BartCop Entertainment Archives - Thursday, 16 June, 2005
Thursday
16 June, 2005
(Updated Daily)
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Issue #156
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
Issue #156
is brought to you by
Musical News
All the News that's Fit to Sing
Michael's Song
They can play in his park unafraid
Michael is not trying to get laid
And if they should chance to spend the night
He'll respect their innocent delight
He can write a tune that's nice and lilty
You can never prove that he is guilty
He can make an plausible rebuttal
All he ever wants to do is cuddle
He has made a promise you can trust
The jury gave a verdict that was just
He will have to wait till they are men
Michael swoons
with a bunch of hairy ass baboons
Michael shouts
Underneath his worries and his doubts
Michael laughs
with an ocelot and two giraffes
Michael hurls
at the thought of touching little girls
When he goes to court he always wins
He won't go to jail for his sins
In his brain there is a major glitch
He won't be another convict's bitch
When it comes to ten o'clock or more
Michael's gonna moon walk out the door
One hand clapping will be Michael's Zen
Newsical Muse
Michael Jackson in happier days
Might I mention that every parent on earth has shared their bed with their children, so it is basically an acceptable activity, only bad when it goes too far. Unfortunately, one of the first signs that an adult has gone too far is that they have shared their bed with their children, so an acceptable activity is often used as evidence against them.
I've faced some of the same charges as Michael Jackson, having to defend myself for the heinous crime of sleeping with children, and I was guilty. Any parent who turns down their kid who wants to crawl into bed with them when they've had a nightmare is an asshole. All I could say to the court was Yeah, and so what? You want to infer something, infer it. There was nothing they could do because in cases like these, only the participants know for sure if the activity was innocent, and innocence is so much harder to prove. Try proving to a judge or jury that you didn't scratch your head yesterday. Only when it's other people's children and you're a rock star with unacceptable plastic surgery does it begin to look peculiar.
My case was chickenshit next to Michael's. I wasn't on trial for touching children who came to my amusement park and spent the night. That would demand a different tactic, and it seemed to me there was only one perfect defense - Michael had to be seen out on the town with some righteous babes to prove his heterosexual gusto. These charges would never stick against Kid Rock because we know he's bangin' the hell out of Pamela Anderson. I mean if Michael Jackson isn't fucking these children, then who's he fucking? Nobody? Unlikely. He needed to answer the question in a blatantly heterosexual manner. I expected to see him on the cover of People, drunk at a strip club with his paws on Paris Hilton but no, Michael obviously nixed that strategy because he couldn't, not even for one simple photo shoot, pretend he was interested in fucking adult women.
And he got off anyway. They couldn't prove their case because, damn it, Michael was smart enough not to leave any DNA in any innocent orifices. Of course they couldn't prove it. Neither side could prove anything. I don't think the jury found him innocent. I think they found him guilty but didn't give a fuck. It was jury nullification. They judged the law, not Michael. Yeah, he did it. So what? What are amusement parks for if not to give pleasure to children, and who knows what makes kids happy these days?
"For more than six hundred years - that is, since Magna Carta, in 1215 - there has been no clearer principle of English or American constitutional law, than that: in criminal cases, it is not only the right and duty of juries to judge what are the facts, what is the law, and what was the moral intent of the accused; but that it is also their right, and their primary and paramount duty, to judge the justice of the law, and to hold all laws invalid that are, in their opinion, unjust or oppressive, and all persons guiltless in violating, or resisting the execution of such laws."
I Feel So Much Safer Now
Sophistimicated Doowacky of the Week
There is a simple way of making lost or stolen mobiles useless to thieves and the phone companies know about it, but keep it quiet.
To check your mobile phone's serial number, key in the following on your phone:
star-hash-zero-six-hash ( * # 0 6 # )
and a fifteen digit code will appear on the screen. This is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it safe. Should your mobile phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset, so even if the thief changes the sim card, your phone will be totally useless.
Google Searches on the Word "Downplay"
(81,300 hits for "white house downplays")
White House downplays Climate Report Edits
White House downplays Pentagon Quran Report
White House downplays job predictions
White House Downplays Missing Arms Report
White House downplays role of faulty report
White House downplays differences with Afghan president
White House downplays demonstrations on first lady's trip
White House downplays intelligence view on Iraq
White House downplays Bush-Lay relationship
White House downplays reports that country gave weapons plans to Pakistan
White House Downplays Roswell UFO Connection
White House downplays Newsweek report
White House downplays talk of Pak-US F-16 deal
US downplays hopes for postwar economic surge
US downplays report on Guantanamo prisoner abuse
U.S. Downplays Importance of Iraqi Voter Turnout
White House downplays the need to borrow money
Bush Downplays Fallout from Saddam Pix
Rumsfeld downplays success of weapons inspections
The White House downplays any concern about rebellion in this town
White House downplays effects of mercury from coal-fired power plants
White House downplays deal with commentator
White House memo downplays Role of CIA Chief
Rumsfeld Downplays Resistance in Iraq
Rumsfeld Downplays Prisoner Treatment
US downplays Allawi charge after massacre of recruits in Iraq
US Downplays NK Fuel Rod Removal
White House downplays the terrorist threat
Bush downplays the mortal price of war
US downplays rift with Iraq Shia
Rice downplays Ukraine pullout
US Downplays Chinese Threats Against Taiwan
Bush Downplays Data
Bible Lesson from Hell
"Dr. Edwards explains that it would have been impossible for Noah's sons to travel to the four corners of the earth to areas that were previously inaccessible on foot. 'Noah and his sons had to collect two of every single creature on the face of the planet,' he says. 'We're talking about a big haul here. At first we just attributed it to what Creation Scientists call, the Holy Finger Snapping Theory. That's where God snaps his fingers and just makes it so.' Edwards points out that Creation Scientists are still unanimous in attributing the fact that Noah was able to load 100 million plus animals onto a 450 foot ark 'in the selfsame day' (Genesis 7:13-14) to the Finger Snapping Theory. In the case of how the animals were collected from remote regions of the world in the first place however, recent archeological finds indicate that Noah's sons were able to tame giant flying dinosaurs and in turn, load them up with food supplies and hitch rides for long trips around the world to China, South America, Australia, Greenland, and the North Pole."
Stupid Answers of the Week
Last week's question...
I understand why Carl's Jr. thinks I'll eat there due to an ad campaign of Paris Hilton washing cars and some men who would starve if not for them, but someone's got to explain to me why Del Taco thinks I'll eat there due to an ad campaign whose entire concept is "Our spokesman is an idiot."
Our pResident is a baboon like imbecilic twit, and lots of people think he's the cat's meow. So Del Taco figures showing an idiot spokesperson is the way to get the marching moron red staters to go eat there.
- Paul
It worked for selling the war in Iraq, but not so much on Social Security. Maybe in '08 the GOP will run Paris Hilton. At least we wouldn't have to worry about a secretive Government. She'd accidentally post everything to the internet.
- Locke
It worked for the Republicans.
- Baron Dave
Because it is a well known fact that people will follow/emulate a leader with whom they identify... especially if they've been "made accustomed" to being led by/purchasing a bill of goods from the current group of scum manipulating the congenital fool we know as the "Meat Puppet-In-Chief". Dear Sweet Jesus, how I loath these "people".
- Hactor
"I'm sorry sir but you'll have to give me your order or leave the drive-thru. There are a lot of cars in line behind you."
- anonymous
Being in the intellectually desolate Midwest, I'm not familiar with Carl's Jr. (isn't that the home of the 4,000 calorie Feed-the-Whole-Fam-Damily burger with the slab of bacon and an entire side of beef?), but I can tell you, as a student of popular culture, that the 'spokesman is an idiot' meme is pernicious and widespread. Here in the hinterlands, we've been subjected televisionally to the Frat Boy who laughingly relates what a total fumblefuck he is to the approval of his imbecile friends over a chummy round of Bud Lights; to the anxious Soccer Mom perturbed that her bug-eyed, nearly-comatose little girl isn't getting enough mood-depressants; to the half-wit cowboy, probably recently fired by the Post Office, who drives his pickup truck right into the fast food restaurant because, garsh, he just can't fucking wait for his Super Beelzebub Burger any longer. And what's with the Audi commercials that say we shouldn't follow? Is it because they might blow up at any minute, like the old Ford Pintos? There is a rich and demented tapestry being driven into the brain of the average bovine American and it involves young men who can't buy clothes that fit, and young women who desire to dress like oblivious plumbers on the old SNL, while they download .99 cent IPod tunes and take pictures with their new SBC cellphones of each other drooling. Is this why we have expensive satellites spinning around earth in synchronous orbit? So some doofus can flash a picture of his new scrotum ring to his gum-snapping mall buddies?
Not to sound like an old curmudgeon, as accurate as that description might be, but what's the ultimate logical conclusion of this dumbing-down of the advertising message? Neanderthals discovering Skittles in the cave? Cro-Magnons trading with Chuck Schwab using an abacus? Functionally retarded families tooling around in their new Lexus, unable to decode the international symbol for 'windshield wiper? Our culture has been swamped by a hurricane of stupidity, because stupidity is easy. And profitable, for the time being.
All right, they're here with my medication, so I'll sign off for now.
Oh, no -- Prozac in the shape of Barney Rubble! Ahhhhhhh....
- RSJ
Idiot? I thought that was Jimmy Smits little brother. That'd make him princess Lea's step-uncle. You should know that many of your readers do not have a local Carl's Jr. or Del Taco and are not exposed to the ads. Here in Texas, fer instance, we have neither but we do have What-a-burger!
- Eliot
Strike my previous response. Apparently I was thinking of the El Pollo Loco guy. So I guess I've never seen the Del Taco guy. Sorry we're not all on the west coast, you elitist bastards.
- Eliot
It is obviously directed to those in the populace who are inspired by "our Preznit who is an idiot."
- Pentimental
Why not? You all "voted" for one...
- James and Katherine Allard
Ad's frequently mirror the public they are trying to sell to and as everyone in the US is currently being served by an idiot spokesperson... umm, sorry, some taco drippings just fell on my keyboard... What was the question?
- Julie Oregon
for the same reason larry king is popular
people are attracted to obvious fakes
in ways similar to the attraction between small time criminals and for petty plagiarists
we coronate the flawlessly played sycophant
and to shun perception we disrevere the crystal clear
and potentiate the insincere.
- palantir
Answers to Old Questions That Came in Too Late
Pigs. They can happily eat a ton of bullshit, roll in oceans of mud, are not really greedy (that's a myth some jerk with a thing against pigs made up), are never bothered by dichotomy, and can be a house pet or really kick some ass.
- Julie Oregon
wow, Angelina Jolie is so hot she even ignites herself
- Jennifer Ragin
If women licked our balls daily we would never have wars. Should of lef B.Clinton alone got head great prez!
- fairdealz
There's a hot time in the old town tonight!
- Cheers, Arlene
"So, what you're saying is that horses really don't produce milk??"
- Chris McFarland
I've got tears in my ears from lie'n on my back and cry'n over you .
- beaburt784
Did no one go to hell this week?
- Matt
In the rapture, class distinctions, like fat/ svelte; ugly/ fair; clothed/ unclothed; late/ on-time; smart/ dumb, etc., will cease to matter, so no one will notice any of the shit you asked about, heathen, unlike the pre-rapture times, when class distinctions are so important that all anyone can talk about is getting in with the Jesus crowd.
A better question regards the accommodations in flight: Movies? Rest room facilities? Drink cart? What refreshments will be provided? Will the trays need to be returned to their upright location, or can you continue playing travel yahtzee throughout?
- palantir
Different facilities handle it in the manner consistent with their jurisdiction. The most common method of disposal is via incineration. Larger medical facilities often have a separate human tissue/medical waste incinerator. Other facilities contract with area incineration facilities, or in less cosmopolitan areas local funeral homes. These are the most commonly found methods utilized in the USA.
- Fichen Dich
Yes there is; its called religion.
- Matt
KLAATU (PLAYED BY MICHAEL RENNIE) IN "THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL" (1951)
- DIANE
Ranch, Blue Cheese or Italian?
- William Lee French
Stupid Question of the Week
I wish to be canonized. Won't you make up a miracle you can blame on me and tell the Catholic Church about it?
Examples...
I had a really bad pain in my ass until I read an issue of Disinfotainment Today and it went away.
Obscure Downloads
The Black Sabbath Cha-Cha-Cha. Paul Anka covering Smells Like Teen Spirit. I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist you check out Music for Maniacs.
Speaking of maniacs, one of the prides of my underground music collection has always been Brian Wilson's Adult Child, a solo album he recorded in 1976/77 during the deepest of his psychosis, and which his friends did him the favor of prevented him from releasing, for damn good reason. Life is for Living, H.E.L.P. is On the Way, and Everybody Wants to Live are more self-therapy than songs, making you feel total embarrassment when you stop laughing. The whole fascinating mess is available for downloading at Sonic Reclamation Industries.
All Purpose Positive Review of Anything
I loved it. It was a lifetime experience with which no others will ever compare. It was savagely ripped from the heart of society and laid bare the soul of this paltry existence. Compared to the best things you've ever seen or heard or tasted or smelt or felt, it was beyond description, a glimpse of rapture in a barren desert of simulated torture. I loved it and I don't care what anyone says. If there were anything on this planet that I could whole-heartedly recommend, this would be it. I can't believe you haven't seen/heard//tasted/felt/smelt this. A total pleasure, top to bottom, I can't remember the last time I felt so good. I've seen/heard//tasted/felt/smelt this a dozen times and I can't get enough. All I can say is it works for me. I can't wait to show it to my children. A major classic for the young at heart.
All Purpose Negative Review of Anything
What a piece of crap! Einstein called, he wants my time back.
Chart of the Week
Michael Jackson is nothing like George W. Bush
Motto Jackson Bush
Leave no child behind No Yes
Leave no child's behind Yes No
Insane Letter of the Week
June 14, 2005
Dear Mr. Mxyzptlk:
Thank you for your letter regarding the so-called "Downing Street Memo" from a high-level British meeting about the war in Iraq that was reported in the Times of London.
I must respectfully decline to support a Congressional investigation into the President's decision to go to war with Iraq. The President made it clear in his June 6th press conference with Prime Minister Blair that it is inaccurate to suggest that the decision to go to war had already been made prior to his presenting the case against Saddam Hussein to the United Nations (UN). The President went on to say - with the Prime Minister in resolute agreement- that war was their last option in dealing with Saddam. Numerous efforts were made to make Saddam comply with UN resolutions but he disregarded these efforts.
The "Downing Street Memo" was the minutes of a high-level meeting of British officials which included Prime Minister Blair and other members of his cabinet. The crux of the memo was the report of a man now identified as Richard Dearlove, the head of British Secret Intelligence Service sometimes known as MI6, (the original article simply named him "C") about his recent trip to Washington and his subsequent feeling that "intelligence and facts were being fixed" to support the war in mid-2002. Both the 9/11 Commission and the British investigation into this subject has found no evidence to substantiate Dearlove's claim. Whether his was an attempt to undermine Tony Blair during the recent British elections is unclear, but what is clear is the Bush administration was looking at all options in terms of dealing with Saddam, which is not an illegal or unexpected action.
The claim that the President manipulated intelligence to bolster the case for war is simply not true. After September 11, 2001, the President and our allies could not take any chances with the possibility of deadly weapons finding their way into the hands of terrorists who would certainly seek to use them. Saddam Hussein had flouted 17 UN resolutions since the end of the 1991 Gulf War and the intelligence presented to the President clearly indicated Saddam possessed an active weapons program and weapons of mass destruction. Hussein had previously used chemical weapons to kill many of his own people and invaded Iraq's neighbors, both in Kuwait and Iran. Acting on the best information that was available, the President, with the approval of Congress, acted to remove the threat posed by Saddam Hussein. Even former President Clinton felt - based on the intelligence available to him at the time - that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction.
The allegation that the President acted illegally in deciding for the U.S. to go to war with Iraq is simply false. The war in Iraq has been waged on a sound legal and Constitutional footing. The U.S. House and Senate approved the use of force in Iraq and UN Resolution 1382 promised "serious consequences" if Saddam Hussein failed to comply with inspections and dismantle his WMD program.
The UN resolution begs the question: Why would the President seek to make his case before the United Nations if he had already made his decision to go to war prior to going to New York to address the General Assembly?
The President sought Senate approval to go to war which he received by an overwhelming margin of 77-23. These senators received the same intelligence on Iraq as the President.
Since the war has been waged on a sound legal and Constitutional grounds and with no real evidence that the administration distorted intelligence, it is difficult to conclude that the President is guilty of a crime.
I believe the President did the right thing in removing Saddam Hussein from power. Second-guessing this decision, at this point, only serves to encourage the insurgents in this conflict and undermine the morale of our troops who are fighting to stabilize Iraq. During this difficult time when our nation is at war not only in Iraq but against terrorists around the world, we must stand united in our efforts to protect our nation and secure peace around the world. I therefore must again decline to support any investigation into the Bush administration's decision to go to war at this time.
Once again, thank you for contacting me.
Sincerely,
United States Senator.
Belated Christmas Gift from Hell
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know
Antonio Meucci, not Alexander Graham Bell, is the man who invented the telephone.
Don't Take My Word For It
"Justice John Paul Stevens said plaintiffs suffering chronic pain should turn to 'the democratic process' for comfort. He addressed this opinion to the two plaintiffs who suffer respectively from a brain tumor and a degenerative spinal disease. I'm a thinking the 85-year-old liberal Justice needs to bone up on his bedside manner a bit. 'Take two democratic processes and call me in the morning.' Wonder if this guy has consulted for any HMOs lately? Going to have to revise the new edition of the Physician's Desk Reference by inserting 'Activist Judges' next to 'Cottonmouth' under possible side effects.
"Besides, how can they cite an interstate commerce jurisdiction over homegrown, which, according to Justice Clarence Thomas, 'has never been bought or sold, that has never crossed state lines, and that has had no demonstrable effect on the national market for marijuana?' That's right, I'm quoting Clarence Thomas, which means tomorrow all the residents of hell might want to break out the sleds and earmuffs. Who knows? Maybe it was a stem of Maui Wowie and not a pubic hair on that Coke can."
"Those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them - bring them here and kill them in front of me."
- Jesus Christ: Luke 19:27 -
"A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of the people. Only a small 'inside' group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few, at the expense of the very many. Out of war a few people make huge fortunes." - Major General Smedley Butler (USMC): War is a Racket -
"Rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add 'within the limits of the law' because law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the rights of the individual."
- Thomas Jefferson -
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them."
- Bill Vaughan -
"The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them."
- Patrick Henry -
"There has never been an administration, I don't believe in our history, more intent upon consolidating and abusing power to further their own agenda,"
- Sen. Hillary Clinton -
"The conqueror is apt to think himself master, and the subdued do not have the power to dispute him. But that gives him no title other than what naked force gives the strong over the weak."
- John Locke: Treatise on Government -
"The liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than their democratic State itself. That, in its essence, is Fascism - ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or any controlling private power."
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt -
"The tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side."
- Aristotle -
"Not to be absolutely certain is, I think, one of the essential things in rationality."
- Bertrand Russell: Am I An Atheist Or An Agnostic? -
"The clues are falling into place, pointing to the incontrovertible judgment that George W. Bush willfully misled the United States into invading Iraq, in part, by eliminating the possibility of the peaceful solution that he pretended to want.
"Many of the clues have been apparent for three years - and some were reported in outlets such as our own Consortiumnews.com in real time - but only recently have new revelations clarified this obvious reality for the slow-witted mainstream U.S. news media.
"The latest piece of the puzzle was reported by Charles J. Hanley of the Associated Press in an article on June 4 describing how Bush's Undersecretary of State John Bolton orchestrated the ouster of global arms control official Jose Bustani in early 2002 because Bustani's Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons [OPCW] was making progress toward getting arms inspectors back into Iraq.
"If Bustani had succeeded in gaining Iraq's compliance with international inspection demands, Bush would have been denied his chief rationale for war, even before U.S. military divisions were deployed to the Persian Gulf. Bustani had made himself an obstacle to war, so he had to go."
"That the aggressor, who puts himself into the state of war with another, and unjustly invades another man's right, can, by such an unjust war, never come to have a right over the conquered, will be easily agreed by all men, who will not think that robbers and pirates have a right of empire over whomsoever they have force enough to master, or that men are bound by promises which unlawful force extorts from them.
"Should a robber break into my house, and, with a dagger at my throat, make me seal deeds to convey my estate to him, would this give him any title? Just such a title by his sword has an unjust conqueror who forces me into submission. The injury and the crime is equal, whether committed by the wearer of a crown or some petty villain.
"The title of the offender and the number of his followers make no difference in the offence, unless it be to aggravate it. The only difference is, great robbers punish little ones to keep them in their obedience; but the great ones are rewarded with laurels and triumphs, because they are too big for the weak hands of justice in this world, and have the power in their own possession which should punish offenders."
"You can go ahead and use marijuana for non-medical purposes. We understand the legitimate need of college students to take a bong hit before downloading Eminem with Limewire. It's just people who are dying of cancer and AIDS who can't use it."
"The Downing Street Memo is the gift that just keeps on giving. And well it should. It is the smoking gun which proves that the gravest possible crime was committed by the Bush administration, and among its victims were the American people."
- David Michael Green:
Bring It Down. Now. -
"Today Christians stand at the head of our country. We want to fill our culture again with the Christian spirit. We want to burn out all the recent immoral developments in literature, in the theatre, and in the press - in short, we want to burn out the poison of immorality which has entered into our whole life and culture as a result of liberal excess during the past years."
- Adolph Hitler -
"Whilst 'the conspiracy theory of history' is mocked by the media as the realm of scaremongers, the ignorant and the naïve, anyone who has merely studied the history of Britain's Kings and Queens, over the last 1,000 years, will readily see that conspiracies were very much part of court life, national government and Britain's international policy. Nothing has changed. Indeed, with the advent of widespread literacy, modern media and information technology, the obfuscation of, and power to corrupt facts has been raised to a new and more sophisticated plane...
"The prime instrument in this global economic game has been one fundamental to the lives of everyone; i.e., the house you live in. Unless the householder is rich enough to afford to own two or more houses, which most are not, then the paper gain in the steadily, but rapidly rising, price of his home can only be realized if he sells his home and moves into a lesser house in the same area, or, one of similar quality and size in a less attractive or sought after location. Most people do not like moving their home for obvious reasons. Therefore, the only benefit one gains from ever rising house prices, and property prices in general, is if one can use some of the increased equity in one's home to finance other consumption needs, such as: education; cars; consumer durables; holidays; home improvements and non-essential luxuries such as speed boats and jet skis.
"As many writers have pointed out, a home is a source of finance amidst falling real earnings, a veritable private bank ATM to be tapped into as deemed necessary. This happy little arrangement has been facilitated and expanded by an increasingly lax and accommodative banking environment, which seems almost disinterested in whether one can ever repay ones debts in the face of unemployment or illness. Again, it is necessary to ask why this is being allowed to happen? And, furthermore, why does it fly in the face of prudent money lending, as deemed sensible practice, since the creation of the banking system. Why have supposedly responsible governments allowed it to happen without imposing regulations to protect the consumer from himself and for himself?...
"Now the great game plan starts to make some sense. Higher home loans and the greater indebtedness of society are well on their way to creating a modern version of serfdom, in which people will work for a nominal income from the cradle to the grave, merely giving birth to a new generation of serfs, as they live their constrained lives earning nominal wages, never being able to somehow get ahead as their income is whittled away by taxes, debt servicing charges and interest payments, and everyday (and ever rising) living expenses. Lives for most will comprise a few small pleasures and, mostly, endless drudgery in making the elite few richer and able to enjoy what most people can never have or even dream about having."
"Now really. How many times have you read that US soldiers captured 'a senior aide to Zarqawi.' How many times? How many senior aides does Zarqawi have? And do these announcements lend credibility to US announcements?"
"The people at the top of America's money pyramid have so prospered in recent years that they have pulled far ahead of the rest of the population, an analysis of tax records and other government data by The New York Times shows. They have even left behind people making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Call them the hyper-rich. They are not just a few Croesus-like rarities. Draw a line under the top 0.1 percent of income earners - the top one-thousandth. Above that line are about 145,000 taxpayers, each with at least $1.6 million in income and often much more. The average income for the top 0.1 percent was $3 million in 2002, the latest year for which averages are available. That number is two and a half times the $1.2 million, adjusted for inflation, that group reported in 1980. No other income group rose nearly as fast. The share of the nation's income earned by those in this uppermost category has more than doubled since 1980, to 7.4 percent in 2002. The share of income earned by the rest of the top 10 percent rose far less, and the share earned by the bottom 90 percent fell."
"Curious, how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want."
- Spock: Errand of Mercy, stardate 3198.4 -
"Even when he is still,
The selfish man is busy.
Even when he is busy,
The selfless man is still."
- Ashtavakra Gita 18:29 -
"By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. Kill yourselves, seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke. There's no fucking joke coming, you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage, you are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourselves, it's the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show."
"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture of you is of when you were younger."
- Mitch Hedberg -
"The mystery is this: how did the repeal of a tax that applies only to the richest 2 per cent of American families become a cause so popular and so powerful that it steamrollered all the opposition placed in its way? The estate tax was the most progressive part of the American tax system, because it rested on the principle that the wealthy few, if they were not willing to bequeath their money to charity, should not be permitted to pass it all directly to their heirs. It had been on the statute book for nearly a hundred years, and throughout that time it had been generally assumed that there was widespread support for the idea that unearned wealth passed between the generations, creating pockets of aristocratic privilege, was not part of the American dream. Because it was a tax that so obviously took from the relatively few to relieve the burden on the very many, there seemed no possibility that a sufficiently large or durable coalition of interests could ever be formed to get rid of it. Yet during the 1990s just such a coalition came into being, and not only did it hold together, it grew to the point where the clamour for estate tax repeal seemed irresistible. What Graetz and Shapiro want to know is how the architects of repeal got so many different people on board. How they stopped them falling out among themselves, once it became clear that they could not possibly have the same interests in common. And why the hell the Democratic Party didn't do more to stop them.
"In all, 88 homes in the Silwan district of traditionally Arab East Jerusalem are marked for demolition to make way for what municipal authorities say will be an archeological park devoted to Jewish history and sites associated with the biblical King David...
"If the Silwan project goes ahead, it would be the largest swath of demolition in the city's eastern sector since the 1967 Middle East War, when Israeli troops, in an electrifying moment for the still-young state, wrested the walled Old City and its environs from Jordanian control. In the subsequent months, the victorious Israelis razed hundreds of ramshackle Arab homes to create the broad flagstone plaza that now fronts the Western Wall, one of Judaism's holiest touchstones."
"Three former high-ranking government officials from Canada, Mexico, and the United States are calling for a North American economic and security community by 2010 to address shared security threats, challenges to competitiveness, and interest in broad-based development across the three countries...
"Enhance North American competitiveness with a common external tariff. Over the last decade, nations around the world, from China to India to Latin America to the expanded membership of the European Union, have become increasingly integrated into the global market. To meet these challenges to North American competitiveness, the chairs recommend that the three governments negotiate a common external tariff on a sector-by-sector basis at the lowest rate consistent with multilateral obligations: 'Unwieldy rules of origin, increasing congestion at ports of entry, and regulatory differences among the three countries raise our costs instead of reducing them.'
"Develop a border pass for North Americans. The chairs propose a border pass, with biometric indicators, which would allow expedited passage through customs, immigration, and airport security throughout North America. 'The governments of Canada, Mexico, and the United States should commit themselves to the long-term goal of dramatically reducing the need for physical scrutiny of traffic, travel, and trade within North America.'
"Adopt a unified Border Action Plan. The three governments should 'strive toward a situation in which a terrorist trying to penetrate our borders will have an equally hard time doing so no matter which country he elects to enter first.' First steps should include: harmonized visa and asylum regulations; joint inspection of container traffic entering North American ports; and synchronized screening and tracking of people, goods, and vessels, including integrated 'watch' lists. Security cooperation should extend to counterterrorism and law enforcement, and could include the establishment of a tri-national threat intelligence center and joint training for law enforcement officials. On the defense front, the most important step is to expand the bi-national North American Aerospace Defense Command to make it a multi-service Canada-U.S. command with a mandate to protect the maritime as well as air approaches to North America. Canada and the United States should invite Mexico to consider closer military cooperation in the future."
"Americans must think that our political and academic elites have gone utterly mad at a time when three-and-a-half years, approaching four years after September 11, we still don't have border security. And this group of elites is talking about not defending our borders, finally, but rather creating new ones. It's astonishing."
"It's a foregone conclusion that the Senate will confirm Zalmay Khalilzad to be the new U.S. ambassador to Iraq, replacing John Negroponte. Still, it's worth stepping back to consider what Khalilzad's appointment says about the Bush administration's continuing refusal to comprehend the magnitude of the disaster in Iraq - and about the Democrats' inexplicable inability to step forward and challenge the president as Iraq continues to deteriorate. His confirmation hearing Tuesday slipped by almost unnoticed, thanks in part to a docile stable of Democrats who decided to give him a free pass, rather than seize the opportunity to lambaste the president's Iraq policy.
"First, on the man himself: it's hard to imagine anyone worse than Khalilzad for the Baghdad job. Like one of Alexander the Great's proconsuls, Khalilzad neatly steps into one U.S.-occupied neocolony, Iraq, from another, Afghanistan. Khalilzad, born in Afghanistan, has been deeply involved in U.S.-Afghan policy for more than two decades. He is arguably as much to blame as anyone for the catastrophic mistakes that led first to that country's civil war, then to the rise of the Taliban, and finally to the Afghanistan of 2005: a warlord-dominated narco-state, in which heroin and opium provide fully half of the gross domestic product, and in which a thriving, Taliban-led Islamic fundamentalist insurgency is recently showing signs of emerging, once again, as a mortal threat to a tottering regime in Kabul. Zalmay Khalilzad, it seems, is getting out just in time."
"There has never been an administration, I don't believe in our history, more intent upon consolidating and abusing power to further their own agenda. I know it's frustrating for many of you, it's frustrating for me. Why can't the Democrats do more to stop them? I can tell you this: It's very hard to stop people who have no shame about what they're doing. It is very hard to tell people that they are making decisions that will undermine our checks and balances and constitutional system of government who don't care. It is very hard to stop people who have never been acquainted with the truth."
"Michael Jackson is back at Neverland. Do you know where your prepubescent son is, dear? Yes, dear friends, Michael Jackson is free. Honestly, white people get away with everything! So, one more jury has found someone 'not guilty by reason of celebrity.' Surely, you are not naive enough to be surprised, are you? As Paris Hilton has proved, even being an inane, drugged-out, pornographic whore is utterly laudable just as long as we recognize your vacant mug from a weekly magazine. So, once again, it is cookies and porn time back at Neverland. As if young Hispanic boys didn't have enough to worry about with Catholic priests lurking around every confessional booth!"
"No 'terrorist' gene is known to exist or is likely to be found... Surely the(y), and their supporters were afflicted by something that caused their metamorphosis from normal human beings capable of gentleness and affection into desperate, maddened, fiends with nothing but murder in their hearts and minds. What was that? Simple logic says that we must go to the roots of terror. Only a fool can believe that the services of a suicidal terrorist can be purchased, or that they can be bred at will anywhere."
- Ouch Borith, Permanent Representative Of the Kingdom Of Cambodia to the UN, 10/03/2001 -
"In order to rally people, governments need enemies. They want us to be afraid, to hate, so we will rally behind them. And if they do not have a real enemy, they will invent one in order to mobilize us."
- Thich Nhat Hanh -
"George W. Bush himself is the strongest argument against intelligent design."
- God -
"Our country is not the only thing to which we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to justice and to humanity. Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong."
- James Bryce -
"Once one dismisses
the rest of all possible worlds
One finds that this is
the best of all possible worlds."
- Dr. Pangloss: Candide -
"Before rhyming orange he knew that he
needed much more ingenuity"
- me -
Everything Else
The revelation of the identity of Deep Throat can't help but bring back memories of the fact that I was supposed to be the Deep Throat of Woodward's Wired, revealing to him the true identity of John Belushi's killers, giving Woodward remarkably similar advice to that of the original Deep Throat, "follow the drugs" instead of "follow the money." Woodward ignored my advice, never told where the drugs came from, and wrote a piece of crap that was as just as much a cover-up as the one by Richard Nixon that made him famous.
Don't let this happen to you
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY archives are here.
Boo hoo. There's nobody to pay me for doing this but you.
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form, preferably parchment. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.
Thanks,
Ida Mandy Recount
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'Best of TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
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Jazz From Hills
Trimmed Bush and Hedges
FIRE THE UNEMPLOYED!!
With the Wal-Mart economy bellowing through the smoke of mistreatment by management and the Walton family in Bentonville counting their some 400 billion dollars, bigger than most world nation economies, the spread between the rich and the poor are widening at a rapid rate.
General Motors announced 25,000 jobs were being eliminated. The reason was that they couldn't compete with overseas labor costs, material costs, overhead in general. These were the types of jobs that America needs to be creating, not giving them to China. I mean, this job loss is fucking breaking our nation apart. Think about the ramifications of 25,00 jobs being lost. Who will pay the mortgage? Alcoholism goes up. Divorce rates go up. Families shattered. What spin does Bunnypants want to put on this? "Hey, it's time for good old American ingenuity! This is what made America great!" Those words are ringing more hollow by the day.
I know a man whose economic existence depended on a General Motors contract with his engineering firm. They performed a lot of the environmental remediation that General Motors was performing, enough to keep the feds off GM's back. His contact was eliminated because, c'mon, who needs an environmental guy when the company is going broke? So, with the domino effect in full force, the need for some of the geologists and engineers from the engineering firm get axed. More divorce. More drunkenness. More families shattered.
The secretaries who used to type all the voluminous reporting required by the federal government now are getting the ax. Many of these ladies had teenaged daughters and no husbands. What do they now? Welfare? Probably so. At least unemployment.
With no money the rebelliousness of the teenaged girls rise as their friends whose daddies have jobs go to the mall and flirt with all the boys, and have money for the food court and even a matinee with popcorn. They can always go get a job at Wal-Mart, which invites more misery into these dysfunctional families because whoever goes to work at Wal-Mart are almost guaranteed to have an abusive relationship with managerial staff, but they do pay a little of your health insurance so if you get sick they'll pick up some of the tab. But with the domino effect in full force, more drug use, strained parent-sibling relationships, families breaking apart.
This will go on till the teen freaks out and says"I QUIT!!" followed by a "YOU'RE FIRED" which in effect is firing the already unemployed. That's the Republican way. What a mess this economy is in. People, if you don't believe this shit is true, you might be one of those rich white Republicans Howard Dean is yapping about. He's dead on, folks. The Democrats that are distancing themselves from Dean are worried about their own political futures. Dean is telling it like it is. You better be a rich white Christian conservative if you want to get anywhere in politics or business. Otherwise, the Republicans don't care about shattered families and couldn't care less. They're in the shade with blinders two-feet thick.
--
Posted by Phillip L. Vincent to Trimmed Bush.
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Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Cunningham home sale to defense contractor raises questions (North County Times)
SAN DIEGO - A defense contractor bought Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham's Del Mar home in November 2003 and sold it nearly nine months later at a $700,000 loss, it was reported today. At the time, the Republican congressman was supporting Mitchell Wade and his firm MZM Inc. in efforts to win Pentagon contracts, The San Diego Union- Tribune reported.
PAUL KRUGMAN: One Nation, Uninsured (NY Times)
Harry Truman tried to create a national health insurance system.
Jennifer Washburn: Tainted to the Core (In These Times)
In the fall of 2001, the editors of 12 prominent medical journals collectively announced that they would refuse to publish research on new prescription drugs unless the authors provided assurances that they had had unimpeded access to the data and were fully responsible for the paper's conclusions.
Geov Parrish: Fishers of (young) men (WorkingForChange.com)
Military recruiters face shortfall as the market deems Iraq war not worth fighting
Susan J. Douglas: Jesus, Is This News? (In These Times)
No matter how much columnists and media critics bemoan the sorry state of American journalism, no matter how low the press sinks in the estimation of the American people, the news media, particularly on television, remains defiantly abysmal.
Susan Zakin: The Human Animal (OnEarth Magazine. Posted on Alternet)
If you're feeling suicidal about the future of the planet, T. C. Boyle has just the thing for you: a sense of humor.
Brendan Lemon: Denim: Getting the Fit: We go on booty patrol to show you how gay men shop for jeans (Out.com)
Fashion experts will tell you two things about blue jeans. First, they're the most popular item in the U.S. wardrobe (a $14.2 billion business). Second, what counts most to the denim customer is the fit, especially around the rear: For the masses, it's about *sses.
How to Use a Straight Razor (www.menessentials.com)
The Progressive's New Website
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The Wall Street Poet
'If'
I like Kipling's poem, 'If.' Here's an updated and refurbished version...
IF
If you can practice a loving faith while others preach a militant pietism,
And come to be known as the poor man's friend not the rich man's front;
If you can recognize the inherent evil of torture,
Doing what's needed to defend against enemies without dehumanizing them or you;
If you can serve your country without seeking to make other countries' bend to its will,
Listen while leading, building alliances with true friends who truly share your visions;
If you can be respectful to those who disagree with your views,
Compromising to achieve comity without compromising on principle;
If your need to preserve the earth rather than study the question further
Is an underlying guide to all your actions;
If you can carefully balance present and future needs and desires,
Not mortgaging your future and your kin's future for today's toys and trifles;
If you ever and always honestly seek to speak truth as you understand it,
Rather than parsing and shading for short-term advantage;
Then, my friend, you'll be a better American,
And what is more, you'll be a better person, too.
©2005
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AN ACID FLASHBACK
PURPLE HAZE ALL IN MY BRAIN
ARTICHOKE FLOWER
Zen Man
(in St Helena at Provenance Winery)
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Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Overcast til mid-afternoon. Quite nice.
If NBC holds with programming, tonight's late, late RERUN of 'Conan' (starts around 3:07am-ish edt) should be the episode with Triumph The Comic Insult Dog visiting the Michael Jackson fans encampment in Santa Maria.
Tonight, Thursday:
CBS opens the night with a FRESH 'The Cut', followed by a RERUN 'CSI: The Original One', then a RERUN 'Without A Trace'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Former President Bill Clinton and Ringo Starr.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craig are Tommy Hilfiger, Lea Thompson, and Nikka Costa.
NBC begins the night with a RERUN 'Will & Grace', followed by another RERUN Will & Grace', then a FRESH 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are Lindsay Lohan, Jeremy Piven, and Backstreet Boys.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Heather Locklear and the Caesars.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Cedric the Entertainer, Nikki Reed, and Missy Higgins.
ABC has LIVE 'NBA Basketball Finals', with a bonus RERUN 'My Wife & Kids' for the left coast.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Evander Holyfield and Kathie Lee Gifford.
The WB offers a RERUN 'Blue Collar TV', followed by another RERUN 'Blue Collar TV', then a RERUN of last night's 'Beauty & The Geek'.
Faux has a RERUN 'The O.C.', followed by another RERUN 'The O.C.'.
UPN fills the night with 'WWE SmackDown!'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Cold Case Files', and 'The First 48'.
AMC offers the movie 'The Verdict', followed by the movie 'Hoffa', then the movie 'Mobsters'.
BBC -
[2pm] 'As Time Goes By' - Episode 4;
[2:40pm] 'Are You Being Served?' - Oh What a Tangled Web;
[3:20pm] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 9;
[4pm] 'Little Britain' - Episode 3;
[4:40pm] 'The Young Ones' - Interesting;
[5:20pm] 'The Young Ones' - Flood;
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Fry;
[7pm] 'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 4;
[8pm] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Mr. & Mrs. Brian Norris' Ford Popular;
[8:40pm] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - The Money Programme;
[9:20pm] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror;
[10pm] 'Green Wing' - Episode 5;
[11pm] 'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 4;
[12am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Mr. & Mrs. Brian Norris' Ford Popular;
[12:40am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - The Money Programme;
[1:20am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror;
[2am] 'Green Wing' - Episode 5;
[3am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Mr. & Mrs. Brian Norris' Ford Popular;
[3:40am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - The Money Programme;
[4:20am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror;
[5am] 'Green Wing' - Episode 5;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'West Wing', another 'West Wing', yet another 'West Wing', then 'Blow Out'.
Comedy Central has 'Comedy Central Presents' (Vince Morris), 'Reno 911!', last night's 'Jon Stewart', 'Premium Blend', another 'Comedy central Presents' (Freddy Soto), 'South Park', 'Chappelle's Show', and another 'Reno 911!'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Kenneth Timmerman.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Wake Island: The Alamo Of The Pacific', and another 'Modern Marvels'.
IFC -
[6AM] 'The Brother From Another Planet' (1984);
[7:50AM] 'East/West' (1999);
[10AM] 'IFC June Short Film Collection II' (2005);
[12PM] 'The Brother From Another Planet' (1984);
[2PM] 'Home Movie' (2002);
[3:15PM] 'Dinner Rush' (2000);
[5PM] 'A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries' (1998);
[7:15PM] 'Home Movie' (2002);
[8:30PM] 'Dancer In The Dark' (2000);
[11PM] 'Dancing At The Blue Iguana' (2000);
[1:15AM] 'Slasher' (2004);
[2:45AM] 'IFC in Theaters' (2005);
[3AM] 'Dancing At The Blue Iguana' (2000);
[5:15AM] 'Henry's Film Corner #107' (2005);
[5:45AM] Short: 'Patti Burns' (2001). (ALL TIMES EDT)
SciFi has the movie 'Silent Warnings', followed by the movie 'Fire In The Sky'.
Sundance -
[6AM] 'Hofmann's Potion';
[7AM] 'The Al Franken Show': (06/15/05);
[8AM] 'The Times of Harvey Milk';
[9:30AM] 'Star Wars Dreams';
[10:30AM] 'Paradox Lake';
[12PM] 'Dummy';
[1:35PM] 'New Waterford Girl';
[3:15PM] 'Play With Me';
[3:30PM] 'The Times of Harvey Milk';
[5PM] 'Hush!';
[7:25PM] 'Dummy';
[9PM] 'Dirty Work';
[10PM] 'A Certain Kind of Death';
[11:10PM] 'The Projectionist';
[11:30PM] 'The Al Franken Show': (06/16/05);
[12:30AM] 'New Waterford Girl';
[2:10AM] 'Coffee With Pina';
[2:30AM] 'The Al Franken Show': (06/16/05);
[3:30AM] 'Hush!';
[5:50AM] 'Afterschool Delight'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
TCM:
[6:30am] 'Bette Davis: The Benevolent Volcano' (1984);
[7:30am] 'Cartoon Alley #7' (2005);
[8am] 'Bachelor In Paradise' (1961);
[10am] 'Boys' Night Out' (1962);
[12pm] 'The Mating Game' (1959);
[2pm] 'Come September' (1961);
[4pm] 'Man's Favorite Sport?' (1964) [View Trailer];
[6:15pm] 'Send Me No Flowers' (1964) [View Trailer];
[8pm] '12 Angry Men' (1957) [View Trailer];
[10pm] 'Long Day's Journey into Night' (1962) [View Trailer];
[1am] 'Baby Doll' (1956);
[3am] 'The World Of Henry Orient' (1964) [View Trailer];
[5am] 'Mad Love' (1935). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Friday - 06/17
TCM:
[6:15am] 'West Of Broadway' (1931);
[7:30am] 'The Secret Six' (1931);
[9am] 'Ace Of Aces' (1933);
[10:30am] 'This Man Is Mine' (1934);
[12pm] 'Spitfire' (1934);
[1:30pm] 'Fools For Scandal' (1938);
[3pm] 'Boy Meets Girl' (1938);
[4:30pm] 'Flight Angels' (1940);
[6pm] 'His Girl Friday' (1940) [View Trailer];
[8pm] 'They Live by Night' (1949);
[9:45pm] 'In a Lonely Place' (1950);
[11:30pm] 'On Dangerous Ground' (1951);
[1am] 'The Divine Greta Garbo' (1990);
[2am] 'Anna Christie' (German) (1930);
[3:30am] 'The Easiest Way' (1931);
[5am] 'Complicated Women' (2003). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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Legendary rock musician and songwriter Robbie Robertson stands with his diploma after being awarded an honorary Doctor of Laws degree at York University in Toronto on Tuesday June 14, 2005.
Photo by Tobin Grimshaw
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Updates Editorial Standards
PBS
The Public Broadcasting Service is hiring an ombudsman and revising editorial practices in the face of criticism that its programming has given short shrift to conservative views.
Changes approved by the PBS board now go to the service's funding organization, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, for its consideration, and millions of dollars in revenue for PBS could be at stake in the corporation's review.
PBS, which rejects accusations of liberal bias, said it has been reviewing its procedures since before Republicans in Congress moved to cut its financing. The Republican chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, Kenneth Y. Tomlinson, has specifically accused the show hosted by Bill Moyers of featuring guests hostile to conservative views.
The updated policies are not a significant departure from those PBS has used since 1987, PBS said. The committee noted policies need only "minimal changes and should be altered only as necessary to reflect evolving technology and journalistic norms," PBS said.
PBS
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Promoting Montana for Films
Peter Fonda & Margot Kidder
More than two dozen agents, producers, screenwriters and other film industry moguls, including actors Peter Fonda and Margot Kidder, were named Wednesday to a council charged with enticing Hollywood back to Big Sky Country.
Montana was the site of many film productions in the 1990s, among them the movie "A River Runs Through It," but has since lost projects to Canada and other countries that offer tax credits and additional incentives.
Peter Fonda & Margot Kidder
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Salem Expecting Large Crowd
'Bewitched'
Salem police say they're expecting a large crowd for Wednesday's dedication of a "Bewitched" statue in Lappin Park.
The statue depicts Samantha Stevens, the fictional witch played by the late Elizabeth Montgomery in the popular 1960s sitcom.
Salem officials say it's all meant to be in fun and will hopefully drum up more tourism for the so-called "Witch City."
'Bewitched'
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Actors Glenn Close, left, Bette Midler, centre, and Robert De Niro attend the New York Restoration Project's 4th annual spring picnic Tuesday, June 14, 2005 at Thomas Jefferson Park in New York City. Hosted by Midler, about 300 people celebrated the opening of two newly renovated community gardens.
Photo by Stephen Chernin
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Back on ESPN Team
Keith Olbermann
One of ESPN's biggest stars is coming back in a guest-host role on a popular sports radio talk show. MSGOP host Keith Olbermann will team with his former "SportsCenter" sidekick Dan Patrick on Friday afternoons beginning Aug. 5 on ESPN Radio's "The Dan Patrick Show," which is heard on 300 stations nationwide. Olbermann is no stranger to radio. He was a weekend co-host when ESPN Radio debuted in 1992. MSGOP said Olbermann's new gig won't affect his job as host of its 8 p.m. "Countdown With Keith Olbermann."
Keith Olbermann
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Extends Las Vegas Show
Elton John
Elton John will extend his show, "The Red Piano," at Caesars Palace through 2008, the performer said.
John had originally committed to do 75 shows over a three-year period beginning February 2004. But the hotel-casino accelerated the performance schedule due to demand, completing it in less than 18 months.
The agreement calls for another 150 shows through 2008 at the 4,100-seat Colosseum theater built for Celine Dion.
"The Red Piano," directed and designed by David LaChappelle, appears at the theater when Dion's show is dark. Last year, John's show grossed over $40 million with one of the priciest tickets around at an average of $158 each.
Elton John
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Lights Up Sci Fi
'Firefly'
Sci Fi Channel has acquired "Firefly," the short-lived Fox series from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" creator Joss Whedon.
Fourteen episodes, including three that never aired, will begin airing on the cable channel in July. The show transplanted the Wild West to a galaxy 500 years in the future. The acquisition is timed to capitalize on the upcoming Universal Pictures release "Serenity," which is based on "Firefly."
'Firefly'
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Book Sells, Impolite Title and All
'Oh Bullshit'
Bull walks, but it also sells, a Princeton University professor has learned. Philosophy professor emeritus Harry G. Frankfurt's short book on the use of bombast, poppycock, hooey and balderdash in American culture has spent several weeks on national best seller lists, despite (or maybe because of) the use of a profanity in its title: "On Bull----."
The book - an academic and contemplative look at what constitutes bull and how we react to it - hit No. 1 on The New York Times best seller list for nonfiction hardcovers on June 5 and remained last week in the top five. Its success has surprised both Frankfurt, 76, and the book's publisher, Princeton University Press.
The initial print run was 5,000 copies, but interest swelled after the irreverent Comedy Central talk show host Jon Stewart had Frankfurt as a guest. There are now 300,000 copies in print.
'Oh Bullshit'
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Smoke surrounds Aboriginal elder and artist Pansy Nulgit during a ritual ceremony of the Kimberley Ngarinyin people during the opening of the show 'Mamaa: The Untouchable Ones - Wanjina Aboriginal rock art' at the Australian Embassy in Paris June 15, 2005. Water is sprinkled on flaming cypress wood which is spread acros 'pindan sand' from the Kimberly region, causing smoke to rise which wards off evil spirits, preventing them from inhabiting the dreams of those who witness their art. The indigenous art works come from one of Australia's most remote regions, the North-West Kimberley Ranges in Western Australia which is home of the Ngarinyin people.
Photo by John Schults
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Duel In L.A.
'Martha' vs. 'Oprah'
"Martha" is getting some lucrative TV real estate in Los Angeles in the fall.
The new syndicated lifestyle show featuring Martha Stewart will air in the highly coveted 3 p.m. slot starting Sept. 12 on NBC-owned outlet KNBC, competing with "The Oprah Winfrey Show" on ABC's KABC. The 3 p.m. slot on KNBC is currently occupied by "Ellen," which air one hour later at 4 p.m., replacing Oprah protege "Dr. Phil," which is moving to CBS' KCBS/KCAL.
'Martha' vs. 'Oprah'
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Joining NBC As Football Analyst
John Madden
Madden to
John Madden will join NBC as a game analyst when the network begins televising its newly acquired Sunday night football package in 2006.
Madden has spent the past three seasons teamed with Al Michaels on ABC's now-defunct "Monday Night Football."
Before joining ABC, Madden teamed with Pat Summerall to call Fox's lead game from 1994-2001. They were the top NFL announcing team on CBS for 13 seasons before that.
John Madden
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I'm Pissed
(formerly 'The Vidiot')
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Boomtown Rats Unhappy
Bob Geldof
Irish rocker-turned-activist Bob Geldof has reportedly been threatened with legal action by ex-members of his old band, the Boomtown Rats, over alleged unpaid royalties.
According to the BBC, the band members claim he owes them money from the 1970s and 1980s, when the band had hits including "I Don't Like Mondays," it said on its website.
Guitarist Gerry Cott, Simon Crowe, Garrick Roberts and John "Johnnie Fingers" Moylett have joined forces to try to get the money they claim they are owed, it said.
Bob Geldof
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Visitors look at the baroque Cockerel Faberge Imperial Easter egg at the exhibition 'Faberge in Berlin - Treasures of the Imperial Russia' at Charlottenburg Palace in Berlin, June 15 2005. The Cockerel or Cuckoo Egg is one of six Faberge Imperial Easter eggs with embedded mechanics, which reveals a bird flapping its wings and crowing. The exhibition is open until September 18, 2005.
Photo by Maxie Goetze
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Shops TV Series
Jackson Family
Will the Jackson family's trials play in primetime as a Horatio Alger-esque saga of overcoming adversity and scandal?
That's how a TV project featuring Michael Jackson and some of his relatives is being pitched to some broadcast and cable outlets. Sources said that a handful of networks were contacted last week -- before Monday's announcement of his acquittal on 10 counts of child molestation and related charges -- about a prospective six-episode reality series revolving around the Jackson clan.
Sources said the project has been shopped around to TV outlets -- including Fox, ABC and A&E Network -- by Darnell Sutton, who is described as a Jackson family friend, and the Endeavor talent agency. Sources familiar with the proposal said the pitch suggests that the family has at least some footage of their activities during the trial already in the can, though it is unclear how many family members have agreed to appear on camera should the show land a network home.
Jackson Family
Might I suggest 'Punch Our Meal Ticket' or 'Victory Tour II'?
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Spreading Wider
Paris Hilton
A racy TV ad featuring a swimsuit-clad Paris Hilton eating a burger and washing a Bentley, which sparked a controversy when it aired on the West Coast, is now coming to markets in the Midwest and Southeast.
The ad, which originally touted the Spicy BBQ Six Dollar Burger for CKE's Carl's Jr. chain, will begin airing the week of June 27 in the Midwest and Southeast, this time to promote the Spicy BBQ Thickburger from CKE's Hardee's chain.
Paris Hilton
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Jose Huaman, a Bolivian taxi driver, right carries coca bags outside the Coca Market in La Paz, Bolivia on Wednesday, June 15, 2005. The coca cultivation in this country has increased by 17% this year according to the United Nations.
Photo by Jorge Saenz
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Stolen Painting Recovered
Francisco de Goya
A stolen painting by Spanish master Francisco de Goya depicting the so-called Cannibal Count was recovered during a raid in a Podgorica suburb, police said.
The painting, the size of a sheet of letter paper, was stolen in 2001 when a thief sneaked it past security during an exhibition in the Torino-Esposizione gallery in the northern Italian city.
Titled Count Ugolino della Gherardesca, it shows Count Ugolino, also known as the Cannibal Count, in the company of two boys.
Ugolino was depicted in Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy, imprisoned in the tower of Pisa in 1289, starving and compelled to eat the flesh of his deceased sons and grandsons.
Francisco de Goya
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The Coffinette for the Viscera of Tutankhamun is shown on display at the 'Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of Pharaohs' exhibition at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art during a media preview in Los Angeles June 15, 2005. The artifact, measuring 39.5 cm in length, from tombs of the Egyptian boy King Tutankhamun is part of a 130-piece exhibition, organized by National Geographic with the cooperation of the Egyptian Supreme Council of Antiquities, which begins a 27-month tour of the U.S. on Thursday.
Photo by Fred Prouser
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He's Back
'Naked Rambler'
A somewhat eccentric British man who was arrested 14 times while hiking the length of Britain wearing nothing but boots, hat and a rucksack, pledged to repeat his feat -- but this time in company.
Stephen Gough, 46, whose dogged pursuit of his goal during 2003 and 2004, slowed down by two jail sentences, brought him national fame as the "naked rambler", plans to set off on Thursday from Land's End in Cornwall, England's most southwesterly point.
Accompanied -- also in the nude -- by 33-year-old girlfriend Melanie Roberts and a librarian who does not want to be named, Gough plans to walk the 874 miles to John O'Groats in the far north of Scotland.
'Naked Rambler'
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Faith-Based
Advertising
The Loomis Agency wants to help major brands reach out to evangelical Christians, in part through religious festivals that can attract as many as a quarter-million souls and reach thousands more through cable and broadcast channels.
Among trends is the boom in media-savvy megachurches (defined as churches with more than 2,000 members), the number of which in the U.S. has gone from 10 in 1970 to 740 today. In the past year, the average number of worshippers per megachurch has grown 4 percent to 3,646, and the average annual net income of such churches has hit $4.8 million, according to tracking service Church Growth Today.
In starting its faith-based unit with a staff of 12, Loomis is following a path blazed by The DeMoss Group, an Atlanta agency that does only faith-based marketing, including PR for MegaFest. Founder Mark DeMoss said advertising at religious festivals is relatively new and sponsorship rates-which can include signage, mentions in programs, booths, etc.-can range from $10,000 to six figures and beyond. "Because it's sort of new territory, my sense is that these organizations will sort of take what they can get," he said. "There's not enough history or data to have firm pricing schedules."
Advertising
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In Memory
David Diamond
David Diamond, a distinguished American composer who wrote 11 symphonies and 10 string quartets, as well as ballets and film scores, has died. He was 89.
Diamond was part of what some call a forgotten generation of great American symphonists that included Howard Hanson, Roy Harris, William Schuman, Walter Piston and Peter Mennin.
They had a resurgence in popularity in the 1980s and '90s, thanks in part to conductors such as Gerard Schwarz, musical director of the Seattle Symphony and a champion of Diamond.
Diamond was born July 9, 1915, in Rochester. He went to New York to study with Roger Sessions and then to Paris in 1936, where he studied with Nadia Boulanger.
Upon returning to the United States, Diamond won important admirers, including the conductors Leonard Bernstein, Serge Koussevitzky and Charles Munch. The New York Philharmonic gave the premiere of his First Symphony in 1941.
In the 1950s, Diamond and his fellow traditionalists fell from favour. Diamond blamed his waning success in part on anti-Semitism and on attitudes toward his open homosexuality.
He moved to Italy in 1952 where he lived for 12 years. He returned to teach at Harvard University and the Juilliard School.
Diamond received the Gold Medal for Lifetime Achievement award from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, as well as the Edward MacDowell medal. In 1995, he was awarded the National Medal of Arts by President Bill Clinton. Last month, he was honoured by the Juilliard School as a Centennial Fellow.
David Diamond
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In Memory
Lane Smith
Lane Smith, a longtime character actor who played a small-town district attorney who clashed with Joe Pesci in "My Cousin Vinny," died Monday. He was 69.
Smith, who also played Richard Nixon in the TV movie "The Final Days" and Daily Planet editor Perry White in "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman," died at his home in Los Angeles, according to his wife, Debbie Benedict Smith.
Born in Memphis, Smith appeared in numerous films and television shows. Most recently, he appeared in the 2000 movie "The Legend of Bagger Vance," starring Will Smith and Matt Damon.
Lane Smith also appeared in the original stage production of "Glengarry Glen Ross" and the revival of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
Film credits include "The Distinguished Gentleman," "Son in Law," "The Mighty Ducks" and "The Hi-Lo Country."
Besides his wife, Smith is survived by his son Robbie, 18, and a brother and sister. He also has a 19-year-old stepson.
Lane Smith
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A six-day-old male Baringo giraffe calf named Hitaji is licked by its mother at the San Diego Zoos Wild Animal Park June 15, 2005. Standing a mere 6-feet-tall (1.8 m) at birth, the male calf is the 94th Baringo giraffe born at the Wild Animal Park and the second this year. Baringo giraffes are native to Uganda, but are only found in two national parks in that African country. Five animal facilities in North America house this species of giraffe.
Photo by Ken Bohn
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