BartCop Entertainment Archives - Thursday, 13 January, 2005

Thursday

13 January, 2005

big hammer - bigger hammer

(Updated Daily)

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Issue #136

Disinfotainment Today

By Michael Dare



Issue #136
is brought to you by

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One of These Tsunami Pictures is a Fake
 
Ask Me Anything
 
How come guys get so mad when we accidentally injure your cojones? Say while play wrestling, playing sports, moving the wrong way on the couch, or a zillion other situations. At least in my experience, there is usually a couple of minutes of intense, almost psycho like anger. Jeez, it was an ACCIDENT. Not our fault God placed them in such a vulnerable area.
- Veronica Dell, Houston
 
It's well known that whenever a newspaper "kicked" the French novelist Honoré Balzac with what he considered to be a worthless piece of literary criticism, he crumpled like a leaf and bawled like a baby. Since then, whenever a man crumples like a leaf and bawls like a baby upon being kicked in the "Balzac," it's in fact his personal tribute to the writer of La Comédie Humaine.
MD
 
Don't you think people in automobiles will be more visible, thus safer, if they use their headlights when it rains?
- Eliot Hall
 
I assume this is in reference to my mention of the new California law stating you have to put on your headlights whenever you use your windshield wipers. While I certainly agree that you should put on your headlights when it's raining, that's not what the law says. This law is an invitation for a letter-of-the-law pinhead cop to give you a ticket for not turning on your headlights when you were using your windshield wipers to clean off a splattered bug. Don't think it ain't gonna happen, especially in places like L.A., where city extortionists run around giving tickets to people who park on the wrong side of the street on street cleaning day AFTER the streets have been cleaned but before the sign says you can park.
MD
 
Why did Jeb Bush go on a fact finding mission to Southeast Asia?
- Rita M
 
It was easier than sending Southeast Asia on a fact finding mission to Jeb Bush.
MD
 
An old picture of young GW Bush, showed his eye brows were straight across his nose. I read once it's a sign of dementia, is it true?
- Ole vet
 
Yes, it's true, seeing old pictures of GW Bush is a sign of dementia.
MD
 
Does God really care about football?
Cheers,
Charles Watkins
 
Yes, he just doesn't care who wins. He gets off on watching his creations running head first at each other.
MD
 
Can you burp the alphabet?
Bill Moses
 
If I couldn't, I would explode.
MD
 
Do you think God condemns the bonobos to chimpanzee hell because of their licentious greeting rituals? Or are they merely acting the way God made them? And if so, why is God pleased with uninhibited hairy monkey humping but offended by uninhibited hairless monkey humping? Is it the hair, or lack thereof? Maybe what really offends God is shaving, not uninhibited humping?
- Jeff
 
Everything offends God when he's in a pissy mood. If he's omnipotent, he obviously isn't benevolent. If he's benevolent, he obviously isn't omnipotent. This pisses him off even more. Blame the recent tsunami on gas he got from some Indonesian food.
MD
 
Can an omnipotent god make a rock too large for him/her to lift?
- Chriss

Yes, but he can't eat anything bigger than his own head.
MD

Can an omnipotent god make him/herself impotent? And then what happens?
- Chriss

He reincarnates as a bonobo monkey and fucks everything that moves.
MD
 
What's the deal with those stupid scroll-down lists of states that one must use when filling out online forms? I live in New York, it's not too difficult for me to type "NY". I can normally do it on the first, or second try. Who's the brain surgeon that thought that it'd be better for me to open up an alphabetical list of states (many of which I've never even heard of- "Nebraska"?!? Where the Hell's that?), and try and click on "New York" before it whizzes past?
- Len X.
 
Scroll lists were patented in the 50s. David Rockefeller gets a nickel every time someone uses one.
MD
 
When is a door not a door? And why did Freda Stare?
- Tim Omachi
 
When he's buried in Paris and Her eyelids were broken.
MD
 
Why did John Kerry send me an email stating that he was counting on ordinary voters like me to assure that every vote is counted?  Who knew he meant it literally? What made John think we'd be able to do what he was unwilling to even try?  Do voting irregularities fix themselves, or must central services intervene?  Tired of ugly ducts?  Has anyone seen Sam Lowery??????
 yours in boca raton,
- palantir

    That wasn't John Kerry who sent you that message. John Kerry was roasted over an open spit by Satan some time in early October of last year. I should know because my correspondent Helen got his kidneys in a lovely pie. Since then, every missive from the Democratic party has in fact been written by David Rockefeller, who owns the people who own the people who own the voting machines.
    I'm supposed to know who Sam Lowery is? According to Google, Sam Lowery was a prominent businessman in Burnt Corn. Burnt corn is something I know about. Why haven't you asked me something about burnt corn?
MD
 
why do i keep dreaming that i can't find my car?
- palantir
 
I'm sorry, I'm no longer answering questions that don't start with a capital letter.
MD
 
How do you sleep at night? Are there sheep involved?
- ed lynn
 
Ever try sleeping with a sheep? They keep you up all night with their relentless demands for mint jelly. I sleep just fine as long as the sheep stay in the refrigerator.
MD
 
How happy is a clam?
- TTFN, Baron Dave
 
Not very. Clams are notoriously depressed and angry, even steamed. They often need a Valium not to go off the deep end. (Suicidal clams are moving to Ontario since they found there's Prozac in the drinking water.) They'd as soon slit your throat as provide you with tasty nourishment.
MD
 
Quiz of the Week
- Ironic Times -
 
Job Opening of the Week
Gallery of the Week
Stan Murmur, Butt-Print Artist
Man, can this asshole paint!
 
I Feel So Much Safer Now
 
"Ten students between the ages of 11 and 12 were strip-searched as officials at their charter school tried to find a missing $10 bill. Seven girls and three boys at the Mainland Preparatory Academy were searched down to their underwear Thursday after one of the girls reported the money missing, said Principal Wilma Green. The money was not found."
 
"Miami Beach city officials reportedly told a 10-year-old girl who wanted to sell cookies and drinks in her front yard to raise money for tsunami victims that she could not hold the fund-raiser because they could not grant her an occupational license."
 
    "The Iraqi capital Baghdad has degenerated from one of the Middle East's most attractive and affluent cities in 1990 to 'the least attractive city' in the world to live in. 
    "It is currently ranked the worst out of 215 cities assessed by Mercer Human Resource Consulting, with the lowest score 'based on detailed assessments and evaluations of 39 key quality-of-life determinants', including economic, human and social services and development as well as security and safety."
- Dr. Abdul-Hadi Jiad Tamimi: Chaos vs. Hope in Iraq -
 
Headline We're Bound to See
 
Iraqis move to Sri Lanka to benefit from U.S. aid
 
Science Experiment of the Week
Make yourself a match rocket.
 
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know
 
"Scramble the letters in South Florida's four hurricanes, 'Charlie, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne,' and you get the hidden message 'Jesus Is Finally Coming.'"
 
Stupid Question of the Week
 
Forget HAARP (High-Frequency Active Auroral Research Program) and take a look at SuperDARN (Super Dual Auroral Radar Network). They say it's for "Studying the Earth's Upper Atmosphere, Ionosphere, and Connection into Space." What are they REALLY using it for?
 
Send your answers (or more questions) to stupidquestion@disinfotainmenttoday.com.
 
Don't Take My Word For It
 
    "I am bewildered by the world reaction to the tsunami tragedy. Why are newspapers, television and politicians making such a fuss? Why has the British public forked out more than £100m to help the survivors, and why is Tony Blair now promising 'hundreds of millions of pounds'? Why has Australia pledged £435m and Germany £360m? And why has Mr. Bush pledged £187m? Of course it's wonderful to see the human race rallying to the aid of disaster victims, but it's the inconsistency that has me foxed. Nobody is making this sort of fuss about all the people killed in Iraq, and yet it's a human catastrophe of comparable dimensions. 
    "According to the only scientific estimate attempted, Iraqi deaths since the war began number more than 100,000. The tsunami death toll is in the region of 150,000. Yet in the case of Iraq, the media seems reluctant to impress on the public the scale of the carnage. 
    "I haven't seen many TV reporters standing in the ruins of Fallujah, breathlessly describing how, in 30 years of reporting, they've never seen a human tragedy on this scale. The Pope hasn't appealed for everyone to remember the Iraqi dead in their prayers, and MTV hasn't gone silent in their memory."
 
"What it does in the Muslim world, the rest of the world is given an opportunity to see American generosity, American values in action."
- Secretary of State Colin Powell explaining why we help tsunami victims out of political expediency, not basic human decency -
 
"When a thief has nothing to steal, he regards his 'virtue' as real."
- Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 22a -
 
"It hasn't leaked out yet (don't worry it will) but somewhere deep inside the bowels of the neo-conservative wing among the radical born-again Christian faction of the Bush administration there's much mounting and strong belief that last week's devastating South Asia earthquake and tsunami is God's way of allowing CNN, FOX News and MSNBC to show hours and hours of uncut and uncensored footage of benevolent uniformed U.S. personnel providing aid and succor to masses of non-white peoples searching for lost loved ones and groveling for meager scraps of food among scenes of indescribable death, mutilation, torment, anguish and suffering."
 
"If in the darkness of ignorance, you don't recognize a person's true nature, look to see whom he has chosen for his leader."
- Rumi, Mathnawi [IV, 1640] -
 
"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
- Paul Fix -
 
"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do."
- Henry Ford -
 
"Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses."
- Xarvon, Alien Investigator -
 
"They tell us that we live in a great free republic; that our institutions are democratic; that we are a free and self-governing people. That is too much, even for a joke... Wars throughout history have been waged for conquest and plunder... And that is war in a nutshell. The master class has always declared the wars; the subject class has always fought the battles."
- Eugene Debs -
 
"War is good."
- Pundits for a Buck -
 
"What our leaders and pundits never let slip is that the terrorists -whatever else they might be - might also be rational human beings; which is to say that in their own minds they have a rational justification for their actions. Most terrorists are people deeply concerned by what they see as social, political, or religious injustice and hypocrisy, and the immediate grounds for their terrorism is often retaliation for an action of the United States."
- William Blum -
 
"Always do right. This will gratify some and astonish the rest."
- Mark Twain -
 
"Why must the relief of suffering, in this unprecedentedly prosperous world, rely on the whims of citizens and the appeals of pop stars and comedians? The obvious answer is that governments have other priorities. And the one that leaps to mind is war. If the money they have promised to the victims of the tsunami still falls far short of the amounts required, it is partly because the contingency fund upon which they draw in times of crisis has been spent on blowing people to bits in Iraq. If our leaders were as generous in helping people as they are in killing them, no one would ever go hungry."
 
"Disease does not come from the sky. It does not fall from anywhere into our laps. It is something that we create. So by the same token, we can create, knowingly, purposely, a strong immune system, and if we work on that, chances are that we might never be sick. To me, sickness is not normal. Even though we have come to accept that having a flu once or twice, or a cold once or twice a year, is a normal thing, it is not, should not be. Health should be normal."
- Hans Frischeisen: Naturopath -
 
"Southern Hemisphere stands up to Washington. In elections this year, there has been a near sweep (the exception being Colombia) of South American governments by left-leaning candidates who won office by campaigning against Bush and American neocon policies. The result: an emerging bloc led by Brazil and Venezuela - and India - that has stopped free-trade expansion via the WTO and FTAA."
 
"Only one small spot in the vast Indian Ocean basin seems to have received full advanced warning of the waves to come -- the ostensibly British island of Diego Garcia, which is actually a sizable U.S. military base, a stationary 'aircraft carrier' for the war in Iraq. It also houses 'Camp Justice,' one of the secret little hideaway resorts the administration has set up, or contracted out for, on prime global real estate to hold 'high value' prisoners in the war on terror. The camp, named by someone who must have had a yen for the Orwellian, is part of an offshore Bermuda Triangle of injustice set up by the Bush administration - two interlinked prison systems, in fact; one run by the Pentagon and the other by the CIA, both meant to keep prisoners and practices far from the prying eyes of the American public and its court system; both, as it now turns out, anchored in that jewel-in-the-crown, Guantanamo (or Gitmo to devotees) - a grim prison camp set up on territory in Cuba that is close at hand, U.S.-controlled, and yet - or so Bush officials hoped until the Supreme Court ruled otherwise last year - beyond the reach of our courts."
 
"The only thing that's been a worse flop than the organization of non-violence has been the organization of violence."
- Joan Baez -
 
"I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up."
- Tom Lehrer -
 
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei -
 
"The year before I took office as governor, California had 300 days of sunshine. Last year, under my administration, we had 312 days of sunshine. That's what true leadership is all about."
- California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger: State of the State Address (a joke in the midst of an amazingly excellent speech that might actually convince you he knows what he's doing, unless it's all lies in which case he can go fuck himself.) -
 
"If we here in this chamber do not work together to reform the government, the people will rise up and reform it themselves. And you know something. I will join them. And I will fight by their side."
- Schwarzenegger in the same speech -
 
"Power-lust is a weed that grows in vacant lots of empty minds.
- Ayn Rand -

"The presidential vote for George W. Bush does not compute. By examining a very wide range of sworn testimonies from voters, polling officials and others close to the administration of the Nov. 2 election; by statistical analysis of the certified vote by mathematicians, election experts and independent research teams who have conducted detailed studies of the results in Ohio, New Mexico, Florida and elsewhere; from experts who studied the voting machines, tabulators and other electronic equipment on which a fair vote count has depended; and from a team of attorneys and others who have challenged the Ohio results; the freepress.org investigative team has compiled a portrait of an election whose true outcome must be investigated further by the Congress, the media and all Americans - because it was almost certainly not an honest victory for George W. Bush.
"
 
    "We are crouching in a house in the slum of Santa Marta in Rio. Just below is the beautiful city, its beaches full of beautiful people. Inside the house, a group of adolescent boys have covered their heads in balaclavas. They are stuffing little plastic bags with white powder from a metal tray, all the while lovingly describing their 'pieces', which run from a magnum to rocket launchers and home-made bombs. Their leader, barely out of his teens, makes clear: 'Without the white stuff there is no crime. This is where the real money is. We are the parallel power.' There is no question of the power these crazy young men wield over the thousands who live in Rio's slums. One man recalls how, aged 11, he was drawn into the gangs because his single mother could not afford sandals for her kids and went through rubbish bins for food. He is determined his own sons will get an education and not join the gangs.
    "As the packing goes on, the young boys begin snorting and waving guns: 'We buy them from the police.' Once again the money from cocaine has completely rotted the system. We end up filming a police raid - guns firing in every direction. Packs of cocaine are seized. Three weeks later, we hear the policeman in charge of the raid has been arrested - for selling drugs back to the gangs."
- Angus Macqueen: The white stuff -
 
"Politicians and Wall Streeters are peddling the Big Lie that Social Security is inevitably going bust. It is not! The Social Security System (SSS) runs at a surplus of $100-$120 billion annually and will continue to do so throughout the twenty-first century! This trust fund system is one of the few programs set up by the federal government that works. In 1999, SSS received $383 billion in checks, $436 billion in taxes, and an additional $49 billion in interest. Instead of red ink, Social Security made almost $102 billion in profit, to add to the more than $652 billion it had in surplus from previous years."
 
"There are dangerous and fanatical individuals and groups around the world who have been inspired by extreme Islamist ideas and who will use the techniques of mass terror - the attacks on America and Madrid make this only too clear. But the nightmare vision of a uniquely powerful hidden organization waiting to strike our societies is an illusion. Wherever one looks for this Al Qaeda organization, from the mountains of Afghanistan to the 'sleeper cells' in America, the British and Americans are chasing a phantom enemy."
- The Power of Nightmares: The Rise of the Politics of Fear: a three-hour historical film by Adam Curtis recently aired by the British Broadcasting Corp., quoted in Robert Sheer's Is Al Qaeda Just a Bush Boogeyman? -
 
"Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle."
- Abraham Lincoln -
 
"It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out, it's the grain of sand in your shoe."
- Robert Service -
 
"If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow human being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again."
- William Penn -
 
"Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't."
- Pete Seeger -
 
"Lourdes Sayan feels the rush of freedom with every public kiss, or when she holds her girlfriend's hand in the street. She wears her hair short above the ears instead of down to her hips as she did in Peru, where peers pressured her to look like everyone else, something she knew she wasn't. In the United States, she realized what she is: lesbiana. Now Sayan, 28, might be forced to go back to Peru, a possibility she and her Tampa girlfriend fear could threaten more than her freedom to be gay. They fear she could disappear into jail, be beaten, be raped. Sayan has joined the ranks of hundreds of other immigrants who have applied for political asylum the past 10 years based on sexual orientation."
 
"The Supreme Court rejected an appeal Monday by four men who challenged Florida's ban on adoption by gay couples, avoiding another contentious fight over gay rights. Florida is the only state with a blanket law prohibiting homosexuals from adopting children, but the high court was told that other states could now feel free to copy the ban."
 
"Where is it written that 'straight' people make better parents? Where's the proof in a society gone wild? There are millions of unwanted children (birthed perhaps by religiously guilty women who didn't want to 'sin') without parents or a home. The BUSH administration isn't going to do DIDDLY SQUAT for these kids as his recent cuts to health insurance, education, college funding etc. have proven. None of the religious fanatics like Jerry Falwell and the other "brethren" that frequent prostitutes because they can't even get laid without paying are going to take care of these kids.  For those of you familiar with the Franklin Cover Up, you know what politicians would use these children for, and it ain't pretty. So, now gay people want to continue to adopt these UNWANTED throw-away kids, and our courts say no? This country is going down the toilet at the speed of light."
 
"New evidence suggests that the Abu Ghraib prisoners were subjected not only to torture and psychological abuse, they were underfed, malnourished and made to eat food so bad it inspired riots. A little-known private contractor, run by an American civilian, is said to be to blame."
 
    "Michael Chertoff, appointed by President Bush to head the Homeland Security Department, may have shielded from criminal prosecution, while in charge of the U.S. Government's 9/11 investigation, a former client suspected by law enforcement of having funneled millions of dollars directly to Osama Bin Laden.
    "News accounts regarding Egyptian-born Dr. Magdy el-Amir's legal difficulties contain unanswered questions about undue political influence and its effect on national security. A foreign intelligence report made available to the Chairman of the House International Committee alleged an HMO owned by Dr. el Amir, a man at the center of terrorist intrigue in Jersey City, was funded by Ben Laden, and that in turn he was skimming money from the HMO to fund 'terrorist activities.'
    "At the same time el-Amir was pitching state business he had begun making generous contributions to the governing Republican party, donating nearly $18,000 to various GOP candidates in 1996."
 
    "In light of conservative journalist and pundit Armstrong Williams' concession that he received $240,000 from the Department of Education through a contract with Ketchum Public Relations, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington Tuesday filed a series of Freedom of Information Act requests to 22 government agencies, including all cabinet agencies.
    "'How extensively has the administration used propaganda to shore up its controversial policies?' asked Melanie Sloan, executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington a non-profit group dedicated to holding public officials to high standards of behavior. 'Did it pay any commentators to speak out in support of the Patriot Act? Is it paying anyone now to convince the public that Social Security is in crisis? By filing these FOIAs, we hope to answer these questions.'"
 
"Trees are bad."
- Pundits for a Buck -
 
    "The electoral group headed by Iyad Allawi, the interim Iraqi prime minister, on Monday handed out cash to journalists to ensure coverage of its press conferences in a throwback to Ba'athist-era patronage ahead of parliamentary elections on January 30. 
    "After a meeting held by Mr. Allawi's campaign alliance in west Baghdad, reporters, most of whom were from the Arabic-language press, were invited upstairs where each was offered a 'gift' of a $100 bill contained in an envelope."
 
"Bribery is yummy."
- Pundits for a Buck -
 
"When are you going to tell the truth to the people of the United States?  Why don't you tell them why you want to be in Iraq so bad?  I was there for six months and I did not see the first weapon of mass destruction. I did receive orders from the company commander to shoot children if they threw small rocks at us and that was when I figured out that the entire thing was way over the line.  Over 1200 soldiers have died in Iraq so that you can have a couple billion more dollars, that should make you feel very good about yourself.  The soldiers that have died for this sham that you have put over on the American people are so much more deserving than that. You are not worth the dust off of their boots. If you truly had respect for the military and the people that serve then you would not continue to kill them in your war. I joined the Army to protect my country and not to be a mercenary for a political despot."
 
"In the triggering of Earthquakes or Volcanoes, the trick is in determining the unique resonant frequency of the Earth's mantle AT THAT PARTICULAR SPOT (or target!) ON THE EARTH. Once the conspirators determine this, they can unleash an ELF carrier frequency through the earth, and then SUPERIMPOSE the harmonic frequency of the "target zone" using a second set of transmitters. This might be called: "Selective Targeting". Of course, the conspirators will also have predetermined that the target zone will have built up enough stress within the zone to be "ripe" for activation."
 
    "Iraqis are reminded daily of the 70% unemployment with the gas shortage driving the costs of everything through the roof. Even petrol is 1000 Iraq Dinars (ID) per liter on the black market, which unless you are willing to endure 12-24 hours waiting in a line, is the only way to get your tank filled.
    "When I was in Iraq one month ago it was 300 ID per liter. Imagine what you would do if in your country you had 70% unemployment, were without a job, and the cost of fuel rose 333% in one month, thus driving the costs of everything from food to heating oil up?
    "Speaking of the gas crisis, this morning a pipeline between Kirkuk and the Beji refinery was exploded, and several lines southwest of Kirkuk were also destroyed."
- Dahr Jamail's Iraq Dispatches: This is not a life -
 
    "Forcing naked Iraqi prisoners to pile themselves in human pyramids was not torture, because American cheerleaders do it every year, a court was told today.
    "A lawyer defending Specialist Charles Graner, who is accused of being a ringleader in the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal, argued that piling naked prisoners in pyramids was a valid form of prisoner control.
    "Don't cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year. Is that torture?' said Guy Womack, Sergeant Graner's lawyer, in opening arguments to the ten-member military jury at the reservists court martial."
 
    "Didn't Steven Spielberg force movie extras to stand naked in the cold waiting for showers while shooting Schindler's List? What the Nazis did wasn't torture because American filmmakers ask extras to do it all the time."
- Mr. Logic -
 
"What is the Global Union?  Members of the: Bilderbergs, Council on Foreign Relations, & Trilateral Commission. The name of the European Economic Community (EEC) was changed to the new name of EUROPEAN UNION (EU), as agreed to in the 1992 Maastricht Treaty. This EU now has one central bank in Frankfurt, Germany, one monetary system (except for three holdout nations), one judicial system, one government, and are working on one military force so that they can abandon the current NATO force. Their present goal for changing the name of North, Central and South America, plus the Caribbean Islands to the new name - AMERICAN UNION - is the year 2005, which is just around the corner of time. They will then change the Asian Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) (Created by President George H.W. Bush in 1989) to its new name - ASIAN UNION, by around 2010. During this same period, the former SOVIET UNION will be resurrected, but this time not under hard line Communist control, but under the direct and absolute control of the Elite. Then by around the year 2015 (or sooner), the governing body over all these four GLOBAL REGIONS will assume full command, and will be called the - GLOBAL UNION (or perhaps another name will be used by then). By this time, national sovereignty of all nations will be lost completely, and we will all be under strict Elite control. Then, there will be only two classes of people - the Elite, and the rest of us - their slaves."
 
"The Bilderbergs are swell."
- Pundits for a Buck -
 
"The threat from a collapsing mountain in the Atlantic Ocean could unleash deadly tidal waves on a similar scale to the Asian tsunami, a scientist warned today. Hundreds of millions of people could die in a disaster affecting Britain and the eastern United States. Professor Bill McGuire called for an early warning system to be installed to counter the potential danger. Researchers have discovered that a chunk of volcano in the Canary Islands the size of the Isle of Man is on the brink of falling into the sea. Scientists believe it could break away when the Cumbre Vieja volcano in La Palma next erupts."
 
"In the US, the technology is being perfected under the High-frequency Active Aural Research Program (HAARP) as part of the ("Star Wars") Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI). Recent scientific evidence suggests that HAARP is fully operational and has the ability of potentially triggering floods, droughts, hurricanes and earthquakes. From a military standpoint, HAARP is a weapon of mass destruction. Potentially, it constitutes an instrument of conquest capable of selectively destabilizing agricultural and ecological systems of entire regions."
 
"Not since the time of Noah has God used water so effectively to harass sinners and wreak havoc upon those who don't flatter Him with sufficient regularity. As unsaved, impoverished Hindus toiled in beachside shacks on Christmas instead of exchanging expensive gifts from American department stores to celebrate the Baby Jesus' Birthday, the Lord was plotting their horrific, briny demise. True Christians know from the Great Flood that one of God's favorite ways to indiscriminately kill enormous swaths of children is by drowning them and watching them gasp for air and while floating like little discarded Styrofoam cups in the tide. Sometimes, He extends an enormous hand as if He is about to rescue the bobbing tot, only to retract it at the last minute to teach the drowning child a valuable lesson about the ineffable nature of God's love."
 
    "Markland's research into so-called 'stand off' detection and warning systems - systems that can identify concealed weapons on individual attackers at distances up to 50 meters - will combine existing thermal sensors with new thermal signature-processing technology to create tools to help military and police personnel screen for would-be assailants.
    "'There are currently no adequate technology solutions available to homeland security and military personnel that can help them identify a suicide bomber or terrorist gunman before the attacker can get close enough to inflict real harm,' said Mr. Tarini. 'We believe that Markland's research may represent a leap forward in the creation of systems that can detect these attackers with a degree of success.'"
 
"Contrary to widespread childish opinion, most of the important things that happen in the world, happen because powerful forces intend them to happen, not because of some so-called 'sociological' or other merely statistical coincidence of the types reported for the popular edification of the easily deluded. The new Bush administration wishes to settle accounts with Iraq, in memory of the passions of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and former U.S. President George Bush. As long as that remains a prevalent Anglo-American intention, a new Middle East war, bigger than any yet seen, is more or less inevitable under presently reigning global influences, whether or not any significant number of Israeli or Islamic leaders wish it to occur."
- Lyndon Larouche: January 27, 2001 -
 
"We've been very clear that this is not about public policy. As an organization, UCS does disagree with the Bush administration on a range of policies, but when we agree, we like to say so. While the Bush administration has had a dismal record on environmental protection, they have done a terrific job on cleaning up diesel pollutants, and that's something that we applaud. But on the question of science, we have seen this administration systematically block decision makers from having unadulterated, unvarnished access to what the research has to say, and that's just unacceptable."
 
"What if your bank told you they have some good news for you? That they're going to save themselves some money by not giving you a receipt on your ATM withdrawals any more. And they're going to save even more money by reporting to you monthly only the balance in your account, not the individual transactions that show how they reached that balance? Would you trust them? Or would you run lickety-split to another bank? But that’s exactly what the companies who make voting machines are telling us."
- Carolyn Kay: Voting Machine Fraud -
 
"Why be a man when you can be a success?"
- Bertolt Brecht -
 
"What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure."
- Samuel Johnson -
 
"Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit."
- Aristotle -
 
"A One World Government and one-unit monetary system, under permanent non-elected hereditary oligarchists who self-select from among their numbers in the form of a feudal system as it was in the Middle Ages. In this One World entity, population will be limited by restrictions on the number of children per family, diseases, wars, famines, until 1 billion people who are useful to the ruling class, in areas which will be strictly and clearly defined, remain as the total world population."
- Dr. John Coleman: Conspirators Hierarchy: The Story of the Committee of 300 -
 
"No one tells the member countries about the 'earthquake'. However, the U.S. DOES WARN its military base in the area. And from this military base, part of the invasion of Aceh is proceeding with TWO AIRCRAFT CARRIERS and led by the U.S.'s pre-emptive invasion of Iraq leadership. In a bitter irony, part of this operation is being coordinated out of America's Naval base in Diego Garcia. The U.S. warns its naval base, though fails to warn Indian Ocean rim governments."
 
"No one voted on Election Day to destroy the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge but President Bush is now claiming a mandate to do exactly that. Congressional leaders are pushing for a quick vote that would turn America's greatest sanctuary for Arctic wildlife into a vast, polluted oil field. Even worse, they are planning to avoid public debate on this devastating measure by hiding it in a must-pass budget bill. Please go to http://www.savebiogems.org/arctic/takeaction.asp?ms=RR0501 right now and send a message telling your U.S. senators and representative to reject this sneak attack on the Arctic Refuge."
 
"When you are writing a novel you have absolute power but with a screenplay you are working with a collaborative medium and are maybe the eighth most powerful collaborator. I knew that coming in because you would have to be a fool not to know that."
- David Benioff -
 
"Right now you have a screenplay you're working on, or one you want to work on. So besides each month's exercise, you have one other thing to do: write ten pages of your script. Doesn't matter which ten pages - can be consecutive scenes or not, all action scenes or all character scenes. But it has to be at least ten pages, in screenplay format. They don't have to be perfect (yet), but no dashing out the pages at ten till midnight on the last day of the month. If you already have a partially completed script, then you can choose to either write ten pages or rewrite ten. Either way, at the end of the year, you'll have a complete first draft. Besides finishing a draft of a screenplay, you may also grow as a writer by stretching your mind with new concepts from these exercises."
- Jim Mercurio: Creating Your Personal Character Arc in 12 Months -
 
"O, blame me not, if I no more can write!"
- William Shakespeare: Sonnet CIII -
 
Everything Else
 
I'd like to apologize for sending people last week to a page of tsunami pictures that was a blog also containing some hideous pornography. Here is the absolute best page for real photos and videos of the tsunami.
 
This site is an incredibly good resource for eating right.
 
You knew there had to be a site devoted to proving there's life on Mars.
 
I've actually got good enough taste not to show you this Greeting card from hell.
 
Can't decide between Serius or XM satellite radio systems? Here's a good diagnosis of the difference from someone with both.
 
People who think that chemtrails are a paranoid tinfoil-hat urban myth might try to explain these aerosol fibers that rained down on a Texas town. Government plot or webs from balloon spiders, you tell me.
 
 
Contact George W. Bush - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Freemasons - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Skull and Bones - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Carlyle Group - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Illuminati - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Satan - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact both houses of Congress - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact the Supreme Court - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Dick Cheney - vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Halliburton - vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Saddam Hussein - vice.president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Osama bin Laden - thetwins@whitehouse.gov
Contact Jeb Bush - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Fidel Castro - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Kim Jong Il -
eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac - france-presse@un.int
Contact the Pope - accreditamenti@pressva.va
Contact God - president@whitehouse.gov
 
 
 
Don't let this happen to you
Subscribe to dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY
 
Link to Disinfotainment Today with one of these tasteful banners.

dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY archives are here.
 
I can't believe you haven't already checked out Emulsional Problems.


Boo hoo
My tsunami orphan was defective and I can't get my money back
.
Please donate so I can buy another one.
 


Acknowledgment

dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.

Thanks,

Daryl B. Helltopay
 
 
 
 
 

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'Best of TBH Politoons'

Click Here!



Thanks, again, Tim!

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Jazz From Hills

Trimmed Bush and Hedges

New Year, More Death

Is it my epistimelogical type of word spew or do I really want to know the ultimate ramifications of a young man in a Polo shirt looking for pussy like Bunnypants did as a young swinging dick?

Tsumami, tsumamee, tsumammymamy, baby. Why are the tsunamis on the front page and is there a connection between Bush and death? Sure seems like there is. Japan throws in 500 million dollars into the worst disaster this generation has seen, Australia throws in 850 million, the Germans throw in 614 million, and the U.S. of A. puts in 350 million bucks. Sounds like our dollars are going other places a priori.

Nineteen Iranians blew up yesterday, but Bush gets on television the next day with Daddy and Big Bill Clinton to tell the American people to be as giving as possible, while he made the bold effort of 350 million dollars towards the tsunami victims. Give me a break. It costs 350 million bucks for a soldier to take a shit in Iraq, and what was the reason we are there? Was it bad intel? They have so much bullshit ready that I know I've been tsunamied by lies from the Republicans currently ruling the world.

Every day, and most likely up to and beyond the Iraqi elections, daily car bombs will be on page two or page four of your right wing biased newspaper. The Republicans have been the winners of this Iraqi war of deceit. We could be giving billions of dollars to the tsunami victims, but the American government cannot muster any more than 350 million dollars. God Almighty. Then Bunnypants says it's the American's giving spirit that will help these poor victims. How big will the lies get, folks?

This nation is worse off than it was in the Nixon years. The lies have gotten bigger. The lies are in your face fuck you lies like the ones Cheney spurts forth. Nixon was known as "Tricky Dick" even though he didn't trick many of us. He was an idiot to be prosecuted. So is Bush, but this nation has gotten so afraid to be patriotic and stand up to the Commander-in-Chief and say "You're a fucking liar, you filthy ex-drunk frat boy with a nose jones!!" that it's more of a fucked nation than in 1972. I guess that's Republican progress. I call it going back to the dark ages. This is one back-assed country, geezus. Keep puttin' them cowboys into office, people, instead of smart guys like Clinton. We'll go down as fast as John Wayne did with lung cancer.

--
Posted by phillip vincent to to TrimmedBush

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But Untrue

Strangely Believable

Yesterday's Fact: 1/11/05
 

Before entering upon a career in punditry, Armstrong Williams made a brief splash on the Billboard charts with his funkadelic cover of the Robert Johnson classic, "Crossroads."

 

~Jeff Crook

 

Jeff Crook is the Ceci Connolly of the Left. - J. Howard Tuft

 

 

Strangely Believable but Untrue is now available online at the Untrue Fact of the Day web calendar. Help spread disinformation and misunderstanding by sharing this with your friends and enemies.



 
A casual stroll through a mental asylum shows that faith proves nothing.  --- Friedrich Nietzche

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KATE MOSS - RANDY MOSS

PEAT MOSS - MOSSBERG - MOSS LANDING

GREEN MOSS - ON RED LEAVES


Zen Man
(in the Madrone Zone)

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Recommended Reading

from Bruce

Josh Marshall on Social Security and Our Lying President
Do reporters respond when the president tells flagrant lies?
(No, it's not a trick question - Scroll down; this is a Jan. 11 post)


David Podvin: Waterloo
The American conquest of Iraq has become an ever-worsening nightmare for the occupying force. Soon, even the corporate media's master fabulists will be unable to misrepresent the failure as being a success. Although there is much drama yet to occur, the final chapter of this immorality play was written well before it began. In the end, our empire will have suffered a humiliating defeat, and viewed from the patriotic perspective that will be a very good thing.


Paul Krugman: 'The iceberg cometh'
Last week someone leaked a memo written by Peter Wehner, an aide to Karl Rove, about how to sell Social Security privatization. The public, says Mr. Wehner, must be convinced that "the current system is heading for an iceberg." It's the standard Bush administration tactic: invent a fake crisis to bully people into doing what you want. "For the first time in six decades," the memo says, "the Social Security battle is one we can win." One thing I haven't seen pointed out, however, is the extent to which the White House expects the public and the media to believe two contradictory things.


Molly Ivins: Leading by misleading: From Iraq to Social Security to jobs, Bush administration hallmark is deception
Excuse me, but is that smoke in your ear?I wouldn't go calling anyone a liar, but as we say in our quaint Texas fashion, this administration is stuffed with people who are on a first-name basis with the bottom of the deck. They've been telling us only four out of the 18 provinces in Iraq will be too unsafe to vote in. Doesn't sound that bad, does it? Unless you happen to know that about 50 percent of the population lives in those four provinces.


Amy Sullivan: Fire the Consultants
Why do Democrats continue to hire campaign advisors who lose races?


Spencer S. Hsu: U.S. Tells D.C. to Pay Inaugural Expenses
D.C. officials said yesterday that the Bush administration is refusing to reimburse the District for most of the costs associated with next week's inauguration, breaking with precedent and forcing the city to divert $11.9 million from homeland security projects.


ROGER EBERT: Ebert's 10 Best: 1967-2004


Monkey Fun


Kirktoons

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Subscribe to BartCop!

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Purple Gene Reviews

'House of Flying Daggers'

Purple Genes' review of the movie ""House of Flying Daggers - ["Shi Mian Mai Fu"] (2004) Directed by Yimou Zhang
:
Maybe I went into viewing this movie with overly high expectations! Maybe I wanted less generic fighting scenes! Maybe, just maybe, I got really tired of digitally enhanced bamboo, birch and maple forests - I mean there were so many shots taken in geometrically generated trees with over colorized leaves that I got really dizzy. And finally, maybe this movie should have been a cartoon - because everytime a dagger was thrown, it took on an animated mind of its own, and like Mighty Mouse, could perform aerobatic feats beyond belief.

This is a Next Gneration "Kung Fu Flick"!!!!! Thin on story line - "Tragic Love Triangle" and very thick on effects - Computer generated action packed overly colorized combatant actors on strings - and those flying daggers !!!!!!!

It is nearing the end of the Tang Dynasty and the police are trying to infiltrate a revolutionary faction known as the House of Flying Daggers. There is a beautiful blind dancer in a brothel named Mei (Ziyi Zhang - Jen Yu in "Crouching Tiger - Hidden Dragon") and the police think that she might lead them to the House of Flying Daggers. Leo (Andy Lau) and Jin (Takeshi Kaneshiro) are assigned to track Mei back to the hidden revolutionary encampment and to expose their leader. Mei is arrested but escapes with Jin as part of the police plot. What follows is a journey of Epic (in Chinese terms) proportions! We get the now generic flying feet fighting high up in the bamboo "KUNG FU", one hundred arrows at a time (or bamboo stalks) landing exactly around the target like a cage, a beautiful blind babe battling battalions all alone - and winning (most of the time) a "twist" in the plot and a "turn" in the characters…. and finally (I won't reveal the ending this time) the dramatic music blaring, blood drenched tragic finale to this trite love triangle………

I don't think there is anywhere to take this type of movie. As we say on the streets…"It's been way played" and when there is such an overwhelming emphasis on style over substance, it's easy for me to become exhausted with the Genre……. Purple Gene gives "House of Flying Daggers" 6 sharpened bamboo shoots out of 10 for falling on itself with so much color and action.


Purple Gene

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Selected Readings

from that Mad Cat, JD

THE FREE PRESS ISN'T

GOD FARTS

GOD VOMITS AND DELAY GETS DIARRHEA

TOM, TOM THE PUS BAGS SON

WILLEY COYOTE

PIGBOY DOWN

FAITH, HOPE AND MONKEY BOY

NO CHILDS BEHIND LEFT

LIMEY WINGNUT THUG

BUSH LIED AND OUR SOLDIERS DIED

LIES, DAMN LIES AND CHIMP BOY

THE REPUG "HURRY UP AND DIE ASSHOLES" INITIATIVE

THIS GUY NEEDS A BLOW JOB AND A ROLL OF DUCT TAPE

HEIL CHIMP BOY

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In The Chaos Household

Last Night

Sunny, clear & cool.

Anybody else notice 'Lost' (on ABC/Disney) ran over by 3 minutes? If I'd been relying on the VCR/DVR I'd be pissed.

Had to run out to the Valley tonight - between road construction, standing water and accidents ended up on the 710, 5, 101, 170, 134, 10, 610 & 405 freeways (normally it takes 4 freeways).



Tonight, Thursday:

CBS opens the night with a FRESH of 'Wickedly Perfect', followed by a FRESH 'CSI: The Original One', then a FRESH 'Without A Trace'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Marg Helgenberger, Ryan Seacrest, and My Chemical Romance.
Scheduled on a FRESH 'Craiggers' are Teri Polo, Eddie Steeples, and Wyclef Jean.

NBC begins the night with a FRESH 'Joey', followed by a FRESH 'Committed', then a FRESH 'Will & Grace', followed by a RERUN 'Will & Grace', then a FRESH 'ER' (starts 1 minute before the top of the hour).
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, Paul Giamatti, and Crossfire.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Jennifer Garner and Jim Gaffigan.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Ian Somerhalder, Leo Allen, and Geto Boys.

ABC starts the night with a FRESH 'life as we know it', followed by a FRESH 'Extreme Makeover', then '20/20'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Matt Leinart, Nick Lachey, Simon Pegg, and Todd Glass.

The WB fills the night with the movie 'Love & Basketball'.

Faux has a FRESH 'The O.C.', followed by the SEASON FINALE of 'North Shore'.

UPN fills the night with 'WWE Smackdown!'.

A&E has 'American Justice', 'Cold Case Files', and a FRESH 'The First 48'.

AMC offers the movie 'Apocalypse Now', followed by the movie 'Missing In Action 2: The Beginning', then the movie 'Hamburger Hill'.

BBC  -   
 [2pm]    'As Time Goes By' - Episode 5;
 [2:40pm]    'Are You Being Served?' - Fire Practice;
 [3:20pm]    'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 3;
 [4pm]    'The Saint' - The Persistent Patriots;
 [5pm]    'The Weakest Link' - Episode 28;
 [6pm]    'BBC World News';
 [6:30pm]    'Cash in the Attic' - Rice;
 [7pm]    'Blackadder' - Bells;
 [7:40pm]    'Thin Blue Line, The - Honey Trap;
 [8:20pm]    'Monty Python's Flying Circus - The Money Programme;
 [9pm]    'Trailer Park Boys' - Episode 7;
 [9:30pm]    'Peep Show' - Episode 6;
 [10pm]    'The Office' - Episode 6;
 [10:40pm]    'Look Around You' - Iron;
 [11pm]    'Blackadder' - Bells;
 [11:40pm]    'The Thin Blue Line' - Honey Trap;
 [12:20 am]    'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - The Money Programme;
 [1:00 am]    'The Office' - Episode 6;
 [1:40am]    'Look Around You' - Iron;
 [2am]    'Trailer Park Boys' - Episode 7;
 [2:30am]    'Peep Show' - Episode 6;
 [3am]    'The Office' - Episode 6;
 [3:40am]    'Look Around You' - Iron;
 [4am]    'Trailer Park Boys' - Episode 7;
 [4:30am]    'Peep Show' - Episode 6;
 [5am]    'The Office' - Episode 6;
 [5:40am]    'Look Around You' - Iron;
 [6am]    'BBC World News'.    (ALL TIMES EST)

Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Queer Eye - Girl', and 'Celebrity Poker Showdown'.

Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Reno 911!', 'Crank Yankers', 'South Park', 'Drawn Together', and 'Shorties Watchin' Shorties'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Annette Bening.

HBO has the SEASON PREMIERE of 'Carnivale'.

History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Rommel', another 'Rommel', and another 'Modern Marvels'.

IFC  -   
 [6AM]    'Under Suspicion' (2000);
 [8AM]    'Frazetta: Painting With Fire' (2003);
 [9:45 AM]    'At The Angelika #92' (2004);
 [10:15AM]    'IFC Short Film Collection II' (2004);
 [12:15PM]    'The Last Broadcast' (1991);
 [1:45PM]    'At The Angelika #92' (2004);
 [2:15PM]    'Frazetta: Painting With Fire' (2003);
 [4PM]    'IFC Short Film Collection I' (2003);
 [6PM]    'Let Him Have It' (1991);
 [8PM]    'Ghost World' (2001);
 [10PM]    'Chop Socky: Cinema Hong Kong' (2004);
 [11PM]    'Nil By Mouth' (1997);
 [1:15AM]    'Lost And Delirious' (2001);
 [3AM]    'Nil By Mouth' (1997);
 [5:15AM]    'At The Angelika #92' (2004);
 [5:45AM]    'IFC In Theaters' (2004).    (ALL TIMES EST)

SciFi has the movie 'Tales From The Crypt - Bordello Of Blood' followed by the movie 'John Carpenter Presents Vampires: Los Muertos'.

Sundance  -   
 [6AM]    'What Happened Was...' (Feature);
 [7:35AM]    'The Tune' (Feature);
 [8:45AM]    'Gerry' (Feature);
 [10:30AM]    'An Injury to One' (Documentary);
 [11:30AM]    'The Jimmy Show' (Feature);
 [1:10PM]    'Delusions in Modern Primitivism' (Short);
 [1:30PM]    'What Happened Was...' (Feature);
 [3:05PM]    'The Tune' (Feature);
 [4:15PM]    'Fits & Starts' (Short);
 [4:30PM]    'Gerry' (Feature);
 [6:15PM]    'Mullitt' (Feature);
 [6:40PM]    'The Jimmy Show' (Feature);
 [8:20PM]    'Wilfred' (Short);
 [8:30PM]    'Anatomy Of A Scene: The Cooler' (Original Production);
 [9PM]    'MacArthur Park' (Feature);
 [10:30PM]    'Five Feet High And Rising' (Short);
 [11PM]    'Bloody Sunday' (World Cinema);
 [12:50AM]    'At the Quinte Hotel' (Short);
 [1AM]    'Garden' (Documentary);
 [2:30AM]    'Chain Camera' (Documentary);
 [4AM]    'Open Your Eyes' (World Cinema).    (ALL TIMES EST)

TCM:
 [7:30am]    'Lights Of New York' (1928);
 [8:30am]    'Paid' (1930);
 [10am]    'The Unholy Three' (1930);
 [11:30am]    'The Doorway To Hell' (1930);
 [1pm]    'Little Caesar' (1930);
 [2:30pm]    'The Petrified Forest' (1936);
 [4pm]    'The Roaring Twenties' (1939);
 [6pm]    'Johnny Eager' (1942);
 [8pm]    'Abe Lincoln In Illinois' (1940);
 [10pm]    'Railroaded!' (1947);
 [11:15pm]    'The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty' (1947);
 [1:15am]    'Stage Struck' (1958);
 [3am]    'Sunrise At Campobello' (1960);
 [5:30am]    'Festival of Shorts #37' (2001).    (ALL TIMES EST)


Friday  -  01/14

TCM celebrates the 67th birthday of Margaret O'Brien all day, then features 3 films with Lee Marvin tonight.
 [6am]    'Music For Millions' (1944);
 [8am]    'Thousands Cheer' (1943);
 [10:15am]    'Madame Curie' (1943);
 [12:30pm]    'Bad Bascomb' (1946);
 [2:30pm]    'Dr. Gillespie's Criminal Case' (1943);
 [4:15pm]    'Glory' (1956);
 [6pm]    'Big City' (1948);

 [8pm]    'The Dirty Dozen' (1967);
 [10:45pm]    'Cat Ballou' (1965);
 [12:30am]    'The Wild One' (1953);

 [2am]    'Quai des Brumes' (1938)  [AKA:  'Port of Shadows'];
 [4am]    'The Miracle Woman' (1931).    (ALL TIMES EST)



RERUN
FRESH

Any opinions?

Or reviews?



(See below for addresses)

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Ardent George Clooney fans wait for his arrival at Narita International Airport in Narita, east of Tokyo, Wednesday, Jan. 12, 2005. The Hollywood star was too arrive for the premiere of his new film 'Ocean's Twelve.'
Photo by Itsuo Inouye
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Click Here!

Moose & Squirrel - The Blog

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Performs for Haitian Youths

Wyclef Jean

Dozens of Haitian youths mobbed hip-hop star Wyclef Jean as he visited a slum to inaugurate a program to support education in his impoverished native country.

Jean was visiting the L'Athletique d'Haiti Sports Academy, an after-school program in Cite Soleil that provides tutoring and sports training for 650 youths. He inaugurated an initiative to provide scholarships to help new participants stay in school, a requirement for the after-school program.

"What Sammy Sosa has done for the Dominican Republic, that's what I think I can do for Haiti," Jean said, referring to the Dominican-born baseball star who founded a charity for health in education in his country.

Wyclef Jean

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Group Raises Stakes

George Soros

A group of billionaire philanthropists are to donate tens of millions more dollars to develop progressive political ideas in the US in an effort to counter the conservative ascendancy.

George Soros, who made his fortune in the hedge fund industry; Herb and Marian Sandler, the California couple who own a multi-billion-dollar savings and loan business; and Peter Lewis, the chairman of an Ohio insurance company, donated more than $63m (£34m) in the 2004 election cycle to organisations seeking to defeat George W. Bush.

At a meeting in San Francisco last month, the left-leaning billionaires agreed to commit an even larger sum over a longer period to building institutions to foster progressive ideas and people.

The intention is to provide the left with organisations in Washington that can match the heft of the rightwing think-tanks such as Heritage Foundation and the American Enterprise Institute. At a state level, the aim is to build what one person called a "deeper progressive bench".

George Soros

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One of two 19-year-old fish with human-like facial features in Chongju, about 140 km (88 miles) south of Seoul on January 10, 2005. The hybrid species fish were born between a carp and a leather carp in the pond of a personal house in Chongju. Each of the two female fish is 80 cm (32 inches) long and 50 cm (20 inches) in circumference. The owner of the fish said on Monday that their faces have begun to look more and more human over the last couple of years.
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Moving Bob To Ethiopia

Rita Marley

The wife of reggae legend Bob Marley said Wednesday she plans to exhume his remains in Jamaica and rebury them in his "spiritual resting place" - Ethiopia.

No date has been set for the reburial, but it will be after February when monthlong celebrations of the 60th anniversary of Marley's birth are planned in Ethiopia. Both the Ethiopian church and government officials support the project, Rita Marley told The Associated Press.

Rita Marley said her husband would be reburied in Shashemene, 155 miles south of Addis Ababa where several hundred Rastafarians have lived since they were given land by Ethiopia's last emperor, Haile Selassie.

Bob Marley was a devout Rastafarian, a faith whose followers preach a oneness with nature, grow their hair uncombed into dreadlocks and smoke marijuana as a sacrament. About 700,000 people practice it worldwide.

Rita Marley

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Liverpool's Orphanage To Close

Strawberry Fields

Strawberry Fields is not forever, after all.

The Liverpool children's home that inspired the Beatles' hit song is to close, officials said Wednesday. The psychedelic single Strawberry Fields Forever was released in February 1967 with Penny Lane on the reverse side and quickly made it to No. 2 in the British charts, but it was kept out of the top slot by Engelbert Humperdinck's Release Me.

John Lennon wrote the song's dreamy lyrics about a time in his childhood when he lived near the Strawberry Fields orphanage. It has been suggested that Lennon felt a kinship with the orphans after he was abandoned by his father and his mother, Julia, sent him to live with his Aunt Mimi, who raised him.

The Salvation Army, which now runs Strawberry Fields, said the current preference for placing children with foster families has reduced the need for orphanages. Only three youngsters remain at the home in Liverpool's Woolton district.

Lennon left money to the home in his will and in 1984 his widow, Yoko Ono, donated more than $70,000 US to keep the facility open.

Strawberry Fields

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bartcook

In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends

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CBS Cancels After One Airing

'The Will'

CBS lost "The Will" after just one night. This reality series, which logged a minuscule 4.2 million viewers on its premiere airing Saturday, has been axed by CBS, the network confirmed Wednesday.

Despite heavy promotion, "The Will" ranked 79th place in viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research, making it CBS' lowest-ranked show of the week. (The week's most-watched show, CBS' "CSI," drew almost 29 million viewers.)

A rerun of CBS' Sunday crime drama "Cold Case" will plug the hole this Saturday, the network said.

'The Will'

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The stripped upper sphere of the Atomium is seen during renovation works at the Brussels landmark, Wednesday, Jan.12, 2005. The Atomium, Belgium's most famous landmark, is selling its aluminum sheeting for scrap to raise funds for a much needed renovation and to keep a surging budget under control.
Photo by Yves Logghe
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Back to Broadway

'A Chorus Line'

"A Chorus Line," the legendary Michael Bennett musical, will kick again on Broadway.

The story of dancers auditioning for a big Broadway show will open Sept. 21, 2006, according to John Breglio, who was the attorney for Bennett, its original director and choreographer.

Breglio will produce the revival, which will include many of the show's original creators, including Bennett's co-choreographer, Bob Avian, who will direct the new production, and original set designer Robin Wagner. Bennett died of AIDS in 1987.

When "A Chorus Line" first opened on Broadway its top ticket price was $15. Today, most musicals have a top price of $100. The show's original Broadway budget was $1.1 million. Breglio expects the revival to cost nearly $8 million. And in 1975, its potential weekly box-office gross was $142,000 at the Shubert Theatre; today, it would be $1 million.

'A Chorus Line'

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pissed
(formerly 'The Vidiot')

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Paying Search Engines To List His Web Site First

Kenny Boy

Enron founder Kenneth Lay is paying to make sure major Internet search engines list his Web site first when people search for his name.

Lay's litigation team is using "sponsored links," which appear prominently in searches for a word or name in an Internet search engine. The links are one way for search engines to make money and Web sites to make sure they're noticed.

The cost of sponsored links depends on two things: how many people actually look at his Web site and how many other sites want to be seen in connection with the same keywords.

One of the first thing people see when they put the search words "Enron" or "Ken Lay" into search engines such as Google, Yahoo and AOL is a link to kenlayinfo.com. When a person clicks on that link, Lay pays the search engine between about 5 cents and 12 cents.

Kenny Boy

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Early morning steam from Lake Superior shrouds the Aerial Lift Bridge in Duluth, Minn. Tuesday, Jan. 11, 2005. Cold air over the warmer water created the steam and a temperature inversion kept the steam from dissipating, producing this cloudy view.
Photo by Jack Rendulich
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Shifting To Oil-Free Economy

Iceland

Hydrogen, tested in buses from Amsterdam to Vancouver and used in the rockets of the U.S. space shuttle, is a clean power that promises to break dependence on oil and gas -- at least in Iceland.

With almost unlimited geothermal energy sizzling beneath its surface, Iceland has an official goal of making the country oil-free by shifting cars, buses, trucks and ships over to hydrogen by about 2050.

About 70 percent of Iceland's energy needs, from home heating to electricity for aluminum smelters, are already met by geothermal or hydro-electric power. Only the transport sector is still hooked on polluting oil and gas.

Iceland

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A rainbow is seen over a cloudy sky at Canaima National Park Canaima National Park, January 12, 2005. Canaima Park is in southeastern Venezuela and known for its ancient geological formation and flat-topped mountains, which inspired Conan Doyle to write 'The Lost World.' The park is spread over three million hectares along the border between Guyana and Brazil.
Photo by Jorge Silva
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Sorry for Nazi Gaffe

Prince Harry

Britain's Prince Harry apologized on Thursday after he wore a Nazi uniform to a costume party two weeks before Queen Elizabeth is due to lead the country's holocaust memorial events.

In the latest of a string of gaffes, Harry, 20, wore a red and black swastika armband and an army shirt with Nazi regalia at the party at a friend's house on Saturday.

Queen Elizabeth is due to host a reception for survivors of the holocaust on Jan. 27 before representing the nation at the Holocaust Memorial Day National Event.

Prince Harry

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A model wears a creation as part of Mara Mac's 2005 Autumn/Winter collection at Rio Fashion week in Rio de Janeiro, January 12, 2005.
Photo by Cris Borges
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Ancient Astronomer's Work Found

Farnese Atlas

A Roman statue of Atlas -- the mythical titan who carried the heavens on his shoulders -- holds clues to the long-lost work of the ancient astronomer Hipparchus, an astronomical historian said on Tuesday.

The statue in question is known as the Farnese Atlas, a 7-foot tall marble work which resides in the Farnese Collection in the National Archeological Museum in Naples, Italy.

What makes it important to scientists is not the titan's muscular form but the globe he supports: carved constellations adorn its surface in exactly the locations Hipparchus would have seen in his day, suggesting that the sculptor based the globe on the ancient astronomer's star catalog, which no modern eyes have seen.

Farnese Atlas

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