, "Most Interesting People," "Kindest People," "Religious Anecdotes," and "Maximum Cool."
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Reader Suggestions
Michelle in AZ
From The Creator of 'Avery Ant'
Humor Gazette
Godzilla
U.N. Resolution authorizes Godzilla warfare in Libya
This just in!
The taciturn annihilator is back -
here to soothe a world gone haywire with his fiery, ancient wisdom.
MAM's April Fool's Day Reminder
Mark Twain
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Way too toasty.
John Mellencamp & Stephen King
"Ghost Brothers of Darkland County"
A new musical dreamed up by rocker John Mellencamp and horror writer Stephen King will make its world debut in Atlanta next year.
The Alliance Theater has announced that it will produce "Ghost Brothers of Darkland County," what it calls "a riveting Southern gothic musical."
King's story is based on the real 1957 deaths of two brothers and a young girl. Mellencamp is in charge of the "roots and blues-tinged score."
The Alliance's artistic director Susan V. Booth will direct and legendary producer T. Bone Burnett will provide musical direction.
It is scheduled to run from April 4 to May 13, 2012.
"Ghost Brothers of Darkland County"
Raises $1.4 Million
Green Auction
A green auction at Christie's to benefit the environment raised $1.4 million, with bidders paying $100,000 for a trip to the hottest Oscars parties or a day with former President Bill Clinton.
Proceeds from the second Green Auction: Bid to Save the Earth were earmarked for Conservation International, Oceana, Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) and The Central Park Conservancy.
The Bid to Save the Earth initiative plans to raise more funds in an online auction on charitybuzz.com that ends on April 7, and from sales of the Runway to Green pro-environment fashion world initiative fashion show.
Items for sale in the silent auction include luxury travel packages, Fendi bags customized by world artists such as Richard Prince and Damien Hirst, a trip to Tokyo to meet pop singer Justin Bieber, a tennis lesson with John McEnroe or an hour-long style consultation with Vogue's Andre Leon Talley and designer Diane Von Furstenberg.
Green Auction
NJ Paper Gets LTTE From The Boss
Bruce Springsteen
Bruce Springsteen has written a Letter to the Editor to what he calls his hometown newspaper.
Springsteen on Thursday thanked the Asbury Park Press for a March 27 article about how anti-poverty groups in New Jersey are facing an uphill battle as Gov. Chris Christie seeks to cut spending and property taxes.
Springsteen writes that the "article shows that the cuts are eating away at the lower edges of the middle class, not just those already classified as in poverty."
Springsteen says it will "likely to continue to get worse over the next few years."
The letter is signed: Bruce Springsteen, Colts Neck.
Bruce Springsteen
Hosting New NBC Reality Show
Betty White
The unstoppable Betty White is taking on reality TV with a hidden-camera show that turns senior citizens into merry pranksters. NBC has ordered 12 episodes of "Betty White's Off Their Rockers," the working title for a series based on a hit Belgian program that has been produced in other European countries and South Korea.
"People have been telling me that I'm `off my rocker' for years - now I can prove it," White joked in a statement Thursday.
The reality show follows seven seniors who band together to play pranks on younger people, with White helping conspire to put one over on "the unsuspecting youth of America," said NBC and Universal Media Studios executive Paul Telegdy.
The reality show's format has been licensed for the United States by Kinetic Content, which will produce the series for NBC in consultation with the original Belgian producer, Tim van Aelst.
Betty White
Singing 'Thank You' To Firefighters
Cee Lo
Cee Lo Green isn't forgetting volunteer firefighters.
The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter will record "Thank You," another rewrite of his hit song known in its PG-rated version as "Forget You." Procter & Gamble Co.'s Duracell brand is counting on Cee Lo's help to power up a campaign to donate batteries to volunteer fire departments.
P&G hopes to give 20 million batteries, worth $8 million retail.
Cee Lo has a personal interest. His family credits volunteer firefighters with pulling his mother from a serious car wreck.
Cee Lo
Wedding News
Lopilato - Bublé
Canadian pop star Michael Bublé married Argentine TV actress Luisana Lopilato in a civil ceremony on Thursday.
The Grammy-winning singer of "Crazy Love" and his Argentine sweetheart posed for a mob of fans after tying the knot at a civil registry in downtown Buenos Aires.
She wore a lilac chiffon dress with silver high heels and Bublé wore a sharp gray suit as he leaned down for a smooch.
Then Lopilato, 23, tossed a bouquet of purple orchids into the crowd as some fans threw rice and red rose petals and a young woman shouted "I love you Michael!"
Lopilato - Bublé
Judge Judy
Judge Judy
TV's "Judge Judy" is out of a Los Angeles hospital after an overnight stay and says "all is well" with her.
In a statement Thursday, 68-year-old Judy Sheindlin said she was on her way home and expressed appreciation for the "loving messages" she had received.
Sheindlin was taken by ambulance from her show taping Wednesday to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for an undisclosed condition.
She planned to return to work on "Judge Judy" as scheduled on April 12.
Judge Judy
Given In Private
Openness Award
President Barack Obama accepted an award for making the government more open and transparent - presented to him behind closed doors with no media coverage or public access allowed.
The discrepancy between the honor and the circumstances under which it was delivered bothered open-government advocates in attendance, they said Thursday. They were even more perturbed when they discovered later that the meeting hadn't even been listed on Obama's public schedule, so there was no way for anyone to know about it.
"To have such a meeting not be transparent is the height of irony. How absurd can that be?" said one participant, Gary Bass, executive director of OMB Watch, which keeps tabs on the White House Office of Management and Budget.
The award was given by Bass's group and several others Monday to recognize Obama's work toward government openness and encourage him to do more.
Openness Award
Dad Gets At Least 10 Years
5 Browns
Declaring him "a danger to society," a judge on Thursday called the father of the renowned piano group The 5 Browns a pedophile and sentenced him to at least 10 years in prison on charges that he sexually abused his three daughters when they were children.
Keith S. Brown, 55, pleaded guilty in February to one felony count of sodomy of a child and two felony counts of sexual abuse of a child.
Fourth District Judge David Mortensen sentenced Brown to 10 years to life on the first count, and 15 years to life for each of the others. The sentences will run concurrently, but Brown will have to serve at least 10 years under the plea agreement.
Brown had been free pending the sentencing but was led away by a bailiff after Thursday's hearing to be taken to the Utah State Prison.
The Brown sisters remain estranged from their father. They reported the abuse to Lone Peak police last year after learning that their father planned to begin working with other young musicians.
5 Browns
US Back To Denying Same Sex Couples
Visas
After a brief reprieve, immigration authorities are once again denying applications for immigration benefits for same sex couples following a legal review.
Chris Bentley, a spokesman for the U.S. Citizenship and Services agency, said Wednesday that a review by lawyers from the Department of Homeland Security, it was concluded that a law prohibiting the government from recognizing same sex marriages must be followed, despite the Obama administration's decision to stop defending the constitutionality of the law in court.
Earlier this week, USCIS announced that applications from foreigners married to a U.S. citizen of the same sex would be held in "abeyance" while the legal review proceeded. Bentley said Tuesday that the temporary hold on application decisions was not a change in policy.
In February, Attorney General Eric Holder announcement that the government would no longer defend the law, which gay rights activists have said is discriminatory.
Visas
Pirate Pleads Guilty
"Wolverine"
A New York man who uploaded an unfinished copy of the 2009 blockbuster "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" has pleaded guilty to felony copyright infringement.
Gilberto Sanchez, a glass installer and musician, uploaded a work print of Fox's hit superhero movie a month before its May 2009 release. Sanchez pleaded guilty at a hearing in federal court. He will be sentenced on September 19 and faces up to three years in jail and a $250,000 fine (or twice the gross gain or loss attributable to the offense).
Sanchez, 48, was indicted in December 2009 on one count of illegally uploading an unfinished work print of Wolverine to the file-sharing website Megaupload.com. Under the screen name "SkillyGilly," Sanchez posted the movie and promoted it on several movie forums. Fox and the FBI tracked down the copy and ultimately determined it was a work-print tape that had been brought to an unidentified post-production house in March of 2009.
Confronted, Sanchez admitted he uploaded the film and that he knew it was illegal. He told the New York Times that he bought a DVD of the film for $5 from a street vendor in the Bronx. The name of the post-production house that served as the source of the leak has never been revealed. "Wolverine" grossed $373 million worldwide for Fox.
"Wolverine"
Firm Says Perfume Dealings Stink
Britney Spears
Britney Spears is being sued for more than $10 million by a licensing firm that helped the pop singer launch a fragrance line marketed by Elizabeth Arden Inc.
Brand Sense Partners filed its breach of contract lawsuit in Los Angeles Superior Court on Wednesday, also naming her father, Jamie Spears, who is the conservator of her estate.
According to the complaint, Brand Sense brokered Spears' deal with Elizabeth Arden in 2004, and stood to receive a 35 percent commission on any resulting Spears-branded fragrances.
But Spears last year asked Elizabeth Arden to send all royalties to her, the suit alleged. After the firm confronted Spears, her father said the 35 percent commission was too high and that his daughter did not want to pay it.
Moreover, the suit claims Spears then "secretly made a separate deal with Elizabeth Arden in a sneaky, under-handed effort to circumvent and evade its obligations to Brand Sense."
Britney Spears
NBA Probing Visit To Kentucky Locker Room
Jay-Z
An NBA spokesman confirms that the league is investigating Jay-Z's presence in Kentucky's locker room after the Wildcats clinched a Final Four berth.
The rapper visited the players after their victory over North Carolina on Sunday at the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J, home of the Nets. Jay-Z is a part-owner of the team and attended the Nets' 120-116 loss at New York on Wednesday.
NBA rules prohibit team personnel from having contact with players who are not yet draft eligible, and spokesman Tim Frank told the Associated Press the league is looking into it.
Jay-Z
Creator Sues CBS Studios Over Profits
"Charmed"
The creator of the supernatural drama "Charmed" has sued CBS Studios claiming she was cheated out of millions of dollars from the long-running show due to faulty accounting.
Constance M. Burge claims in a lawsuit filed Wednesday in Los Angeles Superior Court that her contract for the show granted her fixed compensation and 7.5% of the "Adjusted Gross Receipts."
But Burge claims that CBS Studios, which stepped into the shoes of producer Spelling Television, has shortchanged her and failed to allow a complete audit of the series. Even without being granted full access to the books and records, Burge claims her auditors "uncovered substantial underreporting of income due to" her, according to the suit.
Charmed, which starred Holly Marie Combs, Rose McGowan, Shannen Doherty and Alyssa Milano, aired on the WB from 1998 to 2006. CBS Studios declined to comment.
"Charmed"
Hacker Erased A Season's Worth
"Zodiac Island"
The producer of the syndicated children's TV series "Zodiac Island" claims that an entire season of the show has been wiped out thanks to a fired employee at its data-hosting company who hacked into networked computers and destroyed its work.
"Zodiac Island" has run on more than 100 U.S. TV stations around the country, including ABC, NBC, Fox, and CBS affiliates. The show is produced by Hawaii-based WER1 World Network, which signed up with Wisconsin-based ISP and data-hosting company, CyberLynk.
According to a lawsuit that was filed last week in Hawaii District Court, a man named Michael Scott Jewson was terminated from CyberLynk. From his parents' residence, he allegedly accessed CyberLynk's data and intentionally wiped it out. Jewson is alleged to have been charged in February with a federal computer crime violation and admitted his guilt in a plea agreement.
The data breach allegedly knocked out 6,480 WER1 electronic files, or 300 gigabytes of data, comprising two years of work from hundreds of contributors globally, including animation artwork and live action video production.
"Zodiac Island"
Tour Could Be A Bust For Scalpers
Charlie Sheen
"Winning" or "Not Winning"? That's the latest question surrounding Charlie Sheen's "My Violent Torpedo of Truth" 22-date North American tour, which begins April 2 at the Fox Theater in Detroit.
Over the past several weeks, numerous media outlets have reported that a handful of dates on Sheen's forthcoming trek sold out within minutes. But it turns out that some of those reported sellouts -- including the opening date at the approximately 5,000-capacity Fox Theater -- still have tickets available on Ticketmaster.
CNBC reported on its Web site that so-called "secondary ticketing" companies like StubHub, NoFeesTickets.com and Bargainseatsonline.com snatched up "a lot" of tickets to many of Sheen's forthcoming shows and are now selling them for less than face value, which could suggest that fan demand for the tour is being overestimated by the media reports. (It should be noted that some secondary tickets are on sale across multiple reselling sites, which makes it appear that there are more tickets in the market than there actually are.)
As of Thursday afternoon, StubHub appeared to have about 300 tickets available for the Detroit show alone. But this isn't all that shocking. In today's ticket-buying market, it's typical for secondary sellers to buy tickets in bulk for what they think will be hot-selling shows, whether it's Lady Gaga or U2. In the case of Sheen's tour, however, it seems that resellers may have misjudged the demand.
Charlie Sheen
Gets New Makeover At Nixon Library
Watergate
History is being restored at the Richard Nixon Library, where the Watergate exhibit once told visitors nearly four decades after the scandal led to his resignation that it was really a "coup" by his rivals.
For years the library exhibit that retraces the former president's notorious saga was a target of ridicule, panned for omissions and editing that academics and critics said shaped a legacy favorable to the tainted 37th president.
On Thursday, archivists will present a revamped and expanded version of the exhibit at the Yorba, Calif., library, a $500,000 makeover they say is faithful to fact, balanced and devoid of political judgment.
Some material has never before been on public display, and it includes interviews with, among others, Watergate burglar G. Gordon Liddy and Nixon special counsel Charles Colson, who went to prison for seven months in 1975 for crimes related to the Watergate.
The exhibit opening marks a milestone for the library, whose tangled history is marked by uneasy relations between Nixon loyalists and the National Archives, which took over the site in 2007 and oversees the presidential library system.
Watergate
Shipwreck Found
Lake Michigan
An organization that documents shipwrecks said it has found the wreck of a 60-foot, single-masted sloop in Lake Michigan that may date back to the 1830s while looking for remnants of a plane that crashed into the lake more than 60 years ago.
The wreck was found off southwestern Michigan in water about 250 feet deep between Saugatuck and South Haven, Michigan Shipwreck Research Associates announced this week. The discovery was made while working with author Clive Cussler and his sonar operator Ralph Wilbanks of the National Underwater & Marine Agency.
The group was searching for the remnants of Northwest Airlines Flight 2501, which crashed into the lake in 1950, killing 58 people.
The vessel sits upright and is in relatively good condition, Holland-based Michigan Shipwreck Research Associates said. The sloop's construction and design are consistent with ships built in the 1820s and 1830s. Video of the wreck is expected to be shown April 16 at a social event in Holland.
Lake Michigan
Wiltshire, England
King James Bible
A printing error helped a 12th century English village church realize it owned a rare 400-year-old King James Bible, the book that changed the world.
The edition that had been sitting on a ledge in the pretty Anglican church in Wiltshire, central England for the past 150 years, barely touched and much less read, is one of only a handful that still exists.
Although a sign above the book indicated it dated back to 1611, it was only after the parochial church council (PCC) of St Laurence in Hilmarton decided to get it authenticated during the 400th anniversary of the King James Bible that they made their discovery.
The St Laurence Bible, whose heavy handset Gothic script was printed on linen fabric, lacks any gold leaf or ornate illustrations, and was authenticated as a second edition because of a tell-tale misprint.
King James Bible
Cable Nielsens
Ratings
Rankings for the top 15 programs on cable networks as compiled by the Nielsen Co. for the week of March 21-27. Day and start time (EDT) are in parentheses:
1. "Jersey Shore" (Thursday, 10 p.m.), MTV, 5.52 million homes, 7.6 million viewers.
2. "Pawn Stars" (Monday, 10 p.m.), History, 4.44 million homes, 6.44 million viewers.
3. "Pawn Stars" (Monday, 10:30 p.m.), History, 4.43 million homes, 6.26 million viewers.
4. "American Pickers" (Monday, 9 p.m.), History, 3.9 million homes, 5.6 million viewers.
5. NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament: Florida vs Brigham Young (Thursday, 7:16 p.m.), TBS, 3.79 million homes, 5.26 million viewers.
6. "Army Wives" (Sunday, 9 p.m.), Lifetime, 3.57 million homes, 4.79 million viewers.
7. "NCAA Basketball Post Game" (Friday, 12:30 a.m.), TBS, 3.54 million homes, 4.98 million viewers.
8. Movie: "The Suite Life Movie" (Friday, 8 p.m.), Disney, 3.45 million homes, 5.22 million viewers.
9. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 10 p.m.), USA, 3.42 million homes, 5.26 million viewers.
10. "Teen Mom II" (Tuesday, 10 p.m.), MTV, 3.29 million homes, 4.39 million viewers.
11. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 9 p.m.), USA, 3.28 million homes, 4.97 million viewers.
12. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 10 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.27 million homes, 4.54 million viewers.
13. "Fairly Legal" (Thursday, 10 p.m.), USA, 3.14 million homes, 4.07 million viewers.
14. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 9:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.04 million homes, 4.03 million viewers.
15. NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament: Butler vs Wisconsin (Thursday, 9:44 p.m.), TBS, 3.01 million homes, 4.21 million viewers.
Ratings
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