'Best of TBH Politoons'
Baron Dave Romm
Sharing Pluto's Demotion
By Baron Dave Romm
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Pluto was demoted from "planet" to "dwarf planet" by the International Astronomical Association. The other eight "wanderers" are now Planets Classic and will be marketed with a new red stripe and Michael Jackson.
Well, sure, fine. The new definitions won't change how science is conducted, and won't stop astronomers from peering through telescopes. The is PR only, sort of like a Bush press conference. But as long as we're redefining the Solar System, let's examing a few other lists. Herein we present:
The Top 11 Things Which Deserve Demotion
11. Commandment Number 9, Thou Shall Not Bear False Witness. With so many self-proclaimed "Christians" lying and believing lies the name of Jesus, and doing it for legal proceedings such as declaring war or passing environmental laws, clearly telling the truth has no place in the religious pantheon. The Nine-Commandment Christians can now rest easy that the sin of lying is considered too small to guarantee eternal damnation. The 9th Commandment is now a suggestion.
10. Doc. Six Dwarves can handle the mining while Doc can work full time finding a way to relieve the symptoms of Sneezy, a prescription stimulant for Sleepy and a development program for Dopey. Don't consider it a demotion, Doc, consider it a research grant.
9. Batman isn't a super-hero, he has no superpowers. He's an important crime-fighter, to be sure, but I demote him to Dwarf Hero, not because of his stature, but because of his eccentric career path. Being a Hero is enough, Bruce.
8. Lake Michigan hangs down from the string of Great Lakes and isn't in the path of the drainage system that starts at the Boundary Waters and feeds through Lake Superior and works its way down the St. Lawrence River to the Atlantic. Sure, it's big and important, but it's not in the watery ecliptic and doesn't deserve to be a Great Lake. A Really, Really Good Lake.
7. Beethovan's Second Symphony. It's pretty good, and most would argue that it's a symphony, but it pales beside the more famous Fifth and Ninth and I'm going to knock it down to Arrangement.
6. Star Wars Ep. 1-3 shall be knocked down from Episodes to Prequels. This long overdue reassessment won't change box office numbers, but will help future cinema scientists evaluate their importance.
5. Top 11 List Number 5 has been demoted to Cheap Joke, because I couldn't think of anything really funny.
4. The 21st Century. More study is needed to determine if enough years have passed. Currently being considered as the Outer Decade. The Aughts.
3. Baseball isn't a sport anymore. Fun to play on an amateur level: Drug-sodden on the professional level. It's clearly not a "sport" in the sense of a fair contest between teams. For most of us, baseball is a pastime. For those making millions, it's a Die Young and Leave A Good Looking Corpse Professional Entertainment Vehicle (PEV).
2. Big Brother: All Stars has been demoted from Reality Show because, you know, who cares?
1. The Electron is demoted from an atomic particle to a mere mesonic symbol. The electron is too small and doesn't move like the rest of the larger and more stationary particles such as the proton and neutron. Quantum Physics gives the electron a whole new role. Oh well.
Baron Dave Romm is a conceptual artist and a noble of Ladonia who produces Shockwave Radio Theater, writes in a Live Journal demi-blog, plays with a very weird CD collection and an ever growing list of political links. Dave Romm reviews things at random for obscure web sites. You can read all his music recommendations from Bartcop-E. Podcasts of Shockwave Radio Theater. Permanent archive. More radio programs, interviews and science fiction humor plays can be accessed on the Shockwave Radio audio page.
Thanks to everyone who has sent me music to play on the air.
--////
Update From Colby
Hey Katherine
Hi,
Katherine Harris still hasn't given her campaign the $10 million she promised on national TV six months ago.
Hey Katherine: Show Me the Money
Colby Black
in Frostproof
Thanks, Colby!
Hurricane Katrina
Timelines
Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Wealth Does Not Create Individual Happiness and it Doesn't Build a Strong Country, Either (psychologicalscience.org)
... the psychological well-being of its citizens is the greatest measure of a nation-- not the well-being of its economy. "While wealth has trebled over the past 50 years�well-being has been flat, mental illness has increased at an even more rapid rate, and data, not just nostalgic reminiscences, indicate that the social fabric is more frayed than it was in leaner times," the authors state. Prosperity is neither the answer nor the cause of satisfaction. The study calls for an ongoing systematic set of national indicators of well-being to report on a society and aid in its policy-making.
Debra Chasnoff: How to stop hate crimes (Advocate.com)
When four under-25 suspects are arrested for hate crimes in San Diego, it's a sign that we are failing to educate young people about diversity and respect for all. But we already have programs that can do just that.
Robert Urban: Leslie Jordan Tells All (afterelton.com)
With a penchant for effete, high-camp one-liners delivered in his trademark Tennessee twang, the diminutive Leslie Jordan (at 4 feet 11 inches tall) may be best known as Mr. Beverly Leslie, Karen Walker's uppity little nemesis on Will & Grace. But Jordan, who is openly gay, has been mincing his way into America's heart since 1982, and has hundreds of commercials, sitcoms, voiceover and movie roles to his credit.
Locksley Hall: Out British Actress Sophie Ward (afterellen.com)
British actress Sophie Ward is a woman who has always been ahead of the curve. Born in 1964, the daughter of actor parents, she began acting lessons as a small child, and by the age of 10 had her first professional role in a British television play. In 1994, Ward starred in a TV adaptation of Joanna Trollope's novel A Village Affair, about a married woman with children who falls in love with another woman. And in December 1996 - at a time when Ellen DeGeneres was still in the closet - Ward caused a tabloid uproar in Britain by coming out as a lesbian herself.
Roger Ebert: Double Indemnity (1944; A Great Movie)
"No, I never loved you, Walter -- not you or anybody else. I'm rotten to the heart. I used you, just as you said. That's all you ever meant to me. Until a minute ago, when I couldn't fire that second shot."
BILL ZWECKER: Feel-good 'Worms' easy to digest (suntimes.com)
When you realize that the father of Thomas Rockwell was the immensely popular illustrator Norman Rockwell, it is probably not surprising that this story -- even translated for 2006 young movie audiences -- is deftly focused on universal, simple themes. Certainly those old Rockwell-drawn Saturday Evening Post magazine covers seem dated and quaint today, but upon reflection, they still resonate with 21st-century observers.
Sherry Huang: Fifteen Fall [Religious] Books for Kids (beliefnet.com)
Having homework doesn't mean children should stop reading for fun. Here are our favorite kids' books for the fall season.
Hubert's Poetry Corner
LEATHER, CHAINS AND THE BIG O IN THE BIG APPLE
A SCREAMER, A MOANER, OR JUST FRIGIDLY INDIFFERENT?
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
No new flags.
Lashes Out At Media Consolidation
Al Gore
Former Vice President Al Gore said Sunday ever-tighter political and economic control of the media is a major threat to democracy.
Gore said the goal behind his year-old "interactive" television channel Current TV was to encourage the kind of democratic dialogue that thrives online but is increasingly rare on TV.
"Democracy is under attack," Gore told an audience at the Edinburgh International Television Festival. "Democracy as a system for self-governance is facing more serious challenges now than it has faced for a long time.
"Democracy is a conversation, and the most important role of the media is to facilitate that conversation of democracy. Now the conversation is more controlled, it is more centralized."
Al Gore
TV Words Of The Year
Stephen Colbert
"Truthiness" and "Wikiality" -- two of the words popularized by political satirist Stephen Colbert on his TV show "The Colbert Report"-- were named on Sunday the top television buzzwords of the year.
The word-trend group Global Language Monitor, in its annual survey of words from television that had an impact on the language, also cited the words "Katrina," referring to continuing stories about the hurricane's destruction; "Katie," a reference to Katie Couric's move into the nightly news anchor role at CBS News; and "Dr. McDreamy," a nod to a character on the breakout hit "Grey's Anatomy."
Global Language Monitor defined "truthiness" as used by Colbert as meaning "truth unencumbered by the facts." "Wikiality," derived from the user-compiled Wikipedia information Web site, was defined as "reality as determined by majority vote," as when astronomers voted Pluto off their list of planets last week.
Stephen Colbert
Wins Heart of Sarajevo
'Das Fraulein'
"Das Fraulein" (The Young Lady), a debut feature film by Swiss-born Andrea Staka, has won the Heart of Sarajevo award at the annual film festival in the Bosnian capital.
It was the second top honor at a European festival for the Swiss-German-Bosnian co-production, which won the Golden Leopard at the Locarno festival earlier this month.
British film and theater director Mike Leigh won an honorary Heart of Sarajevo award for his contribution to cinematography and support of the Sarajevo festival, which began 12 years ago in defiance of the city's 1992-95 siege.
More than 100,000 people attended the 9-day event, devoted to the promotion of films by young authors from southern and eastern Europe. Actor Nick Nolte and U2's Bono were among international guests.
'Das Fraulein'
Says Poodle Is Subservient
Jimmy Carter
Former President Jimmy Carter accused Tony Blair on Sunday of being "subservient" to the White House, saying the British prime minister failed to constrain America on Iraq.
"I have been surprised and extremely disappointed by Tony Blair's behavior," Carter said in an interview with The Sunday Telegraph newspaper.
"I think that more than any other person in the world, the prime minister could have had a moderating influence on Washington - and he has not," added Carter, who opposed the war in Iraq. "I really thought that Tony Blair ... would be a constraint on resident Bush's policy toward Iraq."
Jimmy Carter
US Journalist In Darfur Court
Paul Salopek
An American journalist appeared in court in Darfur on Saturday on charges of espionage and entering the country illegally, his lawyers and other sources said.
Paul Salopek, a writer on assignment for National Geographic magazine and also a staff reporter for the Chicago Tribune, was arrested last week for crossing into Sudan via Darfur's long and porous border with neighboring Chad.
His lawyer, Mohamed Khalil did not confirm the exact charges facing Salopek but two other U.S. sources said he had been charged with espionage and entering the country illegally.
Paul Salopek
Taxable Loot
Swag Bag
They have become as much a part of the award season milieu as limousines and acceptance speeches, but awards show presenters' elaborate gift baskets, typically filled with everything from jewelry to weekend spa visits, might be headed the way of the dodo.
To the surprise of many (and the delight of others who deem the gift bags studies in material excess), earlier this year the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences voted to discontinue the practice of thanking Oscar presenters and performers with gift baskets, often valued at more than $100,000, beginning with the 2007 ceremony.
And earlier this month, in response to the Internal Revenue Service's assertion that the contents of the Oscar gift basket constitute taxable income for presenters (all of whom make otherwise unpaid appearances onstage), the Academy agreed to send informational tax forms to the recipients of this year's swag. They, in turn, will be responsible for any tax obligations.
Swag Bag
Sacks Vatican Astronomer
Pope Benedict XVI
Pope Benedict XVI has sacked his chief astronomer after a series of public clashes over the theory of evolution.
He has removed Father George Coyne from his position as director of the Vatican Observatory after the American Jesuit priest repeatedly contradicted the Holy See's endorsement of "intelligent design" theory, which essentially backs the "Adam and Eve" theory of creation.
Benedict favours intelligent design, which says God directs the process of evolution, over Charles Darwin's original theory which holds that species evolve through the random, unplanned processes of genetic mutation and the survival of the fittest.
But Father Coyne, the director of the Vatican Observatory for 28 years, is an outspoken supporter of Darwin's theory, arguing that it is compatible with Christianity.
Pope Benedict XVI
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