BartCop Entertainment Archives - Wednesday, 20 April, 2005

Wednesday

20 April, 2005

big hammer - bigger hammer

(Updated Daily)

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Issue #148

Disinfotainment Today

By Michael Dare



Issue #148
is brought to you by

Easter

 
Going, Going, Gonzo
 
    Rereading a book that influenced you years ago is like revisiting the house you grew up in. Everything seems smaller. And so I approached re-reading Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas with fear and trepidation. I'd read it when it first came out in 1971 and haven't approached it since. This time it was very very different.
    In The Great Shark Hunt, Thompson describes Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas as "a failed experiment in Gonzo Journalism. True Gonzo reporting needs the talents of a master journalist, the eye of an artist/photographer and the heavy balls of an actor. Because the writer must be a participant in the scene, while he's writing it - or at least taping it, or even sketching it. Or all three. Probably the closest analogy to the ideal would be a film director/producer who writes his own scripts, does his own camera work and somehow manages to film himself in action, as the protagonist or at least a main character."
    So according to the man himself, the ultimate current Gonzo journalist is Michael Moore. What's a poor writer to do?
    In 1971 I was an actor and Broadway musical comedy composer without a thought in my head about journalism. I got my first journalistic assignment in 1981, ten years after reading F&L. I didn't know what I was doing, hadn't prepared myself in the slightest for a career writing for newspapers, and I needed a role model. The LA Weekly assigned me to review a movie. I came back with a piece where I stumbled into a crowded theater on Quaaludes and barfed on the shoes of the gentleman in front of me.
    I handed it in and a miracle happened. My editor, the ever patient Ginger Varney, didn't fire me on the spot. She simply said that a "film review" had to contain something about the picture, preferably what it's about, who's in it, and whether it's any good or not. Just put that in and I'd be fine.
    It was great advice. She wasn't asking me to subtract, she was asking me to add. If all I had to do in order to get my insanity published was include a few cinematic facts, so be it. "I stumbled into the turgid melodrama, barfing on a Chicano just as Meryl Streep was shouting something about a dingo taking her baby," is a sentence I can live with.
    And to that extent, I've got to agree that Thompson's early experiments are failures. He didn't have a Ginger Varney to tell him that it was fine, just fine, but please add just a few facts for the readers who are curious about the supposed subject of the piece.
    The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved, from Scanlan's Monthly in 1970, is a clear predecessor to Fear & Loathing, with illustrator Ralph Steadman as his partner in crime, filling in for the later Samoan attorney. It's just as good as F&L, but has to be the only piece about the Kentucky Derby ever published in a national magazine that never mentions how many horses are in the race or even the fact that they're ridden by jockeys, much less who they are or what they do. Thompson's entire concern is with getting as close to the high rollers as possible and pissing them off. I learned a hell of a lot about what a terror Thompson must have been to hang out with and absolutely nothing about the goddam Kentucky Derby, which is what the piece was ostensibly about.
    Same with F&L. The biggest surprise was discovering how very very VERY little there was about the story he was supposed to be covering, as though he couldn't be bothered, as though it was an inconvenience. The book is 10% the dirtbike race or narc convention and 90% the hilarious ravings of a madman whose behavior points to a very long jail term. Usually only those who are writing memoirs from prison, who have already been found guilty so it's pointless to deny, have the bravery to admit such lunacy. It turns out the most important thing he did wasn't so much stylistic as the simple fact that he had the balls to admit to such bad behavior. The book is full of things which, if you did, you'd never tell anybody, much less your editor at a major magazine.
    By my standards in 1971, that was perfectly fine. By my standards now, I want a bit more facts thrown into the stew. I want a bit more historical perspective, a few more actual quotes with a dab of imaginary quotes, hard facts osterized with total flights of fancy, something a bit more, oh, I don't know, disinfotainmentlike.
    All those who say he reached his peak back then can go fuck themselves. Thompson got better as he went along, refining the concept of Gonzo to perfection. Nothing is more thrilling to read than Thompson full bore when he's actually tackling a subject he's passionate about other than himself, and his books keep getting better and better. His piece on the astronauts is as good as The Right Stuff, and if you haven't read Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail, you can fuck yourself too.
    His final book, Hey Rube, is a collection of "sports" columns from his ESPN days, and they are, unfortunately from my point of view, mainly about sports, about which I couldn't care less, so I found much of it terribly uninteresting. But he couldn't help himself. He kept straying from the subject. Anybody with a sports column who stuck to the subject of sports on 9/11/01 would have been pretty goddam insensitive, and his editors luckily allowed him to be himself.
    Hunter's last passion was the case of Lisl Auman. According to Hey Rube, "Lisl Auman, a 20-year old girl with no criminal record, was convicted of Felony Murder in Denver for a crime that occurred while she was handcuffed and chained in a Police car. She is the only person ever convicted in the history of Colorado for a murder committed while the defendant was in official police custody - and then she was sentenced to spend the rest of her life in state prison, without any possibility of Parole." Hunter would have been glad to find out Lisl's conviction was overturned on March 28.
    He went out at the top of his form. Here are some quotes from his last book...
 
    "Pearl Harbor was 60 years ago, before we had TV and computers to keep us totally informed. When half the U.S. Navy was destroyed by Japanese bombs, at least we knew who did it, where they lived, and that news was spread all over the world in a matter of minutes, with eyewitness accounts and photos of burning battleships.
    "What has gone wrong with our communication system since then? Why are we more ignorant and less informed today than we were in 1941?
    "That is an eerie question, eh?
    "You bet it is. If world War III can start in a vacuum of silence and stonewalling by the White House, we are doomed like rats in a maze of fear. We are slaves to mendacity and hostile disinformation. Bread and circuses were not enough to sustain the Roman Empire and they will not be enough for the United States of America."
 
    "We are living in dangerously weird times now. Smart people just shrug and admit they're dazed and confused. The only ones left with any confidence at all are the New Dumb. It is the beginning of the end of our world as we knew it. Doom is the operative ethic."
 
    "Gore will be remembered as the Hapless, worm-eaten Dunce who fumbled the White House away to a gang of sleazy Oilmongers from Texas who promised nothing for sure except a collapsing Market & heavy punishment for any degenerate fool who indulges in Oral Sex on U.S. government property. Al Gore defied all known Trends, Odds, & laws of Probability by running for President as co-architect of the greatest prosperity in American history & still losing."
 
    "The horrible reality of being suddenly stone broke and homeless is more than most people in this country can handle. They will literally seize up and go mad. Your everyday Nervous Breakdown is nothing compared to the hopeless Craziness of a man who woke up in the morning as a Prince and goes to bed as a Toad. That is a guaranteed overweening shock to the Central Nervous System: if you don't go insane from suddenly having to see everything in the world from a point only two inches high, your brain will surely be churned into cream by having to crawl, headfirst, with your eyes open, down a muddy hole in the ground just to have a place to sleep."
 
    "But wait! Don't touch that dial! Stay tuned for the Point of this story - which is the downward Spiral of Dumbness that threatens to drag all of us down in the Mother of all killer whirlpools. It is the natural law of any Market economy that a rising tide lifts all boats (for 12 hours) - and unless the moon gets blown off its axis by some Pentagon dingbat who wants to 'teach China a lesson,' the same law applies with Low Tides."
 
    "This is going to be a very expensive war, and Victory is not guaranteed - for anyone, and certainly not for a baffled little creep like George W. Bush. All he knows is that his father started the war a long time ago, and that he, the goofy child-President, has been chosen by Fate and the global Oil industry to finish it off. He can declare a National Security Emergency and clamp down Hard on Everybody, no matter where they live or why. If the guilty won't hold up their hands and confess, he and the Generals will ferret them out by force.
 
    "It happens very suddenly, as high-speed collisions always do, and everything in your world disappears in a bright orange flash. There is no immediate pain, because you are knocked out cold like a dead fish. No noise, no feeling, no consciousness. That terrible THUD of impact is the last thing some people ever hear. You are 'on your way out,' as the Doctors like to say." [eerie]
 
    "Freelance writers almost never make enough money to live on, much less ride exotic motorcycles and buy season tickets to 49er games. But I am here to tell you that it can be done - and done without ever resorting to shadowy gigs like pimping or selling drugs. There were times when I was sorely tempted, due to overwhelming poverty, but I have always believed that anybody with a personal lifestyle as flagrant as mine should have a spotless criminal record, if only for reasons of karma."
 
    "What the fuck is going on here? How could this once-proud nation have changed so much, so drastically, in only two years - almost three, to be sure. In what seems like the blink of an eye, this George Bush has brought us from a prosperous nation at peace to a broke nation at war. And why are we killing each other at point-blank range on the other side of the world - with big guns and big bombs that kill everything in reach?
    "Indeed, there is something going on here, Mister Jones, and you don't know what it is, do you?
    "Bob Dylan said that, and he is still right, now more than ever. Hell, there is nothing really new about American cops and American soldiers killing and brutalizing innocent American citizens. It happens with depressing regularity. But at least the bastards use to have the decency to deny it."
 
    "The American nation is in the worst condition I can remember in my lifetime, and our prospects for the immediate future are even worse. I am surprised and embarrassed to be a part of the first American generation to leave the country in far worse shape than it was when we first came into it. Our highways system is crumbling, our police are dishonest, our children are poor, our vaunted Social Security, once the envy of the world, has been looted and neglected and destroyed by the same gang of ignorant, greed-crazed bastards who brought us Vietnam, Afghanistan, the disastrous Gaza Strip, and ignominious defeat all over the world.
    "The Stock Market will never come back, our Armies will never again be Number One, and our children will drink filthy water for the rest of our lives.
    "The Bush family must be very proud of themselves today, but I am not. Big Darkness, soon come. Take my word for it."
 
- HST: Hey Rube -
 
"Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic, love music and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers, lovers and warriors."
- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson -
 
"Admiration, n: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
- Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary -
 
 
Stupid Answers of the Week
 
Locke Milholland asked: Is Gonzo Journalism named in honor of Gonzo from the Muppets, or is Gonzo from the Muppets named after Gonzo Journalism?
 
The term was first used in print by Thompson in 1971, but he later (in Pollack's Stop Presses) claimed the term was coined by one of his editors: "Gonzo all started with Bill Cardosa,after I wrote the Kentucky Derby piece for Scanlan's- the first time I realized you could write different. And I got this note from Cardosa saying, 'That was pure Gonzo journalism!'...Some Boston word for weird, bizarre." There is no evidence to support Thompson's claim that it was a Boston regionalism. It may be based on either the Italian Gonzo or fool on the Spanish ganso, goose or fool.-- Wordorigins.org
- Waldo
 
nugent was gonzo
after hunter s. Thompson.
muppets came later.
- dburke11 [in a haiku mood]
 
By the Old Ones! These are stupid questions. The muppet Gonzo is in no way associated with Hunter Thompson, other than the fact that they liked to eat mescaline together and fuck chickens. Gonzo was the first acknowledged chicken-fucker on TV, a lot of people forget that. He is scheduled for termination in early 2006.
- David D. Stegemeyer

The answer is simple. Gonzo is Gonzo is Gonzo. A Gonzo by any other name would still smell like a biker hen on an acid trip. On the other hand (literally), journalists are muppets with big corporate hands up their butts making them say stupid things in funny voices to amuse children under the guise of educating them.
- Jeff Crook

Spare Ribs asked: What happens to amputated body parts?
 
Many people who have had a body part amputated place their amputated body part beneath their pillow over night. The amputated body part fairy will leave them a dime for amputated body part. After collecting several amputated body parts, the amputated body part fairy sells the body parts, in bulk, on E-bay. If you don't follow the tradition of placing your amputated body part beneath a pillow, the amputated body part is sometimes sent to the amputated body part morgue for preparation to be buried in an amputated body part cemetery. In other cases, the body part is simply tossed into a bin with this sign on it: "toss amputated body parts here." Some countries have an annual amputated body part memorial day to honor those who have had body parts amputated.
- Bill Moses.
 
fingertip is gone.
lost and found is of no help.
have wendy's chilli.
- dburke11 [still in a haiku mood]
 
Scientists harvest their DNA to create clones who are then encased in white PVC armor and sold to the Empire to repress entire star systems that are currently slipping through George Lucas' fingers. The remaining cellular material is pureed into a slurry to feed the gigantic, 3 billion year old alien brain living in a cave beneath Skywalker Ranch.
- Jeff Crook
 
They're used to make realistic plastic models for road crash testing, and for Karl Rove to experiment with, under the White House. Tom Delay eats what's left.
- Waldo
 
Some, apparently, serve as evidence in food spoliation lawsuits. Some are sold to second hand shops all around the nation. The rest, and by far the most, are used by recycled parts suppliers and junk yards as conversation pieces and curios. With great difficulty I am refraining from responding that they are detached and remain separate and apart for the balance of their days,
- palantir
 
They do not amputate in the biggest medical hoax. They jamb the limb inside like mating socks. That is why the limb still itches.
- AsA
 
Amputated limbs and cancerous organs are sent immediately to a large incinerator in the shadowy bowels of the hospital. After being picked clean of nutrients by various ravenous humanoid types (like the ones in the X-Files! Gosh!) they are cremated. The ashes are mixed with hashish oil and smeared upon the bodies of RNC contributors. Never say they didn't get anything for their money.
- David D. Stegemeyer
 
Jeff Crook asked: Do you think that the (as-yet unconfirmed) lion-killer apes of Central Africa are a new ape species, or are they just sexually-frustrated bonobos who were converted by Christian missionaries? Or did Diane Fossey fake her own beheading and hook up with Dr. Moreau to create a new master race of super apes who will one day dominate the world and enslave humanity until Charlton Heston comes through time to save us?
 
1) Both. See my new expose, What the sexually frustrated missionaries did with the Bonobos. 2) No, unfortunately Ms Fossey is dead. However, the aforesaid missionaries did manage to harvest her ova, and the Bonobos are much more aggressive with this addition to the gene pool. Charlton Heston is almost dead, though his genes are spread widely through Hollywood and much of the America. Hence America's lively interest in guns and moronic politicians who don't tax rich people.
- Waldo
 
moreau? fossey? apes?
sexually frustrated?
dirty bonoboes
- dburke11 [still with the fucking Haikus]
 
And for the God's Sake, Chuck Heston died for our Sins in 'Beneath the Planet that went Ape'. To make allusions questioning the Sanctity of His Sacrifice is Supreme Heresy. Just look at our Chosen Leader. His Chimp-like visage stands in mute testimony to the unraveled time-line. We need never fear a simian take-over besides which we have already experienced. Praise St. Heston!!
- David D. Stegemeyer
 
Stupid Questions of the Week
 
Michael Jackson may have to sell off portions of the Beatle catalogue to pay for his legal fees. What songs would be the most appropriate?
 
a) Help
b) Can't Buy Me Love
c) Come Together
d) Baby you can fuck my son
e) ?
 
Send your answers to stupidquestion@disinfotainmenttoday.com.
 
Best Excuse for Converting to Judaism
 
You don't have to wear Christian T-shirts.
 
Super Patriotic Rock Whizbang of the Week
 
America We Stand as One, or download directly. Guaranteed to make you salute and/or barf.
 
Message from the Iraqi Resistance to the People of the World
 
    People of the world! These words come to you from those who up to the day of the invasion were struggling to survive under the sanctions imposed by the criminal regimes of the U.S. and Britain.
    We are simple people who chose principles over fear.
    We have suffered crimes and sanctions, which we consider the true weapons of mass destruction.
    Years and years of agony and despair, while the condemned UN traded with our oil revenues in the name of world stability and peace.
    Over two million innocents died waiting for a light at the end of a tunnel that only ended with the occupation of our country and the theft of our resources.
    After the crimes of the administrations of the U.S and Britain in Iraq, we have chosen our future. The future of every resistance struggle ever in the history of man.
    It is our duty, as well as our right, to fight back the occupying forces, which their nations will be held morally and economically responsible; for what their elected governments have destroyed and stolen from our land.
    We have not crossed the oceans and seas to occupy Britain or the U.S. nor are we responsible for 9/11. These are only a few of the lies that these criminals present to cover their true plans for the control of the energy resources of the world, in face of a growing China and a strong unified Europe . It is Ironic that the Iraqis are to bear the full face of this large and growing conflict on behalf of the rest of this sleeping world.
    We thank all those, including those of Britain and the U.S., who took to the streets in protest against this war and against Globalism. We also thank France , Germany and other states for their position, which least to say are considered wise and balanced, till now.
    Today, we call on you again.
    We do not require arms or fighters, for we have plenty.
    We ask you to form a world wide front against war and sanctions. A front that is governed by the wise and knowing. A front that will bring reform and order. New institutions that would replace the now corrupt.
    Stop using the U.S. dollar, use the Euro or a basket of currencies. Reduce or halt your consumption of British and U.S. products. Put an end to Zionism before it ends the world. Educate those in doubt of the true nature of this conflict and do not believe their media for their casualties are far higher than they admit.
    We only wish we had more cameras to show the world their true defeat.
    The enemy is on the run. They are in fear of a resistance movement they can not see nor predict.
    We, now choose when, where, and how to strike. And as our ancestors drew the first sparks of civilization, we will redefine the word conquest.
    Today we write a new chapter in the arts of urban warfare.
    Know that by helping the Iraqi people you are helping yourselves, for tomorrow may bring the same destruction to you.
    In helping the Iraqi people does not mean dealing for the Americans for a few contracts here and there. You must continue to isolate their strategy.
    This conflict is no longer considered a localized war. Nor can the world remain hostage to the never-ending and regenerated fear that the American people suffer from in general.
    We will pin them here in Iraq to drain their resources, manpower, and their will to fight. We will make them spend as much as they steal, if not more.
    We will disrupt, then halt the flow of our stolen oil, thus, rendering their plans useless.
    And the earlier a movement is born, the earlier their fall will be.
    And to the American soldiers we say, you can also choose to fight tyranny with us. Lay down your weapons, and seek refuge in our mosques, churches and homes. We will protect you. And we will get you out of Iraq , as we have done with a few others before you.
    Go back to your homes, families, and loved ones. This is not your war. Nor are you fighting for a true cause in Iraq .
    And to George W. Bush, we say, You have asked us to Bring it on, and so have we. Like never expected. Have you another challenge?
 
- Iraqi Resistance Video -
 
Those Evil, Terrorist Loving "Libruls"

Issue

Liberal Position

Osama bin Laden Position

NeoConservative Position

Abortion Rights

Favors

Opposes

Opposes

Mandatory Prayer in School

Opposes

Favors

Favors

Separation of Church & State

Favors

Opposes

Opposes

Censorship

Opposes

Favors

Favors

Pre-emptive Attacks

Opposes

Favors

Favors

Interpretation of Religious Scripture

Not Literal

Literal

Literal

Women's Rights

Favors

Opposes

Opposes

Death with Dignity

Favors

Opposes

Opposes

Theory of Evolution

Accepts

Rejects

Rejects

Invasion of Iraq

Opposed

Favored

Favored

Interest on Loans

Supports Fair Interest Rates

Opposes All Interest

Opposes Any Limits on Interest

United Nations

Supports

Opposes

Opposes

Gay Rights

Favors

Opposes

Opposes

Contraceptives

Favors

Opposes

Opposes

Sex Education

Favors

Opposes

Opposes

Severe Penalties for Drug Use

Opposes

Favors

Favors

Corporal Punishment

Opposes

Favors

Favors

Thinks There is Only One TRUE God

No

Yes

Yes

Dissent = Disloyalty

Disagrees

Agrees

Agrees

Torture

Opposes

Favors

Favors

Death Penalty

Opposes

Favors

Favors

Execution of Mentally Ill and Children

Opposes

Favors

Favors

Detention Without Trial

Opposes

Favors

Favors

 
Insane E-Mails of the Week

From: Trisa Liles [tliles@cinci.rr.com]
To: info@dontblamemeivoted4kerry.com
 
Subject: BUSH WON KERRYS A LYING PIECE OF CRAP
 
DEAR WWW.,
DONT BLAME ME I VOTED 4 THE RETARDED DEMOCRAT.COM I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT BUSH,1000 SOLDIERS TO LIBERATE A WHOLE COUNTRY WITH WMD's IS PRETTY DANG GOOD ESPECIALY SINCE THEY KILLED OVER 3000 OF OUR PEOPLE IN OUR HOME COUNTRY AND ATTACKING OUR ALLIES IN MADRID. ALSO BUSH HAS RAISED EMPLOYMENT RATE AND FIX THE SUCKY ARMY CLINTON DEMOLISHED. ONE MORE THING, QUIT TWISTING THE WORDS OF MARTIN LUTHER KING. AND ANOTHER THING JESUS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR WAS NOT A FREAKING LIBERAL AND IF YOU IDIOTS DON'T LIKE US OR OUR PRESIDENT GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND GO TO FRANCE AND BE A COMMIE AND ABOUT YOUR ANTI---SUV STICKER IF YOU LIBBYS GO OUT AND DRIVE YOUR TINY CARS AND WRECK INTO A SUV YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY WILL BE CRUSHED LIKE KERRY WAS CRUSHED IN THE 04 ELECTION. YOU DRAFT DODGERS DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST GEORGE W. BUSH.
 
Dear Satan,
 
I don't appreciate you trying to make me look bad. I am trying to recruit people back into Christianity and you go and put this website up. I am trying my hardest to gain a sense of total control by making my people dependent on everything from drugs to alcohol to fear of nonexistent threats, and here you go throwing out this logic crap. STOP TRYING TO SABOTAGE MY HARD WORK! or you just might get a visit from the "boys".
 
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
 
Censored 2005: The Top 25 Censored Media Stories of 2003-2004
 
#1: Wealth Inequality in 21st Century Threatens Economy and Democracy
#2: Ashcroft vs. the Human Rights Law that Holds Corporations Accountable
#3: Bush Administration Censors Science
#4: High Levels of Uranium Found in Troops and Civilians
#5: The Wholesale Giveaway of Our Natural Resources
#6: The Sale of Electoral Politics
#7: Conservative Organization Drives Judicial Appointments
#8: Cheney's Energy Task Force and The Energy Policy
#9: Widow Brings RICO Case Against U.S. government for 9/11
#10: New Nuke Plants: Taxpayers Support, Industry Profits
#11: The Media Can Legally Lie
#12: The Destabilization of Haiti
#13: Schwarzenegger Met with Enron's Ken Lay Years Before the California Recall
#14: New Bill Threatens Intellectual Freedom in Area Studies
#15: U.S. Develops Lethal New Viruses
#16: Law Enforcement Agencies Spy on Innocent Citizens
#17: U.S. Government Represses Labor Unions in Iraq in Quest for Business Privatization
#18: Media and Government Ignore Dwindling Oil Supplies
#19: Global Food Cartel Fast Becoming the World's Supermarket
#20: Extreme Weather Prompts New Warning from UN
#21: Forcing a World Market for GMOs
#22: Censoring Iraq
#23: Brazil Holds Back in FTAA Talks, But Provides Little Comfort for the Poor of South America
#24: Reinstating the Draft
#25: Wal-Mart Brings Inequality and Low Prices to the World
 
Do-it-Yourself Joke of the Week
 
Fill in the blank...
 
"If ignorance is bliss, ___________ are the happiest people on earth."
 
a) Republicans
b) People who watch Fox news
c) fetuses
d) ............
 
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know
 
To guarantee someone will call you back after leaving a message on their voice mail, say, "Hello, my name is so-and-so and my telephone number is such-and-such. I'm calling because I understand you're the person to speak to about... " and then hang up the phone mid-sentence. The person will think you were cut off and will call back to see what the end of the sentence was.
 
Letter to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee
 
Dear Sir:
 
    I'm writing to urge you to consider blocking in committee the nomination of John Bolton as ambassador to the UN.
    In the late summer of 1994, I worked as the subcontracted leader of a US AID project in Kyrgyzstan officially awarded to a HUB primary contractor. My own employer was Black, Manafort, Stone & Kelly, and I reported directly to Republican leader Charlie Black.
    After months of incompetence, poor contract performance, inadequate in-country funding, and a general lack of interest or support in our work from the prime contractor, I was forced to make US AID officials aware of the prime contractor's poor performance.
    I flew from Kyrgyzstan to Moscow to meet with other Black Manafort employees who were leading or subcontracted to other US AID projects. While there, I met with US AID officials and expressed my concerns about the project -- chief among them, the prime contractor's inability to keep enough cash in country to allow us to pay bills, which directly resulted in armed threats by Kyrgyz contractors to me and my staff.
    Within hours of sending a letter to US AID officials outlining my concerns, I met John Bolton, whom the prime contractor hired as legal counsel to represent them to US AID. And, so, within hours of dispatching that letter, my hell began.
    Mr. Bolton proceeded to chase me through the halls of a Russian hotel -- throwing things at me, shoving threatening letters under my door and, generally, behaving like a madman. For nearly two weeks, while I awaited fresh direction from my company and from US AID, John Bolton hounded me in such an appalling way that I eventually retreated to my hotel room and stayed there. Mr. Bolton, of course, then routinely visited me there to pound on the door and shout threats.
    When US AID asked me to return to Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan in advance of assuming leadership of a project in Kazakstan, I returned to my project to find that John Bolton had proceeded me by two days. Why? To meet with every other AID team leader as well as US foreign-service officials in Bishkek, claiming that I was under investigation for misuse of funds and likely was facing jail time. As US AID can confirm, nothing was further from the truth.
    He indicated to key employees of or contractors to State that, based on his discussions with investigatory officials, I was headed for federal prison and, if they refused to cooperate with either him or the prime contractor's replacement team leader, they, too, would find themselves the subjects of federal investigation. As a further aside, he made unconscionable comments about my weight, my wardrobe and, with a couple of team leaders, my sexuality, hinting that I was a lesbian (for the record, I'm not).
    When I resurfaced in Kyrgyzstan, I learned that he had done such a convincing job of smearing me that it took me weeks -- with the direct intervention of US AID officials -- to limit the damage. In fact, it was only US AID's appointment of me as a project leader in Almaty, Kazakstan that largely put paid to the rumors Mr. Bolton maliciously circulated.
    As a maligned whistleblower, I've learned firsthand the lengths Mr. Bolton will go to accomplish any goal he sets for himself. Truth flew out the window. Decency flew out the window. In his bid to smear me and promote the interests of his client, he went straight for the low road and stayed there.
    John Bolton put me through hell -- and he did everything he could to intimidate, malign and threaten not just me, but anybody unwilling to go along with his version of events. His behavior back in 1994 wasn't just unforgivable, it was pathological.
    I cannot believe that this is a man being seriously considered for any diplomatic position, let alone such a critical posting to the UN. Others you may call before your committee will be able to speak better to his stated dislike for and objection to stated UN goals. I write you to speak about the very character of the man.
    It took me years to get over Mr. Bolton's actions in that Moscow hotel in 1994, his intensely personal attacks and his shocking attempts to malign my character.
    I urge you from the bottom of my heart to use your ability to block Mr. Bolton's nomination in committee.
 
Respectfully yours,
 
Melody Townsel
Dallas, TX 75208
 
Don't Take My Word For It
 
    "A report to the UN human rights commission in Geneva has concluded that Iraqi children were actually better off under Saddam Hussein than they are now.
    "This, of course, comes as a bitter blow for all those of us who, like George Bush and Tony Blair, honestly believe that children thrive best when we drop bombs on them from a great height, destroy their cities and blow up hospitals, schools and power stations.
    "It now appears that, far from improving the quality of life for Iraqi youngsters, the US-led military assault on Iraq has inexplicably doubled the number of children under five suffering from malnutrition. Under Saddam, about 4% of children under five were going hungry, whereas by the end of last year almost 8% were suffering."
 
"Unknown to many members of the church, however, Ratzinger's past includes brief membership of the Hitler Youth movement and wartime service with a German army anti-aircraft unit."
- Justin Sparks, Munich, John Follain and Christopher Morgan, Rome: Papal hopeful is a former Hitler Youth -
 
"It was fixed, I tell you, fixed. Just like Florida. Just like Ohio. Al Gore is the REAL new Pope. Grrrr, it makes me so mad."
- Hyman Idiot -
 
    "Thirty years ago, 1975, Gerald Ford was President of the United Sates. His Chief of Staff was Dick Cheney. His Secretary of Defense was Donald Rumsfeld. Paul Wolfowitz was heading-up the international arms-control end of things. All of these positions related directly to national security. While these men were looking after the nation's safety, they and President Ford concluded that Iran needed to supplement its energy system by adding nuclear power. The nuclear energy project that these men approved would have netted certain US corporations billions of dollars. Had the Shah of Iran...a blood-bought servant of US corporate interests...not soon been overthrown by his own countrymen, the big-wigs at Westinghouse or General Electric...or perhaps both...would have amassed personal fortunes from this one project, alone. Some of the stockholders would have also made bundles on the deal...
    "30 years ago these 3 men gave the green light to Iran so that Iran could hire US companies to go there and build a 6.4 billion dollar nuclear power facility. ...no doubt the final bill would have been at least three times that much. Yet Dick Cheney recently said this of Iran's current intentions to add nuclear power to their energy system: Quote... 'They are already sitting on an awful lot of oil and gas. Nobody can figure why they need nuclear to generate energy' ...end of quote. Did these men not notice, 30 years ago, while they and their cohorts were being wined and dined by the Shah, that his opulent surroundings were bought and paid for with oil and gas that was being taken from the ground beneath their feet? Yet these men agreed, clear back then, that Iran needed to add nuclear power to their energy system. It is now 30 years and God only knows how many tens of millions of barrels of oil, later. Why should we believe these men... who we know are liars... when they now say that Iran's primary motive for wanting nuclear power is so that they can make nuclear weapons with which to destroy us and our allies? Even now, the International Atomic Energy Agency reports that there is no evidence that Iran has a nuclear weapons program. The Bush administrations response? They are trying to oust the agency's lead inspector, Mohammed al-Baradei. But who can forget that it was Mr. al-Baradei and the International Atomic Energy Agency who, during the months prior to the invasion of Iraq, reported that Saddam no longer had a nuclear weapons programs."
- Cindy Sheehan: Murderous Thugs -
 
    "No doubt the major U.S. energy companies would love to be working with Iran today in developing these vast oil and gas supplies. At present, however, they are prohibited from doing so by Executive Order (EO) 12959, signed by President Clinton in 1995 and renewed by President Bush in March 2004...
    "When considering Iran's role in the global energy equation, therefore, Bush administration officials have two key strategic aims: a desire to open up Iranian oil and gas fields to exploitation by American firms, and concern over Iran's growing ties to America's competitors in the global energy market. Under U.S. law, the first of these aims can only be achieved after the President lifts EO 12959, and this is not likely to occur as long as Iran is controlled by anti-American mullahs and refuses to abandon its uranium enrichment activities with potential bomb-making applications. Likewise, the ban on U.S. involvement in Iranian energy production and export gives Tehran no choice but to pursue ties with other consuming nations. From the Bush administration's point of view, there is only one obvious and immediate way to alter this unappetizing landscape by inducing 'regime change' in Iran and replacing the existing leadership with one far friendlier to U.S. strategic interests."
- Michael Klare: Blood, Oil, and Iran -
 
    "It's hard to believe it's been almost three years since my Papal audience. Yes, ours was a brief meeting, but from it I took away a very clear picture. A picture not just of a stooped, wrinkly little albino gremlin but a picture of a man of great influence and curious contradictions.
    "A man so tireless in his efforts to steal my 'Culture of Life' thunder, yet too racked with dementia to realize it simply doesn't apply to Negroid prison inmates and thousands of Iraqian civilians.
    "A man so forceful in his defense of the sanctity of hot man-on-girl action and opposition to faggasexuality, yet who populated the ranks of his clergy exclusively with abstinence-proclaiming fudgepackers.
    "A man with one tippy-toe touching down in the 21st century, yet with the other foot and both hands furiously clutching onto the Middle Ages.
And last but not least, a man with his fingers on the purse strings of two millenia worth of criminally ill-gotten wealth, yet too paralyzed by that dumb 'modesty' stuff to even buy himself a decent stretch limousine with blacked-out windows instead of toodling around in that retarded fishtank-on-a-golfcart thing."
- President's Requisite Kind Words Maintaining Formal Protestant Non-Delight Over the Death of Pope John "Peacemongering King of the Boy Humpers" Paul II -
 
"Can there be anyone worse than John Paul? Yes, there is: The borderline insane people who are chanting 'Santo subito!' ('make him a saint soon') at his funeral mass. Make a man who protects men who pimped the children of their own congregations to sexual predators a saint? It's a good thing they believe Jesus was resurrected, otherwise he would be spinning in his tomb like a whirling dervish by now."
 
"I think of birth as the search for a larger apartment."
- Rita Mae Brown -
 
    "In the few weeks before its fall, Iraq's Ba'athist regime made a series of increasingly desperate peace offers to Washington, promising to hold elections and even to allow US troops to search for banned weapons. But the advances were all rejected by the Bush administration, according to intermediaries involved in the talks. As US and British troops massed in the Gulf, Iraqi intelligence sent out a range of compromise feelers through a number of channels in the apparent hope of forestalling the invasion or at least buying time...
    "The first approach appears to have been made last December through the CIA's former head of counter-terrorism, Vincent Cannistraro.
    "'I was approached by someone representing Tahir al-Tikriti - the Iraqi intelligence chief also known as [General] Tahir Habbush - who said Saddam knew there was a campaign to link him to September 11 and prove he had weapons of mass destruction,' said Mr. Cannistraro. 'The Iraqis were prepared to satisfy those concerns. I reported the conversation to senior levels of the state department and I was told to stand aside and they would handle it,' he said. He later heard the Iraqi offer had been 'killed' by the Bush administration."
 
"One basic truth can be used as a foundation for a mountain of lies, and if we dig down deep enough in the mountain of lies, and bring out that truth, to set it on top of the mountain of lies; the entire mountain of lies will crumble under the weight of that one truth. And there is nothing more devastating to a structure of lies than the revelation of the truth upon which the structure of lies was built, because the shock waves of the revelation of the truth reverberate, and continue to reverberate throughout the Earth for generations to follow, awakening even those people who had no desire to be awakened to the truth."
- Delamar Duvaris in the preface of Behold the Pale Horse by William Cooper -
 
    "Haley Dawson has never been a stripper. But Ohio liquor-control agents took her identity and gave it to a 22-year-old college student who they had recruited to work undercover as a nude dancer.
    "As part of an investigation that resulted in nothing more than misdemeanor charges, police paid University of Dayton criminal-justice student Michelle Szuhay $100 a night to take it all off in early 2003 as liquor-control officers drank beer and watched in the audience for three months, court papers show.
    "Other officers watched her strip on the Internet, using an account created under the identity of a dead man. The officers did all this by using Dawson's drivers license and Social Security number to hide Szuhay's identity while she worked at the targeted strip club, the now-closed Total Xposure in Troy.
    "To Dawson's father, David Dawson, 'It certainly looks like identity theft.'
    "But it's not, said Miami County Prosecutor Gary Nasal. Pointing to a 2002 change in Ohio's law aimed at fighting identity theft, Nasal said police are allowed to assume anyone's identity as long as it's part of an investigation.
    "'I don't know much about law, but I would say that's just baloney,' said David Dawson."
 
    "Many in the military believe the war is a disaster. Never has there been such bad feelings between the military and civilian leadership in the Pentagon. It is unreasonable to expect our military to continue absorbing losses for a war we didn't have to fight. Before the war we thumbed our nose at most of the rest of the world. We can hardly expect them to come to our rescue putting their lives on the line for miscalculations of the Bush Administration...
    "Al-Qaeda continues to attack around the world and is a major threat to the United States. This disturbing situation is a direct result of the Presidents failure to lead a worldwide effort to remove the threat posed by al-Qaeda. Instead, he diverted our military power and intelligence to a totally unnecessary war in Iraq, a country that had no real connection to 9-11 or to al-Qaeda and was not a threat to the United States
    "The President promised Congress and the American people that he would not engage in war, except as a last resort. He did not fulfill this promise. Instead, the President went to war based on exaggerated intelligence known to be of uncertain reliability. He did not allow international weapon experts to finish their inspections or check out our intelligence; he didn't even allow U.S. personnel to participate in the inspection process. The President and his advisors were already on their path to war and interpreted intelligence data to suit their own needs. They deceived themselves, the nation, or both."
- Ed Asner & Burt Hall: A War We didn't have to fight -
 
"The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them."
- George Orwell -
 
"The truth is that you cannot even begin to make a justification for the war unless you take into account the lives of innocent Iraqis lost as a result of it. The simplest way to deal with that is to pretend that these deaths do not exist - the occupying powers simply do not count them. The only other defense is that their deaths are a price worth paying and that good things can come from bad acts - a claim every bit as offensive and wrong-headed as arguing that 9/11 was a price worth paying for waking America up to the consequences of its foreign policy."
 
"Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom."
- Arthur Schopenhauer -
 
"To achieve a sustainable economy and avert disaster, the United States must reduce its population by at least one-third."
- Dale Allen Pfeiffer: Eating Fossil Fuels -
 
"Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911 showed Saudi Arabia in a negative light. There have been other 'investigative reports' since then that have done the same. First they try and win you over to their side by showing the Bush family ties with the bin Ladens. Then they show how the bin Ladens were supporting Osama. Then they try to convince you that Osama was behind the World Trade Center bombings and other terrorist attacks. Don't be fooled! George Bush and Ariel Sharon were behind the world trade center attacks! Just see who gained the most from these attacks. Osama, like Saddam Hussein were CIA assets that they turned on and made into villains to further Illuminati plans. Just as Saudi Arabia was an ally of the United States and is becoming the scapegoat. Whenever you see any kind of news story and it mentions Osama, you can bet it is a load of crap. Just the fact that the last 3 Osama bin Laden recordings have been faked makes it doubtful that he is even alive. In fact anything after this interview given on Aug. 16, 2001 is highly suspect. But just like with Elvis, that won't stop new recordings from being released.
 
"Happiness, n: an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others."
- Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary -
 
"[Benjamin Franklin] said, 'Well, I say "yes" to this constitution, with all its faults. We need good governance for a while, and this constitution will assure us of good governance for a number of years.' Then he said, 'This constitution will fail, as others have before it, and that will be due to the corruption of the people, for whom in the end only despotism will serve.' This was a famous speech in its day. I went through a dozen high school history books of the United States. Part of the speech is given; what I just quoted is never quoted. So that was the first 'nay' vote to the constitution, which I think most thoughtful people - the good thing about it is the Bill of Rights, which guarantees us freedom of speech and so on. The bad things are the powers given to the President, which have now been absolutely inflated out of control, where the President is almost a permanent dictator with the power to declare pre-emptive war any time he likes. Now, George Washington would be out of his mind, and he was the first President. He didn't want powers to say, 'I think terrorists might be livin' over there. I think we better hit Denmark. Denmark's a good place to hit. We'll hit 'em because there could be terrorists there.' This is the rationale of the so-called Bush doctrine, and it is insane."
 
"Never believe anything until it has been officially denied."
- Claud Cockburn -
 
"You have to believe that, just when Bremer has appointed the gangster of hate to dry out the two rivers (Rafidain) in order for us to die of thirst and to burn the crops so as we die of hunger, and demolishing of homes of religion and prayers and destroying the state and history. Yes, believe it, after seeing the documents which scandalize the sons of poisonous snakes. They have given for free, all Iraqi weapons and arms to Stoffel , Bush's envoy in Iraq. The actual value of these military equipments was 40 billion dollars. It is the biggest crime that has ever been committed through the ages and wars, which has never happened or been heard of through the history of mankind. This theft was committed by an order from the United States and England and with the full agreement and acknowledgment of Alawi, the Chalabi and Al-Shaalan."
- Communique NO. 3: Rafidan - The Political Committee of the Mujahideen Central Command -
 
"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dryrot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."
- Jack London -
 
    "It was very prominent in this country in the build-up to welfare reform in the mid-nineties, with constant attacks on the poorest of the poor, that people who need to rely on welfare now and then are lazy, and promiscuous and addicted. The mindset that working people are lazy is part of a larger view that poverty is the result of a character defect or a set of character defects -- that people don't know how to look ahead and only seek out personal gratification and so forth.
    "We're hearing a little less of that since welfare reform passed. I think what I hear more of is a kind of conservative retort that poor people made the wrong choices, and they should have gone to college. Getting out of poverty is something you just 'will' to do, or poor people should have postponed childbearing until they had a middle-class income. Actually what it all comes down to is, they should have chosen their parents better."
Barbara Ehrenreich Brings You Life Without Safety Nets - the Growing Reality for Everyday Americans -
 
"The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words."
- Philip K. Dick -
 
    "Over 11,000 children were sexually abused and close to $1 billion in settlement money has been paid out, but the pope did not go much beyond decrying the sins of some of our brothers. He never met with any victims, he never offered practical solutions to dealing with the problem, he never addressed the decades-long cover-up of the abuse. He even rejected a zero tolerance policy calling for the immediate removal of molester-priests, concerned that it was too harsh.
    "Too harsh?! This is a man who wouldn't allow a priest to become a bishop unless he was unequivocally opposed to masturbation, premarital sex and condoms. So, in his perversion pecking order, you had to be dead-set against self-love but when it came to buggering little kids, there was some wiggle room."
- Arianna Huffington: A Cornucopia of Death -
 
"It is not a way of life that a wise man proposes, but a way around life."
- Christopher Spranger: The Effort To Fall -
 
"If you mean whiskey, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pits of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness, and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fiber of my being. However, if by whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favor of it. This is my position, and as always, I refuse to be compromised on matters of principle."
- Noah S. Sweat -
 
"When a thing has been said, and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it."
- Anatole France -
 
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart - Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."
- Carl Gustav Jung -
 
"Where's the 'Any' key?"
- Homer Simpson -
 
"The question of sexual dominance can exist only in the nightmare of that soul which has armed itself, totally, against the possibility of the changing motion of conquest and surrender, which is love."
- James Baldwin -
 
"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."
- Cato the Elder -
 
"He who walks joyfully in rank and file has already earned my contempt."
- Albert Einstein -
 
"When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web... Now even my cat has its own page."
- Bill Clinton -
 
"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level."
- Quentin Crisp -

"The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting."
- P. J. O'Rourke -
 
"The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice."
- Doug Larson -
 
"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."
- Dave Barry -

    "Security at U.S. airports is no better under federal control than it was before the Sept. 11 attacks, a key House member says two government reports will conclude. The Government Accountability Office - the investigative arm of Congress - and the Homeland Security Department's inspector general are expected to soon release their findings on the performance of Transportation Security Administration screeners.
    "'A lot of people will be shocked at the billions of dollars we've spent and the results they're going to see, which confirm previous examinations of the Soviet-style screening system we've put in place,' Rep. John Mica, R-Fla., told The Associated Press on Friday...'
    "On Jan. 26, Homeland Security's acting inspector general, Richard Skinner, testified that 'the ability of TSA screeners to stop prohibited items from being carried through the sterile areas of the airports fared no better than the performance of screeners prior to Sept. 11, 2001.'"
- Leslie Miller: Reports: Airport security hasn't improved -
 
"I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world."
- Georges Duhamel -
 
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than the rest, and people who met him were always impressed with how unimpressive he was."
- Joseph Heller: Catch-22 -

"To learn the path it is important to be sharp yet inconspicuous. When you are sharp, you are not confused by people; when you are inconspicuous, you don't contend with people. Not being confused by people, you are empty and spiritual; not contending with people, you are serene and subtle."
- Liao-an -
 
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
- Mark Twain -

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
- Dan Quayle - 
 
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
- Douglas Adams: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -
 
"Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man."
- Mahatma Ghandi -
 
"Where's my umbrella?"
- Mahatma Coat -
 
    "Research on bread indicates that:
    "1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
    "2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
    "3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
    "4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
    "5. Bread is made from a substance called 'dough.' It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!"
- !!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!! -
 
"Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies."
- Thomas Jefferson -

"There are more fools in the world than there are people."
- Heinrich Heine -

"All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed."
- Sean O'Casey: The Plough and The Stars -

"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly,' meaning 'many,' and the word 'ticks,' meaning 'blood sucking parasites'."
- Larry Hardiman -
 
"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
- Voltaire -

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."
- Timothy Leary -

"Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth."
- Lillian Hellman -
 
"America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but it's people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves.... It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their betters."
- Kurt Vonnegut Jr. -

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it."
- George Bernard Shaw - 
 
"If I were granted omnipotence, and millions of years to experiment in, I should not think Man much to boast of as the final result of all my efforts."
- Bertrand Russell -

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite."
- Sam Levenson -
 
"The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter."
- Winston Churchill -
 
"Evil will always prevail, because good is dumb."
- Mel Brooks: Spaceballs -
 
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
- Oscar Wilde -

"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right."
- Isaac Asimov -

"Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life."
- Robert Byrne -
 
"A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer."
- A. Whitney Brown -
 
"Nothing has changed. The only difference is that we were once ruled by a dictator and now we are ruled by clowns."
- Awada Dakil, an Iraqi Shia -
 
Everything Else
 
These guys sell armored cars that look just like regular cars, so when the terrorists attack you to steal your children, you'll be fucking ready for them. According to the site, "heads of state, religious leaders, industrialists, and corporate executives. No one is safe from the threat of terrorist attacks!" I guess that means you. Get one today.
 
Of the 10,472 criminals arrested in the largest coordinated crackdown by federal, state and local law enforcement officials in history, "150 of those nabbed April 4-10 were wanted for murder, 550 were sought on rape or sexual assault charges, and more than 600 had outstanding arrest warrants for armed robbery." Which leaves me wondering how many of the other 9,172 criminals were guilty of smoking a joint at a rock concert.
 
Come on, admit it, you had no idea that the USA PATRIOT act actually stood for Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism.
 
The largest group hug of all time involved 5,117 people at St. Matthew's secondary school in Orleans, Ontario, Canada. They hugged each other for 10 seconds on April 23, 2004 in support of a local cancer charity, according to the special 50th anniversary edition of The Guinness World Records. I say we can do better. 6,000 people are hereby invited to my place for a hug. Write for directions.
 
 
Contact George W. Bush - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Freemasons - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Skull and Bones - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Carlyle Group - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Illuminati - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Satan - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact both houses of Congress - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Supreme Court - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Dick Cheney - vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Halliburton - vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Bechtel - vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Saddam Hussein - vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Osama bin Laden - thetwins@whitehouse.gov
Contact Jeb Bush - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Fidel Castro - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Kim Jong Il -
eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac - france-presse@un.int
Contact the Pope - accreditamenti@pressva.va
Contact God - president@whitehouse.gov
 
 
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I can't believe you don't know about my trip to Disneyland with Eugene Ionesco.


Boo hoo.
My back is killing me.
Won't you buy me a massage chair?
 


Acknowledgment

dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.

Thanks,
Yoko Mover Heer
 
 
 

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'Best of TBH Politoons'

Click Here!



Thanks, again, Tim!

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Purple Gene's Epitaph

Marla Ruzicka

Marla Ruzicka


Purple Gene's epitaph for Marla Ruzicka, a LOCAL HERO who has fallen in Iraq:

We live part of the time near Lakeport, California on a small lake that is peaceful and remote…..far from the cities, the crowds, the politics and the WAR. Marla Ruzicka was born and raised up here in Lakeport. Went to Clear Lake High School and went off to one of the deadliest places on the face of the earth……to work with the collateral damage of George Bush's illegal and immoral war in Iraq….she started CIVIC "Campaign for Innocent Victims of Conflict"…….and she died on last Saturday near the Bagdad Airport…the victim of a suicide bombing.

I went through the sixties and the Vietnam War and Nixon too……We had more Marlas then ….Where are the Marlas NOW? I am sad…. not as much for her and her family (they are incredibly proud of her) …but I am sad for our Country's' loss…the worlds' loss for that matter….we need more Marlas to be courageous and compassionate and not religious and political.

Marla worked with Global exchange activist and outspoken opponent of the war… Medea Benjamin and Marla was instrumental in securing $3.75 million to help victims.

We need more Marlas!

Purple Gene suggests everyone google Marla Ruzicka's name and learn more about this 28 year LOCAL HERO to whom I humbly bow…….

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AN EXPLODING SUN

IS BLOOMING OUT MY WINDOW

THE GORGEOUS "MARIGOLD"


Zen Man
(in the Garden of East Oakland)

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Recommended Reading

from Bruce

Betty Bowers: America's Best Christian
As those of you who follow my blessed ministry know, Jesus has graciously waived almost all of His more ill-advised New Testament rules for connected, conservative Christians -- providing they meet retroactive, but stringent tithing guidelines.


Paul Krugman: A Whiff of Stagflation
(Click on "Columns," then on "A Whiff of Stagflation.")

In the 1970's soaring prices of oil and other commodities led to stagflation -- a combination of high inflation and high unemployment, which left no good policy options.


ROD HELLE: Are you an idiot? (Illinois Times)
Broadcast journalism has never been this awful.


Karma Cleanser (Creative Loafing)
Dear Karma Cleanser: Can I rack up bad karma by not tipping?


David Bruce: Wise Up: Good Deeds (The Athens News)
Valerie Taylor, one of the first people to write positive lesbian fiction, makes little money from her writing, certainly not enough to pay for health care. Fortunately, she has 10 friends who each contribute $10 per month so that she can pay for her HMO and eye medicine.


Resources on key literacy issues


Highlights from Classroom Notes Plus


Highlights from The Council Chronicle


INBOX, a free e-newsletter of news, views, and ideas

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Subscribe to BartCop!

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Selected Readings

from that Mad Cat, JD

TORQUEMADA THE FIRST

AND

TORQUEMADA THE FIRST

MUSSOCONI SHOWDOWN

THE HOLY FATHERS. HEE HAW

THANK YOU CHIMP BOY

COURTESY OF THE NRA

CHAO TIME

CHIMP BOY AND SENSELESS DEATH GO HAND IN HAND

DEAD SKUNK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD...

INHERIT THE WINDBAGS

RIVERBEND

AN AMERICAN HERO

RATZO PROTECTS THE BABY RAPER

THE NEW POPE SOUNDS LIKE BUGMAN

RATZO IS A SICK FUCK

JESUS FREAKS IN THE WILD BLUE YONDER

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In The Chaos Household

Last Night

Overcast til mid-afternoon.

Was watching the KTLA morning news when they paraded out Maria 'The Enabler' Schwarzenegger. Didn't pay any attention to what she was pitching - was completely distracted by her hair.

Maria has some of the best hair in the business. No matter what she says or does, her hair is always great.

Well, until this morning. Yowee, that was some bad hair.

Not bad hair like the greasy ferret John Bolton has trained to sit on his head (I won't even metion his appalling milk moustache), but more when teenage girls have a sleep-over & do each others hair - this was like what the girl nobody liked ended up with. Ack.



Tonight, Wednesday:

CBS starts the night with '60 Minutes II', followed by a RERUN 'King Of Queens', then a FRESH 'Yes, Dear', followed by a RERUN 'CSI: The 3rd One'.
On a RERUN Dave (from 2/24/05) are John Travolta, Tony Kornheiser, and Michael Wilbon
On a RERUN Craig (from 3/23/05) are Andie MacDowell, Gerard Butler, and Kathleen Edwards.

NBC opens the night with a RERUN 'Revelations' (part 1 of 6), followed by a FRESH 'Revelations' (part 2 of 6), then a RERUN 'Law & Order'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are Ashton Kutcher, Super Dave Osborne, and Regina Spector.
On a RERUN Conan (from 11/23/04) are Kelsey Grammer, Rosario Dawson, and Lee Lindeman.
On a RERUN Carson Daly are Tom Arnold and Citizen Cope.

ABC begins the night with another RERUN 'Lost' (runs 1 minute long), followed by a FRESH 'Alias' (starts 1 minute after the top of the hour), then a FRESH 'Eyes'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Ice Cube and 92-year-old weightlifter Johnny Holiday.

The WB offers a FRESH 'Smallville', followed by a FRESH 'Jack & Bobby'.

Faux has a FRESH 'Simple Life: Interns', followed by a FRESH 'Stacked', then a FRESH 'American Idol', followed by a FRESH 'Life On A Stick'.

UPN has a FRESH 'America's Next Top Model', followed by a RERUN 'Kevin Hill'.

A&E has 'American Justice', another 'American Justice', 'In The Line Of Fire: The Protectors', 'Airline', and another 'Airline'.

AMC offers the movie 'The Silence Of The Lambs', followed by the movie 'In The Heat Of The Night', then the movie 'Brubaker'.

BBC  -   
 [2pm]    'As Time Goes By' - Episode 2;
 [2:40pm]    'Are You Being Served?' - No Sale;
 [3:20pm]    'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 8;
 [4pm]    'What Not to Wear' - Geneve;
 [4:30pm]    'What Not To Wear' - Sandie;
 [5pm]    'What Not to Wear' - Episode 5;
 [6pm]    'BBC World News';
 [6:30pm]    'Cash in the Attic - Hinchcliffe;
 [7pm]    'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 18;
 [8pm]    'My Family' - Desperately Squeaking Susan;
 [8:40pm]    'The Catherine Tate Show' - Episode 3;
 [9:20pm]    'Coupling' - 9 1/2 Months;
 [10pm]    'Kumars at No. 42' - Tom Jones;
 [10:40pm]    'Goodness Gracious Me' - Episode 4;
 [12am]    'My Family' - Desperately Squeaking Susan;
 [12:40am]    'The Catherine Tate Show' - Episode 3;
 [1:20am]    'Coupling' - 9 1/2 Months;
 [2am]    'Kumars at No. 42' - Tom Jones;
 [2:40am]    'Goodness Gracious Me' - Episode 4;
 [3am]    'My Family' - Desperately Squeaking Susan;
 [3:40am]    'The Catherine Tate Show' - Episode 3;
 [4:20am]    'Coupling' - 9 1/2 Months;
 [5am]    'Kumars at No. 42' - Tom Jones;
 [5:40am]    'Goodness Gracious Me' - Episode 4;
 [6am]    'BBC World News'.    (ALL TIMES EDT)

Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Project Greenlight', 'Showdog Moms & Dads', and another 'Showdog Moms & Dads'.

Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Comedy Central Presents' (Paul Mercurio), another 'Comedy Central Presents' (Gregg Rogell), South Park', another 'South Park', and a FRESH 'Con'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Dennis Miller.

History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Holy Secrets: Electing A Pope', 'Organized Crime: History', and another 'Organized Crime: History'.

IFC  -   
 [6AM]    'Goya In Bordeaux' (1999);
 [7:45AM]    'Shadow Magic' (2000);
 [9:45AM]    'The Gods Must Be Crazy' (1980);
 [11:45AM]    'Telling Lies In America' (1997);
 [1:30PM]    'Shadow Magic' (2000);
 [3:30PM]    'Alice et Martin' (1998);
 [5:45PM]    'Telling Lies In America' (1997);
 [7:30PM]    'You See Me Laughin' (2002);
 [9PM]    'Velvet Goldmine' (1998);
 [1AM]    'Velvet Goldmine' (1998);
 [5AM]    'Henry's Film Corner #105' (2005);
 [5:30AM]    'Film School #4' (2004).    (ALL TIMES EDT)

SciFi has is all 'Ripley's Believe It Or Not!' all night.

Sundance  -   
 [7:30AM]    'Speed for Thespians' (Short);
 [8AM]    'The Way Home' (Feature);
 [9:30AM]    'Particles of Truth' (Feature);
 [11:15AM]    'Un Vol la nuit (A Theft, One Night)' (Short);
 [11:30AM]    'Bread and Tulips' (Feature);
 [1:30PM]    'Since Otar Left' (Feature);
 [3:10PM]    'No Problem' (Short);
 [3:30PM]    'Shooting the War' (Documentary);
 [4:30PM]    'The Way Home' (Feature);
 [6PM]    'The Cucumber Incident' (Documentary);
 [7:15PM]    'Particles of Truth' (Feature);
 [9PM]    'Ready To Wear (Pret-a-Porter)' (Feature);
 [11:15PM]    'Love Me or Leave Me Alone' (Feature);
 [11:30PM]    'Since Otar Left' (Feature);
 [1:10AM]    'No Problem' (Short);
 [1:30AM]    'DemonLover' (Feature);
 [3:30AM]    'Dead or Alive: Final' (Feature);
 [5AM]    'Bread and Tulips' (Feature).    (ALL TIMES EDT)

TCM spends the evening with director Howard Hawks.
 [6am]    'Slightly Dangerous' (1943);
 [8am]    'The Little Giant' (1933);
 [9:15am]    'A Slight Case Of Murder' (1938);
 [10:45am]    'Larceny, Inc.' (1942);
 [12:30pm]    'Arsenic And Old Lace' (1944);
 [2:30pm]    'Lady For A Day' (1933);
 [4:15pm]    'The Thin Man' (1934);
 [6pm]    'The Pink Panther' (1964);
 [8pm]    'Monkey Business' (1952);
 [10pm]    'The Men Who Made the Movies: Howard Hawks' (1973);
 [11pm]    'His Girl Friday' (1940);
 [12:45am]    'Bringing Up Baby' (1938);

 [2:30am]    'My Man Godfrey' (1936);
 [4:15am]    'Stage Door' (1937).    (ALL TIMES EDT)


Thursday  -  04/21

TCM devotes the morning & afternoon to celebrating Anthony Quinn, who would have been 90 today.
 [6am]    'Ride, Vaquero!' (1953);
 [8am]    'Guns For San Sebastian' (1968);
 [10am]    'The Shoes of the Fisherman' (1968);
 [1pm]    'Private Screenings: Anthony Quinn' (1999);
 [2pm]    'La Strada' (1954);
 [4pm]    'Lust For Life' (1956);
 [6:30pm]    'Requiem For A Heavyweight' (1962);

 [8pm]    'The Lives Of A Bengal Lancer' (1935);
 [10pm]    'The Sundowners' (1960);
 [12:30am]    'Second Chance' (1953);
 [2am]    'No Way Out' (1950);
 [4am]    'The Bedford Incident' (1965).    (ALL TIMES EDT)



Any opinions?

Or reviews?



(See below for addresses)

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Singer and songwriter Annie Lennox, left, playwright and V-Day Founder Eve Ensler, middle, Director Nathalie Uffner, along with well known actresses and celebrities from all over Europe joined together for a unique European benefit performance of Eve Ensler's 'The Vagina Monologues' at the Flagey building in Brussels, Tuesday April 19, 2005, in a global movement against violence against women.
Photo by Thierry Charlier
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Click Here!

Moose & Squirrel - The Blog

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Honored In New York

Dustin Hoffman

After hearing Mike Nichols take some digs at his nose and Robert de Niro joke about his age, Hollywood veteran Dustin Hoffman took to the stage of New York's Lincoln Center late Monday and spoke about his sense of failure.

"I became an actor because I believed I was a failure," said Hoffman, this year's honoree at the Center's annual tribute gala.

"And in acting, because so few of us ever get work, I could feel proud and fail with dignity," Hoffman said.

The gala ceremony included clips from his best known movies, including his breakout role in the Nichol-directed "The Graduate," and his Oscar-winning performances in "Kramer vs Kramer" and "Rain Man."

The taciturn De Niro, Hoffman's co-star in last year's comic box-office success "Meet The Fockers," offered a typically brief tribute, in which he made the most of the six years separating him from the senior Hoffman.

"I remember when I was a young kid growing up in New York, how excited I'd get when my parents took me to see Dustin's movies," he joked.

Dustin Hoffman

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Fernando Suarez, father of Jesus Suarez, a Mexican-born U.S. Marine slain in Iraq, during a news conference in Mexico City, Tuesday, April 19, 2005. Fernando Suarez went back to his native Mexico to convince young Mexicans not to immigrate to the United States or allow themselves to be recruited into the U.S. armed services.
Photo by Eduardo Verdugo
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CBS Will Air Wedding

'Survivors'

They fell in love on TV, and their nuptials will be shown on TV.

A two-hour prime-time special on the wedding of Rob Mariano and Amber Brkich, who were cast members on CBS' "Survivor All-Stars," will air May 24 (9 p.m. ET), the network announced Tuesday.

"Boston Rob" Mariano earlier appeared on "Survivor: Marquesas." Brkich was first a castaway on "Survivor: The Australian Outback." They are now contestants on the seventh season of CBS' "The Amazing Race."

'Survivors'

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Alternate Activities

TV-Turnoff Week

Television is accused of many things, from corrupting our morals and co-opting our republic to undermining our families and making pudges of our children. For all sorts of reasons, TV routinely gets kicked around plenty. And now's a great time to kick it altogether - at least, for a week.

That's the idea behind TV-Turnoff Week, which for the 11th year is inviting everyone to "Turn off TV, turn on life." From Monday (April 25) through May 1, you can join as many as eight million other viewers in pulling the plug on TV, the Internet and video games.

A Kaiser Family Foundation survey released in March found third-graders through 12th-graders devoted, on average, nearly six and a half hours per day to TV and videos, music, video games and computers.

TV-Turnoff Week

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bartcook

In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends

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Developing Reality-Talk Show

Fred Durst

Limp Bizkit lead singer Fred Durst is developing a television program that will mix reality TV with a talk show, according to Variety. Durst and a team of producers are working on the program, which is tentatively titled My Life With Fred Durst. The weekly, one-hour show will combine celebrity interviews with reality-style glimpses into Durst's career and personal life. The rap-rocker told Variety, "I just want to have a spontaneous platform to have good conversations with people, who aren't necessarily on the show to sell a movie or product. I'm not interested in being controversial and pushing envelopes."

Durst and his production team will begin pitching the concept to networks this week, although two cable channels are already reportedly interested.

The Limp Bizkit frontman also has a featured supporting role as a Satanist in the next several episodes of the six-part NBC miniseries, Revelations. Durst makes his debut on the second episode, airing this Wednesday (April 20).

Fred Durst

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Physicist Albert Einstein's famous equation E=mc2 is displayed on the 508 meter- ((1,679-foot-) tall Taipei 101, the world's tallest building, as fireworks are set off during an event entitled 'The World Year Of Physics 2005,' Tuesday, April 19, 2005, in Taipei, Taiwan. The display is part of a worldwide campaign in memory of physicist Albert Einstein and marks the 100th anniversary of Einstein's publication of his Theory of Relativity as well as the 50th anniversary of his death.
Photo by Jerome Favre
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Wedding News

Sophia Bush & Chad Michael Murray

Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray, co-stars of the TV series "One Tree Hill," have tied the knot.

They were married Saturday in a seaside ceremony at the Hotel Casa Del Mar in Santa Monica, Bush's publicist, Sarah Fuller, said Monday.

Bush, 22, and Murray, 23, met in 2003 while filming the WB series. She plays feisty cheerleader Brooke Davis and Murray plays Lucas Scott, a brooding intellectual struggling to find peace.

Sophia Bush & Chad Michael Murray

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For NBC News Anchors?

Blogs

NBC could create Internet blogs for its top news anchors and celebrity interviewers as it seeks to maintain the appeal of U.S. network news, its top executive said on Tuesday.

NBC Universal Television Group President Jeff Zucker said entering the generally opinionated world of blogs might be one way television networks could keep their grip on viewers who increasingly use the Internet for news.

"I don't know why Brian Williams isn't blogging right now," Zucker said of the anchor of NBC's top-rated evening news program who took the helm after veteran journalist Tom Brokaw stepped down in December. "We should be looking for a more interactive component ... and be experimenting more."

Blogs

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I'm Pissed
(formerly 'The Vidiot')

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NBC's 'Today' Scapegoat

Tom Touchet

NBC on Tuesday ousted the chief executive behind the "Today" show, with the network's biggest money-maker in a ratings slump and feeling the heat from ABC's "Good Morning America."

The network said it would name a replacement for Tom Touchet, the show's executive producer, on Wednesday. Touchet has had the job since November 2002.

"Today" hasn't spent a week out of first place in the ratings, but NBC's position of unchallenged dominance in the morning has eroded. Its margin over second-place "Good Morning America" is 662,000 viewers this season, roughly half what it was last year.

Tom Touchet

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A girl plays among blooming tulips in the central square of Russia's southern city of Stavropol, April 18, 2005.
Photo by Eduard Kornienko
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TV, Radio To Issue This Summer

Decency Guide

U.S. television and radio broadcasters on Tuesday said they plan this summer to issue guidance on how to avoid violating decency standards with an eye to heading off further regulation by Congress.

A National Association of Broadcasters (NAB) task force is gathering best practices for member stations and plans a consumer awareness effort to try to calm Congress and parent groups growing more concerned about racy programs.

The task force plans to have the guidelines ready for the organization's board to consider in June. The education campaign would focus on ratings and technology to block undesired shows.

Decency Guide

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Paraguayan members of the Maka tribe dance together to celebrate National Indian Day in the city of Mariano Roque Alonso, on the outskirts of Asuncion, April 19, 2005. Paraguayans of indigenous origin celebrated their day around the country.
Photo by Rene Gonzalez
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LA Times Fires Reporter

Eric Slater

The Los Angeles Times said on Tuesday it had fired a staff reporter after a review of two articles he had written about college fraternity hazing found numerous factual errors and quotes that could not be verified.

The dismissal of Eric Slater was reported by the Times at the end of a lengthy editor's note that listed several inaccuracies in the articles and said that "methods used in reporting the story were substandard."

The newspaper initially acknowledged some problems with Slater's piece in a March 31 correction and launched an investigation of the story after questions about its accuracy were raised by local daily the Chico Enterprise-Record.

The Times revealed in its original correction that it got Chico's population wrong; had confused the school's baseball and basketball programs; had mistakenly reported the death of a student at a nearby college who survived; and quoted the university president without revealing that the remarks were taken from comments made to local media.

The paper said additional errors were revealed by its follow-up probe, which included a visit to Chico by one of its editors. In several instances, details of the death reported in the story differed from information in official reports.

Eric Slater

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A replica of an 18th century frigate which is set to sail on a two-year journey to China later this year, passed her first sea trail Monday April 18, 2005. The clipper 'Gotheborg' is scheduled to leave in early October on an international goodwill trip, 260 years after the original sank in her home port in Goteborg harbour. On Monday, it completed a six hour test run in the Goteborg inlet on Swedens southwestern coast, its first real voyage on water. The 530-ton merchant ship modeled after its namesake which sank in 1745 did not have its sails rigged but ran on its two 550 horsepower engines
Photo by Adam Ihse
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Leno Accepts Award

'The Tonight Show'

Jay Leno joked that as the only living host of "The Tonight Show," he was the obvious choice to represent the late-night talk show at its induction into the National Association of Broadcasters Hall of Fame.

Dennis Wharton, spokesman for the National Association of Broadcasters, said "The Tonight Show" earned the hall of fame honor for its "cultural significance" and five decades as "a treasured American television institution."

Leno, who turns 55 next week, will leave "Tonight" in 2009. He will be replaced by "Late Night" host Conan O'Brien.

'The Tonight Show'

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In Memory

Salvador Camarata

Salvador "Tutti" Camarata, who worked with everyone from Bing Crosby to Billie Holiday to teen heartthrob Annette Funicello in a long and distinguished career as a composer, arranger and trumpeter, died Wednesday. He was 91.

In addition to his Big Band work in the 1930s and '40s, Camarata was the musical conductor for several TV series, including "Startime," "The Vic Damone Show" and "The Alcoa Hour." He was also the vocal supervisor for the 1963 movie "Summer Magic," which included musical performances by Hayley Mills and Burl Ives.

Camarata co-founded London Records with Sir Edward Lewis to make classical and pop recordings for U.S. distribution. Among the label's best known artists were the Rolling Stones.

Returning to the United States in the 1950s, he joined with Walt Disney in co-founding Disneyland Records, which recorded such pop stars as Funicello and Mills.

It was there that he helped Funicello, the former "Mickey Mouse Club" mousketeer, develop the vocal style that briefly made her a pop star in the mid-1960s.

In 1960 he opened Sunset Sound Recorders, where the Rolling Stones, Van Halen, Miles Davis and others have recorded. His son Paul currently runs the studio.

He was both lead trumpeter and arranger for Jimmy Dorsey's band, arranging such hits as "Tangerine," "Green Eyes" and "Yours."

Salvador Camarata

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Swiss's Alexandre Colot, left, the developer of the Kamel, the robot jockey, fixes it on the Ghazil, a Qatari camel, during a test-run at the Shahaniah camel race track in Doha, Qatar, Tuesday, April 19, 2005, in the presence of Swiss developers and Qatari officials. Qatar plans to phase out child jockeys, who have long been used in camel races, and replace them with robots.
Photo by Kamran Jebreili
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Welcome !


You have reached the Home page of BartCop Entertainment.
Make yourself home, take your shoes off...
Go ahead, scratch it if it itches.

The idea is to have fun.

Do you have something to say?
Anything that increased your blood pressure, or, even better, amused or entertained?

Do you have a great album no one's heard?
How about a favorite TV show, movie, book, play, cartoon, or legal amusement?
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