We welcome a new year that doesn't look like it could possibly be worse than the last one. We welcome it with open arms because the possibilities are endless, an unfolding drama of global magnitude where all our lives are at stake and it seems we can do nothing against the relentless drive of the egomaniacs who consider themselves the center of the universe.
I can't do anything about them. I can only do something about me.
Most people seem to treat beliefs like an on/off switch, you either believe something or you don't, but I've found it more practical to treat beliefs like a dimmer switch, using a grading system taught to me by Robert Anton Wilson.
He assigned a simple list of 2-9 to every possible thing there was to be believed, deliberately leaving out the numbers one and ten since there is no such thing as absolute certainty. The most you can believe something is nine because you might be wrong. The most you can disbelieve something is two because you might be wrong. You could be a butterfly's dream. The big bang theory? A nine. Immaculate conception? A two. You can't absolutely believe or disbelieve anything because the universe is simply too complex for a mortal brain to comprehend. There are too many pieces (and peaces) missing from the formula to come to unequivocal conclusions about absolutely anything, so the only road to mental health is to rid your belief grading system of the top and bottom numbers in order to allow yourself to change your mind on a dime. Everything is possible. Nothing is incontrovertible.
Changing a tire should be much harder than changing your mind since you actually have to do something. You can change your mind while just sitting there but somehow most people find having to deal with something they thought was indisputable to be infinitely more difficult than dealing with a lug wrench.
People went nuts when Galileo suggested that earth wasn't the center of the universe. They rioted and burnt and pillaged and tortured anyone who dared to consider the possibility that the earth went around the sun instead of vice versa. Why? Because the number ten was in their belief system. If they only assigned a nine to their knowledge that everything in the universe rotated around the human race, they could have said Hmmmm, maybe I was wrong, maybe we're not so important after all. Tell me more, Galileo.
How many times have you gone nuts because you thought s/he loved you or that God was kind? You'd have been much better equipped to get on with your life if you had only assigned these concepts a nine. If something in the real world contradicted your deepest beliefs, you'd be able to adapt your beliefs into something more realistic if you only gave ancient scriptures and heartfelt devotion a nine in the first place.
Just about every major problem mankind faces could be solved by removing one and ten from our belief systems. Nothing would be worth fighting over. No more war, just a lot of very big arguments.
Or so says Robert Anton Wilson who, to the best of my knowledge, has never declared war on anybody.
He also explained that we all have reality tunnels. Life is like a giant Ouija Board and all we can see at one time is what's through the hole in the planchette. If your planchette never moves, that's your reality. You miss the rest of the board and forever remain ignorant of the big picture. Most of mankind falls into that category.
Once again, the road to mental health involves moving your reality tunnel around, expanding your consciousness of all aspects of the board. Like a Ouija Board, it's not a game. Nobody wins or loses. Unlike a Ouija Board, there's nothing mystical about it. You have to consciously move your reality tunnel around to gather more knowledge. Life is more complicated than 3D chess. There are no good solutions that don't examine the whole problem.
Robert Anton Wilson is the smartest man I ever met, totally worthy of emulation. He hasn't died or anything, so I've no excuse for focusing on him other than he popped into my head like a cosmic time bomb, planted years ago and ripe for explosion.
So my one and only resolution for this and all years is not to prejudge, to open my mind to every possibility, to expand my mental database, and to make my reality work from the inside out instead of the outside in.
Your New Year's Resolutions
Sell it all, give the proceeds to charity, and move to Tibet.
Rid yourself of that ratty old thing and get a new one.
Treat yourself to something special.
Learn something.
Call someone who'd like to hear from you.
Run around naked.
Change your mind about something.
Help someone do something.
Reach down into the deepest boroughs of your immortal soul and get me a cup of tea.
"This year we're trying something new," said Academy spokesputz Ira Zentit. "Losers will have to listen to Celine Dion singing My Heart Will Go On and On and On and On."
"The Rose Parade has always been torture," said Rose Parade spokesdick Chester Gigolo. "I don't see what all the fuss is about."
Calling All Parents of Boys
Your boy's high school is bound by a provision of Bush's No Child Left Behind Act to inform the Pentagon about your son's whereabouts when he turns 18. The names are provided to the "Joint Advertising and Marketing Research & Studies Office (JAMRS)" which makes it sound benign. After all, they're only using the names for marketing research. It's possible to "opt out" of the list, which is how they got it passed, since it sounds voluntary. Of course it's only possible to "opt out" if you know the list exists in the first place, which most people don't. The only way you'd know about the possibility of the "Joint Advertising and Marketing Research & Studies Office (JAMRS)" sharing their information with the selective service is that they both happen to have the same address, the Pentagon. I don't know if they have the legal right to share that information, but they're certainly doing it. The Pentagon has created an illegal database of 30 million 16-25 year-olds, including names, addresses, e-mail addresses, cell phone numbers, ethnicities, social security numbers, extracurricular activities, and areas of study. Keep your kid out of it by going to Leave My Child Alone!
Increase Your Vocabulary
Crunk: A Southern variation of hip hop music; also meaning "fun" or "amped."
Mang: Variation of "man," as in "S'up, mang?"
A'ight: All right, as in "That girl is nice, she's a'ight."
Mad: A lot, as in "She has mad money."
Props: Cheers, as in "He gets mad props!"
Bizznizzle: This term for "business" is part of the Snoop Dogg/Sean John-inspired lexicon, as in "None of your bizznizzle!"
Fully: In Australia, an intensive, as in "fully sick."
Fundoo: In India, Hindi for "cool."
Brill!: In the U.K., the shortened form of "brilliant!"
"S'up": Another in an apparently endless number of "whazzup?" permutations.
"Get ready for a minute with 61 seconds. Scientists are delaying the start of 2006 by the first leap second in seven years, a timing tweak meant to make up for changes in the Earth's rotation."
I know what I'm going to do with my extra second. I'm going to donate it to charity. Maybe if they come up with enough extra seconds, they can take back Hurricane Katrina.
They should be held down on the floor, and tickled mercilessly for five minutes.
- Bill Moses
They should each get 42 virgins and a bottomless Exxon card, posthumously. No, wait... let's pay them sub-market wages and make them wear funny clothes and their hair really short, and make them all pretend to be straight whether or not they really are. Or we could exile them to Canada.
- Don Jones
Why punish the guards? Why not punish Bush and Cheney? Let's simply do to them the things that they say are not torture.
- David Bruce
Wait on the facts to come out in a NY Times article before exacting any punishment. It should only take a year.
- Locke Millholland
Oh, and what is it?
Human digestive system.
- Bill Moses
It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.
- Jeff Crook
Another Way
Mankind's ability to share pictures, music, and video, across the board, rich or poor, of every variety and to suit every taste, is a miracle with far greater benefit to society than any individual or corporate need to reap monetary benefits from these transactions. An unfettered internet is as vital a utility as water, electric, and phone. The definition of free trade is no regulations. Artists will find a way of making a living, even with file sharing. If free access, for everyone across the planet, to Beethoven string quartets, Van Gogh portraits, and Paris Hilton videos isn't a worthwhile goal for our species, I don't know what is, and there are plenty of successful business models concerning free services that make money. If Google can figure out how to do it, why can't the music industry?
Let me put it another way.
Screw every one of the slimeball motherfuckers who rob the future to rake it in today. I wouldn't let anyone in the Republican Party or the RIAA lick my balls if they were the last ball lickers in China. The guy in the lifeboat who has been discovered hiding food is the first one to be turned to chops when the sandwiches are all gone. We are a human body, dependent upon every part, when the liver suffers, the body suffers. I can't imagine a punishment big enough for every Marie Antoinette, Barbara Bush megalowannabe who is oblivious to the world outside while having fresh raspberries helicoptered to their yacht. Maybe they need the word SHARE tattooed on their foreheads backwards so every time they look in the mirror they're reminded of the one daily deed that can redeem their worth. Do they have to take acid to conclude that we're all connected, just peas in an Ipod, blips in the universe, or do they simply need to be covered in chopped liver and fed to the bonobos?
Let me put it another way.
What is suitable punishment for the slimeball motherfuckers?
"The word mercy's gonna have a new meaning when we are judged by the children of our slaves."
- Bruce Cockburn -
Knitwits
Howdy!
Regarding last week's Gallery of the week, why someone would knit a model of "the digestive system" is as baffling to me as it is to you. But after looking at the site, I am even more baffled! These folks flunk "Human Anatomy 101." As you scroll down through the pics, I'll explain how they blew it: In this pic what they point to as the "Colon" is the Large Intestine and what they call the "Rectum" is actually the Colon! In this pic they get the identities right but the function wrong. The Liver is not a digestive organ. It is literally "the blood filter." When you drink a beer, it's job is to remove the alcohol from the bloodstream, break it down and metabolize it. The Pancreas produces insulin. And if it doesn't, that's diabetes. Insulin is needed so all of the cells in the body can use the glucose in the blood as "food."
And last, but not least, this pic is where it all really gets messed up. The tongue is not a "digestive organ" either! That makes as much sense as calling the nose "a digestive organ!" The teeth and salivary glands actually begin the digestive process (grind and liquefy). The tongue is primarily a sensory organ (as in one of the five senses). Why this bugs me is that these folks are either trying to be in medicine (or MUCH WORSE actually ARE) or are government school teachers who are teaching kids wrong info...
- Dan W
My Christmas Wish
The Real Thing
"The University of Michigan announced on December 29, 2005, that it has suspended sales of Coca-Cola products after more than a year-long campaign by the Coalition to Cut the Contract with Coca-Cola, a coalition of 20 campus organizations. Since this past May, three of the largest universities have removed and banned the sale of Coke products on their campuses they are the University of Michigan, Rutgers University and New York University.
"Campaign to Stop Killer Coke Director Ray Rogers stated: 'What the students at the University of Michigan have accomplished is another great step forward to force The Coca-Cola Co. to end its massive human rights and environmental abuses. The movement to hold Coke accountable by growing numbers of campuses, human rights and labor organizations throughout Canada, Europe, Latin America, the U.S., and elsewhere, is beyond Coke's control and the Company will continue to suffer heavy losses financially and to its image until it acts responsibly.'
"The Coalition to Cut the Contract with Coca-Cola, while 'elated' with the decision to suspend business with Coke, critically stated: 'the Coalition is concerned that the University still asserts that the Coca-Cola Company is acting in good faith concerning their environmental and human rights abuses. It is our hope that the University will clearly articulate that the contracts were suspended because Coca-Cola is violating the ethical standards of the University and that the Company has done nothing to change."
- Killer Coke: Coke Suffers Another Major Defeat, University of Michigan Suspends Sale of Coke Products, Victory for Student Coalition -
"Coca has been, ancestrally, a sacred leaf. We, the indigenous, have had a profound respect toward it... a respect that includes that we don't 'pisar' it (the verb 'pisar' means to treat the leaves with a chemical substance, one of the first steps in the production of cocaine). In general, we only use it to acullicar: We chew it during times of war, during ritual ceremonies to salute Mother Earth (the Pachamama) or Father Sun or other Aymara divinities, like the hills. Thus, as an indigenous nation, we have never prostituted Mama Coca or done anything artificial to it because it is a mother. It is the occidentals who have prostituted it. It is they who made it into a drug. This doesn't mean that we don't understand the issue. We know that this plague threatens all of humanity and, from that perspective, we believe that those who have prostituted the coca have to be punished."
"Canadian researchers hope to soon be able to use brain waves to unlock doors and get access to bank accounts.
"Some companies are already offering iris recognition systems that many countries want to put into biometric passports. But Julie Thorpe, a researcher at Carleton University in Ottawa wants to take the idea much further.
"She says it is possible to do away with key cards, pin numbers and a litany of other security tools that allow people to retrieve bank money, access computer data or enter restricted building.
"'A user would simply think their password,' said Thorpe, who hopes to develop the first biometric security device to read your mind to authenticate users."
"In a report published in the most recent issue of The Lancet, a group of 12 experts from the Alzheimer's Disease International have predicted, that by 2040, the global incidence of Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia will rise dramatically to 81.1 million."
"Since people with Alzheimer's won't be able to remember their pin numbers, we'll get to keep all their money."
- Canadian bankers -
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know
Retiring to a cruise ship can be cheaper than retiring to a retirement home, and the food's better too.
Don't Take My Word for It
"What a great year it was! And who better to kick off the new year, but Ryan Seacrest, Regis Philbin and Jillian 'Coke Rasp' Barbierri?
"Thank God I switched channels in time to see Regis lead the special New York, New York sing-along, which he dubbed the 'Panasonic Song.' Did you know that the 'Panasonic Song' has become a tradition now in Times Square on New Years Eve? Regis said it is sung every year - shortly before the 'Coca Cola Ball Drop!'
"I was also grateful that ABC knew enough about their audience to realize that we all wanted to watch Maria Carey with some synchronized dancers, who were rappin' in the background as the last few seconds of '05 ticked away. Yeah man, Rap music is what we ALL want and is good family entertainment!
"ABC should also be proud that they squeezed 3 commercial breaks (2 were AT&T) into the last ten minutes of their '05 broadcast and cut to the same AT&T commercial within a minute after the 'Coca Cola Ball' landed. When they weren't raking in the cash from commercial spots, they made certain to keep close camera shots on everyone who was wearing these goofy Chevrolet foam top hats. This ensured that the Chevy Bowtie was in almost every live shot.
"I tried switching channels...more rap. More commercials. NBC? Rap. MTV? Rap. The Bible Channel? Rap. Not one rock show... not even Dick Clarks Rockin' New Year had rock music... or anything worth watching. In fact, Dick Clark's show only had the 2 Carey songs in the half-hour prior to the Coca Cola Ball Drop! What happened to MUSIC?"
"When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it.
"Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
"But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!"
- George Carlin -
"We demand an International Committee of Enquiry in addition to an Iraqi committee formed by representatives of Uleima, Sheikhs and Notables drawn from central and southern Iraq to investigate the crimes committed by the American occupation forces assisted by members of the Interior Special Forces and National Guard. We especially point to the sectarian crimes and the rape of Iraqi women which count as grave precedent in Iraq. The Iraqi Government is partner to all of these crimes in the absence of the media and in particular the killing and kidnapping of journalists by mercenaries of the occupation after terrorizing and excluding satellite stations and Arabic and International media preventing the coverage of what is going on to enable the slaughter of Iraqi people without witnesses..."
"It is commonplace to read each day in the most prestigious newspapers (Financial Times, New York Times, London Times, Washington Post) of Israeli 'retaliation.' The reportage frequently mentions a Palestinian attack on an Israeli colonial settlement in the West Bank or urban population center in Israel. The action and reaction always is located in a limited time frame. Palestinian action is always the initial moment and the Israeli military attack is always described as a response or 'retaliatory' and therefore, presumably a form of defensive action, 'justifiable.' Thus what appears as objective reportage on two sets of military actions, is in fact an arbitrary selection of time frames which lays the basis for a highly biased interpretive framework..."
"1) NASA acknowledges in their Environmental Impact Statement (EIS) for the New Horizons mission that there is a 1 in 300 chance of an accident resulting in release of the plutonium. In the event of such an accident the EIS states that the deadly plutonium could be carried by winds for a 60-mile radius throughout Central Florida. Clean-up costs for a plutonium accident would range from $241 million to $1.3 billion per square mile.
"2) NASA is moving toward a dramatic escalation in the numbers of nuclear launches in the coming years. Everything from nuclear powered bases on the moon to nuclear reactors on rockets to Mars. The Department of Energy (DoE) is now doing a $300 million laboratory expansion in Idaho to produce plutonium for future space missions.
"3) The Pentagon has long stated that they will require nuclear reactors to provide power for space-based weapons. NASA says that each of its space missions will now be dual use, meaning military and civilian at the same time. The obvious next question is what is the military application for nuclear power in space?
"4) At a time of major fiscal crisis in the U.S. why is NASA using public tax dollars to put the lives of the people on Earth at risk?
"5) Why does NASA not invest in development of alternative space power technologies and move away from the use of deadly plutonium?"
"A federal judge has resigned from the court that oversees government surveillance in intelligence cases in protest of President Bush's secret authorization of a domestic spying program, according to two sources.
"U.S. District Judge James Robertson, one of 11 members of the secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, sent a letter to Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. late Monday notifying him of his resignation without providing an explanation.
"James Robertson sent his resignation to the chief justice.
"Two associates familiar with his decision said yesterday that Robertson privately expressed deep concern that the warrantless surveillance program authorized by the president in 2001 was legally questionable and may have tainted the FISA court's work...
Word of Robertson's resignation came as two Senate Republicans joined the call for congressional investigations into the National Security Agency's warrantless interception of telephone calls and e-mails to overseas locations by U.S. citizens suspected of links to terrorist groups. They questioned the legality of the operation and the extent to which the White House kept Congress informed."
"Instead of investigating President Bush for breaking the law by illegally spying without the required warrant from the court, the justice department has opened an investigation into who is leaking that Bush was breaking the law to the press. 'We are opening an investigation into the unauthorized disclosure of classified materials related to the NSA,' an official said on condition of anonymity. So the Bush Justice department is leaking to the press that they are opening an investigation into leaking to the press. Bush logic never ceases to amaze me."
"I want for our country enough laws to restrain me from injuring others, so that these laws will also restrain others from injuring me. I want enough government, with enough constitutional safeguards, so that this necessary minimum of laws will be applied equitably to everybody, and will be binding on the rulers as well as those ruled. Beyond that I want neither laws nor government to be imposed on our people as a means or with the excuse of protecting us from catching cold, or of seeing that we raise the right kind of crops, or of forcing us to live in the right kind of houses or neighborhoods, or of compelling us to save money or to spend it, or of telling us when or whether we can pray. I do not want government or laws designed for any other form of welfarism or paternalism, based on the premise that government knows best and can run our lives better than we can run them ourselves. And my concept of freedom, and of its overwhelming importance, is implicit in these aspirations and ideals."
- Robert Welch: Founder of the John Birch Society -
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
- Ronald Reagan -
"Patriotism does not mean support of your government. Patriotism does mean support of your liberties. Patriotism only means support of your government in exactly those instances where your government supports your liberties."
- John Perna -
"Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't let our people have guns. Why should we let them have ideas?"
- Joseph Stalin -
"When we speak of the 'defense of humanity,' as we do at this event, I think that this only happens by eliminating neo-liberalism and imperialism. But I think that in this we are not so alone, because we see, every day that anti-imperialist thinking is spreading, especially after Bush's bloody 'intervention' policy in Iraq. Our way of organizing and uniting against the system, against the empire's aggression towards our people, is spreading, as are the strategies for creating and strengthening the power of the people."
"Most Americans agree - at a rate of well over 75 percent according to most polls - that abortion should be legal in most circumstances, but especially in cases of the mother's health or rape. Most Americans believe that when a woman has been raped, or if she's likely to die as a result of giving birth, terminating pregnancy should be an option. Not Jeb Bush."
"The days of the Raj are long gone, but multinational corporations are riding high on the trend toward globalization by taking advantage of India's educated work force and deep poverty to turn South Asia into the world's largest clinical-testing petri dish.
"The sudden influx of drug companies to India resembles the gold rush frontier, according to Sean Philpott, managing editor of The American Journal of Bioethics. 'Not only are research costs low, but there is a skilled work force to conduct the trials,' he said. In the rush to reap profits, Philpott cautions that drug companies may not be sensitive to how poverty can undermine the spirit of informed consent."
."Mr. Secretary [Rumsfeld], I watched President Bush deliver a moving speech at the United Nations in September 2003, in which he mentioned the crisis of the sex trade. The President called for the punishment of those involved in this horrible business. But at the very moment of that speech, DynCorp was exposed for having been involved in the buying and selling of young women and children. While all of this was going on, DynCorp kept the Pentagon contract to administer the smallpox and anthrax vaccines, and is now working on a plague vaccine through the Joint Vaccine Acquisition Program. Mr. Secretary, is it [the] policy of the U.S. Government to reward companies that traffic in women and little girls?"
"From all the indications we have studied it seems that the Patriot Act is intentionally destined to fail so that when the Globalists carry out a terror attack they can blame 'civil liberties advocates' for preventing them from keeping the general public safe and then reject out of hand criticism of all future police state legislation that they pass.
"Neo-Cons who have received their uniform talking points memo are all over the radio bragging, 'you just wait until there's another attack, you'll be in the forced labor camps'. We have heard this from Michael Savage and many others of his ilk on numerous occasions.
"Why do they need the Patriot Act to fail? Because if the Globalists carry out another terror attack right now, people will be inclined to say that the existing Patriot Act powers were in the hands of the government and they failed to protect us, thus discrediting the police state legislation."
"A can't-pass measure has been added to a must-pass measure in order for the Republicans to give an early huge Christmas gift to the oil companies of the United States"
"They are saying, 'Trust us, we are following the law.' Give me a break. Across the country and across the political spectrum, no one is buying it anymore. There is no accountability. There is no oversight. This is Big Brother run amok."
"When law and morality contradict each other, the citizen has the cruel alternative of either losing his moral sense or losing his respect for the law."
- Frederic Bastiat -
"We have a police state far beyond anything George Orwell imagined in his book 1984. The everyday lives of virtually every American are under scrutiny 24-hours-a-day by the government."
- Susan Morrissey -
"The cruel abuse of terror suspects is sanctioned and approved from on high, and we employed it in Abu Ghraib (the worst evidence of which we will probably never see), and we use it in Eastern Europe and Guantanamo and in secret prisons, and it has caused the deaths of countless detainees. And Rumsfeld's insane level of Defense Department secrecy means we may never even know exactly how brutal we have become... The United States has the most WMDs of anyone in the world. We imprison and kill more of our own citizens than any other Western nation. We still employ horrific, napalm-like chemical weapons."
"Iraqi security forces captured Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the leader of al-Qa'eda in Iraq, last year but freed him because they did not realize who he was, the Iraqi government said yesterday. Maj Gen. Hussein Kamal, the deputy interior minister, said that Zarqawi, the country's most wanted man, was detained in Fallujah, the former insurgent stronghold recaptured by US troops last November, and questioned for three to four hours."
"He was 'let go' so that he could continue to carry out attacks, so that Halliburton and Blackwater USA could continue to collect billions to 'rebuild' that which was destroyed."
- Xarvon, Alien Investigator -
"The United States government reportedly began coordinating with NATO its plans for a possible military attack against Iran. The German newspaper Der Tagesspiegel collected various reports from the German media indicating that the North Atlantic Treaty Organization are examining the prospects of such a strike. According to the report, CIA Director Porter Goss, in his last visit to Turkey on December 12, requested Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan to provide military bases to the United States in 2006 from where they would be able to launch an assault."
"Students who have taken more mathematics courses are more proficient at math than other students. The same is true in English, foreign language studies, and almost every other subject. Only in history is stupidity the result of more, not less, schooling."
- James W. Loewen: Lies My Teacher Told Me -
"As a subject for research, the possibility of African discovery of America has never been a tempting one for American historians. In a sense, we choose our own history, or more accurately, we select those vistas of history for our examinations which promise us the greatest satisfaction, and we have had little appetite to explore the possibility that our founding father was a black man."
- Samuel D. Marble: Before Columbus -
"Considering that virtually none of the standard fare surrounding Thanksgiving contains an ounce of authenticity, historical accuracy, or cross-cultural perception, why is it so apparently ingrained? Is it necessary to the American psyche to perpetually exploit and debase its victims in order to justify its history?"
- Michael Dorris: Why I'm Not Thankful for Thanksgiving -
"Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration."
- Abraham Lincoln -
"Ten men in our country could but the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat."
- Will Rogers -
"If there's no wound on the hand, that hand can hold poison. Poison won't penetrate where there's no wound. There's no evil for those who don't do it."
- Dhammapada, 9 -
"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality." - Albert Einstein -
"The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois." - Gustave Flaubert -
"Take heed that when effort is too strenuous it leads to strain and when too slack to laziness. So make a firm determination that you will adopt the middle way, not allowing yourself to struggle or to slacken, but recognizing that faith, energy, mindfulness, concentration, and wisdom are the fruits of a calm and equable way."
- Theragatha -
"When a person responds to the joys and sorrows of others as if they were his own, he has attained the highest state of spiritual union."
- Bhagavad Gita 6:32 -
"The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven."
- Mark Twain -
"Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd." - Allan Goldfein -
"Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught."
- Sir Winston Churchill -
"Arctic sea ice is melting fast. There was 20 percent less of it than normal this summer, and as Dr. Mark Serreze, one of the researchers from Colorado's National Snow and Ice Data Center, told reporters, 'the feeling is we are reaching a tipping point or threshold beyond which sea ice will not recover.' That is particularly bad news because it creates a potent feedback effect: instead of blinding white ice that bounces sunlight back into space, there is now open blue water that soaks up the sun's heat, amplifying the melting process.
"In the tundra of Siberia, other researchers report that permafrost has begun to melt rapidly, and, as it does, formerly frozen methane - which, like the more prevalent carbon dioxide, acts as a heat-trapping 'greenhouse gas' is escaping into the atmosphere. In some places last winter, the methane bubbled up so steadily that puddles of standing water couldn't freeze even in the depths of the Russian winter.
"British researchers, examining almost six thousand soil borings across the UK, found another feedback effect. Warmer temperatures (growing seasons now last eleven days longer at that latitude) meant that microbial activity had increased dramatically in the soil. This, in turn, meant that much of the carbon long stored in the soil was now being released into the atmosphere. The quantities were large enough to negate all the work that Britain had done to switch away from coal to reduce carbon in the atmosphere. 'All the consequences of global warming will occur more rapidly,' said Guy Kirk, chief scientist on the study. 'That's the scary thing. The amount of time we have got to do something about it is smaller than we thought.'"
"Scientists are by training and nature conservative and...have probably underestimated our impact. Fifty years from now â€" I hope I'm wrong â€" I think you may be living in a world where you don't go outside between one and four in the afternoon."
- James McCarthy quoted in the above article -
"Iraqis of all stripes say they are the descendants of Mesopotamia, the glorious great-grandchildren of the cradle of civilization.
"Iraq, they point out, gave birth to law and the written word. And asked their faith, Iraqis often testily answer with the refrain: 'There is no Sunni. There is no Shiite. We are all Iraqi.'
"But the preliminary election results, which have trickled out through a series of haphazard leaks and news conferences and remain disputed by all parties, show a nation starkly fragmented into ethnic and religious cantons with different aims and visions.
"Nine out of 10 Iraqis in the Shiite Muslim provinces of the south voted for religious Shiite parties, according to the early results from the Independent Electoral Commission of Iraq. Nine out of 10 Iraqis in Sunni Muslim Arab areas of central and western Iraq voted for Sunni parties. Nine out of 10 Iraqis in the Kurdish provinces of the north voted for Kurdish candidates. Nationwide, only about 9% voted for tickets that purported to represent all Iraqis."
"We have to face the unpleasant as well as the affirmative side of the human story, including our own story as a nation, our own stories of our peoples. We have got to have the ugly facts in order to protect us from the official view of reality."
- Bill Moyers -
"If we do not speak of it, others will surely rewrite the script. Each of the body bags, all of the mass graves will be reopened and their contents abracadabraed into a noble cause."
- George Swiers, Vietnam veteran -
"God has not been preparing the English speaking and Teutonic peoples for a thousand years for nothing... He has given us the spirit of progress to overwhelm the forces of reaction throughout the earth. He has made us adept in government that we may administer government among savage and senile peoples... And of all our race He has marked the American people as His chosen nation to finally lead in the redemption of the world."
- Senator Albert J. Beveridge, 1900 -
"One of the basic troubles with radio and television news is that both instruments have grown up as an incompatible combination of show business, advertising and news. Each of the three is a rather bizarre and demanding profession. And when you get all three under one roof, the dust never settles. The top management of the networks with a few notable exceptions, has been trained in advertising, research, sales or show business. But by the nature of the corporate structure, they also make the final and crucial decisions having to do with news and public affairs. Frequently they have neither the time nor the competence to do this. It is not easy for the same small group of men to decide whether to buy a new station for millions of dollars, build a new building, alter the rate card, buy a new Western, sell a soap opera, decide what defensive line to take in connection with the latest Congressional inquiry, how much money to spend on promoting a new program, what additions or deletions should be made in the existing covey or clutch of vice-presidents, and at the same time - frequently on the same long day - to give mature, thoughtful consideration to the manifold problems that confront those who are charged with the responsibility for news and public affairs."
- Edward R. Murrow: 1958 -
"It is becoming increasingly apparent that we shall not have the benefits of this world for much longer. The imminent and expected destruction of the life cycle of world ecology can only be prevented by a radical shift in outlook from our present naive conception of this world as a testing ground to a more mature view of the universe as a comprehensive matrix of life forms."
- Vine Deloria, Jr. -
William Jennings Bryan: "I do not think about the things I do not think about."
Clarence Darrow: "Do you ever think about the things you do think about?"
- Inherit the Wind -
"Bush wanted to bomb Al-Jazeera headquarters in Qatar. This British report was squelched by the Official Secrets Act, but not before it caused a sensation around the world due to its detailed plausibility--except in the US, where corporate media dismissed the allegation out of hand.
"Republican corruption scandals. Some four dozen Congressmen, mostly Republican, have been confirmed as taking money from Jack Abramoff or his clients at about the same time they took legislative action favorable to Abramoff or his clients. Tom DeLay and Jack Abramoff are just the tip of the iceberg, but our compliant press has trouble seeing even that much. Now the Supreme Court is reviewing the Texas redistricting scheme that helped the Republicans win a bigger majority in the House--a scheme that was undertaken by the Republicans after their own Justice Department had ruled it unconstitutional. This should be a much bigger scandal than it currently is.
"Failures of Homeland Security: Hurricane Katrina, racism, and the gutting of FEMA. This was a huge story that, while briefly covered extensively by the US press, disappeared from the mix far too quickly and without enough analysis. And both the corruption of rebuilding contacts and the complete subsequent abandonment of New Orleans by the Feds have received virtually no attention.
"The Israeli withdrawal from Gaza and its fallout on Israeli and Palestinian politics is more important to Middle Eastern peace than anything happening in the War on Terror, yet the US press has difficulty covering Israeli and Palestinian politics beyond the latest suicide bombing. Likewise, the Palestinian elections, with the split in the Fatah Party and electoral gains by Hamas, have received almost no coverage here, nor has Ariel Sharon's split from Likud (the party he co-founded). Major shifts are happening in a very important part of the world, and Americans are oblivious. And the passive White House enabling of whatever Sharon wants to do has also received no attention."
"In 1918, the President's grandfather, Prescott Bush, and several accomplices desecrated the grave of Apache holy man Geronimo at Ft. Sill, OK. The men removed Geronimo's head and a prized silver bridle which had been buried with him. Using acid and amid laughter, they stripped Geronimo's head of hair and flesh. They then took their 'trophies' back to Yale University and put them on display in the clubhouse of the secret fraternity 'Skull & Bones.'
"The 'Skull & Bones' is a secret society founded at Yale in 1832. Its history is intertwined with that of the German Illuminati and the Nazi Party. They maintain a windowless building called 'The Tomb' at 64 High Street, New Haven, Connecticut. The club's assets are controlled by a front company, The Russell Trust Association, Inc. Every year, 15 Yale juniors are 'tapped' for Skull & Bones membership. They are indoctrinated into the cultish society with elaborate rituals steeped in satanic theatricism and latent homosexuality. The goal of this fraternity is to create the ultimate network of 'good ol' boys' around the world. Their alumni includes Prescott Bush's son (George H. W.) and grandson (George W.) as well as heads of state and leaders of numerous intelligence agencies, trading companies, business empires and law firms.
"Several years ago, a Skull & Bones member anonymously 'leaked' information regarding the society and 'The Tomb.' This included documents and photographs. One of the documents detailed Prescott Bush's grave-robbing exploits. One of the photographs was of a skull and bridle on a shelf, next to a framed photograph of Geronimo. Other sources have since come forward and confirmed that Geronimo's skull is indeed on display in "The Tomb" and considered the 'mascot' of this 'club' on High Street."
"Once you have learned how to ask questions - relevant and appropriate and substantial questions - you have learned how to learn and no one can keep you from learning whatever you want or need to know."
- Neil Postman and Charles Weingartner: Teaching as a Subversive Activity -
"How a politician stands on the Second Amendment tells you how he or she views you as an individual... as a trustworthy and productive citizen, or as part of an unruly crowd that needs to be lorded over, controlled, supervised, and taken care of."
- Texas State Rep. Suzanna Gratia-Hupp -
"The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant."
- John Stuart Mill -
"Our great human adventure is the evolution of consciousness. We are in this life to enlarge the soul, liberate the spirit, and light up the brain."
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form, preferably parchment. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.
Sanford Pinsker: Student Pressure and Your Average English Department (irascibleprofessor.com)
If African-American students once demanded that their literature be taught -- and taught by African-American professors -- and if feminists once argued that the English curriculum was dominated by dead, white males and that courses in feminist literature needed to be added, and taught be feminist professors, what makes the appeals of born-again Christians for courses on Christian literature taught by committed Christians so different?
Jack Shafe: Exactly how many words did the Sage of Baltimore write? (slate.com)
What makes [H.L.] Mencken's accomplishment memorable is not that he averaged 2,000 words a week, or even that he did it for 50 years, but that he produced brilliant copy in nearly every outing. His final word count would surely have been greater-if not 70 million-had he not also simultaneously edited publications for several decades.
Have you seen the amazing pictures of this guy and the things he carves from wood (including cars)?! I sent some pictures of his work to several friends, and the amazing Mike found more about him. Thought you might find it interesting/amusing.
Here he is - Livio de Marchi.
..and
HERE is the link to a profile of his life and works, complete with more photos, personal background info, etc.
Something's come up & have to make a quick run to Sacramento.
Added 2 new flags - Estonia and Cayman Islands (bringing the total to 107).
Tonight, Tuesday:
CBS begins the night with a RERUN'NCIS', followed by another RERUN'NCIS', then '48 Hours'.
Scheduled on a FRESHDave are Bill 'Loofah' O'Really and Eric Bana.
Scheduled on a FRESHCraig are Fred Willard, Connie Shultz, and Wolf Parade.
NBC starts the night with a FRESH'Fear Factor', followed by the SEASON PREMIERE'Scrubs', then a FRESH'Scrubs', followed by a FRESH'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESHLeno are Philip Seymour Hoffman, Noelle Pikus-Pace, and John Mayer Trio.
Scheduled on a FRESHConan O'Brien are Quentin Tarantino, Nick Swardson, and John Legend.
On a RERUNCarson Daly (from 12/15/05) are Dermot Mulroney, Brittany Snow, and Louis XIV.
ABC fills the night with LIVE'College Football - The Orange Bowl'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Kimmel are The Rev. Al Sharpton and sportscaster Kenny Mayne.
The WB offers a RERUN'Gilmore Girls', followed by a RERUN'Beauty & The Geek'.
Faux has a RERUN'Bones', followed by a RERUN'House'.
UPN fills the night with the movie 'Devil's Pond'.
Check local PBS listings for the SEASON PREMIERE'Nova'.
A&E has 'Cold Case Files', 'Rampage Killers: Signs', 'Dog The Bounty Hunter', another 'Dog The Bounty Hunter', and 'Rollergirls'.
AMC offers the movie 'Say Anything...', followed by the movie 'How Stella Got Her Groove Back' (heh - time for a sequel), then the movie 'Hanging Up'.
BBC -
[2pm] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - How to Recognize Different Parts of the Body;
[2:40pm 'The Smoking Room' - Episode 7;
[3:20pm 'The Smoking Room' - Episode 8;
[4pm 'At Home with the Braithwaites' - Episode 4;
[5pm 'Monarch of the Glen' - Episode 4;
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'House Invaders' - Episode 8;
[7pm] 'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 34;
[8pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Spurrey;
[9pm] 'Bad Girls' - Episode 8;
[10pm] 'Mile High' - Episode 11;
[11pm] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - How to Recognize Different Parts of the Body;
[11:40pm] 'Kumars at No. 42' - Robin Gibb;
[12:20am] 'Kumars at No. 42' - Jennifer Saunders;
[1am] 'Bad Girls' - Episode 8;
[2am] 'Mile High' - Episode 11;
[3am] 'Red Cap' - Ep. 1 Betrayed;
[4am] 'Red Cap' - Ep. 2 Stalker;
[5am] 'Red Cap' - Ep. 3 Red Light;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Project Runway', 'Queer Eye', and another 'Queer Eye'.
Comedy Central has 'Comedy Central Presents', 'Reno 911!', an old 'Jon Stewart', an old 'Colbert Report', 'Chappelle's Show', 'South Park', another 'Chappelle's Show', and 'Mind Of Mencia'.
On a RERUNJon Stewart is Tom Brokaw.
On a RERUNColbert Report is Craig Crawford.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Mail Call', another 'Mail Call', 'Engineering Disasters 17', and another 'Modern Marvels'.
IFC -
[8AM] Central Station (1998);
[10AM] Spring Forward (1999);
[12PM] Shadow of China (1990);
[1:45PM] IFC in Theaters (2005);
[4PM] Running With The Bulls (2003);
[5PM] Spring Forward (1999);
[7:15PM] Bodies, Rest and Motion (1993);
[9PM] The Eye (2002);
[10:45PM] IFC in Theaters (2005);
[11PM] Hopeless Pictures #2 (2005);
[11:15PM] Greg the Bunny: "Daddyhood" (2005);
[11:30PM] Dinner For Five #40 (2005);
[12AM] Hopeless Pictures #1 (2005);
[12:30AM] Greg the Bunny: "The 13th Step" (2005);
[12:35AM] Dinner For Five #42 (2005);
[1:05AM] The Eye (2002);
[3AM] Hopeless Pictures #2 (2005);
[3:15AM] Greg the Bunny: "Daddyhood" (2005);
[3:30AM] Dinner For Five #40 (2005);
[4AM] Hopeless Pictures #1 (2005);
[4:30AM] Greg the Bunny: "The 13th Step" (2005);
[4:42AM] Dinner For Five #42 (2005). (ALL TIMES EST)
SciFi has the movie 'The Breed', followed by the movie 'Queen Of The Damned'.
Sundance -
[6:05AM] In Short: Festival 2;
[6:45AM] Gerry;
[8:30AM] Paradise Alley;
[10:30AM] The Corporation;
[1PM] New Waterford Girl;
[2:45PM] Star Wars Dreams;
[3:45PM] Life, Liberty and The Pursuit of Happiness;
[4PM] Paradise Alley;
[6PM] Iconoclasts: Jackson on Russell;
[6:45PM] 2 + 2;
[7PM] Gerry;
[8:45PM] Bobbycrush;
[9PM] Duel;
[10:35PM] Star Wars Dreams;
[11:30PM] I Am NOT an ANIMAL: London Calling;
[12AM] Tarnation;
[1:35AM] AKA;
[3:30AM] Duel;
[5AM] New Waterford Girl. (ALL TIMES EST)
In this photo released by the Hard Rock Cafe, David Johansen, lead singer of the New York Dolls, performs during ESPN's New Year's Eve concert at the Hard Rock Cafe, Saturday, Dec. 31, 2005, in New York.
Photo by Diane Bondareff
"A Prairie Home Companion," director Robert Altman's screen adaptation of the longtime Garrison Keillor radio program, will open this year's South by Southwest film festival in Austin, Texas.
The movie, featuring Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, Meryl Streep, Lindsay Lohan and Keillor himself, will make its North American premiere on March 10, festival organizers said Monday. The film is scheduled to arrive in theaters in June.
The South by Southwest film festival, scheduled to run through March 18, also will feature the United States premiere of "The Notorious Bettie Page," starring Gretchen Mol as the famed pin-up girl; "loudQUIETloud: A Film About Pixies," a documentary about the rock band the Pixies' reunion tour; and "The King," starring William Hurt and Gael Garcia Bernal in a family drama set in small-town Texas.
Police aren't sure how else to explain it. But when an officer walked into an apartment Thursday night to answer a 911 call, an orange-and-tan striped cat was lying by a telephone on the living room floor. The cat's owner, Gary Rosheisen, was on the ground near his bed having fallen out of his wheelchair.
Officer Patrick Daugherty said police received a 911 call from Rosheisen's apartment, but there was no one on the phone. Police called back to make sure everything was OK, and when no one answered, they decided to check things out.
That's when Daugherty found Tommy next to the phone.
Rosheisen got the cat three years ago to help lower his blood pressure. He tried to train him to call 911, unsure if the training ever stuck.
"Tonight Show" announcer John Melendez is a father for a third time.
Oscar David Melendez weighed 8 pounds, 2 ounces when he was born Sunday just after midnight. He was believed to be the first baby born in the San Fernando Valley in 2006.
Trader Joe's 'Adventure' float drives down Colorado Boulevard during the 117th annual Rose Parade in Pasadena, California January 2, 2006. This year marked only the 17th time in the Rose Parade's history it has been held on January 2 and the first time that rain has fallen on the parade since 1955.
Photo by Lucas Jackson
The same Pentagon contractor that paid Iraqi newspapers to print positive articles written by US soldiers has also been paying Sunni religious scholars in Iraq for assistance with propaganda work, The New York Times reports.
In its Monday edition, the paper said that the Lincoln Group, a Washington-based public relations firm, was told early in 2005 by the Pentagon "to identify religious leaders who could help produce messages that would persuade Sunnis in violence-ridden Anbar Province to participate in national elections and reject the insurgency," citing an unidentified former employee.
According to the Times, internal financial records show that Lincoln spent about 144,000 dollars on the program from May to September, though it was not clear "how much of this money, if any, went to the religious scholars, whose identities could not be learned."
Ducks swim in a river amid snowfall in Srinagar January 2, 2006. Srinagar, the summer capital of Indian-administered Kashmir, on Monday witnessed the season's first snowfall.
Photo by Fayaz Kabli
Stonehenge is the only remaining British contender in a global poll to decide the seven wonders of the modern world.
The seven wonders of the ancient world were listed by Philon of Byzantium in 200BC. The sites, all in or near the Mediterranean basin, were essentially a tourist guide for Athenians.
Included was the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt, the only ancient wonder still standing. It has made it into the new shortlist and so stands to be among the new seven wonders of the modern world too.
The 21 finalists are: The Acropolis, Athens; Alhambra, Spain; Angkor, Cambodia; Chichen Itza, Mexico; Christ Redeemer, Rio de Janeiro; Colosseum, Italy; Easter Island statues, Chile; Eiffel Tower, France; Great Wall, China; Hagia Sophia, Turkey; Kyomizu Temple, Japan; Kremlin, Russia; Machu Picchu, Peru; Neuschwanstein Castle, Germany; Petra, Jordan; Pyramids of Giza, Egypt; Statue of Liberty, New York; Stonehenge, UK; Sydney Opera House, Australia; Taj Mahal, India; Timbuktu, Mali.
Candy Barr, a well-known exotic dancer from the 1950s who settled into a quiet small-town life in Texas, has died.
She was 70. The Texas native died Friday of pneumonia at a hospital, the Abilene Reporter-News newspaper reported in Sunday editions. Barr rose to prominence as an exotic dancer in Dallas in the late 1950s and was associated with nightclub owner Jack Ruby, who was accused of gunning down Lee Harvey Oswald, the man suspected of assassinating President John Kennedy.
At 16, Barr starred in one of the most notorious stag movies, Smart Alec, in 1951. She was known for her choreography and trained actress Joan Collins for the 1960 movie Seven Thieves.
Her career was derailed in 1959 when she was sentenced to 15 years in prison by a Dallas judge for possessing less than an ounce of marijuana. She served about three years and later moved to Brownwood, Texas.
Siberian tiger, Serge, 11, shows his teeth at the Little Rock Zoo, Monday, Jan. 2, 2006, in Little Rock, Ark. In a swap, the Little Rock Zoo is sending Serge and his brother Dmitri to the Minnesota Zoo, with the first leaving Tuesday, because the steamy Arkansas summers have been deemed uncomfortable for the breed. Serge will be the first tiger moved to Minnesota and Dmitri should follow in the next few months, zoo officials said. The Little Rock Zoo is to receive a pair of Indo-Chinese tigers from the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Neb., in exchange for Siberian brothers Serge and Dmitri, who have lived in Arkansas since 1996.
Photo by Mike Wintroath
You have reached the Home page of BartCop Entertainment.
Make yourself home, take your shoes off...
Go ahead, scratch it if it itches.
The idea is to have fun.
Do you have something to say?
Anything that increased your blood pressure, or, even better,
amused or entertained?
Do you have a great album no one's heard?
How about a favorite TV show, movie, book, play, cartoon, or legal amusement?
A popular artist that just plain pisses you off?
A box set the whole world should own?
Vile, filthy rumors about Republican musicians?
Just plain vile, filthy rumors?
This is your place.
(In other words, submissions are welcome.)
Send mail to Marty
( SuprmChaos at yahoo dot com )
