I wasn't digging for a story, just the cheapest toilet paper, but I
stumbled across a story nonetheless. Today, yes, toilet paper is actually more
interesting than the election.
When you see a product that says something like "25% less fat," the first
thought that crosses your mind is usually "than what?" Bacon? Always good to
know your fruit cocktail has 25% less fat than slices out of a pig's belly.
Of course they're all trying to fool you into buying their product but my
critical eye had never fallen across the toilet paper aisle till I noticed
something strange. The "double" rolls of toilet paper not only didn't have
twice the amount of toilet paper in a regular roll, but in some cases
actually contained LESS toilet paper than the regular rolls. Are they allowed to
change the definition of the word "double" like this?
Charging more for pretending it's more while it's actually less is a time
honored technique in the food biz. Just try to buy a "gallon" of ice cream.
Anything "whipped" looks bigger but it's just air.
It turns out you can roll toilet paper tightly or loosely, just like lots
of things. Roll it tightly and the roll feels hard. Roll it loosely
and the roll feels softer, hypnotizing you into believing the paper itself must
be softer. This was Charmin's idea - to wrap their toilet paper loosely so the
roll itself felt softer - while Mr. Whipple told the world "Please don't
squeeze the Charmin." Everyone went ahead and squeezed it, it felt squishy, and
rather than coming to the conclusion "Hey, there's a lot less toilet paper in
this roll," they came to the conclusion "Gorsh, this paper is s-o-f-t."
Then Charmin realized they could actually put twice as much paper on every
roll and charge more for it. Then Charmin realized they only had to call it
Ultra and SAY there was twice as much paper while actually using the same amount
of paper as the non-Ultra paper and STILL charge more for it. Hint. Squeeze
the fucking Charmin. If it's soft, it ain't twice the amount of a regular
roll.
Gee, I hope they're exporting this technique to the rest of the world.
Meanwhile, if you've got too much time on your hands, check out the product
information the store puts on the shelves, the ones that give the price per
square foot of toilet paper, and tell me people who believe product labels
aren't getting less wipes per mile.
Anders Wright: The Wiggles are Bigger Than Jesus (sdcitybeat.com)
Folks who don't have kids or who haven't yet gone down The Wiggles' road with their offspring often have a hard time understanding the band's appeal. But for those of us with Wiggles-crazed children, the answer is obvious -- this is your child's first rock band.
Rafer Guzmán: Vampire Weekend bites into passport rock (Newsday; Posted on popmatters.com)
For the past few months, one of the hottest bands around has been Vampire Weekend, four smartly dressed lads who met at Columbia University. The group's self-titled album on XL Recordings debuted at an impressive No. 17 on the Billboard charts last month, and MTV recently hung massive images of the band in its windows overlooking Times Square, an honor usually reserved for household names.
Aaron Mesh: David Gordon Green Loves a Good Mistake (wweek.com)
As Green debuts Snow Angels, a small-town tragedy starring Sam Rockwell and Kate Beckinsale, he's preparing for the August release of Pineapple Express, a big-budget stoner comedy produced by Knocked Up's Judd Apatow.
Frank Lovece: "James Earl Jones: from Darth Vader to 'Big Daddy'" (Newsday; Posted on popmatters.com)
When James Earl Jones takes the stage as Big Daddy in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," the Broadhurst Theatre fairly trembles. For all the fussin' and flitterin' of Maggie (Anika Noni Rose), Mae (Lisa Arrindell Anderson), Big Mama (Phylicia Rashad), Gooper (Giancarlo Esposito) and the liquored-up Brick (Terrence Howard), it's the old lion Big Daddy who's large and in charge.
Charlie was first, and correct, with:
Seems mildly improbable, but it's
C: Ethiopian
In addition to the quote from the other day, Sir Peter also said (among
other gems):
"I suppose you can't blame Gorbachev [for the collapse of the Soviet
Union], but it is his fault for making America the only superpower."
Marian the Teacher responded:
Ethiopian
Terry C answered:
Peter Ustinov was of Russian, German, French, Italian and Ethiopian descent.
Sally said:
Peter Ustinov was of Russian, German, French, Italian and Ethiopian descent. According to his bio, he is 1/4 Ethiopian on his mother's side.
PS: Hey Vic, of course I remember the Muppets on SNL! Who could forget the, "Land of Gorch" in particular? And I can vaguely remember the Muppets performing a, "LadySmith Black Mambazo" routine either on SNL or Sesame Street (those years were a blur raising kids for me). My God, Vic, "living in an unheated trailer with no water and worse NO INTERWEBS," send me an address so that I can send you a CARE package! (Poor little guy...)
PPS: Steve M, Loved, loved, loved your video! Fear, fact, and fantasy (plus Jody Foster) can't get much better than that!
DanD replied:
Doncha' know? He was Ethiopian (C), just like Obama ... say what?
Kenya? Oh, well you know, they all look alike to me.
ANYWAY, perhaps America's most famous, bulb-nosed commedian of yore was
really referring to Ustinov, when W.C. Fields made this subversively
particular comment in his 1940s, "My Little Chickadee" film. He
observed, "Hmm. There's an Ethiopian in the fuel supply."
As it is, has anyone noticed that -- ever since Lenny Bruce at least --
double-entendre humor has been almost terminally neglected by many of the
more racially diverse practitioners of corporately made "popular,"
mainstream comedy? It's as if the most severely obscene elements of
slapstick, bathroom humor damn-well-near conquered all! It's sorta' like
somebody crapping on the floors of Homeland Security ... a kind of
knee-slap joke held perpetually dear mostly by people with short
attention spans.
Or perhaps I'm just prejudiced ... .
(P.S., this is just a joke belaboring the real definition of that
originally "Old - South" fence/woodshed/pile saying.)
Alan J was his usual succinct self answering:
Ethiopian
And, Joe S ("It is much easier to show compassion to animals. They are never wicked."
~ Haile Selassie) said:
Peter Ustinov was of Russian, German, French, Italian and Ethiopian descent
Well I'll be dipped, I never would have guessed. I Googled it. This is an open book quiz, isn't it?
A Day Late -
Re: First host of 'SNL' (& 'Fridays'):
Joe S ("I think if you ask any of us here, we all dreamed of ending up on Saturday Night Live. I remember thinking, 'I'll just keep doing this as long as I can get away with it."
~ Tina Fey) answered:
I'm late but that's ok, I don't know the answer anyway. I'm guessing Buck Henry, he's a pretty funny guy and he was pretty big stuff back then.
The kid has 'spring break' this week - think that calls for a field trip to Chinatown.
Tonight, Friday:
CBS fills the night with LIVE'NCAA Basketball - The Sweet 16, Part 2', then pads the left coast with local crap.
On a RERUNDave (from 2/15/08) are Charles Barkley and Bill Burr.
On a RERUNCraig (from 2/20/08) are Tom Selleck, Dario Franchitti, and Ziggy Marley.
NBC starts the night with a FRESH'Amne$ia', followed by 2 hours of 'Dateline'.
Scheduled on a FRESHLeno are John Larroquette, Kid Inventors, and k.d. lang.
On a RERUNConan (from 11/2/07) are Jerry Seinfeld, David Ortiz, and Sondre Lerche.
On a RERUNCarson 'The Scab' Daly (from 3/10/08) are Brooke Burns and Shiny Toy Guns.
ABC kills the night with a RERUN'Grey's Anatomy', followed by 2 hours of the unwatchable '20/20'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Kimmel are Kate Bosworth, Spencer Grammer, and Serj Tankian.
The CW fills the night with a FRESH'WWE Friday Night Steroid SmackDown!'.
Faux has a RERUN'Til Death', followed by a RERUN'Jezebel Jones', then a RERUN'House'.
MY here fills the night with LIVE'MLB Preseason Baseball', with the Red Sox visiting Chavez Ravine.
PLEASE check local PBS listings for a FRESH'Bill Moyers Journal', and a FRESH'NOW With Bill Moyers David Brancaccio'.
AMC offers the movie 'Letters From Iwo Jima', followed by the movie 'In The Line Of Fire', then the movie 'Gothika'.
BBC -
[12:00 PM] Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - Ep 3 Momma Cherri's;
[1:00 PM] Cash in the Attic - Episode 7;
[2:00 PM] Bargain Hunt - Ep. 5 Ardingly 52;
[2:30 PM] Bargain Hunt - Ep. 7 Harrogate 43;
[3:00 PM] How Clean Is Your House? - Episode 6;
[3:30 PM] How Clean Is Your House? - Episode 7;
[4:00 PM] You Are What You Eat - Episode 4;
[4:30 PM] You Are What You Eat - Episode 5;
[5:00 PM] My Family - Ep 1 Fitting Punishment;
[5:30 PM] Coupling - Ep 2 Night Lines;
[6:00 PM] Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - Ep 2 Piccolo Teatro;
[7:00 PM] BBC World News America;
[8:00 PM] Coupling - Ep. 6 Gotcha;
[8:40 PM] Coupling - Ep. 7 Dressed ;
[9:20 PM] That Mitchell and Webb Look - Episode 2;
[10:00 PM] Newsnight;
[11:00 PM] Coupling - Ep. 6 Gotcha;
[11:40 PM] Coupling - Ep. 7 Dressed;
[12:20 AM] That Mitchell and Webb Look - Episode 2;
[1:00 AM] Coupling - Ep. 6 Gotcha;
[1:40 AM] Coupling - Ep. 7 Dressed;
[2:20 AM] That Mitchell and Webb Look - Episode 2;
[3:00 AM] Changing Rooms - Ep. 4 Wales;
[3:30 AM] Changing Rooms - Ep. 5 Devon & New Zealand;
[4:00 AM] Bargain Hunt - Ep. 5 Ardingly 52;
[4:30 AM] Bargain Hunt - Ep. 7 Harrogate 43;
[5:00 AM] Cash in the Attic - Episode 2;
[5:30 AM] Cash in the Attic - Episode 3;
[6:00 AM] BBC World News. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'Real Housewives of NYC', another 'Real Housewives of NYC', then the movie 'Lethal Weapon'.
Comedy Central has 'Scrubs', another 'Scrubs', an old 'Jon Stewart', an old 'Colbert Report', 'Futurama', another 'Futurama', 'Comedy Central Presents', and another 'Comedy Central Presents'.
HBO offers a FRESHReal Time with Bill Maher
scheduled guests include
Robert Klein, author and journalist Robin Wright, talk show host Tavis Smiley, and Real Time correspondent Dan Savage. Plus, via satellite, actor John Cusack
FX has the movie 'Kingdom of Heaven', followed by the movie 'The Transporter 2'.
History has 'Modern Marvels', another 'Modern Marvels', 'Shockwave', and 'Battle 360'.
IFC -
[07:00 AM] American Heart;
[09:00 AM] The Princess and the Warrior;
[11:15 AM] Fanny & Alexander;
[02:30 PM] American Heart;
[04:30 PM] The Princess and the Warrior;
[06:45 PM] Pumpkin;
[08:45 PM] Dancing at the Blue Iguana;
[11:00 PM] Speed Grapher #4;
[11:30 PM] Witchblade #13;
[12:00 AM] Habit;
[02:00 AM] The Whitest Kids U'Know #205;
[02:30 AM] Witchblade #13;
[03:00 AM] Habit;
[05:00 AM] The Princess and the Warrior. (ALL TIMES EST)
SciFi has 'Stargate SG-1', 'Jericho', another 'Jericho', and a FRESH'Battlestar Galactica' infomercial.
Sundance -
[06:00 AM] In Short: Festival 8;
[06:30 AM] A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries;
[09:00 AM] Episode 3;
[09:30 AM] Episode 3: Putting In My Two Cents;
[10:00 AM] Episode 1;
[10:35 AM] Art from the Arctic;
[11:40 AM] Create;
[12:15 PM] Henri Cartier-Bresson: The Impassioned Eye;
[01:30 PM] Episode 1;
[02:00 PM] Safe;
[04:00 PM] Loggerheads;
[06:00 PM] Episode 4: Isabella Rossellini + Dean Kamen;
[06:45 PM] Gettin' Square;
[08:30 PM] Series 7: The Contenders;
[10:00 PM] Cherry Falls;
[11:40 PM] Soar;
[12:00 AM] Stoned;
[02:00 AM] Amos Lee, Randy Crawford & David Gilmour;
[03:00 AM] Episode 2;
[03:30 AM] Episode 3;
[04:00 AM] Episode 5;
[04:30 AM] Episode 2;
[05:00 AM] Tony Takitani. (ALL TIMES EST)
Actress Rosie Perez, who starred in director Spike Lee's 1989 film "Do The Right Thing" poses as she arrives at the 6th annual Behind The Lens Award ceremony honoring Lee in Beverly Hills, California March 26, 2008. The award is for achievement behind the scenes in the entertainment industry.
Photo by Fred Prouser
A federal appeals court has ruled that filmmaker Michael Moore did not defame an Iraq War veteran when Moore used a clip from a TV interview without his permission in "Fahrenheit 9/11."
Army Sgt. Peter Damon, who lost his arms when a tire on a Black Hawk helicopter exploded while he and another reservist were servicing it, claimed he was humiliated and emotionally distressed after Moore included the clip in Moore's 2004 documentary criticizing the Bush administration and the war in Iraq.
But the 1st U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals affirmed a federal judge's decision to dismiss Damon's lawsuit against Moore.
Moore said the unanimous decision was total vindication, and noted the three-judge panel included two judges appointed by resident Bush. Moore said years of failed lawsuits against his films show his movies are accurate.
Actors Stephen Root, left, and Wayne Knight arrive at the opening night of 'Gypsy' on Broadway, Thursday, March 27, 2008, in New York.
Photo by Peter Kramer
Former "Nightline" reporter Dave Marash has quit Al-Jazeera English, saying Thursday his exit was due in part to an anti-American bias at a network that is little seen in this country.
Marash said he felt that attitude more from British administrators than Arabs at the Qatar-based network.
Marash was the highest-profile American TV personality hired when the English language affiliate to Al-Jazeera was started two years ago in an attempt to compete with CNN and the BBC. He said there was a "reflexive adversarial editorial stance" against Americans at Al-Jazeera English.
"Given the global feelings about the Bush administration, it's not surprising," Marash said.
Copies of two of Japan's oldest animated films, thought to have been lost forever, were found in Osaka and have been digitally restored at the National Film Center of Modern Art in Tokyo.
The two films, "Namakura Katana" (The Fine Sword) and "Urashima Taro," will be shown alongside 94 other old and rediscovered movies at a film festival titled "Hakutsu sareta Eiga tachi (Unearthed Films) -- 2008," scheduled to run at the film center in April.
"Namakura Katana," the story of a samurai duped into buying a blunt sword, was drawn by Junichi Kouchi and released in June 1917 by the Kobayashi Shokai production company.
"Urashima Taro," a version of a classic Japanese fairy tale, was illustrated by Seitaro Kitayama, first seen in February 1918 and produced by Nikkatsu.
Penn Jillette lost on "Dancing With the Stars," so his comedy-and-magic partner Teller lost $5,000.
Teller had placed a bet on Jillette to conquer the sixth season of the popular ABC dance competition. The odds against Jillette were 30-1 so Teller stood to win $150,000.
He said his 53-year-old buddy "danced amazingly. He was perfectly in time, his footwork was amazing. I think the judges just have a blind spot for grace in men with size 14 shoes."
Many have tried, but so far nobody has been able to pry the decade-in-the-works Guns N' Roses album "Chinese Democracy" from the hands of lone remaining original member Axl Rose.
Now, Dr Pepper thinks it's up to the challenge. The soft drink company says it will give a free can of Dr Pepper to "everyone in America" (excluding ex-Guns members Slash and Buckethead) if "Chinese Democracy" arrives anytime during the calendar year 2008.
Rose responded on his band's web site that the band was "surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr Pepper." But the offer did not prompt him to rose to the challenge.
"Chinese Democracy" was most recently scheduled for release in March 2007, but promptly vanished from the schedule without a new date being set. Rose said at the time that all the recording had been completed, but there were some "scheduling difficulties."
The Los Angeles Times apologized for using apparently fabricated documents in a story implying that a 1994 assault on Tupac Shakur was carried out by associates of Sean "Diddy" Combs, and that he knew about it ahead of time.
The apologies followed an investigation launched by Editor Russ Stanton after The Smoking Gun Web site reported earlier in the day that the paper was conned by a prisoner who doctored the documents.
The Smoking Gun said the documents seemed phony because they appeared to be written on a typewriter instead of a computer and included blacked-out sections not typically found in such documents, among other problems.
The Web site claimed the documents were fabricated by a prison inmate with a history of exaggerating his place in the rap music world.
Franco Zeffirelli, Italian director and producer of films and opera, appear on stage during the dress rehearsal of the opera 'La Boheme' at the Metropolitan Opera in New York, Thursday March 27 , 2008. At 86 he has created twelve productions for the Met, including 'La Boheme' and two others being performed this season.
Photo by Bebeto Matthews
A New York court on Thursday found Grammy-nominated rapper Remy Ma guilty on assault, weapons possession and attempted coercion charges that could land the musician in jail for up to 25 years.
Ma, whose real name is Remy Smith, was convicted by the New York state Supreme Court over an incident outside a New York nightclub last year when she fired a shot at her friend, accusing her of stealing more than 3,000 dollars.
The rapper's defense attorneys had argued that the shooting was an accident, while prosecutors accused Ma of deliberately shooting Barnes-Joseph.
Ma, 26, was meanwhile cleared of charges including gang assault, witness intimidation and witness tampering. She was detained without bail and is due to be sentenced on April 23.
A Texas woman who said she was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane called Thursday for an apology by federal security agents and a civil rights investigation.
Mandi Hamlin, 37, said she was trying to board a flight from Lubbock to Dallas on Feb. 24 when she was scanned by a Transportation Security Administration agent after passing through a larger metal detector without problems.
She was taken behind a curtain and managed to remove one bar-shaped piercing but had trouble with the second, a ring.
"Still crying, she informed the TSA officer that she could not remove it without the help of pliers, and the officer gave a pair to her," said Hamlin's attorney, Gloria Allred, reading from a letter she sent Thursday to the director of the TSA's Office of Civil Rights and Liberties.
A visitor to the Tokyo International Anime Fair 2008 looks at cartoon figures on display in Tokyo Thursday, March 27, 2008. The world's largest anime fair expects to have more than 100,000 visitors from around the world.
Photo by Katsumi Kasahara
A Florida company hired by the Pentagon to supply ammunition to Afghan soldiers sent the troops Chinese gun cartridges that were more than 40 years old, the U.S. military said in documents obtained by Reuters.
The U.S. Army has suspended the contractor, AEY Inc. of Miami Beach, from all federal contracting work. The U.S. government also has started an investigation into privately held AEY, its president and the ammunition contract.
According to Army documents, AEY and its president, Efraim Diveroli, 22, appear to have knowingly misled the military when they said last year the ammunition supplied was manufactured in Hungary between 1965 and 1975.
The contract suspension came amid an investigation by The New York Times, which found tens of millions of cartridges supplied by AEY under a $300 million federal contract were manufactured in China.
A 300-year-old Antonio Stradivari violin said to be sweet and feminine in its sound is expected to fetch more than $1 million (500,000 pounds) when Christie's puts it up for auction next week.
Known as "The Penny," the violin dates from around 1700 and is named after its previous owner, the pianist and violinist Barbara Penny. It will be the lead item in Christie's spring Fine Musical Instruments auction on April 4.
Penny owned the Stradivarius from 1929 until her death last year. She was the first woman accepted to the strings section of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra.
A Stradivarius violin known as "The Penny," is seen on display at Christie's Auction House in New York March 27, 2008. The 300-year-old Antonio Stradivari violin named after its previous owner, the pianist and violinist Barbara Penny, will be auctioned on April 4.
Photo by Brendan McDermid
They've played to sell-out audiences all over the world -- except in Blackpool.
After being banned for almost half-century from the English seaside resort, the Rolling Stones are free to perform there again, the local council said on Thursday.
The ban was imposed in 1964 after a riot broke out during one of their early gigs at the Empress Ballroom.
"The ban has been officially lifted and I would love to see them play again at Blackpool," council leader Peter Callow said.
The maker of the popular photo-editing software Photoshop on Thursday launched a basic version available for free online.
San Jose, Calif.-based Adobe Systems Inc. says it hopes to boost its name recognition among a new generation of consumers who edit, store and share photos online.
While Photoshop is designed for trained professionals, Adobe says Photoshop Express, which it launched in a "beta" test version, is easier to learn. User comments will be taken into account for future upgrades.
Photoshop Express will be completely Web-based so consumers can use it with any type of computer, operating system and browser. And, once they register, users can get to their accounts from different computers.
Abby Mann, writer of socially conscious scripts for movies and television and winner of the 1961 Academy Award for adapted screenplay for "Judgment at Nuremberg," has died at 80.
Mann also won multiple Emmys, including one in 1973 for "The Marcus-Nelson Murders," which created a maverick New York police detective named Theo Kojak. The film, starring Telly Savalas, was spun off into the long-running TV series "Kojak."
Mann was a struggling TV writer in the 1950s when he became fixated on the postwar Nuremberg trials that brought to justice the top surviving leaders of the Nazi regime. His "Judgment at Nuremberg" had become a successful drama on television, and against all advice, he was determined to convert it into his first movie script.
"A lot of people didn't want it done," he commented in a 1994 interview. "People wanted to sweep the issue under the rug."
"I believe that a writer worth his salt at all has an obligation not only to entertain but to comment on the world in which he lives, not only to comment, but maybe have a shot at reshaping the world," Mann said when he accepted his Oscar.
A six-month-old sea bass swims to the water surface in a tank at the Marine Biological Laboratory, in Wood's Hole, Mass., Tuesday, March 25, 2008. The fish live and grow in the tank at the laboratory until they are large enough to participate in an experiment where their behavior may be influenced by a sound broadcast into the water.
Photo by Steven Senne
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