'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Baron Dave Romm
Shockwave Presidential Endorsements
By Baron Dave Romm
Shockwave Radio Theater is now in its 26th year, a frightening concept in and of itself. Even more frightening is national politics, and Shockwave has endorsed a candidate for president every presidential race since 1980. No one who's actually running, of course. What would be the point in that? We'll announce this year's endorsement for US President next week. In the interests of creating a sense of anticipation and to keep you, the the Bartcop E readers, guessing, let us this column go over past endorsements.
For the 1980 presidential election, Shockwave supported the candidate that could help solve the energy crisis, had the international stature and had enough hot air to be a politician: Mt. St. Helens. Alas, he didn't win, but the volcano is back in the news, as seismologists are concerned about a new eruption. Available now but not in 1980 are volcano cams, where you can track seismic activity and do your own hydrologic monitoring. It's a long url from the US Geological Survey, so just type "Mt St. Helens" into google.
In 1984, We endorsed the candidate who had demonstrated leadership ability, battled against adversity and was so far above everyone else as to make the choice obvious: Sally Ride. (She got a few votes, too, showing how influential Shockwave was, even then..)
In 1988 we editorialized, "We need a President who taps into
the heartland of Americana. A President on the right side of the
gender gap. A President who's reputation is already tarnished so a
scandal won't shake him up. And so, SHOCKWAVE triumphantly supports
Elvis Presley for President!
Elvis would make a great President. The major drawback to supporting
Elvis for President is that he's probably dead. But what if he
isn't? What if he's just hiding? He's such a patriotic individual
that election to high public office would overcome his modesty and he
would reemerge. The chance to have Elvis back is too tempting.
"What would happen if Elvis were elected and it turned out he really
was dead, and no one was President. Would that be so bad?"
1992 was a special year. That was the time when Grant Central, the Man From the Future, ran for president. You see, there's a section of North Minneapolis in which the streets are named after the presidents. Cutting through that section, as it cuts through much of N. Mpls, is Central Avenue. Therefore he already KNEW he was presidential material. His campaign slogan was, "He's from the future, he knows." He knew enough to run a low-key campaign and wasn't disappointed in the result.
For the 1996 presidential endorsement, Shockwave broke with it's longstanding tradition and actually supported someone actually running for president. We were, however, one of the few major media outlets to support him. Shockwave was proud to support the only candidate who deserves to be taken seriously: Pat Paulsen. Paulsen has been running for president, off and on, since his campaign started on The Smothers Brothers Show in the 60s. He has the look of an experienced campaigner, the knowledge of what the people want, and the sense of humor to deal with everything that comes his way. Shockwave was in contact with the Paulsen campaign, but did not accept any PAC money.
By 2000, Shockwave's tradition of breaking with longstanding tradition had become longstanding. Once again, we endorsed a candidate who was mounting a campaign. In the opinion of Shockwave, the best candidate for the office of president in the 2000 election was... Barbie. She was old enough, at age 40, and has vast amounts of experience. Since her debut in 1959, Barbie has had 75 successful careers including Astronaut, Olympic Swimmer, Super Hero, and Elvis Fan (and more by 2004). Girls nationwide own an average of eight Barbies. Since so many girls have seen Barbie nude, sex scandals were a thing of the past.
Ah, I remember when the biggest threat to national security was a trumped up sex scandal. Now we have presidential scandals involving Enron, the Energy Task Force, the misuse of The Patriot Act, lying about starting an distracting war, and the biggest scandal of all, leaving town when warned of the 9/11 terrorist attacks and smothering any attempt at holding this administration accountable for mistakes before and after the tragedy. Oh, and not getting the Anthrax killers either. Bush is going to get us all killed. W. has betrayed our trust. But I digress.
Next week: Official Shockwave Radio endorsement for President of the United States in 2004.
Special for Bartcop E readers: Who would YOU endorse? And why? Major candidates actually running do not qualify. E-Mail Baron Dave with your endorsements and I might print them here (and/or read them on the radio).
Baron Dave Romm is a conceptual artist and a noble of Ladonia with a radio show, a very weird CD collection and an ever growing list of political links. He reviews things at random for obscure web sites. You can read all his music recommendations from Bartcop-E here, you can order Shockwave Radio Theater CDs, and you can hear the last two Shockwave broadcasts in Real Audio here (scroll down to Shockwave). Thanks to everyone who has sent me music to play on the air, and I'm continuing to collect extra-weird stuff.
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from Bruce
Recommended Reading
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from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
Reader Suggesions
More Bumper Stickers
George W. Bush: A Deer Caught In Headlights
Bush/Cheney: The Wrong War At The Wrong Place At The Wrong Time
Bush/Cheney: Bad Intelligence
Your Name Here: Not Fooled, Not Scared, I'm Voting For Kerry
Thanks, Bruce!
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny, breezy & pleasant.
The Goodyear Blimp returned home today. Good to hear it's hum overhead again.
Robin Williams performs during the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation's Grand Slam for Children at MGM Grand Hotel and Casino Saturday, Oct. 2, 2004. Proceeds from the concert go to benefit underprivileged, abused and abandoned children.
Photo by Matthew Minard
'La Cucaracha'
Lalo Alcaraz
You can be Democrat, Republican - it doesn't matter. If you drag out sombreros and pinatas to court Hispanic voters, and then forget the country's largest minority group after election day, the cockroach will lash out.
The cockroach is Chicano hipster Cuco Rocha, the main character in La Cucaracha, a politically edgy Hispanic-themed comic strip. The cockroach is militant, self-righteous and mad. And, through syndication to more than 100 newspapers, he and his jalapeno-hot political satire are crawling into millions of homes.
Creator and artist Lalo Alcaraz uses the roach to lambaste U.S. resident George W. Bush, Democratic challenger John (Juan) Kerry and pretty much anyone else in between. Cuco Rocha watches MTV Voto Latino shows and calls whites "gringos." He also makes up a game lampooning Mexico's classic bingo game. In Cuco's version, each candidate in the el In Cuco's version, each candidate in the election gets a card: Kerry is Juan Kerry, "El Valiente" - the brave one; Bush is "El Ex-Borracho": "now thankfully hooked on Jesus and extended vacation days."
For a great read, Lalo Alcaraz
Actor Michael J. Fox (L) skates past Filmmaker Bobby Farrelly during a 'Celebrity Hat Trick' to benefit the Leary Firefighters Foundation in Boston, Massachusetts, October 3, 2004.
Photo by Jessica Rinaldi
Post-Election Changes Loom
FCC
Forecasting the future lineup and policy decisions of the Federal Communications Commission after the Nov. 2 presidential election right now is a job best done by observers with a lot of Washington experience, a crystal ball and a divining rod.
The basics seem easy enough: The five FCC commissioners are appointed by the president and confirmed by the Senate for five-year terms. They can be reappointed. Three commissioners, including the chairman, are of the president's party.
The three current Republicans on the FCC are chairman Michael K. Powell, Kathleen Q. Abernathy and Kevin J. Martin. The two Democrats are Michael J. Copps and Jonathan S. Adelstein.
FCC
Wedding News
Lee - Joel
Singer-songwriter Billy Joel married his fiancee, 23-year-old Kate Lee, in a ceremony Saturday at his Long Island mansion, his record label said.
Joel, 55, wed Lee in a sunset wedding at his waterfront home, Newsday reported in its online editions. Columbia Records, Joel's label, announced the marriage Saturday night. A spokeswoman for Joel could not immediately be reached for comment.
Lee, a native of Huntington, W.Va., recently graduated from Ohio's Miami University and works as a restaurant correspondent for the PBS show George Hirsch: Living It Up! She and Joel began dating last year, according to Newsday.
Lee - Joel
A trio of activists hold placards that protest against the Australian government's support of the United States led war in Iraq, as an estimated 5,000 protesters marched through the streets of Sydney October 3, 2004. One week out from a knife-edged election Australian Prime Minister John Howard declared on Sunday he will be re-elected on Oct. 9, but only just, as anti-Iraq war rallies around the country urged voters to throw Howard out of office.
Photo by Tim Wimborne
Hip Replacement After Fall
Robert Novak
Political columnist Robert Novak (R-Traitor) broke his hip while in the Miami area for the first presidential debate and was recovering from surgery in a hospital, a newspaper reported Saturday.
The 73-year-old conservative pundit fell early Friday in a hotel bathroom and underwent partial hip replacement surgery that afternoon, the Washington Post reported.
Nurses confirmed Novak was at Doctor's Hospital in Coral Gables on Saturday, but directed all inquiries to the public relations department of CNN, where Novak is one of the hosts of Crossfire.
Robert Novak
Loses Panama Diplomatic Passport
Sean Connery
James Bond no longer has diplomatic status - at least not in Panama. The government has canceled 121 diplomatic passports issued by the previous presidential administration, including one extended to actor Sean Connery.
The cancelations on Friday came as part of a massive effort to clean up and update the Foreign Relation Department's files, according to Vice President Samuel Lewis Navarro.
The vice president described the Scotland-born Connery as a friend of former President Mireya Moscoso. Connery traveled to Panama in March 2003, visited a coffee plantation belonging to Moscoso and received an award from the then-president.
Sean Connery
Parole Hearing for John Lennon's Killer
Mark Chapman
Mark Chapman, the man who gunned down John Lennon in New York, could be released from jail this week -- a prospect that has drawn protests and even threats against his life from the former Beatle's fans.
Having served 24 years, Chapman has a parole hearing scheduled for Tuesday or Wednesday, a spokeswoman for the State of New York Division of Parole said.
It will be the third hearing for Chapman, whose previous requests to be set free were turned down in 2000 and 2002. On the last occasion, the parole board ruled that release would "deprecate the seriousness" of his crime.
Mark Chapman
France's Christian Moullec flies with a group of geese during an aeronautic festival at Barcelona's beach, Sunday, Oct. 3, 2004.
Photo by Toni Albir
Pope Beatifies Four
New Saints
Pope John Paul II beatified the last Austro-Hungarian emperor, Charles I, who is remembered in Austria for authorising the use of mustard gas during World War I.
Also beatified was German mystic Anna Katharina Emmerick whose visions inspired Mel Gibson's controversial film "The Passion of the Christ."
Charles I's beatification has caused controversy in Austria, where he is remembered for giving the go-ahead for the use of deadly mustard gas during World War I. Critics there believe his elevation to be politically driven by the conservative right.
The Austrian press has ridiculed not only Charles' political record but the miracle he allegedly produced to merit beatification. According to the Vatican, he cured a Brazilian nun of varicose veins after doctors had given up all hope for her.
New Saints
The group 'Colla Vella dels Xiquets de Valls' form a human tower called 'castell' during an annual competition in the northeastern Spanish city of Tarragona October 3, 2004. The formation of human towers is a tradition in this area of Catalonia and between 100 and 200 people are needed to complete a tower.
Photo by Albert Gea
Joins List of Western Heroes
Glen Campbell
Glen Campbell is joining a heady list of Western heroes. The Autry National Center is honoring Campbell with its Western Heritage Award for promoting the spirit and legacy of the American West.
Past recipients include James Stewart, James Garner, Clint Eastwood, James Arness, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Robert Wagner, Clayton Moore and Gene Autry.
Glen Campbell
Students take part in a demonstration commemorating the 1968 massacre of protesters in Tlatelolco plaza Saturday Oct. 2, 2004, in Mexico City. Once-secret government files say a massacre of student protesters 36 years ago was touched off when at least 360 snipers under government command fired into the crowd.
Photo by Eduardo Verdugo
Profits Down In UK
McDonald's
In Blighty, a movie is getting a large share of the credit (or blame) for the news that fast-food giant McDonald's UK's pre-tax profits have dropped 72% from a jumbo sized $150 million to a lean $42.5 million.
The lack of hard evidence linking the swelling of Morgan Spurlock's belly and the shrinking of profits at McDonald's didn't stop newspapers like the London Evening Standard from reporting, on page one no less, that "the global success of the protest film 'Super Size Me' " was a key factor in the firm's precipitous profit decline, noting "the film...has been playing to packed cinemas." The Sept. 28 profits collapse story was illustrated with the now-familiar image of the film's star/director Morgan Spurlock stuffing his face with fries.
Also blamed for the profits fall is the ongoing "McLibel Two" lawsuit in the European Court of Human Rights. The case, in which two people are suing the British government over the country's libel laws, stems from a 14-year-old libel case involving McDonald's and has been cited as another public relations disaster for the firm.
McDonald's
A swan watches a chain of seven young swans in the port of Rapperswil at the Zurich lake, Switzerland, on Saturday, Oct. 2, 2004 on a sunny day.
Photo by Steffen Schmidt
