'Best of TBH Politoons'
Jazz From Hills
Trimmed Bush and Hedges
Weekly Link
Humor Gazette
Here's a fun piece about that dumbass groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil
But Untrue
Strangely Believable
President George W. Bush holds dual-citizenship in
~Jeff Crook
Jeff Crook is the Ceci Connolly of the Left. ~ J. Howard Tuft
Strangely Believable but Untrue is now available online at the Untrue Fact of the Day web calendar. Help spread disinformation and misunderstanding by sharing this with your friends and enemies.
Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Scott Thill: 21st-Century Cassandra (AlterNet)
Art-punk poetess Lydia Lunch tells you things you don't want to hear. She lays it on the line with her new album.
ZAC CRAIN: Another Night in Paradise : Laying bare the lives of Dallas' Strip Club DJs (Dallas Observer)
As she turns and saunters toward the back of the stage, giving all the tables in the front row a good long look, Paris steals a glance at the garter snug against her tanned left thigh. It's plenty of time for her to add up the cash folded neatly under the garter and know it's not enough. Time is running out. If she wants more tips, she's going to have to earn them.
KELLY VANCE: Still Hard: On the road to Sarajevo with wily filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard (East Bay Express)
Godard has never been much of a people person; ideas were always more important. His most sympathetic character may have been poor, mixed-up Pierrot le Fou, or perhaps the unwed-mother stand-in for the Virgin Mary in Hail Mary. But the briefly sketched tales of reporter Judith and Russian-Jewish Olga are genuinely moving. How does one develop a conscience in the age of multinationalism and digital recording? And where does one proceed from there? Olga may have a clue.
The Introduction to Roger Ebert's Book Movie Yearbook 2005
The new material in this year's edition was mostly written between August 2003 and July 2004. During the year I also went through some adventures with illness. I had surgery for salivary cancer in September, and in December spent a month in Seattle for radiation treatments. The surgery was not a big deal but the side effects of radiation were not pleasant, and I didn't really begin to feel restored until May or June.
Soldiers for the Truth
Reader Contribution
squirrel on the take
Howdy,
Here's a picture that the Mrs. took yesterday of one
of her little friends. Thought I'd send it along with
happy salutations...
Roma
Purple Gene Reviews
'Alone in the Dark'
Purple Genes' review of the movie "Alone in the Dark" (2005) Directed by Uwe Boll:
My brother JD said that he heard that there was a terrible movie that just came out….it was called "Alone in the Dark"….I said "How Bad"?....JD said "Real Bad"….Well I'd been looking for the Worst Movie in the World and I had done a little Rotten Tomato meter reading………"White Chicks" - 12%....."Cat Woman" - 9%........"Swept Away" (with Madonna) - 6%....."Battlefield Earth" - 4%...... "Alone in the Dark" - 1% out of 100%....this is a movie with "big" stars and a big budget and big explosions…….and it could be the "Worst" ….So, as I heard later in a from a line in the movie , I said "Im Goin' in"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I drove all the way over to the United Artist "9" and I paid $9 and I got popcorn and fruit punch and walked up the stairs and to the left and entered theater # 5 and I sat down and looked around and guess what ? ….I was All "Alone in the Dark"….not a single solitary person to be seen….I wanted to leave but I stuck it out through the Lions Gate previews of upcoming Drivel….."The Cave"……"The Jacket"…."High Tension" and then the monster tinged generic scary music and the credits roll………………….
10,000 years ago a native American population called the Abskani vanished from the face of the earth, but they left some archeological evidence of ancient paranormal activity, demon worship and "monsters"!!!! Edward Carnby (Christian Slater (who looks just like Larry Ellison of Oracle) "Gleaming the Cube" - "Young Guns II" - "True Romance" - "Broken Arrow") has been in the Amazon jungle for 6 months looking for an artifact…..a "key" actually…to unlock the "Secret" box????.......Aline Cedrac (Tara Reid "The Big Lebowski" - "Dr. T and the Women" - "Josie and the Pussycats" - "Van Wilder") is his nerd researcher girl friend and she's mad because he's been gone….and without a single call. Some evil doctor has dug up a gold box that has a monster in it and lets it out …It looks like a "Crock a sorry ass" gater faced stegosaur with fangs…..and alarms of highthened paranormal electrical lethal activity start going off all over the globe……It must be the evil demons from 10,000 years ago coming back to take over the planet!!!!!! Time for Commander Richards (Stephen Dorff "I Shot Andy Warhol" - "Space Truckers' - "Blade") to bring his army of bogeymonster busters out to protect every one……
Thousands of machine gun blasts later …thousands of dead army guys later and thousands of phony broken artifacts later (Actually filmed scenes at night in the Museum of Anthropology in Vancouver ) Edward, Aline and Commander Richards find their way down the shaft of the "Old Gold Mine" that just so happened to be the hidden lab of the evil doctor …that just happened to be under the old orphanage where 19 kids disappeared from….that just happened to lead to a primordial underground cave just crawling with millions of monster larvae waiting to take over again……I stayed till the stupid ending that's not worth spoiling……Shit for direction (there was none)…shit for script and dialogue "I'm goin' in"!....shit for cinematography (grainy)….super shit for monsters…..shit for editing….shit for the one sex scene….this movie was SHIT…but was it the WORST ever??????? I dare anyone to sit through "Superbabies - Super Geniuses" or "Clan of the Cave Bear" !!!!!!!!!!!
Purple Gene gives "Alone in the Dark" a big "O" for being such a big budget, big stars and big special effects piece of "SHIT"
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny & warm.
There was a bad link in yesterday's
Disinfotainment Today - it should be:
The Power of Nightmares is a BBC documentary with views on terrorism that make this the film most likely to never be seen in America.
The archived page has been corrected.
Predicts More Wintry Weather
Punxsutawney Phil
Punxsutawney Phil has spoken, and the news isn't good.
The world's most famous furry forecaster saw his shadow Wednesday on Gobbler's Knob, suggesting another six weeks of wintry weather.
The chubby critter delivered the prediction after he was pulled from his burrow in an oak stump at 7:31 a.m. by a top-hatted handler, and his prediction was greeted by boos from the thousands in attendance.
According to the Punxsutawney club, Phil saw his shadow for the 95th time. He hasn't seen his shadow 14 times; nine years have no record of the outcome.
Punxsutawney Phil
Reunion Tickets Fetch Huge Sums
Cream
Tickets to see the first British reunion shows by Cream, guitarist Eric Clapton's 1960s supergroup, in almost four decades were selling for more than 1,000 pounds (1,450 euros, 1,900 dollars).
Tickets for the trio's four nights at the Royal Albert Hall in London during May sold out in less than two hours when they went on sale earlier this week, carrying a face value of no more than 125 pounds.
Now, some Internet sites are re-selling tickets for up to 1,300 pounds, Britain's Press Association newswire said. Others were being advertised on auction website eBay for up 650 pounds for a pair, it added.
Cream
Hired By MSGOP
Tucker Carlson
MSGOP announced Wednesday it has hired the bow-tied conservative commentator Tucker Carlson to be host of his own prime-time show, starting sometime this spring.
Carlson's hiring will fill a slot left vacant when Deborah Norville decided to stop doing her 9 p.m. EST program. The move was widely expected since CNN decided a month ago not to offer Carlson another contract and to discontinue the political debate show "Crossfire."
Carlson will continue to be host of his own weekly PBS show, "Tucker Carlson Unfiltered."
Tucker Carlson
Final Season
'Star Trek: Enterprise'
"Star Trek: Enterprise," the latest incarnation of one of the most storied franchises in televised science-fiction history, will end its four-season run in May, broadcaster UPN said on Wednesday.
UPN said the last episode would air on Friday, May 13. The series generated 98 episodes over its run, although it struggled in the ratings.
'Star Trek: Enterprise'
Denver Cop & Bumper Sticker
Michael Karasek
Denver police Sgt. Michael Karasek will be disciplined for threatening to arrest a woman for displaying on her truck a profane bumper sticker about resident Bush, Police Chief Gerry Whitman said Tuesday.
An internal affairs investigation took just a day to complete, and the allegation against the officer was upheld, Whitman said.
About 11 a.m. Monday, Shasta Bates, 26, was confronted by a man while standing in a UPS store. The man told her he was upset by her bumper sticker, which read "F--- Bush."
Bates, three UPS employees and a Rocky Mountain News reporter who happened to be there all say that the officer threatened to arrest the woman if she didn't remove the bumper sticker from her truck.
Michael Karasek
Finally Offering Playboy in S. California
Adelphia
Adelphia Communications Corp., the cable company that once adamantly refused to offer pornography to its subscribers, said Wednesday it will add a XXX adult video-on-demand service to its southern California systems.
The hard-core pornography service will be available starting Feb. 4 and may also be added to some other Adelphia systems across the country, a spokeswoman said.
Adelphia, which broadly added pornography to its systems only after the company went bankrupt in the summer of 2002, will offer a package of videos provided by Playboy Enterprises Inc., a Playboy spokesman said.
Founder John Rigas (R-Sanctimonious Crook) kept adult entertainment off of the company's systems nationwide, considering it immoral. That included the Los Angeles area, Adelphia's largest market.
Adelphia
Hospital News
Houston
Following a suicide attempt, R&B singer Houston has gouged out his eye while on an overseas performance junket.
According to sources, the singer first attempted to jump out of a London hotel window last Thursday. Prevented from doing so by his security staff, Houston was locked in his room, at which time the injury occurred. No additional details as to his current condition or whereabouts have been disclosed.
Featured in a McDonald's commercial, Houston's 2004 hit single "I Like That" peaked at No. 11 on the Hot 100 singles chart. The song also featured Chingy, Nate Dogg and I-20.
Houston
Another Pass
Paris Hilton
Prosecutors said Wednesday they will not file charges against Paris Hilton stemming from a scrape at a newsstand in which she allegedly pocketed a copy of her homemade sex video without paying.
The county district attorney's office dropped the case for lack of evidence after investigating the hotel heiress for suspicion of petty theft.
A security video obtained by the TV show "Celebrity Justice" appeared to show Hilton grabbing the video and walking off after buying several magazines. Gerry Castro, an employee at Swing News, told the show at the time that Hilton became furious after spotting the video for sale.
"She threw her 80 cents change at me and took the video and said, `I'm taking this and I'm not buying it,'" Castro told the program. He later told KABC-TV of Los Angeles that Hilton and her bodyguards attempted to rip up a poster and pull down a display advertising the video.
Paris Hilton
Ready for Primetime
'SNL' Players
NBC has ordered a pilot for a comedy starring "Saturday Night Live" head writer Tina Fey, while ABC has given the go-ahead to a project featuring former "SNL" cast member Chris Kattan.
The untitled Fey project will star Fey as the head writer of a "SNL"-like variety show, focusing on her efforts to control a volatile star and executive producer. She also wrote the pilot and will serve as an executive producer. It will be filmed in the summer after "SNL" wraps its current season.
ABC's untitled Kattan comedy centers on an egocentric consumer reporter (Kattan) who thinks the world revolves around him. Kattan will serve as a producer.
'SNL' Players
Pulls 'Lustful' Super Bowl Car Ad
Ford
Ford Motor Co. on Wednesday yanked a planned Super Bowl advertisement that depicts a clergyman tempted by a new pickup truck after some victims of clergy sex abuse complained it made light of their trauma.
The ad shows a set of car keys placed on a collection plate. The clergyman finds a new Lincoln Mark LT truck in the parking lot, and lovingly caresses the exterior.
The car's owner then enters the picture, with his little girl poking her head from behind him - the implication being she had dropped the keys in the plate. The clergyman hands over the keys, then is depicted adding the letters L-T to a message board advertisting an upcoming sermon, to spell lust.
Ford
Alleged 'Softball Thrower'
Jeff Gannon
Who is Jeff Gannon, why are some White House reporters saying terrible things about him, and why did the group that handles credentials for Capitol Hill correspondents turn down his request last summer, as E&P has learned?
Gannon, the White House correspondent for Talon News, a pro-conservative Web site linked to GOPUSA.com, has drawn attention recently among those who cover the president for what many consider to be an especially partisan approach. He is known for inserting blatantly pro-Bush statements in his inquiries at televised press briefings.
"Would they let Joe Lockhart or someone who works for the DNC [Democratic National Committee] come in and do that? I don't think so," Edwin Chen, who has covered the president for the Los Angeles Times, told E&P. "They ought to get legitimate members of the fourth estate, not political hacks on either side."
GOPUSA.com and TalonNews.com both have ties to the Texas Republican Party, according to a report today in The Boston Globe. Gannon "has virtually no journalistic background ... and routinely reprints long passages verbatim from official press releases as original news articles on his website," the Globe charged.
Jeff Gannon
The Secret of Getting to Sleep
Music
Having trouble sleeping? Don't bother with a cup of cocoa or counting sheep -- listening to music at bedtime is the way to get a restful night, Taiwanese researchers have found.
In a paper published in the February issue of the Journal of Advanced Nursing, a team from Taiwan's Tzu Chi University said they studied the sleep patterns of 60 people aged between 60 and 83 who had difficulty sleeping.
The team found that those who listened to a selection of soft, slow music experienced physical changes that aided restful sleep, such as lower heart and respiratory rates.
Music
Wards Off Evil Spirits
Feng Shui Underpants
If your horoscope is looking a bit worrying for the coming Lunar New Year, a Hong Kong company has just the thing to put it right: feng shui underpants.
Ancient belief has it that each year reflects the character of its associated beast and as roosters are considered unpredictable the coming 12 months are expected to volatile.
The underpants, which come in red, grey and white and in boxers for men and briefs for women, depict a dragon on the front in accordance with Chinese belief that the mythical creatures balance out the erratic nature of roosters.
Feng Shui Underpants
In Memory
Vicki LaMotta
The legendary beauty Vicki LaMotta, whose marriage to boxer Jake LaMotta was portrayed in the film "Raging Bull," has died. She was 75.
LaMotta died Jan. 25 at Boca Raton Community Hospital, about six months after having open heart surgery, said her son, Harrison Foster.
In the movie, Robert DeNiro plays the boxer who is obsessed with his young wife, played by Cathy Moriarty, and drives her away.
Vicki LaMotta posed nude for Playboy in November 1981, when she was 51. At the time, she told the St. Louis Post Dispatch that she posed nude to show that life doesn't end at 30.
Beverly "Vicki" Thailer was born on Jan. 23, 1930, in the Bronx. She met LaMotta at a community pool and she married as a teen.
She is survived by Foster, a daughter, Christi LaMotta, sisters Pat Follini and Phyllis Genovese, brothers Donald Thailer and Joe Francis, and one granddaughter. Two sons, Jake LaMotta Jr. and Joe LaMotta, predeceased her.
No services are planned. Foster suggested memorial donations in her name to the Humane Society of the United States.
Vicki LaMotta
