'Best of TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Baron Dave Romm
Republicans Believe Lies
By Baron Dave Romm
Program on International Policy Attitudes has a report that proves what Bartcop readers have long known: Republicans are idiots. There aren't Red and Blue States, there is a huuuuge reality gap between people who derive their political viewpoints from things that are real vs. faith-based politics in the wrong things. These 9 Commandment Christians are sure, sure, that they are right, that the ends justify the means, and that their politics are divinely inspired. In reality, their inspiration comes from a somewhat colder place.
The White House is lying, and the gullible conservatives just eat it up. This is a scandal worse than Watergate, a series of impeachable offenses that have made the US less safe but has made the Saudis very rich.
Here is part of the report, reprinted from their web site. Italics mine.
This Orwellian view of the world can be traced back to the biggest flip-flop in American politics. During the 1980 campaign, Ronald Reagan's biggest promise was to balance the budget. He had castigated politicians, Democrats and Republicans alike, for deficit spending and for large government. Yet when he got in office, the first thing he did (after slamming through approval for Nutrasweet for his pal Donald Rumsfeld) was increase the size of government and produce massively obscene budget deficits.
Reagan betrayed the trust of his followers... but a well-financed self-serving PR campaign convinced the stupid people not only that black was white and war was peace, but that he was a hero for this bizarre behavior. And you will never convince a Republican of the truth.
Anyone who listens to hate radio or hate television for hours and hours a day is incapable of thought. Rush, Drudge, O'Reilly, Hannity, Coulter, etc etc etc are simply lying. And lying again. And lying again. Pravda kept the people of the Soviet Union behind the Iron Curtain for sixty years despite the Voice of America attempts to tell them the real story. And now these modern-day Tokyo Rose' are keeping the sphincter conservatives in fear and hatred with simple tricks.
That the Bush administration has any support at all proves Lincoln's saying that you can fool some of the people all of the time.
One of the ways to fight hatred and lies is with truth and humor. Hence Bartcop, hence Bartcop-E, hence Shockwave Radio and hence Wolfpacks For Truth.
One of the "October Surprises" (so far) is an emotional and totally disgusting tv ad from the goppies called "Wolf Pack". It's a lie, through and through, and therefore likely to pursuade the 9-Commandment Christians. Fortunately, the Wolves have fought back.
As we slip down into the last few days before the election, it's time to do more than just read websites or contribute a few bucks. Go to rallies! Proudly wear your Kerry/Edwards pin! Argue (politely but firmly) with people who are lying. Keep your eyes open for voting irregularities such as intimidation or defacing campaign posters. Volunteer to help on election day.
And don't think the battle will be over anytime soon. The lesson we learned during the Clinton years was that the right wing will never, ever, play by the rules. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance, and we must keep the wolves at bay.
Baron Dave Romm is a conceptual artist and a noble of Ladonia with a radio show, a very weird CD collection and an ever growing list of political links. He reviews things at random for obscure web sites. You can read all his music recommendations from Bartcop-E here, you can order Shockwave Radio Theater CDs, and you can hear the last two Shockwave broadcasts in Real Audio here (scroll down to Shockwave). Thanks to everyone who has sent me music to play on the air, and I'm continuing to collect extra-weird stuff.
--////
from alvin
Song Parody
Sung to Stevie Wonder's 'I Just Called To Say I Love You'
MIDI
I JUST CALLED TO SAY I MISS YOU... alvin dover
(As Sung By Bill O' Reilly To Andrea Mackris)
It kind of creeps into the ear
I'd take that loofa sponge and rub you all the way
What must I do to cop a feel?
Should I bring falafel with sesame seeds everyday?
A thing to touch, a lust unmatched
Soap up your back, I'll get you to relax
Girl, you know what, your boobs looks nice
I'd love to let my hands go up your blouse
I just called to say I miss you
I just called to say how much I came
I just called to say I miss you
And my hands, oh babe, they seem to get very tired
You are so hot, have J-Lo's butt
When I see you at Fox I like to grab my crotch
I beg of you, this ain't no joke
Pick up the phone, and I'll jerk off to you
So let me say, you've made my day
You make all my secret fantasies come true
My hormones, dear, they're fill with rage
The kinky things we can do brings smile to my face
I just called to say I miss you
I just called to say how much I came
I just called to say I miss you
And my hands, oh babe, they seem to get very tired
I just called to say I miss you
I just called to say how much I came
I just called to say I miss you
And my hands, oh babe, they seem to get very tired
Very tired!... very tired!
Thanks, Alvin!
Reader Suggestion
Little Bush
This ad captures the essence of Little George Bush: other people's
tragedy and pain is nothing but a joke to him.
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
Reader Suggeestions
More Bumper Stickers
George W. Bush: One-Term President
George W. Bush: 1,100 Dead American Soldiers In Iraq And Counting
George W. Bush: Borrow, Borrow, Borrow, Spend, Spend, Spend
George W. Bush: Buy Chinese
George W. Bush: Supporting Tax Breaks For People Who Are Richer Than You
I Liked George W. Bush Better When He Was A Drunk
Tort Reform: Keeping Citizens From Suing Corporations
Terrorists: Weakness Attracts Us -- So Don't Vote For Someone Who
Enjoys Reading "My Pet Goat"
GOP: Keep Down The Vote
Democrats: Get Out The Vote
Bill O'Reilly: Secretly Wants To Be Spanked By Howard Stern
Thanks, Bruce!
Reader Suggestion
Bush Knew
Reader Suggestion
Triumph the Insult Dog
Purple Gene Reviews
Bridge School Benefit Concert
Purple Genes' review of the Bridge School Benefit Concert at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View California Saturday, October 23rd 2004:
Every year, around this time, Neal Young drives his Funky Black 1959 Cadillac convertable out of his deeply wooded ranch in La Honda California - usually dressed in his way over-sized red plaid heavy-duty-rolled-up-sleeve shirt with baggy levis and trashy tennis shoes - and his funky hobbit hat to play music with his friends at the Annual Bridge School Benefit Accoustic Concert over at Shoreline in Mountain View, Ca.
Well, this year his friends included - Eddie Vedder (From Pearl Jam), Tegan & Sara, Los Lonely Boys, Ben Harper (and the Innocent Criminals), the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tony Bennett (and his great Band), Paul McCartney (thats right - the guy who played bass in a band called the BEATLES) and good ol' NEIL YOUNG himself. All these people get together along with 25,000 fans for two shows that benefit a cause that Neil (who has a disabled child) has been organizing for years...the money goes to education for severely impaired children in the Bay Area.
I'm not the big concert goer. I'm spoiled! I've managed, over the years, to see music from extremely intimate and unusual points of view (I was right in front at the Fillmore when Jimi Hendix debuted with his band called "the Jimi Hendix Experience" - Their first song was "Wild Thing" - I saw Dylan in the front row of the Berkeley Community Theater the first time he play "Visions of Johanna" with the BAND - I had Lunch at a Rib Joint in San Francisco with Tim Buckley, Jim Morrison and Frank Zappa - I hid in Marty Balins' closet in Mill Valley when a drunk Grace Slick was trying to beat his door in for quitting the Jefferson Airplane - OK enough of that.....I was lucky enough to have a back-stage pass to the Bridge School Benefit!!!! Wow...this was going to be incredible.
I got backstage, after going through 3 or 4 strip searches (just joking) and finally pushed my way though the throngs of groupies and crews and friends to the super-stars....there was a whole special area set up behind the stage for all the kids in their wheel chairs - wonderful 4-wheel drive, arms waving, heads bobbing really cool bunch of happy children - these were the SUPER STARS and this whole show was all for them...they even had a huge section on stage for all the kids and parents to mix with the HELP (All the musicians).
And the Music.....I must say it was magical and amazing....here goes......Eddie Vedder leads things off at 5PM and the crowd is still not seated but there are food venues and bars and shops all around the stage and each one has a live screen going! Then Tegan and Sara played (ugh!)....Los Lonely Boys came out and Did "How Far is Heaven" and the place started stirring....Sonic youth did an accoustic set that was great....Then Ben Harper came out and with his unusual voice and rhythmic band "the Innocent Criminals" really got the crowd moving (man - there was a "Hippie Chick" right out of the sixties - Gyrrating and dancing in front of me - wow).....Then the Red Hot Chili Peppers popped onto the stage - Flea and Anthony had clothes on and they kept the build going....Then everything changed - This Steinway piano was rolled out and these flashy jazzy drums and a stand-up bass an old accoustic Epiphone guitar....and finally a slick suited 78 year old Anthony Dominick Benedetto strolled out with his well healed band - Tony Bennett - what a change of music - He started crooning "I wanna be around, to pick up the pieces, when somebody breaks your heart"!!...and the crowd went crazy...goddam this guy can belt it out...and sexy, smooth and sophisticated .......Suddenly after the 3rd song, Tony said I have a special guest who's gonna sing with me...out strolls Paul McCartney and he and Tony croon a classic together....Of course Tony finished his set with "I Left My Heart in San Francisco".....Then Old Neil, surrounded by six guitars and a banjo, starts his whispy, whining and whimsical nasal accoustic set...his voice is so unusual and he looks like a BUM onstage, but this guy is the real deal.....you could hear echos all the way to the back of the stadium - "but only love can break your heart, try to be sure right from the start" - I just love his singing!!!
Here comes the finale, the closing act, the denouement....the former "Liverpudlian, Beatle, Wing and Husband/dad - Paul McCartney with an accoustic band and percussion and keyboards....he did "Get Back", Blackbird, Michelle ...his voice was just thrilling.....hit after hit...then he sang a song he wrote for John....and before long the closing song....Let it Be"....Paul on the piana just singing away and the whole audience joining him..."There will be an answer let it be"...He did a final refrain (Just for the political minded)..."There will be an answer let it be...Kerry!"...the 25,000 people as as if with one voice screamed and yelled and cheered...right on!!!
Paul came back after 5 minutes of clapping to do an encore with all the musicians who had played that night..."Hey Jude, don't make it bad. take a sad song and make it better".....bows and goodbyes and the lights went on and the magic spell was broken...we spent 45 minutes in the parking lot fighting with 10,000 now drunk and vicious hippies in their cars trying to merge into one lane of traffic to escape into the night...............
Purple Gene gives the Bridge School Benefit Concert 10 candles out of 10 candles that were never lit at the end of the concert because of fire danger!!!!
Purple Gene
Thanks, Purple Gene!
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny and pleasant.
Choice Between Kerry And Bush Is 'Profound'
Bill Clinton
Former US president Bill Clinton, who is due to return to the campaign trail on behalf of presidential hopeful John Kerry after major heart surgery, said the choice between Kerry and George W. Bush was "profound."
Clinton is due to hit the campaign trail on behalf of his fellow Democrat on Monday and attend a rally in Philadelphia, in the showdown state of Pennsylvania just six weeks after undergoing quadruple bypass heart surgery.
In an interview with ABC News on Sunday, Clinton played down concerns about his recovery.
Since leaving office, Clinton has continued as a force in the Democratic party and, despite the sex scandal that led to his impeachment, he remains a hugely popular figure in US politics.
Bill Clinton
Still Not Free
Mordechai Vanunu
Mordechai Vanunu, who was freed in April after 18 years in an Israeli prison for revealing the country's nuclear program, told the BBC in a television interview from Israel that he was desperate to start a new life elsewhere.
"I want to feel free, I'm not free here," said the 50-year-old Vanunu, who on release was subjected to a series of sweeping restrictions, including a ban on travelling abroad as well as holding unauthorised meetings with foreigners.
"The only way to feel and enjoy freedom and start my new life as a free human being will be when I can leave Israel and live my life in the US, in Europe or in London," he said.
Mordechai Vanunu
Porn Star Hits It Big As Author
Jenna Jameson
She has two bodyguards, four dogs, a surgically enhanced double D-cup bust and an almost 600-page book on the best-seller list.
And the fact she spends a lot of her time naked has nothing to do with living in the sunny climes of Scottsdale, Arizona.
Indeed if, as some have suggested, porn stars are the new socialites, Jenna Jameson, whose raunchy memoir "How To Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale," written with Neil Strauss, has been on the New York Times best seller list for months, is more at home in a G-string than an evening gown.
For a lot more, Jenna Jameson
Gaffe Exposed Lip Syncing?
Ashlee Simpson
Singer Ashlee Simpson's "extra help" may have been exposed when a "Saturday Night Live" audience heard her voice - singing the wrong song - while she held a microphone at her waist.
Her record company blamed a computer glitch and she blamed her band for Sunday morning's incident, which cut off her planned performance of the song "Autobiography" on the network comedy show.
Simpson had performed her hit single "Pieces of Me" without incident earlier in the show. When she came back a second time, her band started playing and the first lines of her singing "Pieces of Me" could be heard again.
She looked momentarily confused as the band plowed ahead with the song and the vocal was quickly silenced.
Simpson made some exaggerated hopping dance moves, then walked off the stage 35 seconds into the performance. NBC quickly cut to a commercial.
Ashlee Simpson
For the video - Ashlee Simpson on SNL
Protested at Mexican Ruins
Wal-Mart
More than 300 demonstrators streamed into the ancient ruins of Teotihuacan on Sunday and climbed part way up the towering Pyramid of the Sun, the latest in a string of protests against the construction of a Wal-Mart-owned store nearby.
Many on-hand wore traditional Azteca headdresses and danced to a steady drum beat. Others handed out fliers, sang songs, chanted, or hung banners from trees, brush and smaller ruin structures.
After about 30 minutes of protesting on the ground, a steady stream of demonstrators climbed the Sun Pyramid's stone steps and performed a traditional ceremony.
Construction of the store - Bodega Aurrera, a Mexican subsidiary of Wal-Mart Stores Inc. - is nearing completion, and those opposed to it have promised to organize larger demonstrations as its opening date approaches.
Wal-Mart
Joins the 'Quintuplets' Family
Jason Priestley
Jason Priestley, who played a hunky teenager on Fox's "Beverly Hills, 90210," is taking on the role of an uncle to teenagers on another Fox series, the freshman comedy "Quintuplets."
Priestley will play Bob Chase's (Andy Richter) brother on the show, which revolves around Bob and Carol Chase and their teenage quintuplets. Priestley will guest-star on the Thanksgiving episode, with the character designed as potentially recurring on the series.
Jason Priestley
Brawl With Parent
Teacher Jailed
A teacher-parent brawl in front of 19 primary school pupils sent a mother to the emergency room and the teacher to jail.
Teacher Katrina Ann Rucker, 30, is charged with battery and cruelty to children for allegedly beating a parent who tried to retrieve her daughter's book bag, The Macon Telegraph newspaper reported Friday.
According to police interviews, parent Lurella Amica went to Bruce-Weir Elementary School Thursday morning to deliver a note to her 9-year-old daughter.
At the classroom door, the girl told her mother that Rucker had thrown her bag in the trash can, the report stated. Amica entered the classroom and tried to get the book bag, but Rucker grabbed for it and the two struggled, the report said.
For the rest, Teacher Jailed
Thanks, Marian!
Turns 90
Jack LaLanne
Jack LaLanne keeps going and going, and so do the parties celebrating his 90th birthday. On Saturday, nearly a month after the fitness guru turned 90, friends gathered to honor him near the Muscle Beach that LaLanne and his bodybuilding colleagues made famous in the 1940s.
LaLanne later became a household name by hosting a television exercise show that ran from 1951-85, and by performing outrageous feats such as towing boats while swimming across Long Beach Harbor handcuffed.
The party was attended by celebrities such as David Carradine and Lou Ferrigno, and followed similar celebrations in recent weeks in New York and San Francisco, where LaLanne was born Sept. 26, 1914.
Jack LaLanne
End of an Era
Tom Brokaw
As a 16-year-old high school student, Tom Brokaw spent his first working Election Night in a radio station newsroom in Yankton, S.D. He reported results from rural polling places, and ate chicken catered from Kip's Blue Moon restaurant. His last Election Night will be considerably grander.
Election Night will also mark the end of an era in broadcast journalism. For more than two decades, the three biggest networks have turned to the same men to anchor coverage of important news stories - Brokaw, Peter Jennings and Dan Rather.
This should be Brokaw's last hurrah, since he steps down as NBC's chief anchorman Dec. 1. By Election Day 2008, certainly one and maybe all three network faces will be different. Rather turns 73 on Halloween and is fighting for his future after CBS's botched story on resident Bush's National Guard servon resident Bush's National Guard service. Jennings is 66.
Tom Brokaw
Won't Allow Elk Hunting on Ranch
Harrison Ford
Actor Harrison Ford is drawing the line - right at his property - against state efforts to thin the elk herd. Elk living near Ford's ranch belong to the larger Fall Creek Herd, which numbers 5,100, exceeding the state's population objective of 4,400 animals.
Ford has created a private elk refuge of sorts with elk summering on his property in South Park.
"(Ford) doesn't want any hunting to take place on his property," said John Kelly, who manages the ranch for the actor. "He told me that if I caught anyone to turn them in."
Harrison Ford
Musicians to Rest in Peace
New Orleans Musicians Tomb
Lloyd Washington was a member of the legendary Ink Spots from 1945 into the late 1960s, but when he died in June his family couldn't afford to bury him. For months, his ashes were kept in a box at the Ernie K-Doe Mother-in-Law Lounge.
Thanks to another family of musicians, Washington now has a clearly marked tomb - and so will other musicians, rich or poor.
Descendants of jazz pioneer Isidore Barbarin, who died in 1960, granted the Friends of New Orleans Cemeteries, a preservation group, the right to use six of the 18 vaults in the family mausoleum. Each vault can hold multiple urns or boxes of ashes.
The new resting place is called the New Orleans Musicians Tomb.
New Orleans Musicians Tomb
Albanian Singer Mourned
Anita Bitri
About 200 friends and fellow musicians gathered Saturday to mourn an Albanian pop singer who died with her mother and 7-year-old daughter in an accidental carbon monoxide poisoning.
Anita Bitri, 36, was found dead Oct. 19 with her 60-year-old mother, Hazabije Bitri, and daughter Sibora in her Staten Island apartment after boiler vents in the basement were stuffed with plastic bags to keep concrete out during construction work.
Bitri, also known by her married name Prapaniku, started singing at 16 and immediately became popular in Albania for her song "First Love." She came to the United States in 1996 to escape unrest in her home country and was busy recording two CDs - one in Albanian and one in English - when she died.
Bitri's husband, Luan Prapaniku, had recently died from cancer, friends said.
Anita Bitri
Daily Tally
Newspaper Endorsements
Sen. John Kerry continued his raid on newspapers that backed President Bush in 2000, grabbing 22 new "flip-flops," plus The Washington Post, which was a major supporter of the war in Iraq. The Democrat has now won endorsements from at least 33 papers that went for Bush in 2000, while Bush has earned only two Gore papers.
Kerry now leads Bush 122-69 in endorsements in E&P's exclusive tally, and he leads by about 14.9 million to 8.9 million in the circulation of backing papers.
And more setbacks for Bush: The Detroit News, which has never endorsed a Democrat, and which backed Bush in 2000, announced that it would sit out the 2004 election, not happy with either candidate. The Times-Picayune in New Orleans, another Bush backer in 2000, said the same thing today in an editorial titled "No One to Champion." A third Bush supporter in 2000, The Patriot-News in Harrisburg, Pa., also declared neutrality today.
The Chicago Sun-Times, the Los Angeles Daily News, and The Commercial-Appeal in Memphis, Tenn., were among the 22 papers that backed Bush in 2000 but today chose Kerry.
For a lot more, and a list of newspapers, by state, Newspaper Endorsements
