BartCop Entertainment Archives - Wednesday, 7 June, 2006

Wednesday

7 June, 2006

big hammer - bigger hammer

(Updated Daily)

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Issue #666

Disinfotainment Today

By Michael Dare

Issue #666
is brought to you by...
The Google Smackdown of the Week
 
 
vs.
 
 
and the winner is "Bush is Satan" by 862.
 
 
 
Debunk of the Week
 
There's an argument brewing over whether the number of the beast in the Book of Revelations is 666 like everyone thinks or 616 like it shows in this scrap of ancient manuscript...
 
Fragment from Book of Revelation mentions 616 in the third line
chi, iota, sigma (courtesy Egypt Exploration Society)
 
Allow me to point out that this argument is similar to one over the length of Rapunzel's hair. There is no right answer. Rapunzel didn't exist, the beast doesn't have a number, and the Book of Revelations is an outrageous and improbable piece of fiction that is mysteriously interpreted as fact by millions of gullible idiots who look forward to Armageddon.
 
But don't take my word for it. Ever read a book only to discover that the author was saying things you had always thought but had somehow never articulated? That's what kept happening to me while I was reading Sam Harris's The End of Faith - Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason. On this meaningless day of a meaningless group of numbers concerning a meaningless prophecy and a force of evil that certainly doesn't exist except in the mind of lunatics and parodists, here are some quotes from one of the most rational books ever written...
 
Our situation is this: most of the people in this world believe that the Creator of the universe has written a book. We have the misfortune of having many such books on hand, each making an exclusive claim as to its infallibility. People tend to organize themselves into factions according to which of these incompatible claims they accept - rather than on the basis of language, skin color, location of birth, or any other criterion of tribalism. Each of these texts urges its reader to adopt a variety of beliefs and practices, some of which are benign, many of which are not. All are in perverse agreement on one point of fundamental importance, however: "respect" for other faiths, or for the views of unbelievers, is not an attitude that God endorses. While all faiths have been touched, here and there, by the spirit of ecumenicalism, the central tenet of every religious tradition is that all others are mere repositories of error or, at best, dangerously incomplete. Intolerance is thus intrinsic to every creed. Once a person believes - really believes - that certain ideas can lead to eternal happiness, or to its antithesis, he cannot tolerate the possibility that the people he loves might be led astray by the blandishments of unbelievers. Certainty about the next life is simply incompatible with tolerance in this one.
 
The idea that any one of our religions represents the infallible word of the One True God requires an encyclopedic ignorance of history, mythology, and art even to be entertained - as the beliefs, rituals, and iconography of each of our religions attest to centuries of cross-pollination among them. Whatever their imagined source, the doctrines of modern religions are no more tenable than those which, for lack of adherents, were cast upon the scrap heap of mythology millennia ago; for there is no more evidence to justify a belief in the literal existence of Yahweh and Satan that there was to keep Zeus perched upon his mountain throne or Poseidon churning the seas.
 
If our polls are to be trusted, nearly 230 million Americans believe that a book showing neither unity of style nor internal consistency was authored by an omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent deity... How is it that, in this one area of our lives, we have convinced ourselves that our beliefs about the world can float entirely free of reason and evidence?
 
Tell a devout Christian that his wife is cheating on him, or that frozen yogurt can make a man invisible, and he is likely to require as much evidence as anyone else, and to be persuaded only to the extent that you give it. Tell him that the book he keeps by his bed was written by an invisible deity who will punish him with fire for eternity if he fails to accept its every incredible claim about the universe, and he seems to require no evidence whatsoever.
 
The point is that most of what we currently hold sacred is not sacred for any reason other than that it was thought sacred yesterday. Surely, if we could create the world anew, the practice of organizing our lives around untestable propositions found in ancient literature - to say nothing of killing and dying for them - would be impossible to justify.
 
Religious faith represents so uncompromising a misuse of the power of our minds that it forms a kind of perverse, cultural singularity - a vanishing point beyond which rational discourse proves impossible. When foisted upon each generation anew, it renders us incapable of realizing just how much of our world had been unnecessarily ceded to a dark and barbarous past.
 
Our world is fast succumbing to the activities of men and women who would stake the future of our species on beliefs that should not survive an elementary school education. That so many of us are still dying on account of ancient myths is as bewildering as it is horrible, and our own attachment to these myths, whether moderate or extreme, has kept us silent in the face of developments that could ultimately destroy us.
 
Imagine that we could revive a well-educated Christian of the fourteenth century. The man would prove to be a total ignoramus, except on matters of faith. His beliefs about geography, astronomy, and medicine would embarrass even a child, but he would know more or less everything there is to know about God. Though he would be considered a fool to think that the earth is the center of the cosmos, or that trepanning (the practice of boring holes in the human skull to cure epilepsy and mental illness) constitutes a wise medical intervention, his religious ideas would still be beyond reproach. There are two explanations for this: either we perfected our religious understanding of the world a millennium ago - while our knowledge on all other fronts was still hopelessly inchoate - or religion, being the mere maintenance of dogma, is one area of discourse that does not admit of progress.
 
Imagine a world in which generations of human beings come to believe that certain films were made by God or that specific software was coded by him. Imagine a future in which millions of our descendants murder each other over rival interpretations of Star Wars or Windows 98. Could anything - anything - be more ridiculous? And yet, this would be no more ridiculous than the world we are living in.
 
As a consequence of our silence on these matters, we live in a country in which a person cannot get elected president if he openly doubts the existence of heaven and hell. This is truly remarkable, given that there is no other body of "knowledge" that we require our political leaders to master. Even a hairstylist must pass a licensing exam before plying his trade in the United States, and yet those given the power to make war and national policy - those whose decisions will inevitably affect human life for generations - are not expected to know anything in particular before setting to work. They do not have to be political scientists, economists, or even lawyers; they need not have studied international relations, military history, resource management, civil engineering, or any other field of knowledge that might be brought to bear in the governance of a modern superpower; they need only be expert fund-raisers, comport themselves well on television, and be indulgent of certain myths. In our next presidential election, an actor who reads his Bible would almost certainly defeat a rocket scientist who does not. Could there be any clearer indication that we are allowing unreason and otherworldliness to govern our affairs?
 
It is time we admitted, from kings and presidents on down, that there is no evidence that any of our books was authored by the Creator of the universe. The Bible, it seems certain, was the work of sand-strewn men and women who thought the earth was flat and for whom a wheelbarrow would have been a breathtaking example of emerging technology. To rely on such a document as the basis for our worldview - however heroic the efforts of redactors - is to repudiate two thousand years of civilizing insights that the human mind has only just begun to inscribe upon itself through secular politics and scientific culture. We will see that the greatest problem confronting civilization is not merely religious extremism: rather, it is the larger set of cultural and intellectual accommodations we have made to faith itself. Religious moderates are, in large part, responsible for the religious conflict in our world, because their beliefs provide the context in which scriptural literalism and religious violence can never be adequately exposed.
 
[I]n any other sphere of life, a belief is a check that everyone insists upon cashing this side of the grave; the engineer says the bridge will hold; the doctor says the infection is resistant to penicillin - these people have defensible reasons for their claims about the way the world is. The mullah, the priest, and the rabbi do not. Nothing could change about this world, or about the world of their experience, that would demonstrate the feasibility of many of their core beliefs. This proves that these beliefs are not born of any examination of the world, or of the world of their experience. It appears that even the Holocaust did not lead most Jews to doubt the existence of an omnipotent and benevolent God. If having half of your people systematically delivered to the furnace does not count as evidence against the notion that an all-powerful God is looking out for your interests, it seems reasonable to assume that nothing could. How does the mullah know that the Koran is the verbatim word of God? The only answer to be given in any language that does not make a mockery of the word "know" is - he doesn't.
 
To be ruled by ideas for which you have no evidence (and which therefore cannot be justified in conversation with other human beings) is generally a sign that something is seriously wrong with your mind. Clearly, there is sanity in numbers. And yet, it is merely an accident of history that it is considered normal in our society to believe that the Creator of the universe can hear your thoughts, while it is demonstrative of mental illness to believe that he is communicating with you by having the rain tap in Morse code on your bedroom window. And so, while religious people are not generally mad, their core beliefs absolutely are.
 
Jesus Christ - who, as it turns out, was born of a virgin, cheated death, and rose bodily into the heavens - can now be eaten in the form of a cracker. A few Latin word spoken over your favorite Burgundy, and you can drink his blood as well. Is there any doubt that the lone subscriber to these beliefs would be considered mad?
A rational approach to ethics becomes possible once we realize that questions of right and wrong are really questions about the happiness and suffering of sentient creatures. If we are in a  position to affect the happiness or suffering of others, we have ethical responsibilities towards them - and many of these responsibilities are so grave as to become matters of civil and criminal law. Taking happiness and suffering as our starting point, we can see that much of what people worry about under the guise of morality has nothing to do with the subject. It is time we realized that crimes without victims are like debts without creditors. They do not even exist. Any person who lies awake at night worrying about the private pleasures of other consenting adults has more than just too much time on his hands; he has some unjustifiable beliefs about the nature of right and wrong.
 
It is time we recognized that all reasonable men and women have a common enemy. It is an enemy so near to us, and so deceptive, that we keep its counsel even as it threatens to destroy the very possibility of human happiness. Our enemy is nothing other than faith itself.
"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes."
- James Feibleman -
 
Sexual Innuendo of the Week
 
The Pentagon filed for a patent for a "controllable launcher for propelling a payload."
 
Top 12 Sexual Innuendoes in the Movie Star Wars
 
  1. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.
  2. Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!
  3. Look at the size of that thing!
  4. Sorry about the mess...
  5. You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
  6. Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?
  7. You've got something jammed in here real good.
  8. Put that thing away before you get us all killed!
  9. Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?
  10. Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care WHAT you smell!
  11. You're all clear, kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!
  12. Get on top of it!

 
Inconvenient Chart from Hell
Adjusted for inflation, gas prices are actually lower than they were in 1980
 
Sophistimicated Doowacky of the Week
 
All it does is make things smaller, but it is a doowacky that's somewhat sophistimicated.
 
Quizzes from Hell
 
General Michael Hayden, Bush's pick to head the CIA, testified at his confirmation hearing that the NSA secret, warrantless spying program was perfectly OK because...
  1. a lawyer in the White House told him it was legal, and if you can't trust a lawyer, who can you trust?
  2. we might be talking on the telephone with a member of Al Qaeda without knowing it, and if we are, we'd really like to know about it.
  3. it's very comforting to know that our government cares enough about us to listen in on our conversations. A lot of other governments couldn't be bothered.
Hint: Exactly why are you interested in this, and what is your full name and address?
 
- Ironic Times -
 
Nothing makes any sense? Why not test your senses?
 
How healthy are you? Take the Body Quotient Quiz.
 
Headline of the Week
 
Passengers Bravely Take Down Plane Showing "Big Momma's House 2"
WASHINGTON, DC: All 105 passengers chose death over Martin Lawrence's high falsetto shrieks.
 
Answer to Last Issue's Stupid Question
 
Since my power was out, I asked what didn't happen on the final episodes of 24 and Alias...
 
How Alias and 24 didn't end:
 
    After yet another day when a president or former president is shot at, shot down and/or shot, the people, who really run the country -- the Saudis, the Chinese, the KKK and ChoicePoint -- decide they can't trust CTU. They task APO to find Jack Bauer, the sole connection between all known terrorist incidents. No one really cares what happens to the president, but the attacks have unnerved people enough that they are starting to watch Comedy Central rather than Fox. Sydney and Dixon plan corner Bauer during an LA Lakers game, so Jack kidnaps Kobe Bryant's current girlfriend and forces him to throw the series so their trap cannot be sprung. Marshall manipulates the scoreboard and the refereeing so the unheralded LA Clippers win, and the games are played at the Staples Center anyway.
    Chloe and Marshal fight a virtual duel via backdoor protocols, during which the internets are shut down. This is what Sloane has been waiting for. While the DNS servers reroute the IP nodes around LA, Sloane uses the confusion to seize control of the network to fulfill one of Rambaldi's predictions.
    Fortunately, the NSA institutes an heroic project to wiretap everybody's phone all the time. Sloane is caught while ordering a pizza. The remaining Sentox cannisters are recovered when a telemarketer calls a wrong number and Bierko answers the phone with his real name. Since so many people in the government itself are disloyal, any warrant would have tipped them off; the NSA's scheme saved the world.
    Meanwhile, Bauer convinces Sydney to leave Michael and run away with him, and she reluctantly agrees so APO can find out who's really behind everything.
    The series ends with several codas. Major plotlines are resolved but new ones are revealed. Michael is seen raising the baby with the help of Kimberly Bauer. Sark and Henderson escape to form their own assassination bureau. Irina Derevko and Jack Bristow are reunited, and she gets knocked up with yet another child destined for great things. Bill Buchanan and Karen Hayes join Dixon and Weiss at even yet another super-secret spy agency that may or may not have the best interest of the country at heart.
    Chloe and Marshall are arrested for downloading music. Their trial will be the jumping off point for Day 6 of 24.
 
Hope this helps,
 
Baron Dave
Also thanks to everyone for sending all the links to various means of downloading the episodes, which, with my poky modem, would have taken four full days of downloading per hour of screen time. Guess it's reruns for the Darester.
Stupid Question of the Week
 
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done? 
 
Gallery of the Week
Unbelievable balloon animals
 
Debunk of the Week #2
 
    "If you were to believe The Da Vinci Code you would at least think that we have all kinds of historical information about Jesus. Jesus must have been hounded by paparazzi the way The Da Vinci Code portrays it. What The Da Vinci Code does not do, certainly, is challenge the historicity of Jesus. In fact, The Da Vinci Code is based on the premise that we have more facts about the historical Jesus than most Christians today believe. The fact of the matter, however, is that all of the stories about Jesus, both the Biblical canon and the apocryphal writings, are fiction...
    "While many people may find it hard to believe that Christianity could have become so popular if Jesus were not real, it must be remembered that Christianity didn't even begin to become popular until after the time that Jesus had supposedly died, in communities where he never supposedly traveled, among people who never saw him. 'Jesus' is not responsible for the spread of Christianity, the 'story of Jesus' is. The real growth of Christianity took place in Greece, after the ministry of Paul. What ultimately made Christianity a major religion were the actions of Roman Emperors, who used it for political and military purposes in the 4th, 5th, and 6th centuries. Furthermore, there are hundreds of other examples of major religions that developed around the world based on mythical leaders that never existed.
    "Far from 'shaking the foundations of Christianity,' the Da Vinci Code further perpetuates the Jesus myth and breathes new life into many of the apocryphal fables about his life. Unfortunately, much of the really interesting scholarship on Jesus is being completely left out of the debate that has been stirred by The Da Vinci Code, because both of the sides in the debate take the position that Jesus existed in flesh and blood.
    "For the most part The Da Vinci Code has presented an easy punching bag that lay-scholars and Christian apologists can easily pummel while affirming their traditional views. While The Da Vinci Code does present many interesting concepts, and even does raise valid points about the historical rise of Christianity, it is undermined by many incorrect details, which opponents of the book have honed in on and used to their own advantage.
    "Christian organizations are using The Da Vinci Code to further promote fallacies about their faith by countering the falsehoods in The Da Vinci Code with their own falsehoods.
    "The most solid refutations of The Da Vinci Code are not claims that 'Jesus really did bodily ascent into heaven because the Bible says so,' but rather the evidences that Jesus never existed at all, and thus nothing about Jesus in The Da Vinci Code could be true, because Jesus is but a myth."
- Geoff Price: Debunking the "Da Vinci Code" Debunkers and the Jesus Myth -
 
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know
 
666 is a pretty good poker hand.
 
Don't Take My Word for It
 
"In a breath-taking display of proof that playing too many video games destroys one's ability to think clearly, a group is petitioning the Chinese government to add competitive video gaming to the 2008 Beijing Olympic competitions. The rationale? Young people aren't interested in watching the Olympic games on television and this will encourage children to watch more television. Oh good!"
 
"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature."
- Dave Barry -
 
"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
- Martin Mull -
 
"Last year, the United States gave permanent visas for unskilled laborers to two Mexicans, but jobs were waiting for most of the 500,000 Mexicans who arrived illegally."
 
"Actually I hate immigrants. They ruin our country and wreck our institutions and bankrupt the nation. I sincerely wish the Aztecs had slaughtered Cortez, and the Incas had done the same to Pizzaro. I wish the Massachusetts Indians had burned and sunk the Mayflower and all succeeding ships that tried to put ashore in North America. The Pilgrims should have been sent back to England, or put to work in the fields and kitchens as slaves for 300 years, just like the black Africans."
- Douglas Herman: Two Cheers for Immigrants -
 
"I suggest we put together a list of recipes targeted at timid hobos for making stews from parts of old shoes. We could call it Sole Soup for the Chicken."
- Robert G. Farrell -
 
    "From the writer(s) at Kiplinger's Personal Finance Magazine, courtesy of MSN: 'Vice President Dick Cheney's financial advisors are apparently betting on a rise in inflation and interest rates and on a decline in the value of the dollar against foreign currencies. That's the conclusion we draw after scouring the financial disclosure form released by Cheney recently.'
    "Okay. Here's a line of reasoning.
  1. A rise in inflation, higher interest rates, and a decline in the value of the dollar, are BAD for U.S. consumers.
  2. The above are also bad for U.S. citizens, since "consumers" and "citizens" are the same people.
  3. The above three things are GOOD for investors who invest properly, i.e., who know when and to what extent these things are going to take place. (information to which these particular investors are privy)
  4. The above three things are also good for the president and vice president of the U.S., since "investors" and "public servants" are the same people here.
  5. Therefore, what's bad for consumers is good for investors.
  6. Therefore, what's bad for citizens is good for "public servants."
  7. Therefore, by "betting on a rise in inflation and interest rates and on a decline in the value of the dollar against foreign currencies" (which I anticipate the public servants would characterize as inaccurate), our public servants knowingly PLAN to benefit financially from their own constituents' pain.
  8. Therefore, we have a conflict of interest.
    "Any counter-arguments? Other than 'Kiplinger's got their facts wrong' or 'no laws have been broken?' The first of these would be legitimate (and I think Kiplinger's will be audited and sued under a rock if it's the case). But whether Congress allows presidents to invest against their own people (i.e. whether it's 'legal'), for my money, doesn't make it okay. Legal does not = moral. It has been 'legal' to sell Africans, slaughter Jews, beat wives."
 
"
An Inconvenient Truth comes to the right conclusions about the seriousness of global warming; plus we ought to be grateful these days for anything earnest at the cineplex. But the film flirts with double standards. Laurie David, doyenne of Rodeo Drive environs, is one of the producers. As Eric Alterman noted in the Atlantic, David 'reviles owners of SUVs as terrorist enablers, yet gives herself a pass when it comes to chartering one of the most wasteful uses of fossil-based fuels imaginable, a private jet.' For David to fly in a private jet from Los Angeles to Washington would burn about as much petroleum as driving a Hummer for a year; if she flew back in the private jet, that's two Hummer-years. Gore's movie takes shots at Republicans and the oil industry, but by the most amazing coincidence says nothing about the poor example set by conspicuous consumers among the Hollywood elite. Broadly, An Inconvenient Truth denounces consumerism, yet asks of its audience no specific sacrifice. 'What I look for is signs we are really changing our way of life, and I don't see it,' Gore intones with his signature sigh. As he says this, we see him at an airport checking in to board a jet, where he whips out his laptop. If 'really changing our way of life' is imperative, what's Gore doing getting on a jetliner? Jets number among the most resource-intensive objects in the world."
- Gregg Easterbrook: Ask Mr. Science - The moral flaws of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth -
 
"Jesus and Mary, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
- Idiot's Guide to The Da Vinci Code -
 
    "In an unprecedented action, representatives for thousands of U.S. Environmental Protection Agency scientists are publicly objecting to imminent agency approval for a score of powerful, controversial pesticides, according to a letter released today by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER). The scientists cite 'compelling evidence' which EPA leadership is choosing to ignore that these 'pesticides damage the developing nervous systems of fetuses, infants and children.'
    "On August 3, 2006, EPA faces a deadline for issuing final tolerance approval for 20 organophosphate and carbamate pesticides. In a letter dated May 24, 2006, leaders of three unions (American Federation of Government Employees, National Treasury Employees Union and Engineers and Scientists of California) representing 9,000 scientists, risk managers and other specialists asked EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson to either adopt maximum exposure protections for these agents or take them off the market.
    "Organophosphates, derived from World War II-era nerve agents, are banned in England, Sweden and Denmark. In the 1990s the National Academies of Science criticized EPAs regulation of these pesticides. The Clinton administration began moves to ban the agents but the Bush administration changed course. In the past few months, the Bush administration approach has been faulted by both EPAs own Scientific Advisory Panel and its Office of Inspector General."
- EPA scientists say agency is 'besieged' by pesticide interests -
 
    "We've heard a lot of rhetoric from the Bush Administration about staying the course in Iraq. About how it is America's responsibility to stay as long as it takes to ensure that Iraq becomes a stable democracy. Those who've opposed this position - whether they have advocated an immediate withdrawal, a staged departure, or simply the preparation of a transition plan - have been branded as dolts, as advocates of a cut and run philosophy. What's gotten little notice is that in Afghanistan the Administration is pursuing the very same cut and run policies that the accuse others of espousing in Iraq.
    "If you haven't been paying attention to Afghanistan, you're not alone. It hasn't been in the news. For good reason, as things aren't going well there. The Taliban has regained control of much of the territory they lost once the US forces arrived in 2001, particularly in the South and East. The Taliban has been conducting a guerrilla campaign of civil terror and it's succeeding...
    "What went wrong? The simple answer is everything that the President has tried. As has glaringly proven to be the case in Iraq, the Bush Administration never had a plan for Afghanistan and, therefore, never dealt with the systemic problems.
    "The most obvious problem has been that the US lost its focus on Al Qaeda. We didn't apprehend Osama bin Laden and the other leaders, and we didn't eradicate the remnants of Al Qaeda and their Taliban supporters. Now the Taliban, supported by Al Qaeda, is staging a dramatic comeback. In 2005 they killed around 1600 people, with a dramatic rise in the deaths of US troops, 91."
- Bob Burnett: Bush Prepares to Cut and Run in Afghanistan -
 
    "Iran offered in 2003 to accept peace with Israel and to cut off material assistance to Palestinian armed groups and pressure them to halt terrorist attacks within Israel's 1967 borders, according to the secret Iranian proposal to the United States. The two-page proposal for a broad Iran-U.S. agreement covering all the issues separating the two countries, a copy of which was obtained by IPS, was conveyed to the United States in late April or early May 2003. Trita Parsi, a specialist on Iranian foreign policy at Johns Hopkins University School of Advanced International Studies who provided the document to IPS, says he got it from an Iranian official earlier this year but is not at liberty to reveal the source.
    "The two-page document contradicts the official line of the George W. Bush administration that Iran is committed to the destruction of Israel and the sponsorship of terrorism in the region.
    "Parsi says the document is a summary of an even more detailed Iranian negotiating proposal which he learned about in 2003 from the U.S. intermediary who carried it to the State Department on behalf of the Swiss Embassy in late April or early May 2003. The intermediary has not yet agreed to be identified, according to Parsi.
    "The Iranian negotiating proposal indicated clearly that Iran was prepared to give up its role as a supporter of armed groups in the region in return for a larger bargain with the United States. What the Iranians wanted in return, as suggested by the document itself as well as expert observers of Iranian policy, was an end to U.S. hostility and recognition of Iran as a legitimate power in the region."
 
    "Despite half a decade of sentencing reform efforts, America's jail and prison population is increasing at a rate of more than a thousand per week, according to the latest annual report by the Justice Department's Bureau of Justice Statistics. The total number of people behind bars in the US at the end of last June was 2,186,230, up more than 56,000 over the previous year. Once again, the US retains its title as the world's most prison-crazy nation, holding onto first place in both prisoners per capita and total number of people imprisoned.
    "In 1980, before the Reagan-era wars on crime and drugs took off, the total jail and prison population was 540,000, or about one-quarter the size it is today. Drug offenders accounted for a measly 6% of all prisoners, compared to nearly one-quarter today. By 1989, the Reagan revolution - with the aide of a Democratically-controlled Congress - had doubled the inmate population to a million, and made the turn of the century, the figure had doubled again to two million -- all in an era of declining crime rates.
    "Of those imprisoned in the US, about two-thirds (1.44 million) were in prison and one-third (748,000) were being held in jails. But most of the increase in the past year was in the jail population, which jumped by more than 33,000 inmates, the biggest increase since 1997. Of the jail inmates, 62% had not been convicted of a crime but were only awaiting trial."
 
    "When a lute is played, there is no previous store of playing that it comes from. When the music stops, it does not go anywhere else. It came into existence by way of the structure of the lute and the playing of the performer. When the playing ceases, the music goes out of existence.
    "In the same way all the components of being, both material and nonmaterial, come into existence, play their part, and pass away."
- Visuddhi Magga -
 
"Essentially, this administration is bypassing the judiciary and deciding for itself whether laws are constitutional or not. Somehow, I don't see the new Supreme Court lineup having much of a problem with that, though. So no matter what laws congress passes, Bush will simply choose to ignore the ones he doesn't care for. It's much quieter than a veto, and can't be overridden by a two-thirds majority. It's also totally absurd."
 
    "Heroin doesn't hook people; rather, people hook heroin. It is quite untrue that withdrawal from heroin or other opiates is a serious business, so serious that it would justify or at least mitigate the commission of crimes such as mugging. Withdrawal effects from opiates are trivial, medically speaking (unlike those from alcohol, barbiturates or even, on occasion, benzodiazepines such as valium), and experiment demonstrates that they are largely, though not entirely, psychological in origin. Lurid descriptions in books and depictions in films exaggerate them la De Quincey (and also Coleridge, who was a chronic self-dramatizer).
    "I have witnessed thousands of addicts withdraw; and, notwithstanding the histrionic displays of suffering, provoked by the presence of someone in a position to prescribe substitute opiates, and which cease when that person is no longer present, I have never had any reason to fear for their safety from the effects of withdrawal. It is well known that addicts present themselves differently according to whether they are speaking to doctors or fellow addicts. In front of doctors, they will emphasize their suffering; but among themselves, they will talk about where to get the best and cheapest heroin.
    "When, unbeknown to them, I have observed addicts before they entered my office, they were cheerful; in my office, they doubled up in pain and claimed never to have experienced suffering like it, threatening suicide unless I gave them what they wanted. When refused, they often turned abusive, but a few laughed and confessed that it had been worth a try. Somehow, doctors - most of whom have had similar experiences never draw the appropriate conclusion from all of this. Insofar as there is a causative relation between criminality and opiate addiction, it is more likely that a criminal tendency causes addiction than that addiction causes criminality."
- Theodore Dalrymple: Poppycock -
 
    "It is depressing to watch ignorance kill, inflict pain and maim - even more so when misinformation spread by the media continually propagates it.
    "Recently, for example, dozens of drug addicts have died due to a combination of a synthetic opioid drug called fentanyl and heroin. The media has generally covered this story as though it is another example of the 'epidemic' of prescription drug abuse - implying that the fentanyl the addicts are consuming must have come from prescription fentanyl.
    "Many stories have also avoided mentioning that there is an easy, safe way to prevent the vast majority of these deaths.
    "The first bit of misinformation is the false connection with prescription drug misuse. Prescription fentanyl is a liquid contained in patches and lolly-pop like applicators - and heroin is sold as powder. Dealers are not going to waste their time breaking down single-use patches and lollies - which can be sold for exorbitant prices without the extra labor and extra risk of detection and chemical processing - to combine it with heroin. It is not economically sensible.
    "What's actually happening is something that we've seen on the street before - synthetic fentanyl, manufactured illegally, is being mixed with heroin, either high up the dealing chain or by addicts who like to mix and match when they inject. And, because fentanyl is 80-100 times stronger than heroin, if the drug is not 'cut' very carefully during manufacture, some people are going to get overdoses, while others get batches that produce no high at all. Also, if fentanyl is manufactured improperly, the drug produced may induce irreversible Parkinson's disease.
    "The claims that the fentanyl comes from legitimate pharmaceuticals feed into the misguided notion that over-prescribing of pain medication is producing increased addiction and death. In fact, however, the vast majority of prescription drug abusers do not become addicted because they are exposed to pain medication by doctors -- some 90% of Oxycontin misusers, for example, also take cocaine. Unless you want to believe that pain patients are becoming so enamored of drug use after their exposure to Oxy that they go out and find cocaine dealers, the more likely explanation is that they were drug abusers first, not pain patients hooked by evil doctors. What actual pain patients report is that getting enough medication to bring relief has become increasingly difficult - because doctors are so afraid of being arrested due to the panic over prescription drug misuse!...
    "Also of note along these lines: keep your eyes on the coverage of the marijuana/lung cancer story. Note how hard it is for people to believe that marijuana doesn't cause lung cancer - even though there's been data suggesting this is true for years. One important reason - as the media tend not to explain - is that the dose makes the poison. Even the heaviest marijuana smokers rarely smoke 20 joints a day for 20 years - but it's this level of use or higher that kills half of all smokers (and still, most die of heart disease, not lung cancer). The cigarette smoking/lung cancer correlation was one of the most obvious in medical history - the fact that a marijuana/lung cancer correlation couldn't be found earlier suggests that it's unlikely one will be. But just watch how the media looks for ways to make marijuana appear dangerous in its coverage of these stories, even as each particular danger gets debunked."
 
    "I couldn't believe my ears, so I asked my Israeli companions to translate, in case I was completely miscomprehending (my Hebrew isn't great), but they confirmed it. I was watching a show about life in Israeli prisons, and it eventually reached a segment about a wing of an Israeli prison where they incarcerate Arab women who planned suicide murder bombings, but were caught before they could do so.
    "So what does Israel do with these women? Lock them up and throw away the key? Torture them? Even as a supporter of Israel, I wouldn't have been surprised by either of the above, given what I read about Israel in the English-language media.
    "In fact, however, the segment was about how many of these women were having children, who were being raised in the prison. These women were not pregnant when they were caught. How did they get pregnant? Abusive rape by prison guards? Nope. Israel allows them conjugal visits. The segment showed decked-out cribs awaiting new prisoners' babies, and also had interviews with some of the women, who proclaimed that they were sorry they didn't get to murder any Jews and that they planned to raise their children to be suicide murderers."

    "The concept of 'undocumented' pertaining to a human being is one that I find profoundly disturbing...
    "We must always be able to show the officials who our owners are so that they will treat us with whatever level of respect those 'owners' are able to command. It is not we, as individuals, who are treated with respect - it is our owners. It appears that superficially things have changed, but on a deeper level the reality of 'divine right of kings' and such nonsense still rules the day, just below the false facade of freedom and individual rights that are bandied about by those of us (all of us?) who do not take the time to really comprehend the meaning of these words...
    "We as human beings do not believe that individuals are individuals. We are tribe animals and only see the tribe. A human being must show credentials almost everywhere and to almost everyone to be accorded simple human dignity, or what we describe as simple human dignity. It didn't used to be this bad, I don't think. Or maybe I'm just fantasizing a world that never was. We have always judged people on their color, or race, of course, but now it appears that we are judging them on their paperwork, which is even farther removed from who they are. Those who are the most willing to be pawns of tribal rituals will accrue the best sets of papers. Those with the character to be individuals will suffer the invisibility of shunning..."
    "Martin Luther King, Jr. said it so well when he spoke of judging people on the content of their characters, not the color of their skin. How is it that we have 'progressed' to where we are judging people by the color of their paperwork, not even their skin?
    "Globalization has probably been a big factor in this. Where we used to deal mostly with people we knew, or were somewhat familiar with, now we deal with strangers more often than we do with people we have a personal history with. In trying to cope with this large amount of unknowns in our world, we seek out some form of certification on which to pass judgment. I can understand the need for a sense of context in which to operate our lives, yet this devolvement from personal knowledge down to simply looking for a piece of paper seems to be a belief in a false god. Unless we actually know and agree with the sentiments of the person who signed off on that piece of paper, we are basing our trust and acceptance of the person in front of us on a fiction. The piece of paper is giving us a false sense of security. A sense that we have some knowledge about this person that we didn't have before we saw this piece of paper. But we DON'T.
    "It is time to stop acting like a number, and the first step is to understand how important it is to see others as individual human beings. We are not numbers. Only we as individuals can make this real. If we walk like numbers, quack like numbers, chances are we ARE numbers.
    "Consider that you go by the name Gwendolyn. If someone calls you Sally, and you respond to that, then, for that person, you are Sally. When we accept someone else's definition of who we are, it is not they who have defined us, it is we who have done it to ourselves. If someone assigns a number to you, even if they tattoo it on your arm, you are not that number until and unless you acknowledge that it represents you. Someone else's definition of me is just that, their definition.
    "Are you a citizen? One can be sovereign, or one can be a citizen. One cannot be both.
    "Slavery still exists. We've changed the name to protect the guilty.
    "'Your Papers!' If you are one who demands them, shame on you.
- NonEntity: Are You a Submitizen? -
 
"Only the defeated and deserters go to the wars, cowards that run away and enlist."
- Henry David Thoreau -
 
"Wherever there's a fight, so decent men can live, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beating up some war protester, I'll be there. Wherever a soldier 'humping the boonies,' refusing to be crushed by the overwhelming corrupt and heartless power of the state, refusing to brutalize foreigners for no good reason, I'll be there...
    "No, I don't think patriotism is blind support of a regime. To me, that is the definition of cowardice. Nor will I support troops with ribbons on my car, (neither of which I own). I will, however, support that sense of justice and courage in any troop that makes the best of a bad situation, a hundred different ways on a thousand different days.
    "Whenever a soldier refuses to pull the trigger or drop a bomb on people who never did him any wrong, hell have my support, and the support of millions of other unknown soldiers from every country in the world throughout history, who refused to slay the innocent and instead faced evil squarely and bravely."
- Douglas Herman: These Are the Troops I Support -
 
    "Don't kid yourself. If you think the conviction of Ken Lay means that George Bush is serious about going after corporate bad guys, think again.
    "First, Lay got away with murder - or at least grand larceny. Like Al Capone convicted of failing to file his taxes, Ken Lay, though found guilty of stock fraud, is totally off the hook for his BIG crime: taking down California and Texas consumers for billions through fraud on the power markets.
    "Lay, co-convict Jeff Skilling and Enron did not act alone. They connived with half a dozen other power companies and a dozen investment banks to manipulate both the stock market and the electricity market. And though their co-conspirators have now paid $3 billion to settle civil claims, the executives of these other corporations and banks get a walk on criminal charges.
    "Furthermore, to protect our President's boardroom buddies from any further discomforts, the Bush Justice Department, just days ago, indicted Milberg, Weiss, the law firm that nailed Enron's finance industry partners-in-crime. The timing of the bust of this, the top corporation-battling law firm, smacks of political prosecution - and a signal to Big Business that it's business as usual.
    "Lay and Skilling have to pay up their ill-gotten gains to Enron's stockholders, but what about the $9-plus billion owe electricity consumers? The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, Bush's electricity cops, have slapped Enron and its gang of power pirates on the wrist. Could that have something to do with the fact that Ken Lay, in secret chats with Dick Cheney, selected the Commission's chairmen?
    "Team Bush had to throw the public a bone - so they threw us Lay and Skilling - for the crime, note, not of ripping off the public, but ripping off stockholders, the owner class."
- Greg Palast: Lay Convicted, Bush Walks (and Ahnold Gets Lay'd) -
 
    "Many thinkers have suspected there is a fine line between logic and madness. The Spanish artist Salvador Dali saw that line as virtually nonexistent: to him, the two were sides of the same coin, to be fused into a glorious unity in each artwork.
    "Now, scientists say they have found that the link between insanity and rationality may be more than a fanciful notion.
    "In some situations - limited ones - they have found that schizophrenics have a reasoning advantage over normal people, stemming from their very lack of what we typically call common sense."
- Studies find logic lurking in madness -
 
    "Bananas could disappear, U.N. officials are warning. Humans are wiping out more and more varieties of the fruit, they say, and those remaining are vulnerable to epidemic diseases.
    "Officials of the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization said the central problem is that forest destruction is killing off wild bananas in India, the world's premier producer.
    "Among the victims are the ancestors of the Cavendish variety, the large, pulpy dessert banana that currently accounts for virtually all of world trade. This amounts to nearly 20 million tons yearly."
- Bananas could die out, group warns -
 
    "For generations, Republicans were strong supporters of the American military. But now that top military men are in open rebellion against the armchair civilian war hawks, the hard-line pro-Israel ideologues who directed President George Bush to order an invasion of Iraq and who now want war on Iran, the angriest voices condemning the military are from GOP circles.
    "Following the lead of the neo-conservatives, who are viewed as fanatics but still dominate the Bush administration and key GOP policy groups, many GOP loyalists are declaring war on the battle-tested generals, admirals and other military heroes who are saying, Enough is enough.
    "Although none of the military men have yet said 'No more wars for Israel,' their rhetoric in writings and public utterances says essentially that."
- Michael Piper: MILITARY LEADERS MUTINYING - Military Men Who Oppose Neo-Con Warmongering Under Attack -
 
    "Ronnie Cummins, founder of the Organic Consumers Association, warns that conscientious consumers may have to start looking beyond labels. In an interview with Satya, Cummins explains that corporations are 'degrading organic standards [and] bending the rules' to turn a profit.
    "As an example, Cummins points to Silk, the leading seller of soy milk. Owned by Dean Foods, a $10 billion food conglomerate, Silk is part of a larger trend among corporate organic food sellers outsourcing their farming to China. That means burning tons of fossil fuels to bring 'eco-friendly' products to your local co-op. Plus, some complain that organic food standards are more lax in China. What's more, according to Cummins, Chinese workers are being paid 'slave labor' wages by ostensibly socially responsible companies. Corporate organic food producers may tout their green credentials, but consumers are often duped into contributing to a system of worker exploitation and environmental degradation."
- Bennett Gordon: Recipes for Change - Some foods could change the world, but to find them, look beyond the label -
 
    "A story authored by a prominent U.S. neo-conservative regarding new legislation in Iran allegedly requiring Jews and other religious minorities to wear distinctive colour badges circulated around the world this weekend before it was exposed as false.
    "The article by a frequent contributor to the Wall Street Journal, Iranian-American Amir Taheri, was initially published in Friday's edition of Canada's National Post, which ran alongside the story a 1935 photograph of a Jewish businessman in Berlin with a yellow, six-pointed star sewn on his overcoat, as required by Nazi legislation at the time. The Post subsequently issued a retraction.
    "Taheri's story, however, was reprinted by the New York Post, which is owned by media baron Rupert Murdoch, and picked up by the Jerusalem Post, which also featured a photo of a yellow star from the Nazi era over a photo of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
    "Another neo-conservative publication, the New York Sun, also noted the story Monday, claiming that the specific report that special badges were required by the legislation had been 'incorrect'. At the same time, however, the Sun quoted two Iranian-American foes of the Islamic Republic as suggesting that dress requirements for religious minorities were still being considered by Iran's ruling circles. It offered no evidence to support that assertion."
- Jim Lobe: Iran Target of Apparent Disinformation Ploy -
 
    "Every morning the streets of Baghdad are littered with dozens of bodies, bruised, torn, mutilated, executed only because they are Sunni or because they are Shiite. Power drills are an especially popular torture device.
    "I have spent nearly two of the three years since Baghdad fell in Iraq. On my last trip, a few weeks back, I flew out of the city overcome with fatalism. Over the course of six weeks, I worked with three different drivers; at various times each had to take a day off because a neighbor or relative had been killed. One morning 14 bodies were found, all with ID cards in their front pockets, all called Omar. Omar is a Sunni name. In Baghdad these days, nobody is more insecure than men called Omar. On another day a group of bodies was found with hands folded on their abdomens, right hand over left, the way Sunnis pray. It was a message. These days many Sunnis are obtaining false papers with neutral names. Sunni militias are retaliating, stopping buses and demanding the jinsiya, or ID cards, of all passengers. Individuals belonging to Shiite tribes are executed.
    "Under the reign of Saddam Hussein, dissidents called Iraq 'the republic of fear' and hoped it would end when Hussein was toppled. But the war, it turns out, has spread the fear democratically. Now the terror is not merely from the regime, or from U.S. troops, but from everybody, everywhere.
    "At first, the dominant presence of the U.S. military - with its towering vehicles rumbling through Baghdad's streets and its soldiers like giants with their vests and helmets and weapons - seemed overwhelming. The Occupation could be felt at all times. Now in Baghdad, you can go days without seeing American soldiers. Instead, it feels as if Iraqis are occupying Iraq, their masked militiamen blasting through traffic in anonymous security vehicles, shooting into the air, angrily shouting orders on loudspeakers, pointing their Kalashnikovs at passersby.
    "Today, the Americans are just one more militia lost in the anarchy. They, too, are killing Iraqis."
- Nir Rosen: Iraq Is the Republic of Fear -
 
    "Republican extremist/hate-monger, Ann Coulter may be on the verge of being tossed from the Voter Rolls in Palm Beach County, Florida.
    "The BRAD BLOG has also obtained exclusive official documents from the chain of events which has helped bring the GOP darling to a new place in her career: She has fallen completely silent.
    "Coulter, who appears to have committed a third-degree felony by knowingly giving an incorrect address on her voter registration form in Palm Beach, Florida, and then knowingly voting at the incorrect polling place last March, could face up to $5,000 in fines and five years in prison if convicted."
- The Brad Blog: ANN COULTER VOTER FRAUD: A First! Coulter Goes Silent! May Be Thrown Off Voter Rolls! -
 
    "The Center for Science and Culture is housed within the Discovery Institute, which is a conservative think tank in Seattle. Its funded in part by Howard Ahmanson, who actually is a Christian reconstructionist. We said before that most people weren't, but he actually is a pretty forthright theocrat. And the Center for Science and Culture takes creationism and tries to legitimize it in scientific terms, and make it sound as if its really just a competing scientific theory. It hires people with a lot of impressive degrees, although, in many cases, they got the degrees specifically with the idea of using them to discredit Darwinism for religious reasons. It'll put someone forward like Jonathan Wells, who has a Ph.D. from Berkeley, and yet here he is, defending intelligent design. So they've given a lot of thought to packaging intelligent design to make it seem like legitimate science. And they've given a lot of thought to how to try to infiltrate their ideas into the culture.
    "One of the most interesting and clearest statements of their intentions comes from a leaked document called 'The Wedge Strategy.' Its a 1999 fund-raising proposal that shows very, very clearly that they want to use intelligent design as a way to replace the foundations of modern Western thought. They say they want to do away with 'the materialistic conception of reality.' That would be replaced with a supernatural conception of reality. In the scientific method, you observe things. You test things. You build on knowledge. When something is discredited, you move on. You find other hypotheses. This is how most of us understand reality. It's why, when people found dinosaur bones or discovered carbon dating, they said, oh, the Biblical account must be wrong. Or at least it must be symbolic or metaphorical. It's clearly not scientifically correct.
    "What they would essentially say is that you have to start with the Biblical account as the foundation of truth, and if you find something in the world that contradicts that, then there's something wrong with your findings basically. You're either seeing it wrong, or you're interpreting it wrong. Basically, how do you know what truth is? You have to start with the word of God. This would mean a huge revolution in the very structure of our thought and our society."
- Michelle Goldberg: A Buzzflash Interview -
 
"A growing disconnect exists between the daily reality of war experienced by the common Afghan and how this war is represented to the American general public by the corporate media, many non-governmental organizations favoring 'humanitarian interventions' around the globe (e.g., Human Rights Watch), and the U.S. military and its defense minions. The war in Afghanistan as most other wars beginning with Vietnam is waged both on the ground there and in the living rooms here. The recent midnight assault upon the small village of Hajiyan (also called Alizi) along the Arghandab River in Panjwayi District of Kandahar Province provides a case study to explore this disconnect. No doubt many similar cases exist, but the U.S. military media strategy to contain, isolate and stonewall succeeded there."
- Marc W. Herold: Spinning out of control - The U.S. Military's Virtual Reality about a deadly day in May -
 
    "The largest study of its kind has unexpectedly concluded that smoking marijuana, even regularly and heavily, does not lead to lung cancer.
    "The new findings 'were against our expectations,' said Dr. Donald Tashkin, a UCLA pulmonologist who has studied marijuana for 30 years.
    "'We hypothesized that there would be a positive association between marijuana use and lung cancer and that the association would be more positive with heavier use,' he said. 'What we found instead was no association at all, and even a suggestion of some protective effect.'"

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
- Oscar Wilde -

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is."
- Chuck Reid -
 
"There's a seeker born every minute."
- Firesign Theatre -

 
 
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Acknowledgment

dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form, preferably parchment. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.

Thanks,
 
Stan Dandyliver
 
http://www.disinfotainmenttoday.com
 
Absolutely no worlds ended during the production of this column.
 
 

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'Best of TBH Politoons'

Click Here!



Thanks, again, Tim!

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Update From Colby

Katherine Harris

Hi,

Katherine claims she is being shunned by Republicans because she wouldn't "kowtow" to the Party.

However, her record shows she voted with the Republican Party 96% of the time!

Katherine Harris: Beholden to the Public or Rubber Stamp Republican?


Colby B
in Frostproof


Thanks, Colby!

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THEY PRACTICE ALL DAY

IN THE SWELTERING MIRRORS

FOUR WILTING DANCERS


zEN mAN
(observing the amazing arching pre plie!)

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Recommended Reading

from Bruce

Tom Engelhardt: A Guided Tour of Class War (Tomdispatch.com. Posted on Alternet.org)
In this in-depth interview, Barbara Ehrenreich reveals how the class war rages on, and why middle-class Americans are so worried.


The ideas interview: R Preston McAfee (guardian.co.uk)
The economist tells John Sutherland why we owe it to ourselves - and society - to be better bargain hunters


Brian J. Rogal: Bankruptcy Law in Shambles (inthesetimes.com)
What happens when the credit card industry writes congressional legislation? According to the judges who have to enforce it, anarchy
"Unquestionably, this is the most poorly written piece of legislation that I or anyone else has ever seen," says U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Keith M. Lundin, who has overseen cases in Tennessee since 1977. "No one has ever seen a piece of garbage like this," he adds. "There's going to be the most fantastic anarchy in bankruptcy courts for years."


PAUL KRUGMAN: Shameless in the Senate (The New York Times)
The Senate almost voted to repeal the estate tax last fall, but Republican leaders postponed the vote after Hurricane Katrina. It's easy to see why: the public might have made the connection between scenes of Americans abandoned in the Superdome and scenes of well-heeled senators voting huge tax breaks for their even wealthier campaign contributors.


Good Lives: The people making a difference (guardian.co.uk)
Who: Dave Currey
What: Undercover environmental investigator
Where: Everywhere


Richard Roeper: Resisting the urge to sink to Pat Robertson's level (suntimes.com)
If you were a cruel soul, you might say the crash was God's way of punishing those pilots for operating a plane owned by a man of God who is also a man of intolerance. This was God telling Pat Robertson not to act as judge and jury of other human beings.


Stephen Colbert: Stephen Colbert's Address to the Graduates (AlterNet.org)
'Outsourcing is so easy that I had this speech today written by a young man named Panjeeb from Bangalore.'


David Bruce: Wise Up! Education (athensnews.com)
Gov. Wang once questioned the teaching methods of Zen master Rinzai. Gov. Wang asked if the monks read sutras. Rinzai said they did not. Gov. Wang asked if the monks learned meditation. Rinzai said they did not. Gov. Wang then asked, "If they don't read sutras or learn meditation, what are on earth are they doing here?" Rinzai replied, "All I do is make them become Buddhas and Bodhisattvas."


New Yorker Cartoon Bank


Charles Nolan

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Subscribe to BartCop!

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Selected Readings

from that Mad Cat, JD

A REPUG TRAIN WRECK

THE REAL THREAT TO MARRIAGE

GET A LIFE CHRISTIANS. THE BEAST IS ALREADY IN THE WHITE HOUSE

BE CAREFUL ON ELECTION DAY

FLAG BURNING IS CAUSING GLOBAL WARMING!

THIS SLUT IS LOSING IT! HEE HAW

BUSH BLINKS

"ROBOTS SPOUTING NONSENSE"

ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS IS GONE

OH BEAUTIFUL FOR SPECIOUS LIES

HIDE THE NAZI

WHAT BUSH AND TERRORISTS HAVE IN COMMON

TBW ADDICTION

ONE MAN ONE PONY

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Ark Of Darkness

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In The Chaos Household

Last Night

Lovely overcast day - sun never broke through.


No new flags.


Tonight, Wednesday:

CBS starts the night with a FRESH 'Gameshow Marathon', followed by a RERUN 'Criminal Minds', then a RERUN 'CSI: The 2nd One'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Kyra Sedgwick and Al Franken.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craig are Ian McShane, Joey Lauren Adams, and Stanley Bing.

NBC opens the night with a 2-hour 'Dateline', followed by a RERUN 'Law & Order'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are Adam Sandler, Rosie Perez, and John Fogerty.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Luke Perry, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, and Van Hunt.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Vince Vaughn and Juliette & the Licks.

ABC begins the night with a RERUN 'George Lopez', followed by a RERUN 'Freddie', then a RERUN 'Lost', followed by a FRESH 'Commander In Chief'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Jessica Alba, Larry the Cable Guy, and Him.

The WB offers a FRESH 'Blue Collar TV', followed by a RERUN 'Blue Collar TV', then a RERUN 'One Tree Hill'.

Faux has a RERUN 'Bones', followed by a FRESH 'So You Think You Can Dance'.

UPN fills the night with the movie 'Gang Of Roses'.

A&E has 'Serial Killer', 'Dog The Bounty Hunter', another 'Dog The Bounty Hunter', 'Inked', another 'Inked', 'Criss Angel', followed by another 'Criss Angel'.

AMC offers the movie 'Twins', followed by the movie 'The Sting', then the movie 'The Long Hot Summer'.

BBC  -   
 [2:00 pm]    'As Time Goes By' - Episode 7;
 [2:40 pm]    'Are You Being Served' - Forward Mr. Grainger;
 [3:20 pm]    'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 10;
 [4:00 pm]    'My Hero' - Episode 3;
 [4:40 pm]    'My Family' - Auto Erotica;
 [5:20 pm]    'My Family' - Handful of Dust;
 [6:00 pm]    'BBC World News';
 [6:30 pm]    'Cash in the Attic' - Gill Last;
 [7:00 pm]    'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 34;
 [8:00 pm]    'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' - Episode 9;
 [8:30 pm]    'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' - Episode 7;
 [9:00 pm]    'Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares' - Ep 1 Lanterna;
 [10:00 pm]    'Bad Lads Army' - Episode 2;
 [11:00 pm]    'The Catherine Tate Show' - Episode 4;
 [11:40 pm]    'Coupling' - Flushed;
 [12:20 am]    'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 13;
 [1:00 am]    'Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares' - Ep 1 Lanterna;
 [2:00 am]    'Bad Lads Army' - Episode 2;
 [3:00 am]    'Take Me' - Episode 1;
 [4:00 am]    'Take Me' - Episode 2;
 [5:00 am]    'Take Me' - Episode 3;
 [6:00 am]    'BBC World News'.    (ALL TIMES EDT)

Bravo has an old 'Celebrity Poker Showdown', followed by a FRESH 'Celebrity Poker Show Down'.

Comedy Central has the movie 'Police Academny', last night's 'Jon Stewart', last night's 'Colbert Report', 'Mind Of Mencia', 'South Park', another 'South Park', and the SERIES PREMIERE 'Dog Bites Man'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Bonnie Hunt.
Scheduled on a FRESH Colbert Report is Steve Squyres.

History has all 'Modern Marvels' all night.

IFC  -   
 [6:00 AM]    Hoop Dreams;
 [9:00 AM]    The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down A Mountain;
 [10:45 AM]    Digging to China;
 [12:30 PM]    Get Bruce!;
 [1:45 PM]    IFC Short Film Collection I: June;
 [3:45 PM]    June Media Lab Results;
 [4:15 PM]    The Road Home;
 [5:45 PM]    Get Bruce!;
 [7:00 PM]    IFC In Theaters;
 [7:15 PM]    The Quiet American;
 [9:00 PM]    Waking Life;
 [10:45 PM]    IFC In Theaters;
 [11:00 PM]    Fall Time;
 [12:35 AM]    At The IFC Center #14;
 [1:00 AM]    Waking Life;
 [2:45 AM]    Short: Twenty Minutes of Immortality;
 [3:00 AM]    Fall Time;
 [4:45 AM]    Indie Sex: Taboos;
 [5:45 AM]    Short: Moment of Clarity.    (ALL TIMES EDT)

SciFi has 'Ripley's Believe It Or Not!', 'Ghost Hunters', and 'Spooked: The Ghosts Of Waverly Hills Sanatorium'.

Sundance  -   
 [06:45 AM]    Theo & Thea (and the 7 Dwarfs);
 [08:35 AM]    The Gong Show Movie;
 [10:15 AM]    I Am Trying to Break Your Heart;
 [12:00 PM]    In Search of Gregory;
 [01:30 PM]    Resist. With the Living Theatre;
 [03:00 PM]    Sea Horses;
 [03:30 PM]    A Man's Gotta Do;
 [05:15 PM]    I Am Trying to Break Your Heart;
 [07:00 PM]    By Hook or By Crook;
 [08:45 PM]    Hung;
 [09:00 PM]    Kath & Kim: Gay;
 [09:30 PM]    Mother/Country;
 [10:00 PM]    Fearless Freaks;
 [11:45 PM]    Victoria Para Chino;
 [12:00 AM]    Intimacy;
 [02:00 AM]    City of Men: Episode 2: The Man's Brother-in-Law;
 [02:30 AM]    La Pagaille;
 [04:15 AM]    Little Death;
 [04:45 AM]    X2000;
 [05:30 AM]    Mother/Country.    (ALL TIMES EDT)

TCM features Anthony Quinn all night.
 [6:30 AM]    Smash-Up, the Story of a Woman (1947)     [View Trailer];
 [8:15 AM]    Ada (1961);
 [10:15 AM]    Ten Thousand Bedrooms (1957);
 [12:15 PM]    Bells Are Ringing (1960)     [View Trailer];
 [2:30 PM]    Some Came Running (1958)     [View Trailer];
 [5:00 PM]    Private Screenings: Anthony Quinn (1999);
 [6:00 PM]    Zorba The Greek (1964)  [AKA: 'Alexis Zorbas'];
 [8:30 PM]    La Strada (1954);
 [10:30 PM]    Lust For Life (1956);
 [12:45 AM]    Knockout (1941);
 [2:00 AM]    Bullets For O'Hara (1941);
 [3:00 AM]    They Died With Their Boots On (1941);

 [5:30 AM] Festival of Shorts #27 (2000).    (ALL TIMES EDT)


Thursday  -  06/08

TCM pays tribute to Alexis Smith who was born on this day in 1921.
 [6:15 AM]    She Couldn't Say No (1941);
 [7:30 AM]    The Smiling Ghost (1941);
 [8:45 AM]    Steel Against The Sky (1941);
 [10:00 AM]    The Doughgirls (1944);
 [11:45 AM]    The Decision of Christopher Blake (1948);
 [1:00 PM]    One Last Fling (1949);
 [2:30 PM]    Here Comes the Groom (1951);

 [4:30 PM]    MGM Parade Show #20 (1955);
 [5:00 PM]    Track of the Cat (1954);
 [7:00 PM]    Plunder of the Sun (1953);
 [8:30 PM]    The People Against O'Hara (1951);
 [10:15 PM]    Every Girl Should Be Married (1949);
 [11:45 PM]    The Lives Of A Bengal Lancer (1935)     [View Trailer];
 [1:45 AM]    Midnight Mary (1933);
 [3:00 AM]    Cartoon Alley #21 (2005);
 [3:30 AM]    For Me And My Gal (1942)     [View Trailer].    (ALL TIMES EDT)



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Host Jon Stewart (L) and director Martin Scorsese smile at the 65th Annual George Foster Peabody Awards ceremony in New York City June 5, 2006. Scorsese was one of the winners at the event, which honored 32 winners for excellence in electronic media for 2005.
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Moose & Squirrel - The Blog

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Senators Seek Answers In Probe

Jack Anderson

The Senate Judiciary Committee gave the Bush administration a new lashing Tuesday over its use of executive power, citing the FBI's posthumous probe of columnist Jack Anderson and questioning the notion that espionage laws might allow the prosecution of journalists who publish classified information.

The World War I-era espionage laws, countered Justice Department criminal division chief Matthew Friedrich, "do not exempt any class of professionals, including reporters, from their reach."

Friedrich refused to comment on the Anderson case, in which the FBI is seeking 50 years' worth of papers from the investigative journalist who exposed government scandals and earned a place on President Nixon's "enemies list."

Anderson's son Kevin, a lawyer, told the panel that he and his mother are prepared to face contempt charges if the FBI's effort to search the papers ever produces a subpoena or is upheld in court.

Jack Anderson

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Joining Cartoon Network's Adult Swim

'Pee-wee's Playhouse'

After being shuttered for more than 15 years, the doors to "Pee-wee's Playhouse" are being reopened. The Emmy Award-winning show will get new life on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim lineup, which will air all 45 original episodes beginning July 10, company officials announced Monday.

Paul Reubens, 53, created the bow-tie wearing Pee-wee Herman in 1978 as a member of the L.A.-based comedy troupe, the Groundlings. Known for his big laugh and small suit, Pee-wee gained worldwide fame in 1985 as the star of his own movie, "Pee-wee's Big Adventure," directed by Tim Burton.

'Pee-wee's Playhouse'

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Cecilia Marshall, widow of former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall, speaks of her late husband during the dedication of the BWI Airport name change to Baltimore-Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport Tuesday, June 6, 2006 at BWI Airport in Linthicum, Md.
Photo by Matt Houston
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Reaches Out to 9-11 Widows

Ann Coulter

A translucent Ann Coulter wobbled onto the Today show this morning to promote her new book, Godless: The Church of Liberalism, and it was, as expected, an incredible display of psycopathic screeching. Poor Matt Lauer hasn't endured this sort of teeth-gnashing since he got "glib" with Tom Cruise. Also, a memo to the Today show producers: 7:15 AM is a little early for you to start serving the bile-flavored hag juice.

And on a lighter note, Kathy Griffin's response: "Who wears a cocktail dress at 7 in the morning?!"

Defamer: Ann Coulter

***************


Comedian Kathy Griffin comments on Coulter's appearance on the TODAY Show.

(rough transcript)
Kathy: I'd like to go after Ann Coulter, I saw that nut-bag on the show earlier. What's she doing wearing a cocktail dress at seven in the morning. She got home from the party last night. Doesn't she just make stuff up Al? Who fact checks? You can't just let Ann Coulter...

Crooks & Liars - Kathy Griffin

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Returning For Seventh Season

'The Shield'

FX gave "The Shield" a new lease on life Monday, ordering a seventh and final season of the cop drama.

The fate of the critically acclaimed series was uncertain heading into the second half of its sixth season in early 2007. Now those 10 episodes will be followed up by a fresh batch of 13 episodes to air in late 2007 or early 2008.

The entire cast will return for the remaining 23 episodes, including Michael Chiklis, who plays the corrupt Detective Vic Mackey. Forest Whitaker, who joined the series this year, will return on a limited basis for the remainder of the sixth season.

The additional episode order will bring "The Shield" to 88 at the end of its run.

'The Shield'

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bartcook

In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends

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Screenwriters Honored

Humanitas Prize

The writers of "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe," "Crash" and "Glory Road" were among the finalists announced Monday for this year's Humanitas Prize.

The award, now in its 32nd year, honors film and TV writers whose work "honestly explores the complexities of the human experience and sheds light on the positive values of life."

In the feature film category, which bestows a $25,000 prize, the finalists are screenwriters Ann Peacock and Andrew Adamson and Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely for "Narnia"; Oscar winners Paul Haggis & Bobby Moresco for "Crash"; and Christopher Cleveland & Bettina Gilois for "Glory Road."

The prizes will be handed out June 28 during a luncheon at the Universal Hilton.

Humanitas Prize

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Bruce Springsteen performs at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles, Monday, June 5, 2006.
Photo by Chris Pizzello
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Baby News

Makani Ravello Harrelson

Woody Harrelson and his wife, Laura Louie, have welcomed a new addition to their all-female brood: another daughter.

"In this crazy patriarchal world we live in, we are doing our part to balance the energy. We are proud to announce the completion of our goddess trilogy with the birth of our third daughter, Makani Ravello," who was born Saturday, the Oscar-nominated actor ("The People vs. Larry Flynt") and Louie said in a statement Monday.

Makani Ravello Harrelson

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Baby News

Dylan Paul Conner

Nadia Comaneci and Bart Conner are the parents of a baby boy, and the early scouting report is in.

Dylan Paul was born Saturday, the first child for the gold-medal winning gymnasts.

"He's a few weeks early, so he's a little small - 4 pounds, 10 ounces - but he's just fantastic. He's awesome in fact. He's really cute," Conner said.

Dylan Paul Conner

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I'm Pissed
(formerly 'The Vidiot')

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Buys Elvis' Old House - Irks Uri

Mike Curb

The purchase of Elvis Presley's first post-success home has been all shook up. Celebrity psychic Uri Geller, who announced last month that he'd bought the home, now seems to have lost it.

Geller and two partners had been the high bidders, at $905,000, on the ranch-style home that was being auctioned on eBay.

But homeowner Cindy Hazen said Monday that they were unable to finalize the contract, so she and husband Mike Freeman sold the house Friday to Nashville record producer Mike Curb (R-Ewwwww) for $1 million.

"If I have to, I will take this to the Supreme Court. If I have to, I'll take this to the Pope," Geller told The Commercial Appeal newspaper by phone from his home outside London.

Mike Curb

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Musician Joe Cocker, arrives to the Jazz at Lincoln Center 5th Annual Spring Gala Setting New Standards at the Apollo theatre, Monday, June 5, 2006 in New York.
Photo by Dima Gavrysh
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Nude Photos Published

Heather Mills McCartney

Pornographic photos of Paul McCartney's estranged wife, Heather Mills, have surfaced in the British tabloid The Sun and on newspaper's website, www.thesun.co.uk. The photos were taken for a hardcore German book titled Die Freuden Der Liebe--The Joys Of Love in 1988, five years before the motorcycle accident in which Mills lost one of her legs.

The extremely explicit photographs reveal Mrs. McCartney posing nude, slathered with baby oil, as she engages in sexual acts with an unnamed male porn star. Other photos involve handcuffs and other bondage gear, strawberries and cream, and sex toys.

Heather Mills McCartney

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Ends Las Vegas Run

'Hairspray'

The musical "Hairspray" is ending its run at the Luxor hotel-casino after less than four months - the second Broadway hit to flop in Las Vegas in the past two months.

The producers told the cast and crew just before Monday night's performance that the show that began Feb. 15 would wrap up Sunday because of low ticket sales.

The musical - a cut down version of the original New York production - failed to regularly fill the Luxor's 1,500-seat theater.

'Hairspray'

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Artist and Turner Prize winner Grayson Perry (L) and wife Philippa attend the eleventh Orange Prize for Fiction ceremony at the Royal Courts of Justice in London June 6, 2006. British author Zadie Smith was awarded the prize for her book 'On Beauty'.
Photo by Luke MacGregor
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Property Dispute

Martha Reeves

City Councilwoman and former Motown star Martha Reeves has been a strong advocate of stricter housing code enforcement, but a newspaper says it discovered multiple violations at her own properties.

Inspectors found 25 code violations at one two-unit rental property, include two emergency infractions for lack of maintenance of fire doors, The Detroit News reported.

Ten of Reeves' 15 vacant lots are deep in overgrown weeds, grass and trees, the newspaper said, and three contained dumped electronic equipment, clothing, furniture and construction debris.

Reeves, 64, said she recently hired a new management company and that "improvements are forthcoming."

Martha Reeves

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Sues Over 'Bat Out Of Hell'

Meat Loaf

Veteran rocker Meat Loaf has sued songwriter Jim Steinman and manager David Sonenberg over trademark rights to "Bat Out of Hell," asking for more than $50 million.

Meat Loaf, whose real name is Michael Aday, claims that Steinman wrongfully registered the phrase as his trademark in 1995. Steinman wrote the title song and other compositions on Meat Loaf's 1977 "Bat Out of Hell" and 1993 "Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell" albums, which have cumulatively sold more than 50 million copies worldwide, according to the complaint. Meat Loaf claims he contributed lyrics to the song, which he recorded and performed.

The complaint, filed May 28 in federal District Court in Los Angeles, alleges that "out of nowhere," Steinman applied for a federal trademark registration but never objected to Meat Loaf using the phrase until a recent falling out.

Meat Loaf

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Anti-war demonstrators dressed up in caricature costumes of George Bush, Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice and Donald Rumsfeld stand in front of the White House in Washington Tuesday, June 6, 2006.
Photo by Gerald Herbert
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Scientology Goes NASCAR

Dianetics Race Car

"Ignite Your Potential" is the mantra Scientology uses to get Tom Cruise and other Hollywood celebs jumping up and down. Now that message will be used to fuel the engines of a new NASCAR race team.

The venture is called "The Dianetics Racing Team," named after the best-selling self-help book written by the movement's founder, science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard.

Kenton Gray, a California race-car driver who has said Dianetics helped his life and driving performance, will head up the Dianetics team.

Dianetics Race Car

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Tiffany Warner (center) of Warren, Mich., waits in line at Screams ice cream shop in Hell, Mich., Tuesday, June 6, 2006 , to celebrate the significance of the 6-06-06 date.
Photo by Tony Ding
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In Memory

Edward J. Yates

Edward J. Yates, who directed "American Bandstand" for 17 years, from a fledgling local TV show to a national institution that made Dick Clark a star, has died at age 87.

In October 1952, Yates volunteered to direct "Bandstand," a new show on Philadelphia's WFIL-TV. The show, featuring local teens dancing to the latest hits, debuted with Bob Horn as announcer and took off after Dick Clark, already a radio veteran at age 26, took over in 1956.

It was broadcast live in its early years, even after it became part of the ABC network's weekday afternoon lineup in 1957 as "American Bandstand." Yates pulled records, directed the cameras, queued the commercials and communicated with Clark.

In 1964, Clark moved the show to Los Angeles, taking Yates with him.

Yates retired from "American Bandstand" in 1969, and moved his family to West Chester in the Philadelphia suburbs.

Edward J. Yates

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In Memory

Billy Preston

Billy Preston, the exuberant keyboardist who landed dream gigs with the Beatles and the Rolling Stones and enjoyed his own series of hit singles including "Outta Space" and "Nothing From Nothing," died Tuesday at 59.

Preston's longtime manager, Joyce Moore, said Preston had been in a coma since November in a care facility and was taken to a Scottsdale hospital Saturday after his condition deteriorated.

Preston had battled chronic kidney failure, and he received a kidney transplant in 2002. But the kidney failed and he has been on dialysis ever since, Moore said earlier this year.

Known for his big smile and towering Afro, Preston was a teen prodigy on the piano and organ, and lent his gospel-tinged touch to classics such as the Beatles' "Get Back" and the Stones' "Can't You Hear Me Knocking?"

A Houston native who soon moved to Los Angeles when his parents split up, Preston was in and around show business for much of his life. He was taking piano lessons at age 3 and was just 10 when he played keyboards for gospel singer Mahalia Jackson.

Two years later he portrayed a young W. C. Handy in the 1958 biopic "St. Louis Blues." He toured with mentors and fellow piano greats Ray Charles and Little Richard in the early 1960s, first encountering the Beatles while on the road in Germany.

Billy Preston

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In Memory

Hilton Ruiz

Jazz pianist and composer Hilton Ruiz, who came to New Orleans to work on a Hurricane Katrina benefit recording, died early Tuesday, his agent and manager said.

Ruiz, who turned 54 on May 29, had been comatose at East Jefferson General Hospital since he fell early May 19 in front of a French Quarter bar.

Ruiz, of Teaneck, N.J., has been described as one of the most versatile musicians in jazz, playing bop, Afro-Cuban, stride and many other styles.

Trained in classical music as well as jazz, Ruiz played at Carnegie Recital Hall when he was 8 years old. His teachers included jazz pianist and composer Mary Lou Williams; in his early 20s, he and Turre both worked with saxophone player Rahsaan Roland Kirk.

Hilton Ruiz

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Two squirrels frolic on a sidewalk in Alexandria, Va. Monday, June 5, 2006.
Photo by Gerald Herbert

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