BartCop Entertainment Archives - Wednesday, 27 October, 2004
Wednesday
27 October, 2004
(Updated Daily)
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Issue #126
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
The Only Daily That Comes Out Weekly
or sometimes bi-weekly.
Issue #126
is brought to you by
Campaign in the Ass
This is where I normally write something. It was going to be my extensive guide to the election, including all California propositions. I'm still working on it, and it will show up in a special election issue later this week, and it will be called Campaign in the Ass because, well, you know how I feel about puns. I say this to everyone who complained there wasn't an issue last week, even though there was a memorial to David Jove and a new gallery of photos of NYC that took just as much time as an issue of Disinfotainment Today, so it's not as though I wasn't doing anything. Geez you guys are tough. And now on to our regularly scheduled program. Freedom and weep...
Fuck Off
November 2nd is National Celibacy Day.
One Good Thing About the Patriot Act
You don't have to pay your income taxes because the Patriot Act specifically forbids any funding of terrorist organizations.
Executive Orders With the Force of Law When Enacted by the President
10995--Federal seizure of all communications media in the United States;
10997--Federal seizure of all electric power, fuels, minerals, public and private;
10998--Federal seizure of all food supplies and resources, public and private and all farms and equipment;
10999--Federal seizure of all means of transportation, including cars, trucks, or vehicles of any kind and total control over all highways, seaports and water ways;
11000--Federal seizure of American people for work forces under federal supervision, including the splitting up of families if the government so desires;
11001--Federal seizure of all health, education and welfare facilities, both public and private;
11002--Empowers the Postmaster General to register all men, women and children in the United States of America;
11003--Federal seizure of all airports and aircraft;
11004--Federal seizure of all housing and finances and authority to establish Forced Relocation. Authority to designate areas to be abandoned as "unsafe," establish new locations for the populations, relocate communities, build new housing with public funds;
11005--Seizure of all railroads, inland waterways and storage facilities, both public and private;
11051--Provides FEMA complete authorization to put above orders into effect in times of increased international tension of economic or financial crisis (FEMA will be in control in case of "National Emergency").
Stupid Answers of the Week
To the question: In a recent Drudge Report item, an anonymous White House official charged that Team America was trivializing the war on Terror. Why does the White House respond to a teaser trailer for a movie starring puppets but not to Fahrenheit 9/11?
A trifecta of stupid answers:
1. Probably for the same reason they recommend Bob Woodward's book, which shows Bush as decisive, yet wrong, not that they've actually read it beyond a Washington Times snap review.
2. Of course the Bush Regime would be interested in any movie with talking puppets; just kind of brings it all back home for them, especially Scott McClellan.
3. They don't like the competition in 'trivializing the war on terror.'
-Best, RSJ
The simple answer is that the resident of the white house is a puppet
himself and the potential slurs were too close to home. Whereas the 9/11
movie can be refuted by the army of media whores who haven't seen it.
- Paul
Bush, being a puppet himself gives more credence to puppets because he has more empathy for the unreal than what he has actually done. This is because of the shifting nature of his excuses, er reasons for what he has done. He's pretending to be President, so it's all a show to him.
- Gene
puppets. they're so lovable and furry and cute. never mind the hand up their ass. they'd never try to disrupt an election in america. or afghanistan. or spain. goddamn puppets fuck you every time.
- dburke11
The White House is used to dealing with Puppets.
- Locke Milholland
Puppets like clowns are insidious and frightening. That's why.
Wait a minute. I'm making excuses for the Bush administration? What the....?
Forget I said anything.
- Marta Martin
Political Videos of the Week
Bust of the Week
The Texas Department of Public Safety Crime Laboratory Service in Amarillo (Amarillo, Texas) recently received a submission of approximately 70,000 chocolate candies (total net mass 154 kilograms), suspected psilocybin mushroom/chocolate concoctions. The exhibits were seized by the Texas State Highway Patrol pursuant to a vehicle stop on I-40, just west of Amarillo (the vehicle was traveling from California to Tennessee). The candies were being stored in the vehicles trunk in trash bags, under what appeared to be a space blanket, and were furthermore being cooled by dry ice.
Stupid Questions of the Week
1) Why is the left, even people like Bill Maher and Michael Moore, treating Afghanistan like it was the GOOD war while Iraq is the BAD war? The same people who lied to us about WMDs to justify the war in Iraq told us about Osama and the Taliban to justify the war in Afghanistan. Couldn't they have been lying about that too?
(FYI, Bush falsely told us that the government of Afghanistan had refused to hand over Osama bin Laden, a deceit echoed by other countries invading the sovereign state, such as Britain and Australia. The Afghan government, in fact, offered to extradite bin Laden to a neutral nation, as it did not trust the George W. Bush regime â€" a suspicion that in due course would come to be quite the norm worldwide. They simply asked for evidence. Bush gave none to Afghanistan OR the American people. No other reason for the invasion of Afghanistan has ever been attempted by the US government, not even the WMDs excuse used for America's invasion of Iraq.)
2) Would you be surprised if Bush killed Kerry with a nuclear hit on the city where Kerry is at the time of the election?
Mr. Paranoia Says...
Photo of a
HAARP Array in Alaska
I don't know why they would have wanted to purposely destroy Florida, but they certainly could have...
"By causing many towers [HAARP, GWEN, etc.] to pulse with the exact ELF frequency of the normal earth pulsation, scientists have learned how to not only create, but also how to maneuver and direct storms. Tesla's discovery can duplicate almost every single phenomena of nature, from cyclones to tornadoes; and now, with Solar Power Satellites used in conjunction with land based towers, weather Control is just that simple."
Headlines of the Week
O'REILLY OUTSOURCES PHONE SEX TO INDIA
Heavy Call Volume Cited
Fox News personality Bill O'Reilly announced today that he has outsourced all of his phone sex activities to India, citing "heavy call volume" as the reason behind the move. Starting this week, all phone sex normally handled by Mr. O'Reilly will instead originate from a calling center in Bangalore, the television host confirmed.
Republicans Urge Minorities To Get Out And Vote On Nov. 3
MIAMI, FL
With the knowledge that the minority vote will be crucial in the upcoming presidential election, Republican Party officials are urging blacks, Hispanics, and other minorities to make their presence felt at the polls on Wednesday, Nov. 3.
Lyrics of the Week
What's So Funny 'bout Peace, Love, and Understanding?
by Nick Lowe
As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity.
I ask myself
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?
And each time I feel like this inside,
There's one thing I wanna know:
What's so funny 'bout peace love understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love understanding?
And as I walked on
Through troubled times
My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the strong
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.
'Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me wanna cry.
What's so funny 'bout peace love understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love understanding?
So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.
'Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me wanna cry.
What's so funny 'bout peace love understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love understanding?
Hideous Pro-Bush Propaganda of the Week
Ashley's Story sticks its fingers down your throat and dares you to vomit.
Don't Take My Word For It
"It would be better for men
To be few and live far apart,
Where none could infect another; then
Slowly the sanity of field and mountain
And the cold ocean and glittering stars might enter their minds."
- Robinson Jeffers -
"It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt."
- John Philpot Curran: Speech upon the Right of Election, 1790 -
"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."
- Epictetus: 50-138 A.D. -
"Evidently, there are two Iraqs. One exists here on our Earth. The other occupies a parallel space-time continuum perceivable only by a select few individuals, one of whom is the president of the United States. If you've got a better theory, I'm open to it. All I know is that in recent weeks, we've seen that nation go from awful to whatever comes after awful. Yet, to hear the president talk, the situation is actually a lot better, more hunky and/or dory than anybody really knows."
"The liar Bush will be re-elected because Americans are unaware of the reality of the world. It seems that the American electorate will accept a person who lies on purpose and they will elect a liar as president."
"I can think of very few more insane events than having parents and children wait in long lines at shopping malls, supermarkets, hospitals and clinics to get a flu vaccination, worrying that the supply might run out before they step up to get the shot. As an expert with two decades worth of experience under my belt, trust me, healthy people don't need a flu shot. In fact, almost no person, old or young, needs one!"
"About half of the roughly $5 billion in Iraq reconstruction funds disbursed by the US government in the first half of this year cannot be accounted for, according to an audit commissioned by the United Nations, which could not find records for numerous rebuilding projects and other payments.
"One chunk of the money -- $1.4 billion -- was deposited into a local bank by Kurdish leaders in northern Iraq but could be tracked no further: The auditors reported that they were shown a deposit slip but could find no additional records to explain how the money was used or to prove that it remains in the bank.
"Auditors also said they could not track more than $1 billion in funds doled out by US authorities for hundreds of large and small reconstruction projects."
"Halliburton, far and away the largest recipient of Iraq reconstruction dollars with about $18 billion (U.S.) in contracts, has seen revenues increase by 80 per cent in the first quarter of 2004 compared with the same quarter of 2003, according to the Financial Times. These revenues reflect 'steep profits from their Iraq operations.'
"Next in line is the Bechtel Group of San Francisco, with nearly $3 billion in Iraq reconstruction contracts. In fact, revenues generated outside the United States have increased for Bechtel by 158 per cent, turning around a three-year slump.
"ChevronTexaco of San Ramon, California has a contract to market Iraqi oil. Its profits have increased 90 per cent during the first half of 2004 compared with the same period in 2003, for a total increase of more than $3 billion.
"And then there's Lockheed Martin, which hasn't even had to risk operating in Iraq to earn its war booty. In 2004, Lockheed's shares have more than tripled in value since their low in early 2000. A Lockheed spokesman told The New York Times that the company's success since 2000 came from the 'changed geopolitical landscape.'"
"Modern war appears as a struggle led by all the State apparatuses and their general staffs against all men old enough to bear arms."
- Simone Weil -
"The Constitution is a document that should be changed only to expand the rights and freedoms granted to Americans, not to restrict them."
"We are fast approaching the stage of the ultimate inversion: the stage where the government is free to do anything it pleases, while the citizens may act only by permission; which is the stage of the darkest periods of human history, the stage of rule by brute force."
- Ayn Rand: The Nature of Government -
"Greetings Martyr-to-Be: Allah be praised for your interest in al Qaeda, the world's preeminent terrorist group! We hope you will soon discover why al Qaeda is known for thinking outside the box. With operatives in 98 countries, al Qaeda is considered the Tiffany of Terrorism."
"Here is a small sample of who has been getting 'reparation' awards from Iraq: Halliburton ($18m), Bechtel ($7m), Mobil ($2.3m), Shell ($1.6m), Nestl ($2.6m), Pepsi ($3.8m), Philip Morris ($1.3m), Sheraton ($11m), Kentucky Fried Chicken ($321,000) and Toys R Us ($189,449). In the vast majority of cases, these corporations did not claim that Saddam's forces damaged their property in Kuwait - only that they 'lost profits' or, in the case of American Express, experienced a 'decline in business' because of the invasion and occupation of Kuwait. One of the biggest winners has been Texaco, which was awarded $505m in 1999. According to a UNCC spokesperson, only 12% of that reparation award has been paid, which means hundreds of millions more will have to come out of the coffers of post-Saddam Iraq.
"The fact that Iraqis have been paying reparations to their occupiers is all the more shocking in the context of how little these countries have actually spent on aid in Iraq. Despite the $18.4bn of US tax dollars allocated for Iraq's reconstruction, the Washington Post estimates that only $29m has been spent on water, sanitation, health, roads, bridges, and public safety combined. And in July (the latest figure available), the Department of Defence estimated that only $4m had been spent compensating Iraqis who had been injured, or who lost family members or property as a direct result of the occupation - a fraction of what the US has collected from Iraq in reparations since its occupation began."
"In short, the neocons are just plain crazy, albeit in a historically unique fashion. This explains a lot. It explains the peculiar stubbornness that refuses to acknowledge error, even as Iraq implodes. It explains our rulers' utter indifference to being caught in so many lies - the disappearing 'weapons of mass destruction,' the illusory 'links' between Saddam and 9/11, the brazen cherry-picking of sexed-up intelligence, and the outright forgeries.
"They aren't lying - they're creating 'new realities.'
"The militant craziness of this sort of mindset also explains the casual cruelty involved in implementing the neoconservatives' vision of empire. It explains Abu Ghraib, not as an aberration but as the new norm. It's okay to bomb cities filled with civilians, to lock up and torture anyone who gets in your way, all the while proclaiming that you come as a 'liberator.' You always hurt the one you love â€" if you're a sadist, that is."
"In the case of the global climate crisis, Bush has publicly demeaned the authors of official reports by scientists in his own administration that underscore the extreme danger confronting the United States and the world and instead prefers a crackpot analysis financed by the largest oil company on the planet, ExxonMobil. He even went so far as to censor elements of an EPA report dealing with global warming and substitute, in the official government report, language from the crackpot ExxonMobil report. The consequences of accepting ExxonMobil's advice - to do nothing to counter global warming - are almost literally unthinkable. Just in the last few weeks, scientists have reached a new, much stronger consensus that global warming is increasing the destructive power of hurricanes by as much as half of one full category on the one-to-five scale typically used by forecasters. So that a hurricane hitting Florida in the future that would have been a category three and a half, will on average become a category four hurricane. Scientists around the world are also alarmed by what appears to be an increase in the rate of CO2 buildup in the atmosphere - a development which, if confirmed in subsequent years, might signal the beginning of an extremely dangerous "runaway greenhouse" effect. Yet a third scientific group has just reported that the melting of ice in Antarctica, where 95 percent of all the earth's ice is located, has dramatically accelerated. Yet Bush continues to rely, for his scientific advice about global warming, on the one company that most stands to benefit by delaying a recognition of reality."
"2) Fort Lauderdale, FL - October 27, 2001: Wynn Errico, owner of Wynn Motor Co. in North Lauderdale, said three FBI agents came to his dealership several days after Sept. 11 to question him. Errico said Atta drove into his used car lot around 2 p.m. on the Friday before the attacks, saying he wanted to sell the Grand Am because he did not need it anymore. Three men in a white minivan accompanied him and waited for about 45 minutes while Errico and Atta went back and forth about a price, Errico said. He said Atta rejected his offer of $800 cash. He said, 'I'd rather run it into a building than sell it for $800,' Errico said."
"Mr. Bush is obviously eager to avoid the subject of prisoner detentions. Maybe that's because his public stance on what happened at Abu Ghraib, and what caused it, is entirely at odds with the facts brought out by official investigations. When he last spoke of the matter, months ago, the president maintained that the abuse was the responsibility of a few low-ranking soldiers working the night shift. He has not acknowledged that scores of soldiers have now been implicated for crimes including homicide, or that a Pentagon-appointed panel has found responsibility at senior levels of the Pentagon, the Justice Department and the White House. Nor has he held anyone in his administration accountable. Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, who made policy decisions about interrogations that led directly to the abuse of prisoners in Afghanistan and Iraq, said he's not aware that any abuses occurred during questionings -- even though an official report by his own department confirmed that very point."
"George W. Bush: Fuck you. You are an insane Jesus Freak, and I'd rather have a million Catholic priests in a million little league locker rooms than you as my president. You believe God literally tells you what to do, and this is how you decide your foreign policy. You confessed to the former Palestinian prime minister that Jesus told you to invade Iraq. You don't know jack shit about anything. You hate the Constitution, you're no better than the Taliban, you spent your life doing coke and drinking until your wife finally threatened to pack her bags, so you chose pussy over coke and booze at the reckless young age of forty. (How noble.) You sodomize dogs before drinking your semen out of their canine assholes and spitting it back into their mouths so they can lick you with your own semen.
"John Kerry: Fuck you. You're the kind of tyrannical ass-fucker who isn't just pro-choice; you looked the American people in the eyes and admitted that you believe money should be taken from pro-life taxpayers to fund millions of abortions. You're a two-faced bastard who will say anything to get elected and advance your faux-Marxist agenda, and hardcore leftists agree with conservatives on this one: Everyone knows you're totally full of shit when it comes to everything."
"We kill at every step, not only in wars, riots, and executions. We kill when we close our eyes to poverty, suffering, and shame. In the same way all disrespect for life, all hard heartedness, all indifference, all contempt is nothing else than killing. With just a little witty skepticism we can kill a good deal of the future in a young person. Life is waiting everywhere, the future is flowering everywhere, but we only see a small part of it and step on much of it with our feet."
- Hermann Hesse -
"I believe Jesus was a pacifist in his first life, but listen to me. God is a killer. Jesus will return as a warrior. Look at the Book of Revelations and you'll find out that Jesus is going to come back as a killer. And don't you forget that. God will kill a third of the population, a third of the earth."
"Author and former Republican presidential candidate John Buchanan urged voters to speak out against President Bush and spread the word against him during a lecture at the Dover Public Library on Tuesday, Oct. 12. When Buchanan asked the audience if they thought Fortune 500 companies ran the government instead of the politicians, nearly everyone raised their hands. 'You don't have to be too bright to know that,' one audience member told Buchanan."
"When George Bush is defeated in November, whole warehouses of 'Presidential Papers' will suddenly disappear. That paper mache Thanksgiving turkey that Dubya was planning to serve to the guys in Iraq again this year? Tossed -- along with that old 'Mission Accomplished' banner. Even the document proving that Laura Bush's chocolate chip cookie recipe was plagiarized from Betty Crocker will be zapped.
"CD-ROMS containing evidence of links between Bush and Al Qaeda? Rumsfeld's prison manual for Abu Ghraib? What really happened in Guantanamo? Cheney's under-the-table pipeline to Halliburton? Which five-star hotel in Houston bin Ladin is hiding in? Who now owns our national forests? The kickback records from Enron? The secret lists of how many GIs were REALLY wounded in Iraq? Who actually forged the Niger yellowcake documents? The true CIA WMD reports? Who really outed Valerie Plame? Who now has their hands on the missing Iraq oil billions? Why there is water in our troops' gasoline? The real air safety report from the Wellstone crash? The home movie of Scalia duck hunting with Cheney right before Bush v. Gore was decided? The Diebold reports?
"Eeeuuuu. What's that? 'How to simulate a flu vaccine shortage.' And 'How can we turn Abu Mussab al-Zarqawi, a man allegedly dead since March 2004, into the next Hallowe'en terrorist bin Ladin?'
"After the 2004 election, there will be a myriad of 'sucker lists' and 'bagmen lists' and 'dirty tricks lists' and 'dirty laundry lists' to wash and sort and destroy. Then there's good old John Ashcroft and his endless lists of personal dossiers -- one for every man, woman and child in America. That's a hecka lot of shredding!
"George and Rummie and Condie and Karl will have a LOT of shredding to do between November and January."
-
Jane Stillwater: Prediction: When Bush loses there will be MAJOR document shredding at the White House -
"Lowly men are never high, even when elevated. High souls are never low, even when downtrodden."
- Tirukkural 98: 972-73 -
"The only people to get even with are those who have helped you."
- Anonymous -
"Think for yourself and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so too."
- Voltaire -
"A man should not act as a judge either for someone he loves or for someone he hates. For no man can see the guilt of someone he loves or the good qualities in someone he hates."
- Babylonian Talmud -
"Bush's so-called pre-emptive war policy is a return to Stone Age barbarism. The world had advanced, with carefully thought out rules and regulations of when a nation is justified in conducting war. Thoughtful peace loving and intelligent men and women had recognized that every nation should follow certain logical rules and regulations pertaining to the conduct of war, understanding that especially in the atomic and nuclear age, some madman might start the war that could end the world."
"Three men went into the jungle on different occasions and saw a chameleon. 'A chameleon is red,' said the first man. 'No a chameleon is green,' said the second man. 'Nonsense, a chameleon is brown,' said the third man. Those who disagree about the nature of God are like these three men."
- Hindu Story -
"I don't know why people are scoffing at Mr. Cheney for stating that he never tied Iraq to 9/11, he'd never met John Edwards or that things are going swimmingly in Iraq. Yes, to those obsessed with facts, such statements would appear to be brazen lies. But it is like I always say to myself when filling out that rudely inquisitive 'age' box on forms: If you repeat a lie, it becomes your truth. And if you repeat a lie often enough, you become a Republican."
- Betty Bowers -
"People who don't have great senses of humor think that comedy is that you just think something's trite and stupid and you don't care about it. [They think] if you're laughing, it's because what you think you're laughing at is stupid - because that's about as far as their sense of humor goes. People don't realize that it can be something a lot deeper than that."
"Instead of worrying about the flu, our government has been busy spending millions stockpiling over a million doses of anthrax vaccine (with no use for it in the foreseeable future), and more than 200,000 doses of smallpox vaccine (without a single case occurring here since 1949). These actions were taken so that the Department of Homeland Security can look like it takes the threat of biological agents seriously. A bioterror attack would likely affect only hundreds, or at the worst thousands, yet the expensive preparations are for millions of potential victims."
"I didn't come to gain students, I came to train teachers."
-
Yogi Bhajan: guru and yoga instructor I studied with in the back of an antique store in West Hollywood the '70s -
"Congressional Democrats are mostly either joined at the liver with the Republicans on drug policy, or too cowardly to speak out. Although it would be a devastating October surprise, Health and Human Services does not seem eager to use its power to reschedule marijuana as a therapeutically useful drug. The judiciary, however, is ripping mad about being throttled by Ashcroft's theological police.
"Thus there's only one practical consideration left for the anti-drug war side. Who will appoint the judiciary, including as many as three Supreme Court justices?
"The Supreme Court can legalize marijuana by fiat. Think of it - no negotiations and tortured lobbying, but genuine experts expounding on the facts, constrained by rules of evidence.
"Pick one: Bush or Kerry. Which candidate is most likely to name judges who will interpret the Constitution of the United States according to facts in evidence rather than DEA propaganda?"
"In their wisdom, the Members of the U.S. Congress proposed and ratified the Twenty-Fifth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which established the procedures for the President to be removed from office if it is determined that 'he is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office.' In the case of the current President, George W. Bush, we have the advantage of a Presidential election, just weeks away. It would be a grave crime of omission to cover over this admittedly sensitive Constitutional issue, and leave the matter in the hands of a Vice President Dick Cheney, were there to be a Bush-Cheney re-election and a subsequent, inevitable mental breakdown crisis."
"President Bush taught three Oregon schoolteachers a new lesson in irony or tragedy Thursday night when his campaign removed them from a Bush speech and threatened them with arrest simply for wearing t-shirts that said 'Protect Our Civil Liberties,' the Democratic Party of Oregon reported."
"Bryan Platt, Chairman of the Jackson County Republican Central Committee, said he stood 100 percent behind the person who made the decision to exclude the women, removing any doubt that one or two individuals exceeded their authority and blew it. No, it was solid, Republican neo-conservative fascist policy on open display, and the Brown Shirts weren't about to apologize for it. No way.
"I am now a man without a political party. I will never again register as a Republican unless the party returns to what it was before the fascists took it over."
"John Kerry, quoted in a New York Times Magazine profile a week ago, said that he hopes to see the threat of terrorism reduced some day to the level of a minor nuisance. The Bush campaign immediately launched a big offensive on the theme that Kerry thinks terrorism is merely a nuisance.
"Huh? Isn't there a difference between hoping that something will happen and thinking that it has happened already? Do you have to be mired in logic to suspect that these two states of mind are pretty much the opposite of each other? The distinction between how you want things to be and how they really are seems to be a particularly tough one for President Bush himself. But to count on voters to share this confusion is pretty courageous."
"Bruce Bartlett, a domestic policy adviser to Ronald Reagan and a treasury official for the first President Bush, told me recently that 'if Bush wins, there will be a civil war in the Republican Party starting on Nov. 3.' The nature of that conflict, as Bartlett sees it? Essentially, the same as the one raging across much of the world: a battle between modernists and fundamentalists, pragmatists and true believers, reason and religion.
"'Just in the past few months,' Bartlett said, 'I think a light has gone off for people who've spent time up close to Bush: that this instinct he's always talking about is this sort of weird, Messianic idea of what he thinks God has told him to do.' Bartlett, a 53-year-old columnist and self-described libertarian Republican who has lately been a champion for traditional Republicans concerned about Bush's governance, went on to say: 'This is why George W. Bush is so clear-eyed about Al Qaeda and the Islamic fundamentalist enemy. He believes you have to kill them all. They can't be persuaded, that they're extremists, driven by a dark vision. He understands them, because he's just like them...
"'This is why he dispenses with people who confront him with inconvenient facts,' Bartlett went on to say. 'He truly believes he's on a mission from God. Absolute faith like that overwhelms a need for analysis. The whole thing about faith is to believe things for which there is no empirical evidence.' Bartlett paused, then said, 'But you can't run the world on faith.'"
"Instead of constantly berating George Bush and proclaiming him a hypocrite without compassion I believe it is the solemn duty of every liberal to make reparations to George Bush. And the best way to do this is to make sure that every member of the Christian Coalition, every evangelical, fundamentalist and God-fearing, church-going, conservative in America is made fully aware of how forgiving George Bush has been to this convicted pedophile. And they should be made fully aware of the gravity and extent of Gary Glitter's admitted crimes including the 4,000 child-rape images the better to appreciate George Bush's wonderful capacity for forgiveness."
"The South Park movie was an assault on the status quo. Team America is a defense of it, which is inherently less funny.
"Mind you, Parker and Stone's comedic gifts haven't completely escaped them, but amid the sometimes-inspired wackiness, the pair is trying to deliver a message. That message, which uses much cruder words than can be printed here, is this: The U.S. military may be overly aggressive at times, but the terrorists are much, much worse, and those Hollywood types are dangerous, blithering idiots for expressing contrary opinions."
"Bob, let me begin by saying that what you are asking is a stupid goddamned question that only has meaning if you've been busy wolfing down chowder from Karl Rove's boner. And don't you smirk at me, you Bush bitch, you little corporate whore, so painted red by pharmaceutical companies, with your little slit mini-skirt and no panties, ready for Merck or Exxon/Mobil or Carlyle to negotiate a price for your sweet policy pussy. I'll come over to your fuckin' podium and force feed you a bowl of mercury emissions and we'll watch you twitch and dance, motherfucker, dance as that toxic shit eats away your fuckin' brain man, makin' you seem like more of a retard than ever."
"Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally, he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic."
- Fyodor Dostoyevski: Notes from Underground, 1864.
"I wish to see the discovery of a plan, that would induce and oblige nations to settle their disputes without cutting one another's throats. When will men be convinced that even successful wars at length become misfortunes to those who unjustly commenc'd them, and triumph'd blindly in their success, not seeing all the consequences."
- Benjamin Franklin
"Bush managed to push many undecided and independent voters in the direction of this current edition of the loathsome 'Massachusetts liberal,' a proud commonwealth that once was the cauldron of the American Revolution that has of late, in the magic geography of the Bush elite, apparently become a suburb of Paris. He did this simply by his own god-awful performance and his opponent's nettlesome insistence on appearing to be a mature adult -- Kerry looked the part; Bush looked like he was coming apart. Voters not enslaved by unrealistic political fixations began to appreciate that a calm man with a firm but friendly mien who can put his thoughts into full sentences might actually be able to deal with the world without threatening violence or feigning pique and conquer domestic problems with nimble intelligence, whereas the shambling, occasionally inarticulate heap across the stage from him -- with all the persuasive power and poise of a kid caught near a broken window readying to toss another rock -- more closely resembled a hollow log than presidential timber. In each debate, Kerry had command of the facts, figures, and himself; Bush took us through yet another rambling tour of his junk shop of campaign slogans, evasions, diversions, and blatant lies, augmented by smirks, sneers, and class-clown attempts at gravity."
- R.S. Janes -
"Oppressors can tyrannize only when they achieve a standing army, an enslaved press, and a disarmed populace."
- James Madison -
"We all have to recognize that no matter how great our strength, we must deny ourselves the license to do always as we please."
- President Harry S. Truman -
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it."
- Andre Gide -
"Because, see, all things are not equal. For instance, how severely John Kerry was injured in Vietnam is not equivalent to whether or not Bush is hiding the fact that he didn't fulfill his military obligations. For instance, John Kerry's conflicted vote for authorization to go to war is not equivalent to the President taking us to war under false pretenses. It's like saying that squashing a bug is the moral equivalent of slitting the throat of a small child. Yeah, you've got toddler blood on your hands, but look at the other guy - he has bug guts on his shoes. See? You're both killers."
"Behind these bars I sit a free man because I listened to a higher power, the voice of my conscience."
- Sgt. Camilo Mejia: sentenced to one year in prison for refusing to return to fight in Iraq -
"The overwhelming popularity of President Bush, in spite of everything, finally shows us what the American people, whom we have so sentimentalized for so long, a la Norman Rockwell, really are, thanks to TV and purposely lousy public schools: ignorant."
"There are two kinds of artists, and one is not superior to the other. But one kind responds to the history of his or her art so far, and the other responds to life itself."
"Deep in the brain lies the amygdala, an almond-sized region that generates fear. When this fear state is activated, the amygdala springs into action. Before you are even consciously aware that you are afraid, your lizard brain responds by clicking into survival mode. No time to assess the situation, no time to look at the facts, just: fight, flight or freeze.
"And, boy, have the Bushies been giving our collective amygdala a workout. Especially Dick Cheney, who has proven himself an unmatched master of the dark art of fear-mongering. For an object lesson in how to get those lizard brains leaping, look no further than the vice-presidential debate."
"During the three presidential debates, only one question was asked about the environment, but the answers still led to one of the biggest whoppers told by an American president since Bill Clinton claimed he had not had sexual relations with a certain intern.
"President Bush said he was a 'good steward' of the land, but in reality Bush has blocked California's efforts to clean its own air, attempted to open more public land to extraction industries and destroyed the morale of National Park Service employees. The League of Conservation Voters, hardly a radical environmental group, awarded Bush its first F grade."
"10 - Because Saddam was personally responsible for 9/11; I mean because the US was under imminent threat of attack from Iraq; I mean, Saddam had weapons of mass distraction, I mean destruction programs, that he was selling to the Al-Qaeda and Taliban. Oh, wait a minute, now it's coming to me. Because we wanted to liberate the Iraqi people against a ruthless and mean dictator. Yeah, that's it. Like we said all along, Bush just wanted to liberate the Iraqi people."
"Going through life with a conscience is like driving your car with the brakes on."
- Sammy Glick in Budd Schulberg's What Makes Sammy Run? -
Everything Else
Censored website of the week:
Re-code.
Mordechai Vanunu
c/o Cathedral Church of St. George
20 Nablus Road
PO Box 19018
Jerusalem 91190
Israel
Don't let this happen to you.
and call it tax deductible.
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.
Thanks,
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'Best of TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
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Reader Link
'Get Your War On'
New installments (as of Monday) of Get Your War On
Thanks, Sharon!
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from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
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Reader Suggestions
More Bumper Stickers
Hard-Working George W. Bush: Incompetence In Action
George W. Bush On Vacation: Incompetence In Inaction
George W. Bush: The Worst President Since Millard Fillmore - And Maybe Before Millard Fillmore
George W. Bush: Forgot To Guard An Iraqi Warehouse With 350 Tons Of High Explosives
George W. Bush: Taking Away Your Right To Wear A T-Shirt That Says "Protect Our Civil Liberties"
George W. Bush: Solid, Republican Neo-Conservative Fascist Policy On Open Display
George W. Bush: Read My Lips -- No New Draft
George W. Bush: More War
George W. Bush: More Beheadings
George W. Bush: More Countries Invaded
George W. Bush: More Obscene Profits For BIG OIL
George W. Bush: More Pollution In The Air And Water
George W. Bush: More Soldiers Killed
George W. Bush: More And Bigger Deficits
George W. Bush: More Fear Of Terrorists
George W. Bush: Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!
George W. Bush: Misleader, Misgovernor, Mistake
George W. Bush: The Perception Of Success Is More Important Than Success
George W. Bush: Let Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi Get Away
George W. Bush: Let Osama Bin Laden Get Away
John Kerry: Visualize Winning
Thanks, Bruce!
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Purple Gene Reviews
Dinner & Dessert
Purple Genes' review of his vegetarian dinner and dessert at Tassajara Zen Buddhist Monastery near Big Sur California:
There's a week left before the whole world changes!!!!!
On Tuesday, November 2nd - We Americans choose the next leader of the FREE WORLD!!!! It has been an amazing Twenty First Century and I was personally exhausted - from all the movies (Farenheit 9/11), from all the Move On. Org, from all the Monkey talk (Chimp Boy sucks Repug Dick - Thanks JD!) from all the mindless fucking shit spewing out of Born Again Conservative Republican Fools! I need a BREAK.
So I drove through the deep and high mountains of the Ventana Wilderness east of Big Sur in my trusty old 4 wheel drive (Fuck Hummers forever!) because I had a dinner date with the monks at Tassajara Zen Monastery. Located at the bottom of a box canyon surrounded by mile high mountains and a 100 foot waterfall and silence and then bells and then soft chanting - bald heads, black robes - men and women practicing the ancient rituals of zen monastic life. This was to be my last supper before gearing up for the FINAL FIGHT! One week to go - I have to be ready to help save the world from BUSHISM!
6 pm the umpan bell rings and 55 monks and myself file into the ancient wooden dining hall and say a simple prayer before eating ("Free ourselves form GREED, HATE and DELUSION") we will eat in total SILENCE!
The MENU: Butter lettuce salad with pine nuts, bits of orange and avacado - sauteed chard with tofu smothered in olive oil butter and garlic, delicious brown and wild rice - and for dessert, we each had a lovely peanut butter cookie (and milk for me)........I was almost fully at peace until I went after this amazing meal to the Hot Springs Bath House for a SOAK. As I lay in the 107° water looking up at the stars, I finally melted into the moment ("Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream - it is NOT Dying"!)...
I woke up the next day to rain and snow and wind and a determination to drive out of this blessed CALM and back to the POLITICAL CHAOS.....but tonight, for dinner, the Menu will be RED MEAT!!!!! WE have to save the world from the EVIL-DOERS - BUSHCO!!!
Purple Gene gives his vegetarian Dinner at Tassajara Zen Monastery 5 stars out of 5 (better than Chez Panisse in Berkeley)...and lets all go vote this ASSHOLE OUT!!!
Purple Gene
Thanks, Purple Gene!
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Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Started raining around supper time.
The kid wanted me to thank EJ2E for the picture of Colleen's fabulous impersonation of Richard Nixon. Official backdrop, too.
We went out to dinner to celebrate the 'big 12', so I'm really running late.
Tonight, Wednesday:
CBS starts the night with '60 Minutes', followed by the SEASON PREMIERE 'King Of Queens', then the
SERIES PREMIERE 'Center Of The Universe', followed by a FRESH 'CSI: The 3rd One'.
On a RERUN Dave (from 9/10/04) are Drew Barrymore and Aron Ralston.
Scheduled on a FRESH 'Craiggers' with guest host Jim Gaffigan is Michael Jr.
NBC opens the night with a FRESH 'LAX', followed by a FRESH 'West Wing', then a FRESH .
On a RERUN Leno (from 9/20/04) are Jon Stewart, Bernard Hopkins, and Skye Sweetnam.
On a RERUN Conan (from 6/24/04) are Marlon Wayans, Nicole Richie, and Heart.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Al Franken, Keith Olbermann, and Toots and the Maytals.
ABC begins the night with a FRESH 'Lost', followed by a FRESH 'The Bachelor', then a FRESH 'Wife Swap'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Joe Pantoliano, Regina King, and Alterbridge.
The WB offers a FRESH 'Smallville', followed by a FRESH 'The Mountain'.
Faux has the LIVE 'World Series Baseball' - game 4. Prime time on the left coast will be filled with
RERUNs of 'Simpsons' and 'Malcolm'.
UPN has a FRESH 'America's Next Top Model', followed by a FRESH 'Kevin Hill'.
A&E has 'American Justice', another 'American Justice', 'Family Plots', 'Airline', and 'Biography' (Rod Stewart).
AMC offes the movie 'Halloween 5', followed by the movie 'Scream 2', then the FRESH 'FilmFakers'.
BBC -
[2pm] 'As Time Goes By' - Episode 4;
[2:40pm] 'Are You Being Served?' - Dear Sexy Knickers;
[3:20pm] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 3;
[4pm] 'The Saint' - The Helpful Pirate;
[5pm] 'The Weakest Link' - Episode 81;
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Innes;
[7pm] 'My Hero' - A Sporting Chance;
[7:40pm] 'Absolutely Fabulous' - Hospital;
[8:20pm] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 1;
[9pm] 'My Family' - The Unkindest Cut;
[9:40pm] 'Kumars at No. 42' - Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen;
[10:20pm] 'Coupling' - Sex, Death and Nudity;
[11pm] 'My Family' - The Unkindest Cut;
[11:40pm] 'Kumars at No. 42' - Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen;
[12:20am] 'Coupling' - Sex, Death and Nudity;
[1am] 'My Hero' - A Sporting Chance;
[1:40am] 'Absolutely Fabulous' - Hospital;
[2:20am] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 1;
[3am] 'My Family' - The Unkindest Cut;
[3:40am] 'Kumars at No. 42' - Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen;
[4:20am] 'Coupling' - Sex, Death and Nudity;
[5am] 'The Office' - Episode 6;
[5:40am] 'Brilliant!' - Episode 5;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'West Wing', '100 Scariest Movie Moments' (part 1 of 5), and 'Celebrity Poker Showdown'.
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', followed by the movie 'Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie', then a FRESH
'South Park', followed by the SERIES PREMIERE 'Drawn Together'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Rev. Jesse Jackson.
History has all 'Modern Marvels' all night.
IFC -
[6AM] 'Alone in the Dark' (1982);
[7:45AM] Short: 'Patchwork Monkey' (2003);
[8AM] 'Harold and Maude' (1971);
[9:45AM] 'IFC In Theaters' (2004);
[10AM] 'Waking Life' (2000);
[11:45AM] 'IFC Short Film Collection II' (2004);
[1:45PM] 'At The Angelika #89' (2004);
[2:15PM] 'Barry Lyndon' (1975);
[5:30PM] 'Waking Life' (2000);
[7:15PM] 'Fever Pitch' (1997);
[9PM] 'Ready To Wear' (1994);
[11:15PM] 'American History X' (1998);
[1:15AM] 'Ready To Wear' (1994);
[3:30AM] 'A Clockwork Orange' (1971). (ALL TIMES EDT)
SciFi has 'Beyond Belief', followed by a FRESH 'Proof Postive', then a
FRESH 'Ghost Hunter', followed by 'Scare Tactics', and another 'Scare Tactics'.
Sundance -
[AM] 'The Al Franken Show' (10/26/04) (Original Production);
[8AM] 'Uncovered: The Whole Truth About The Iraq War' (Feature);
[9AM] 'The Damned and the Sacred' (Documentary);
[10:20AM] 'In Praise of Love' (Feature);
[12PM] 'Guy Maddin: Waiting for Twilight' (Documentary);
[1PM] 'The Slaughter Rule' (Feature);
[3PM] 'I'm Going Home' (Je Rentre a la Maison) (World Cinema);
[4:30PM] 'Oporto of My Childhood' (Feature);
[5:30PM] 'Um Filme Falado' (Feature);
[7PM] 'Aftermath: The Remnants of War' (Feature);
[8:15PM] 'Fuse' (Feature);
[10PM] 'Uncovered: The Whole Truth About The Iraq War' (Feature);
[11PM] 'Tanner on Tanner: The Awful Truth' (Original Production);
[11:30PM] 'The Al Franken Show' (10/27/04) (Original Production);
[12:30AM] 'Dahmer' (Feature);
[2:15AM] 'Neo-Noir' (Short);
[2:30AM] 'The Al Franken Show' (10/27/04) (Original Production);
[3:30AM] 'Heavenly Creatures' (Feature);
[5:15AM] 'Rhapsody in August' (Feature). (ALL TIMES EDT)
TCM:
[6:45am] 'Girl Happy' (1965);
[8:30am] 'Kid Galahad' (1962);
[10:15am] 'Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Daughter' (1968);
[12pm] 'The Unsinkable Molly Brown' (1964);
[2:15pm] 'Frankie and Johnny' (1966);
[3:45pm] 'The Singing Nun' (1966);
[5:30pm] 'Boy Friend' (1971);
[8pm] 'Oliver!' (1968);
[10:30pm] 'Funny Lady' (1975);
[1am] 'Fiddler on the Roof' (1971);
[4:15am] 'New York, New York' (1977). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Thursday - 10/28
TCM:
[7am] 'Scarlet Dawn' (1932);
[8:15am] 'Anna Karenina' (1935);
[10am] 'War and Peace' (1956);
[1:30pm] 'The Red Badge Of Courage' (1951);
[3pm] 'To Hell And Back' (1955);
[5pm] 'Where Eagles Dare' (1969);
[8pm] 'They Won't Forget' (1937);
[10pm] 'To Kill A Mockingbird' (1962);
[12:30am] 'Fury' (1936);
[2:15am] 'Madame X' (1937);
[3:30am] 'Trial' (1955);
[5:30am] 'Festival of Shorts #35' (2001). (ALL TIMES EDT)
TV LAND has the FRESH 'Inside TV Land: Primetime Politics'.
Any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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People wait to hear hip-hop mogul Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs at Wayne State University in Detroit, Tuesday, Oct. 26, 2004. Combs' Citizen Change initiative is on a three-day get-out-the-vote drive with stops in Milwaukee, Cleveland, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and Miami.
Photo by Paul Sancya
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Confronts Mikey Powell
Howard Stern
Radio shock jock Howard Stern, who is moving to satellite radio to avoid broadcast decency rules, traded verbal jabs on air with Federal Communications Commission Chairman Michael Powell on Tuesday, charging him with nepotism and undermining free speech.
"It is apparent to most of us in broadcasting that your father got you your job," said Stern, who called in while Powell was being interviewed on San Francisco's KGO-AM 810.
The two jousted for more than 10 minutes. The FCC chief initially resisted taking calls from audience listeners but relented and Stern pounced after getting word of the show.
Mark Silverman, the producer of Ronn Owens' show on which the two appeared, said Powell was caught by surprise and appeared to be tense, and his staff was angry.
Howard Stern
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Decries War in Iraq
Walter Cronkite
Veteran newsman Walter Cronkite said Americans aren't any safer because of the U.S.-led war on Iraq.
"The problem, quite clearly, is we have excited the Arab world, the Muslim world, to take up arms against us," Cronkite said Saturday, adding that this excitement far exceeds the anger that existed among terrorist groups prior to the war.
Cronkite made the comments after receiving an award from the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation during the group's gala at Fess Parker's Doubletree Resort.
The war on Iraq marked the first time the United States has conducted a pre-emptive invasion and occupation of another country, he noted.
Asked what it will take to achieve peace, Cronkite said, "It certainly has to include, as a major factor, diplomacy."
Walter Cronkite
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Springsteen & Bon Jovi
Kerry Rallies
Rocker Bruce Springsteen is joining Sen. John Kerry in the final days of his bid to become the nation's boss.
Springsteen plans to play a song or two at campaign rallies Thursday in Madison, Wis., and Columbus, Ohio, both in battleground states likely to determine the winner of the election. He'll join Kerry in Cleveland the night before Election Day.
Jon Bon Jovi, another rock musician supporting Kerry, played a few songs to open rallies Michigan and Wisconsin on Monday and expects to rejoin the Massachusetts Democrat later this week. As he leaped atop a stage in a hotel parking lot at a late-night rally in Green Bay, Wis., Bon Jovi said, "Surprise," to several hundred chilled Kerry supporters.
Kerry Rallies
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Comedian Steve Martin (L) joins fellow comedian Dan Aykroyd and Aykroyd's wife Donna Dixon, as they arrive at the Kennedy Center to honor Emmy-award winning writer Lorne Michaels, creator of the long-running late night TV program 'Saturday Night Live,' in Washington October 25, 2004. Michaels was awarded the Kennedy Center's Mark Twain Prize and was saluted by a wide range of American entertainers.
Photo by Mike Theiler
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Revived As Anti-Bush Song
'Monster Mash'
Just in time for Halloween comes a new version of the 1960s hit "Monster Mash" - this time an Internet critique of the Bush administration's environmental policies.
The new version, a flash video called "Monster Slash," features the original singer, Bobby "Boris" Pickett, taking resident Bush to task for policies to promote logging and mining.
"He and his friends cut the forest down," Pickett sings as animated figures of Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and other administration officials dance with a chain saw, hatchet and scythe.
"He did the slash," Pickett continues in a reworking of the familiar chorus. "They did the forest slash. ... It was brutally brash."
Pickett, who hit Number 1 on the charts with "Monster Mash" in 1962, said he agreed to record the new version "because, like millions of people, I think this president has the worst environmental record in the history of our great nation."
'Monster Slash'
'Monster Mash'
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Unveils Scuplture
Tony Bennett
Tony Bennett unveiled his heart - a 5-foot heart-shaped sculpture on which he painted an image of the Golden Gate Bridge - at Union Square before crooning his famous song to an adoring crowd.
Bennett made the appearance Monday as part of the Hearts in San Francisco project, a collection of 130 decorated heart sculptures that have been displayed on city streets and public spaces since Valentine's Day.
After unveiling his heart, which will be on permanent display at Union Square, Bennett joined the crowd in singing his signature tune, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
Tony Bennett
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Mark Twain Award for American Humor
Lorne Michaels
Days after hot new pop starlet Ashlee Simpson was caught lip-synching on "Saturday Night Live," the creator of the veteran comedy show was honored on Monday by the comics who got their big break from him.
Lorne Michaels was awarded the 2004 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, during a ceremony attended by the likes of "Not Ready for Prime Time" stars Steve Martin, Tim Meadows, Darrell Hammond, Chevy Chase, Molly Shannon, Dan Aykroyd and Tina Fey.
Other guests included singer Paul Simon, actress Candice Bergen, talk show host Conan O'Brien and U.S. Sens. Christopher Dodd (D-Conn.) and John McCain (R-Ariz.).
Everyone heaped praise and occasional humiliation on Canadian-born Michaels, 59, who described SNL as "always being stuck in adolescence." But the Simpson fiasco went unmentioned.
Lorne Michaels
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Key to the City
Sarah Jessica Parker
"Sex and the City" actress Sarah Jessica Parker has been presented a key to Nelsonville, a small southeastern Ohio city where she was born.
Parker received the key during a visit to the Athens County Democratic Party's Nelsonville headquarters Thursday while stumping for Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry. She then headed to nearby Athens, home of Ohio University.
She then signed autographs on everything from fliers to designer shoes in the Blue Gator bar, owned by former Mideast hostage Terry Anderson. Anderson, who was chief Middle East correspondent for The Associated Press when he was held for 6 1/2 years in Lebanon by Iranian-sponsored terrorists, is running as a Democrat for state senator.
Sarah Jessica Parker
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Members of 'ReDefeat Bush,' with their message on their umbrellas, welcome drivers leaving Virginia and entering Washington on the Memorial Bridge during morning rush-hour, October 26, 2004. In the background is the Lincoln Monument.
Photo by Larry Downing
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Baby News
Daniel Julez J. Smith
"Solo Star" singer Solange Knowles, little sister of Beyonce, has given birth to a baby boy, according to her publicist.
Knowles, 18, gave birth in Los Angeles to Daniel Julez J. Smith on Oct. 18, said Marcus R. Harris of Music World-Sanctuary, which manages Knowles, Beyonce and other artists.
Daniel Julez J. Smith
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Curtains?
Jerry Springer: The Opera
Defamation suits, bad press, feuding producers - Jerry Springer: The Opera has spawned a behind-the-scenes soap opera to match its onstage melodramatics.
The scabrous musical inspired by the king of trash TV is facing early closure because of an expensive lawsuit against a British newspaper that claimed - untruthfully, at the time - that it was losing money.
A huge critical hit, Jerry Springer is due to run until in London's West End until October 2005, with a Broadway production scheduled to open next fall. But producers acknowledge that the mounting cost of a lawsuit against the Daily Mail newspaper could force it to close within days.
Jerry Springer: The Opera
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pissed
(formerly 'The Vidiot')
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Web Server Takedown
Indymedia
Devin Theriot-Orr, a member a feisty group of reporter-activists called Indymedia, was surprised when two FBI agents showed up at his Seattle law office, saying the visit was a "courtesy call" on behalf of Swiss authorities.
Theriot-Orr was even more surprised a week later when more than 20 Indymedia Web sites were knocked offline as the computer servers that hosted them were seized in Britain.
The case, which involves an Internet company based in Texas, photos of undercover Swiss police officers and a request from an Italian prosecutor investigating anarchists, raises questions about the circumstances under which Internet companies can be compelled to turn over data.
for the rest, Indymedia
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Bono, left, of the band U-2, and Apple Computers Inc. Chief Executive Steve Jobs, right, hold up Apple iPods at an unveiling of a new branded iPod in San Jose, Calif., Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2004. Bono is holding up a new iPod with a red dial and black casing.
Photo by Paul Sakuma
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Vow Caution Over Speed in Election
TV Networks
Television news executives, still smarting from the debacle of Election Night coverage in 2000, say their desire to be first in calling a winner will take a back seat this year to a loftier goal -- getting it right.
And for the first time in modern U.S. politics, the networks are acknowledging in advance that the best projection to make at the end of the night next Tuesday may be simply: "Too close to call."
Combined with an updated system for exit polling and tabulating election returns on a county-by-county basis, the news divisions of the Big Three broadcasters -- CBS, ABC, NBC -- as well as cable network rivals Fox News Channel and CNN, are emphasizing a back-to-basics approach.
The National Election Pool, formed last year to replace the now-defunct Voter News Service whose faulty data was widely blamed for bungled election coverage in 2000, also has devised updated computer models for projecting results.
TV Networks
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Another Zell
David Zucker
Hollywood filmmaker David Zucker, a lifelong Democrat who once advised ex-president Bill Clinton, has unveiled a new movie lampooning Democratic presidential hopeful John Kerry.
Famed for his blockbuster comedies "Airplane!," "Naked Gun," and "Ruthless People," Zucker has branded the Democrat an indecisive flip-flopper and thrown the power of his wit behind resident George W. Bush.
The mocking attack came in a new film released by the Republican-supporting group Club for Growth just days ahead of the November 2 election that promised to be one of the closest races for the White House.
David Zucker
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List of Winners
Radio Music Awards
The list of Radio Music Awards winners:
Artist of the Year - Hip Hop/Rythmic Radio: Usher.
Artist of the Year - Top 40 Radio: Beyonce.
Artist of the Year - Country Radio: Tim McGraw.
Song of the Year - Rock Alternative Radio: Linkin Park - "Numb."
Song of the Year - Hip-Hop/Rythmic Radio: Usher - "Yeah!"
Artist of the Year - Rock Radio: Linkin' Park.
Artist of the Year - Modern Adult: Train.
Legend Award: Janet Jackson.
Cingular Artist of the Year: Usher.
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Heads to Naval Academy
USS Constellation
The only Civil War-era vessel still afloat left its mooring in Baltimore's Inner Harbor on Tuesday and made its first voyage to the Naval Academy at Annapolis in 111 years.
The venerable USS Constellation can no longer make the 30-mile trip on her own power, so the sloop of war was moved to the academy by tugboats. The six-day visit is part of a celebration of the 150th anniversary of the Constellation, launched in 1854.
USS Constellation
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Daniel Selznick, middle, son of the late film producer David O. Selznick, with actresses Ann Rutherford, left, and Cammie King accepts a posthumous star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Tuesday, Oct. 26, 2004, in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles. Even though he produced 'Gone with the Wind' and other movie classics, David O. Selznick never had his own star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. That oversight was corrected Tuesday when the Producers Guild sponsored Selznick's star located a half-block from Grauman's Chinese Theater where many of his films played.
Photo by Damian Dovarganes
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Nominations
People's Choice Awards
Nominees for the 31st annual People's Choice Awards were announced Tuesday by Jason Alexander and Malcolm-Jamal Warner of TV's "Listen Up" and Eva Longoria and Nicollette Sheridan of "Desperate Housewives."
The nominees were compiled by Entertainment Weekly, the People's Choice production team and pop culture fans. The public can choose the winners online starting Tuesday.
Additional feature film categories will be announced later. CBS will broadcast the ceremony from 9-11 p.m. on Sunday, Jan. 9. Live in the East, it will be delayed in the West.
The nominees:
Favorite female movie star: Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Julia Roberts, Charlize Theron, Reese Witherspoon.
Favorite male movie star: George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington.
Favorite female action movie star: Kate Beckinsale, Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Keira Knightley, Uma Thurman.
Favorite male action movie star: Matt Damon, Hugh Jackman, Tobey Maguire, Viggo Mortensen, Will Smith.
Favorite leading man: Zach Braff, Jim Carrey, Colin Farrell, Jude Law, Brad Pitt.
Favorite leading lady: Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Garner, Natalie Portman, Kate Winslet, Renee Zellweger.
Favorite group: Evanescence, Maroon 5, No Doubt, OutKast, U2.
Favorite male singer: Eminem, Josh Groban, John Mayer, Prince, Usher.
Favorite female singer: Sheryl Crow, Norah Jones, Alicia Keys, Avril Lavigne, Sarah McLachlan.
Favorite remake: "Carwash," Christina Aguilera, Missy Elliot, Lil' Kim; "The First Cut is the Deepest," Sheryl Crow; "It's My Life," No Doubt; "Livin' La Vida Loca," Antonio Banderas & Eddie Murphy; "Take My Breath Away," Jessica Simpson.
Favorite combined forces: Christina Aguilera, Missy Elliot, Lil' Kim ("Carwash"); Black Eyed Peas, Justin Timberlake ("Where is the Love"); Norah Jones, Dolly Parton ("The Grass is Blue"); Lil' John, Usher ("Yeah!"); Britney Spears, Madonna ("Me Against the Music").
Favorite new TV comedy: "Complete Savages," "Entourage," "Father of the Pride," "Joey," "Quintuplets."
Favorite new TV drama: "Boston Legal," "CSI: NY," "Desperate Housewives," "Jack and Bobby," "Lost."
Favorite TV comedy: "Arrested Development," "Everybody Loves Raymond," "Scrubs," "That '70s Show," "Will & Grace."
Favorite TV drama: "Alias," "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," "Gilmore Girls," "The O.C.," "Sopranos."
Favorite female TV star: Jennifer Garner ("Alias"), Lauren Graham ("Gilmore Girls"), Marg Helgenberger ("CSI: Crime Scene Investigation"), Debra Messing ("Will & Grace"), Megan Mullally ("Will & Grace").
Favorite male TV star: Jason Bateman ("Arrested Development"); Zach Braff ("Scrubs"); Matthew Fox ("Lost"); Matt Le Blanc ("Joey"), James Spader ("Boston Legal").
Favorite late-night talk show host: Jimmy Kimmel, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart.
Favorite funny male star: Jack Black, Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell, Jon Stewart, Ben Stiller.
Favorite funny female star: Ellen DeGeneres, Tina Fey, Debra Messing, Megan Mullally, Wanda Sykes.
Favorite daytime talk show host: Tony Danza, Ellen DeGeneres, Dr. Phil McGraw, Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa, Oprah Winfrey.
Favorite reality show (competition): "The Amazing Race," "American Idol," "The Apprentice," "Survivor," "Last Comic Standing."
Favorite reality show (makeover): "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," "Pimp My Ride," "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," "Trading Spaces," "What Not to Wear."
Favorite reality show (other): "Airline," "Newlyweds," "The Real World," "The Surreal Life," "Wife Swap."
People's Choice Awards
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No Charges
Steve Sipek
Prosecutors have decided not to charge a former Tarzan actor in the escape of a 600-pound tiger last July.
A state wildlife officer shot and killed the tiger July 13 after the big cat allegedly lunged at him following a 26-hour hunt for his capture.
But prosecutors filed a court document Monday saying they were unable to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Steve Sipek negligently allowed the tiger to escape, The Miami Herald reported.
The state also couldn't disprove Sipek's allegation that someone else let the tiger out of the compound, Palm Beach County Assistant State Attorney Paul Zacks wrote in the document.
Steve Sipek
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Newspaper Endorsements
Daily Tally
As editorial endorsements wind down along with the election campaign, only a few major papers remain on the sidelines, with their picks expected this Sunday or before. This small group includes, among others, The Providence Journal, The Sun in Baltimore, and the Saint Paul Pioneer Press.
But in today's updated E&P list of endorsements, mainly adding small and midsized papers, resident Bush made some gains, picking up 20 while Sen. John Kerry added 15. Kerry now leads in endorsements 142 to 123 and in the circulation of those papers (roughly 17.5 million to 11.5 million).
JOHN KERRY
142 newspapers total
17,403,436 daily circulation
GEORGE W. BUSH
123 newspapers total
11,530,493 daily circulation
For the list of newspapers, by state, Daily Tally
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In Memory
Robert Merrill
Acclaimed singer Robert Merrill, the opera baritone who felt equally comfortable on opening night at the Metropolitan Opera House or opening day at Yankee Stadium, has died.
Merrill died Saturday at his home in suburban New York City, family friend Barry Tucker said Monday. Reference books gave conflicting ages for Merrill, 87 or 85.
Merrill, once described in Time magazine as "one of the Met's best baritones," became as well-known to New York Yankees fans for his season-opening rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" - a tradition that began in 1969.
In his 31 consecutive seasons with the Metropolitan Opera, Merrill performed virtually every baritone role in the operatic repertoire.
Merrill retired from the Met in 1976 but returned to its stage in 1983, when the company marked its centennial.
Merrill made his operatic debut in 1944, singing Amonasro in "Aida" on a Trenton, N.J., stage. He signed on with the Metropolitan Opera in 1945 and debuted there that year as the elder Germont in "La Traviata."
Merrill was born the son of shoe salesman Abraham Merrill and Lillian Balaban. His mother had an operatic and concert career in Poland before her marriage and guided her son through his early musical training.
Growing up in Brooklyn, Merrill was first inspired by music as a teenager when he saw a Metropolitan Opera performance of "Il Trovatore." The young baritone paid for singing lessons with extra money he earned as a semipro pitcher.
Merrill is survived by his wife, a son, a daughter and grandchildren, Tucker said.
Robert Merrill
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In Memory
John Peel
John Peel, a long-serving British Broadcasting Corp. disc jockey whose enthusiasm for the offbeat, the eclectic and the obscure launched the careers of dozens of bands, has died, the BBC said Tuesday. He was 65.
The broadcaster said Peel suffered a heart attack Monday while vacationing in Peru with his wife, Sheila. Dr. Alcides Vargas, who worked to revive Peel, told Peru's Radioprogramas radio that the deejay suffered a heart attack in his hotel room in Cuzco, 570 kilometres southeast of the Peruvian capital, Lima. He was pronounced dead on the way to a clinic.
Peel's program on Radio 1, the BBC's flagship pop music station, exerted a huge influence for more than 30 years. He was often the first to play demo tapes by little-known bands, and his enthusiasm propelled some to fame.
Peel promoted reggae, hip-hop and punk on the sometimes conservative BBC, and championed acts ranging from Jimi Hendrix to The Smiths, The Fall, Pulp and Northern Irish punks The Undertones.
His live studio sessions were coveted by bands, and many were released on record as the John Peel Sessions.
Peel was born John Ravenscroft near Liverpool in 1939. As a teenager, he later said, his life was changed by hearing Elvis Presley singing Heartbreak Hotel. In the early 1960s he moved to Dallas, Tex., where his roots in Liverpool - newly famous as home of the Beatles - enabled him to get a job on WRR radio, hosting a Rhythm 'n' Blues program called Kat's Karavan.
Returning to Britain, he worked on the pirate station Radio London, broadcasting from a boat off the English coast, where he adopted the name John Peel.
He joined the BBC in 1967, broadcasting on Radio 1 and internationally on the World Service. Since 1998 he also had presented Home Truths, a whimsical show about the travails of family life, on the BBC's talk-based Radio 4.
He is survived by his wife and four children. Funeral details were not immediately announced.
John Peel
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A four-day-old baby hippopotamus stays close to its mother Nakham in Bangkok's Dusit Zoo. The zoo, which said the name of the 13 kilogram baby hippo will be picked in a contest, have not identified its gender.
Photo by Adrees Latif
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The Only Daily That Comes Out Weekly
or sometimes bi-weekly.
Issue #126
is brought to you by
Campaign in the Ass
This is where I normally write something. It was going to be my extensive guide to the election, including all California propositions. I'm still working on it, and it will show up in a special election issue later this week, and it will be called Campaign in the Ass because, well, you know how I feel about puns. I say this to everyone who complained there wasn't an issue last week, even though there was a memorial to David Jove and a new gallery of photos of NYC that took just as much time as an issue of Disinfotainment Today, so it's not as though I wasn't doing anything. Geez you guys are tough. And now on to our regularly scheduled program. Freedom and weep...
Fuck Off
November 2nd is National Celibacy Day.
One Good Thing About the Patriot Act
You don't have to pay your income taxes because the Patriot Act specifically forbids any funding of terrorist organizations.
Executive Orders With the Force of Law When Enacted by the President
The Texas Department of Public Safety Crime Laboratory Service in Amarillo (Amarillo, Texas) recently received a submission of approximately 70,000 chocolate candies (total net mass 154 kilograms), suspected psilocybin mushroom/chocolate concoctions. The exhibits were seized by the Texas State Highway Patrol pursuant to a vehicle stop on I-40, just west of Amarillo (the vehicle was traveling from California to Tennessee). The candies were being stored in the vehicles trunk in trash bags, under what appeared to be a space blanket, and were furthermore being cooled by dry ice.
- INTELLIGENCE ALERT: 70,000 PSILOCYBIN MUSHROOM/CHOCOLATE CANDIES SEIZED NEAR AMARILLO, TEXAS (Check it out. Lots of insane busts, including lollipops containing heroin) -
1) Why is the left, even people like Bill Maher and Michael Moore, treating Afghanistan like it was the GOOD war while Iraq is the BAD war? The same people who lied to us about WMDs to justify the war in Iraq told us about Osama and the Taliban to justify the war in Afghanistan. Couldn't they have been lying about that too? (FYI, Bush falsely told us that the government of Afghanistan had refused to hand over Osama bin Laden, a deceit echoed by other countries invading the sovereign state, such as Britain and Australia. The Afghan government, in fact, offered to extradite bin Laden to a neutral nation, as it did not trust the George W. Bush regime â€" a suspicion that in due course would come to be quite the norm worldwide. They simply asked for evidence. Bush gave none to Afghanistan OR the American people. No other reason for the invasion of Afghanistan has ever been attempted by the US government, not even the WMDs excuse used for America's invasion of Iraq.)
2) Would you be surprised if Bush killed Kerry with a nuclear hit on the city where Kerry is at the time of the election?
Send your answers to stupidquestion@disinfotainmenttoday.com.
Mr. Paranoia Says...
Photo of a HAARP Array in Alaska
I don't know why they would have wanted to purposely destroy Florida, but they certainly could have...
"By causing many towers [HAARP, GWEN, etc.] to pulse with the exact ELF frequency of the normal earth pulsation, scientists have learned how to not only create, but also how to maneuver and direct storms. Tesla's discovery can duplicate almost every single phenomena of nature, from cyclones to tornadoes; and now, with Solar Power Satellites used in conjunction with land based towers, weather Control is just that simple."
Headlines of the Week
O'REILLY OUTSOURCES PHONE SEX TO INDIA
Heavy Call Volume Cited
