(and not just a lame attempt to get free Eagles tickets)
You can probably tell that sometimes I have to force myself to do this. It's the last thing on earth I feel like doing. You can also probably tell that's when I often do my best work, when I don't want to do it.
Conventional wisdom tells the journalist that he shouldn't be writing in the first person because, after all, we're supposed to be covering an event and the event isn't us. That sentence should have read "The writer often does their best work when they're forced to do it," or more confrontationally, "You often do your best work when it's the last thing on earth you feel like doing." Anything but "I," which makes you an egotist, not a journalist.
Sometimes I'm in "pure writer" mode where I'm free to simply improvise, treating my computer keyboard with the same reverence I pay and play to a Steinway keyboard, crank it up and see what this baby can do. But sometimes I need to get into "professional journalist" mode, so I picture Leonard Maltin's Film Guide. If you were looking up, oh, say Field of Dreams, would you want to read "This film reminds me of my fucked up childhood and how my dad forced me to go to Dodger Stadium and sit through baseball games where we always had to leave during the eighth inning to beat the parking lot traffic." I don't think so. You're probably trying to decide what to watch tonight, seeking simple information concerning how good a film is, how many stars does it get, and the last thing you need to know is how fucked up was the childhood of the writer.
It's perhaps in reaction to decades of dealing with professional newspaper and magazine editors that I now find myself on the internet randomly inserting myself into every news item I find, covering the inside world with the same scalpel I use on the outside world. That'll show 'em.
I would hope I haven't grown beyond the realm of mere enterprise and still contain the skills to do the job. Maybe not. Here I present a recent discussion I had with the entertainment editor of a major daily who prefers to remain anonymous, so let's call him Sam.
Sam,
It was August 11, 1973, when I went to The Corral, a tiny little place in Topanga Canyon, maybe room for 300, to see Joni Mitchell opening for Neil Young and the Santa Monica Flyers. Joni was good, Neil was excellent, and at the end of his set said "some friends of mine have formed a new band and they've been rehearsing for a few weeks. They've never performed in public before, so if you want to stick around, you're welcome to check them out." Half the place split, the rest of us stuck around to be blown away by the very first public appearance of The Eagles, who did their whole first album. How about a piece on The Eagles last concert by someone who was there at their first?
MD
Michael,
That sounds great to me. Will you take $75 for it? Can you provide the context about how long they had been backing up Linda Ronstadt and any other bands, say Rick Nelson? How they recruited guys from Poco and the Burrito Brothers, etc? And would you know if there were any photos taken of that night? When can you have the story ready? I look forward to it.
- Sam
Sam,
$75's fine. I would tell their whole story, focusing on the difference between the band I saw then and what they are now. Even people who currently hate the Eagles because they're so slick would have liked the band I saw then.
As far as pictures are concerned, I didn't take any and there's no one to contact at the Corral since it burned down, but there are Topanga blogs of aging hippies where I've seen postings from people who remember the night. I can post a request for pictures and who knows what will turn up.
Of course the big issue is that I haven't seen their farewell tour yet and don't have tickets. I was thinking of going on 11/12 to the Indian Wells Tennis Garden, but if you want the piece before they appear here, then I've got to see them at Staples or Arrowhead or Glendale. Either way, I would need a letter from you to get a press pass. I can probably handle contacting the Eagles press office myself, but if you've already got contacts that would be great. Any way you want to work it.
MD
Michael,
I appreciate your desire to get tickets to see the Eagles before the story, but I wouldn't want the scope of the story to be so big that you would need to compare the Eagles then with the Eagles now. I see this as a little story of how they started and how they sounded before they became huge. You should keep it to 700 words (no more than 800) and end it with just a reference to the corporate monstrosity they are now.
- Sam
Evolve Like an Eagle
by Michael Dare
On August 11, 1973, I went to The Corral, a tiny place in Topanga Canyon, to see Joni Mitchell opening for Neil Young and the Santa Monica Flyers. Joni was good, but no one was paying attention, so she left in a huff after only a few songs. Neil Young was excellent and tore the house down. At the end of his set, he said "some friends of mine have formed a new band and they've been rehearsing for a few weeks. They've never performed in public before, so if you want to stick around, you're welcome to check them out."
Half the place split, the rest of us stuck around to be blown away by the very first public appearance of The Eagles, who did their whole first album.
It was the ideal circumstance to be introduced to any band. Years later, when I had a weekly column in Billboard, publicists with press kits for new acts would inevitably lead me to expect something far superior to what I got. This was the opposite. Within five minutes The Eagles ranked with the best bands I'd ever seen, and that particular concert was certainly the most pleasurable.
When I eventually went to see Springsteen or the Stones or dozens others, I expected them to be good and they were. They each lived up to my extraordinarily high expectations. But nothing is quite as satisfying as music that vastly exceeds your expectations. In the case of the Eagles, I literally expected nothing. It was just a bunch of guys who'd put some songs together who I happened to catch and who happened to be VERY good.
Glenn Frey was on guitar and keyboards, Don Henley on drums, Bernie Leadon on guitar, and Randy Meisner on bass, with all singing spectacular four-part harmonies worthy of The Beach Boys. They were far from a garage band, having backed Linda Rondstadt for a year. These guys hadn't just "put some songs together," they had rehearsed the hell out of them, and each song was a perfect little gem, polished to perfection, every strum, every drum lick and vocal harmony in place. Improvisation was not their thing. Everything was smooth as silk, precise, calculated, utterly professional, not a missed note or haphazard piece of phrasing.
And the songs themselves, Jackson Brown and Glen Frey's Take it Easy, Tom Waits' Ol' 55, Jack Tempshin's Peaceful Easy Feeling, Henley and Leadon's own Witchy Woman, were all classics with killer hooks. They were part Flying Burrito Brothers, part Poco, part Crosby, Stills, Nash, and for one full hour, I was convinced they were the best band on earth - a little bit bluegrass, a little bit country, playing music Glenn Frey later described as "Mexican Surf Rock."
For months I got to feel hip, saying to people, "Hey man, ever heard of The Eagles? They're really great. Neil Young turned me on to them." A year later, it was a line I could never use again. Of course they had heard of The Eagles. Who hadn't heard of The Eagles? Hits just poured right out of them, Best of My Love, Desperado, Lyin' Eyes, Take it to the Limit, Tequila Sunrise, The Long Run, Life in the Fast Lane, Heartache Tonight, Victim of Love, the list goes on and on, proving my initial take was correct, and I was the luckiest concert-goer on earth to have been there when it started. Their Greatest Hits album, which doesn't even have anything on it from Hotel California, has sold 28 million copies and is currently the biggest seller of all time.
In the years since my spectacular introduction to The Eagles, I always ended up defending them against rockers who thought they were too smooth and calculated, without a hint of raunch, which is considered an essential ingredient in the heart of rock 'n' roll. It was a position I could understand if you had been introduced to them as the AM hit machine that everyone knew. I always knew that if I could just grab somebody and take them in a time machine, back to 1973 at the Corral, even the most severe Eagles critic would have become a convert.
For a while, I gave up defending them because there's a bell curve with hit songs. I liked Hotel California the first 20 times I heard it, but once it wouldn't go away, I started hating it. The Eagles were so smooth and ubiquitous that I could do nothing but satirize them, and KROQ in the 80s was happy to oblige, broadcasting Welcome to the Hotel Bhagwan Rajneesh and Leonard Maltin (why don't you come to your senses?) as performed by the Three Guys from Hollywood Musical News Team, of which I was one. Then, thank god, the song wasn't played for a while, and each time it showed up on an oldies hit station, it would evoke fond memories of the time thirty years ago when it felt like The Eagles were my own little secret and not the mammoth corporate music machine they've evolved into today.
And that's it unless I can get tickets and compare their first to their latest.
MD
Michael:
I'm still interested in your story after reading that submission, but it reads more like a column than a feature story. I couldn't use that as a first-person piece since we don't use guest columnists. I also said I wanted to put your observations of that first Eagles concert in context, which you didn't do. Would you like to try it again in the third person with context?
I see this story going outside of your experience to tell how the Eagles formed. How did Henley and Frey meet and get hired as part of Ronstadt's backing band? Why did they hire Randy Meisner from Poco and Bernie Leadon from the Flying Burrito Brothers instead of other members of Ronstadt's backing band? What was the scene like in Laurel Canyon that enabled them to be introduced by Neil Young on a bill with Joni Mitchell? Did they hang with those people and get influenced by CSN&Y? Did Rick Nelson and/or Gram Parsons also influence them? How did they hook up with Jackson Browne on their first hit, "Take It Easy"? Did they know the Beach Boys? Where did the "Mexican surf" sound come from?
I'd like to see you start the story with something like how most people gathered in a tiny club in Topanga Canyon couldn't have dreamed they were seeing the start of a band that would become one of the best-selling recording acts of all time. Or that (nut graph) on Nov. 12 that unknown band would start the first of two (or three) concerts at the Indian Wells Tennis Garden that would make them the biggest single concert attraction in the history of the Coachella Valley (since Frank Sinatra never gave a stadium concert down here). Then tell briefly if they provided any hints at that at the Corral and go backwards to how they began. I think it should build it to a climax with how they sounded at the Corral -- keeping it all in the third person.
If you could do that, I'd still be very interested in this story.
- Sam
Sam,
Sorry to hear the first person is verboten at the Desert Sun. That means you wouldn't print Patrick F. McManus, Art Buchwald, Garrison Keillor, Hunter S. Thompson, or even Mark Twain, all people I occasionally emulate, so I guess I'm in good company.
The only reason I didn't include any of the facts you list here about the Eagles is that I didn't know them. Beware working for someone who knows more than you do. The article included absolutely everything I knew about the Eagles, and I still thought it was entertaining and informative.
It's perfectly understandable that you would want your readers to get all the facts, even the ones I don't know, and I'm willing to do the research, but it'll take at least a couple days. I actually have three other deadlines today and the storm knocked my phone lines out. I'm writing this at 6AM but God knows when you're getting it.
I certainly don't blame you for the Sun's editorial policies but damn, they are a bit archaic. My own personal editorial policy is if it's good reading, run it.
MD
Michael,
I didn't say first person is verboten. I just said I wanted a third-person feature story, not a column. When a person doesn't need to be in a story, but places himself in a story, it just comes off as egocentric. And I'm sure you wouldn't want to be accused of that.
I'm still interested in using your anecdote as a brief or notebook item, but I was wondering if you wanted to rethink your dates. The Eagles had some big hits in 1972, and the band members have told me, through an intermediary, that their first public performance was for the Westlake School for Girls in L.A. So, do you think it might have been August 1971 that you saw them? Can I just used about 6 lines of what remains of your memory of seeing the early Eagles? And, are you going to the concert?
- Sam
Sam,
I wasn't taking notes at the time. All I actually remember is that it was the early 70s. Before writing the piece, I searched and searched. There was no mention of the concert in The Corral archives, the Eagles archives, or the Neil Young archives, but someone at a Joni Mitchell fansite had taken it upon themselves to create the definitive list of absolutely every time Miss Mitchell had ever appeared anywhere. There it was, Joni Mitchell and Neil Young (no mention of the Eagles), appearing at the Corral together on August 11, 1973. I was so happy to have my memory validated that I took the listing at its word. It was, in fact, the only evidence I could find whatsoever that the concert wasn't just a random hallucination from a decade we're not supposed to remember.
Just to be sure, I made a posting to a Topanga Canyon website asking if anyone had been there, and I heard from two people who had only HEARD of the concert, and had heard the place was so packed that part of the roof caved in from fans trying to get in.
This was news to me, but between Young and the Eagles, I was never outside, so I have no way of knowing how many rabid fans of the laid-back Eagles were attempting to fly like one through the skylight of the Corral.
So there are many possibilities...
I was at some earlier concert that hasn't made the history books.
The Joni Mitchell fanatic got the date wrong and I somehow missed the roof caving in.
Neil Young lied to me, and the performance I saw was, in fact, actually their second.
A piece of the roof of The Corral hit me on the head and I just woke up.
I was once a little girl who attended the Westlake School for girls.
In any case, the piece I handed in to you has been printed in the second issue of the newly revitalized LA Free Press and is currently in newsstands across Los Angeles, where there is every possibility it will fall into the hands of someone who knows more than me.
I'm one of the majority who found it impossible to get tickets to The Eagles this week, and even armed with an article in print and an assignment to cover the event, my plaintive pleas to publicists fell upon deaf ears.
In any case, you are welcome to plunderize and extract any portions of my Eagles article you may find useful, and if a publicist with a heart larger than a flea's naval shows a speck of human decency and gets me in, I'll send you a further report.
MD
Michael,
Thanks anyway, but I think we can finally stop assigning stories about the Eagles. Just a couple more in the can left to get in the paper.
-Sam
The Opposite of Journalism
Tom Robbins has a new book out, Wild Ducks Flying Backward. It is simultaneously the worst and best book ever, and I cannot recommend it more highly. It is his only book that is not a novel but merely a collection of his short writing, his liner notes, his articles, and his journalism - spanning 30 years. If you ever wondered why Tom Robbins stopped being a journalist and devoted his entire writing time to novels, this book will answer that question with a resounding crack to your cerebellum. Outside of his novels, Tom's writing is still Tom's writing, and it is precisely the sort that drives newspaper editors crazy.
Imagine for the moment that you have asked Tom Robbins to write the liner notes to the new Leonard Cohen album, and what you get back contains this: "There is evidence that the honoree might be privy to the secret of the universe, which, in case you're wondering, is simply this: everything is connected. Everything. Many, if not most, of the links are difficult to determine. The instrument, the apparatus, the focused ray that can uncover and illuminate those connections is language. And just as a sudden infatuation often will light up a person's biochemical sky more pyrotechnically than any deep abiding attachment, so an unlikely, unexpected burst of linguistic imagination will usually reveal greater truths than the most exacting scholarship. In fact, the poetic image may be the only device remotely capable of dissecting romantic desire, let alone disclosing the hidden mystical essence of the material world."
Not a word about Leonard Cohen except for the fact it's about absolutely everything, including the nature of the universe and the struggle to express it in words, just like Leonard Cohen, just like all writers, me and you, people whose passion to express ourselves is constantly pressing against the boundaries of our talent to do so. A writer cannot read this without thinking my God, I should be writing like this, how does he do it?
Even when he's on topic he's a singular master of metaphor. How would you describe Leonard Cohen's voice? Deep, monotonous, flat, unemotional, and gravelly are words that spring to mind, but they're not good enough for Tom Robbins, who does it like this: "It is a voice raked by the claws of Cupid, a voice rubbed raw by the philosopher's stone. A voice marinated in kirschwasser, sulfur, deer musk, and snow; bandaged with sackcloth from a ruined monastery; warmed by the embers left down near the river after the gypsies have gone. It is a penitent's voice, a rabbinical voice, a crust of unleavened vocal toast - spread with smoke and subversive wit. He has a voice like a carpet in an old hotel, like a bad itch on the hunchback of love. It is a voice meant for pronouncing the names of women - and cataloguing their sometimes hazardous charms."
Knowing how he works, I would venture to say that Tom spent the better part of a day working on that paragraph.
I can only describe Tom Robbins' voice as one to aspire to. He teaches us that as long as you're going to write, you might as well put some thought into it and say something that, beyond the slightest shred of any doubt, has never been said the way you're going to say it.
It's the opposite of journalism and screenwriting, making this book the absolute worst possible role model for a writer trying to work at a newspaper or for a writer of screenplays where florid descriptions are verboten. My story of the Eagles concert above is a perfect example of "being yourself" getting in the way of making 75 bucks.
It seems to be that you can only write like Robbins if you're working for yourself. Robbins' novelistic approach to journalism might be an acquired taste, one you can't bite into like an apple but must consume as delicately as a pomegranate, piece by piece, savoring each morsel or you'll get it all over yourself, and you should get over yourself. Nobody's going to ask you to write like this, except possibly me.
How would you describe the Bush administration? Corrupt, arrogant, fascist, warmongering, intolerant, and brutal are words that spring to mind, but they wouldn't be good enough for Tom Robbins, who never writes about politics. But if he did, what would he say?
Warren Beatty - Rat catcher Bruce Willis - Truck driver Steve McQueen - Towel boy in a house of ill repute Paul McCartney - Electric coil winder Madonna - Waitress at a burger bar Sylvester Stallone - Beautician Rod Stewart - Gravedigger Dean Martin - Bootleg whiskey runner Walt Disney - Apple masher in jelly factory Princess Diana - Children's nanny Mick Jagger - Porter in a mental hospital Raquel Welch - Secretary to a bishop Marilyn Monroe - Aircraft factory worker Sean Connery - Milkman Mussolini - Chocolate factory worker Abraham Lincoln - Doorman Tchaikovsky - Office clerk Charles Dickens - Shoe polish factory worker Socrates - Stone worker Hitler - Designer of advertising posters for deodorants
Question: How many personal problems does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Personal Problems, I don't have any personal problems... except...maybe...being out of light bulbs. Honestly I could give you a list of my problems but for them to make sense I would have to tell you my life story and no one in their right mind wants that. lets just say i have a 19 year old daughter I would sell cheap if I could get away with it.
- spitfyre
None. It'll never happen, no matter how many personal problems show up. Believe me. No matter if there are 2 or 2 billion, the bulb will never get screwed in. It might get screwed up but never in.Each personal problem will be worse than the next, and all the personal problems will try to suck the energy out of the others, and everyone and everything within ear shot. But even if only one personal problem show up the light bulb won't get changed. The one will sit and piss and moan about how no one cares and no one gives a shit any more and more likely than not the bulb will get smashed against the wall by wave after wave of self pity.But I do want to say that your story of personal problems has touched my heart. Never before have I EVER heard of anyone with more problems than you have. Please accept this expression of my sincere sympathy. Now fuck off and quit bothering me while I change this light bulb. You sure as hell aren't going to do it.
Peace
- Joe
We're sitting on our blessed Mother Earth from which we get our strength and determination, love and humility - all the beautiful attributes that we've been given. so turn to one another; love one another; respect one another; respect Mother Earth; respect the waters-because that's life itself!
- Phil Lane, Sr.
Problems?? Problems are facile equations with a multiplicity of solutions. (Given free will, however,the solutions are often troublesome, as most of us tend to outsmart ourselves.)
- Electra Westmann
Only one really gnarly one. Then the lightbulb is really screwed.
- Jimmy McConnell
TWO. ONE TO HOLD THE LADDER WHILE THEY PISS AND MOAN ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND ONE WHO DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND JUST WANTS TO CHANGE THE FUCKING LIGHT BULB.
- JD
Ask not how many personal problems does it take to screw in a light bulb but how screwing a light bulb might be the cause of your personal problems. Are you feeling OK, Mr. Dare? And just how long can you hold your butt cheeks apart like that?
- Kristen
WTF are you talkin' about? In a gang bang sort of way, your personal problems are a KY-lubricated little five year old girl's toy plastic thimble to my acre of rough-hewn, creosote-dripping, redwood telephone poles, ALL being planted by a PCP-intoxicated crew of smelly silver-back gorillas with an overheating 10-ton jackhammer ... and I never even got that sweet little kiss ... and my Cavebear-Klan Neanderthal doctor insists on using an old rusty horse-saddle needle he found in a cow pasture to help remove all the splinters!So there! Now, please pass me some of that opium salve.
- Dan
None. With that many personal problems who needs light to see them better?
- Rita
How many personal problems does it take to screw in a light bulb?That just raises further questions;Firstly how does an abstract concept like a problem, possessing no genitalia, manage to screw at all? Secondly how the hell did your personal problems get inside a lightbulb?
- Nick Kent
Well, seeing as how my only personal problem seems to be suffer from burned-out light bulbs over my dinner table in the evening immediately at the start of supper when a "level four" Aurora lightning storm spontaneously develops ... and all but one of the 13 other bulbs I try replacing it with are also burned out ... and it's ALWAYS the last bulb I attempt inserting into the socket that is still in good shape ... and I discover that the "pull string" switch is in the "closed' position just as I finish turning the 350 Watt bulb in while that one targeted bolt from G_d hits the rust-disconnected lightning rod on the roof of my house--(written while a patient at the Baghdad Hospital burn center)
- Dan
One. One of my personal problems holds the lightbulb and then the world revolves around it.
- Locke Milholland
A: None
Explanation: Let x represent the lightbulb. Let y represent the number of personal problems needed to change it. Thus, y:x will describe the ratio of personal problems to lightbulbs. This can also be expressed as y/x. The reciprocal of this expression is x/y. [A reciprocal is the number that, when multiplied by its reciprocal, yields a product of 1.] Therefore, y/x x x/y =1, and if the quantity of lightbulbs is known to be 1, the equation becomes y/1 x 1/y =1. Using the law of cancellation, we can eliminate the 1's, leaving y x y = 0. Therefore, knowing that the only way to reach a product of 0 is to multiply any number by 0, y=0. Put in layman's terms, the lightbulb cannot be changed.
- Don Jones
My personal problems have an aversion to the light. You can eat copious amounts of food in the dark. I know where my damn mouth is. - Marta Martin
In extensive research studies, scientists found that even patients with severe hypertension can reduce it quite easily, without drugs, just by watching fish swim around in an aquarium.
Don't Take My Word for It
"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it."
- The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam -
"The ceramic model of the universe is based on the book of Genesis, from which Judaism, Islam, and Christianity derive their basic picture of the world. And the image of the world in the book of Genesis is that the world is an artifact. It is made, as a potter takes clay and forms pots out of it, or as a carpenter takes wood and makes tables and chairs out of it. Don't forget Jesus is the son of a carpenter. And also the son of God. So the image of God and of the world is based on the idea of God as a technician, potter, carpenter, architect, who has in mind a plan, and who fashions the universe in accordance with that plan.
"So basic to this image of the world is the notion, you see, that the world consists of stuff, basically. Primordial matter, substance, stuff. As parts are made of clay. Now clay by itself has no intelligence. Clay does not of itself become a pot, although a good potter may think otherwise. Because if you were a really good potter, you don't impose your will on the clay, you ask any given lump of clay what it wants to become, and you help it to do that. And then you become a genius. But the ordinary idea I'm talking about is that simply clay is unintelligent; it's just stuff, and the potter imposes his will on it, and makes it become whatever he wants.
"And so in the book of Genesis, the lord God creates Adam out of the dust of the Earth. In other words, he makes a clay figurine, and then he breathes into it, and it becomes alive. By itself it is formless, it has no intelligence, and therefore it requires an external intelligence and an external energy to bring it to life and to bring some sense to it. And so in this way, we inherit a conception of ourselves as being artifacts, as being made, and it is perfectly natural in our culture for a child to ask its mother 'How was I made?' or 'Who made me?' And this is a very, very powerful idea, but for example, it is not shared by the Chinese, or by the Hindus. A Chinese child would not ask its mother 'How was I made?' A Chinese child might ask its mother 'How did I grow?' which is an entirely different procedure form making. You see, when you make something, you put it together, you arrange parts, or you work from the outside in, as a sculpture works on stone, or as a potter works on clay. But when you watch something growing, it works in exactly the opposite direction. It works from the inside to the outside. It expands. It burgeons. It blossoms. And it happens all of itself at once. In other words, the original simple form, say of a living cell in the womb, progressively complicates itself, and that's the growing process, and it's quite different from the making process."
"Pray for the ongoing efforts in the war on terror, that the President and all his intelligence sources will obtain the most helpful information in safeguarding America. Pray for them to have godly wisdom in the manner in which they handle each bit of information. Pray for the effectiveness of a new fingerprinting initiative that will screen foreign travelers visiting America. Pray for the strong relationship between Mr. Bush and Mr. Blair. Pray that the President will continue to be guided by the Lord in his deliberations with the U.K."
"Focus, not on the rudenesses of others, not on what they've done or left undone, but on what you have & haven't done yourself."
- Dhammapada, 4 -
"The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear." - Herbert Agar -
"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite." - Paul Dirac -
"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it." - Ellen Goodman -
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
- Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180AD) Roman Emperor -
"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty." - Sacha Guitry -
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form, preferably parchment. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.
There was an Orange Alert from Homeland Security the night before, so I went to bed feelin' sorta peaceful color code-wise from the government (I have me a poster above my bed to tell me how afraid we should be from them Muslims by lookin' at the color, then saying my prayers accordingly), but the damned parked trailer two lots down blew up like a gas tank, and all they was doin' was cooking up some meth.
The local elementary school bus driver, Jimmy, was pushin' that meth shit to the fifth and sixth graders. Damned ole Jimmy, he's good people but don't know dick 'bout them chemicals. He did some kind of drug there in Baghdad when he was stationed over there last year and I don't think he's been the same since. But he voted for Bush, and he wants to stay the course, like our president, like this trailer home park, so he's good people.
Don't know nothing 'bout that cristil meth but it smelt bad when the east wind got strong and Jimmy had some good lookers "bout thirty years old in that there second trailer of his, shit...If they was using meth, they didn't look no skankier than truck drivin' hoes.
After that trailer blew, there was men in space suits who got most of us out of the trailer park. I mean, shit, it was like 2:00a.m., don't know what the hell Jimmy was even doin' up at that hour till his house blew up. He got his hair all singed off, but they took him away in a cop car so I guess he was goin' to jail so he'll have three squares a day. But I had a route startin' at seven a.m. and keepin' me pressed for two days. They say that drug meth is a trucker drug, but the fellas I know buy the Ritalin from all these hyperactive elementary kids. All that Ritalin is is a fancy name for dexedrine, which we been doin' for fifty years.
Wonder what it is with all this cristal meth and their politics. They keep tellin' me we gotta stay the course with the Republicans. Thought this place used to be mainly Democrats till the sand niggers blew us up. I thought about doin' this meth but i get tested driving the truck so I keep sayin' no, but one of these days I'll get tanked up on whiskey or tequila and I bet i do some.
Some of them meth women of Jimmy's look old, but they sure got them skinny bodies us truckers like. One lady was forty but she said she was twenty nine. That don't figure. But ole Jim don't seem to mind the pock marks lotsa women he hangs out with. He told me he had sex for 48 hours one time on that drug. Shit, after 'bout twenty minutes with my ole lady,. I usually tell her, that's it, bitch. 48 hours? When would a fella do for 48 hours cept sleep for a week.
If I was wumpin' some ass with extra stuffin, I still would make me a 4 hour limit followed by a Budweiser, but I don't know if Bud goes with meth, like I never liked Bud and chocolate cake. But we're gonna stay the course. That's the mantra there on our CB. Stay the course no matter what or how long it takes. Jimmy might be goin' to prison, tho, don't know yet. I'm gonna stay the course with my president, tho.
Showtime Presents 'Homecoming' Directed By Joe Dante.
Friday, December 2 at 10 p.m. EST/PST
'Homecoming' darkly satirizes zombie movie conventions, as dead soldiers arise to vote against the politicians who shipped them off to war. Meanwhile, a Karl Rove-like presidential adviser and Ann Coulter-like pundit (the names have been changed, but just barely) manipulate a talk circuit where gaseous windbags presume to speak for the military's fallen.
- Variety
50 Years Ago Today... From Michael Moore (michaelmoore.com)
There is probably no better way to honor Rosa Parks -- and yourself -- than for you to put a stop to an injustice you see, not allowing it to continue for one more second. Do something. Then send me an email (contributions@michaelmoore.com) and tell all of us what you did (I'll post as many as I can).
Joseph Sweat: "Nothing Sacred" (nashscene.com)
"Have you ever seen Benny Hinn?" [Will] Campbell asks. "These frauds, God Almighty. Just liars. Benny Hinn has his own jet airplane, a 10-bedroom house overlooking the Pacific Ocean. This old black preacher lived in a shack. He had an old pickup truck, but most of the time when he went to his church he borrowed a wagon and a team of mules. This guy is authentic. These rich televangelists are frauds mostly. They are liars."
Welcome to the Fahreneheit 9/11 TEACHER'S GUIDE. (michaelmoore.com)
The lessons and activities in this TEACHER'S GUIDE are designed to help students develop a critical analytical ability, historical perspective, and applied math skills that will open their minds beyond the current issues covered in Fahrenheit 9/11.
Bob Woodiwiss: The Ravenous (citybeat.com)
In this Christmas season cheery, while out browsing, growing weary,
Ent'ring chain and specialty shops with merchandise and products galore,
I sought to purchase with my plastic, something utterly fantastic,
When suddenly my thoughts went spastic, spastic in my yule-stressed gourd.
"This stuff's full retail," I declared, a drastic gnawing at my core,
"No one pays that anymore."
Purple Gene's review of Ann Coulter's appearance on FOX's the O'Reilly Factor on Thursday, December 1st 2005:
It was with Shock and Awe that I witnessed the breaking story on FOX tonight…….it was right after…."Christmas Tree Crisis in America" and …"Beth Holloway Twitty's new Dr. Phil evidence in Aruba" ….Special Alert !!!!
"Ann Under Attack" !
What the fuck?????
"Smear Alert" !
This was big news !!!!
"Whore War" !
Then it all became clear….Bill "Fair and Balanced" O'Reilly had an exclusive report that some FAR LEFT web sites were attacking poor, demure soft spoken Ann Coulter. That's right…..They're bombarding CNN and trying to keep her off the air there. People are throwing pies at the Poor Pitiful Pundit! And next week, at the University of Connecticut, they're going to have Ann Coulter and Cindy Sheehan speaking (not on the same day) and some silly misguided students are protesting against the renowned author of "Treason" and "How to Talk to a Liberal (if you have to)" But worst of, as Mr. Bill reports, there are websites that are actually talking about "Rape" with Ann's name mentioned !!!!!
What's a girl to do ? Cry to Uncle Bill? Hide behind her He-Man Hannity the Hun ?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
With her left hand tossing her stringy blond behind her ear and breaking into her shrill baritone voice…..she did what she always does…….
BABBLES OFF MINDLESS BULLSHIT!!!!
After calling the ACLU a "Bunch of Nazi "Block" Watchers"…….she started in on the "Funny, Silly Liberals" ……then hit hard with "Are Liberals evil or just stupid" and cruised into "Liberals….who laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy" !!!!!!
Ann and Bill spent most of the segment trashing the "Far Left Web Bloggers" and though Bill wouldn't dignify them by naming the sites (I know there is a hilarious mock website called "I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard") he ended the show by saying seriously to Ann…."THEY are BAD People….Bad People" !
Purple Gene confesses that he can't get enough of Ann Coulter!!!!!! I have a fantasy of seeing Ann Coulter and Randi Rhodes in a naked mud wrestling contest !!!!! Ann gets 10 bad bawdy brainless blond bimbo jokes out of 10……..for being such a fine spokesperson for the Far Far Right!
CBS begins the night with a RERUN'Ghost Whisperer', followed by the FRESH 2-hour 'Knots Landing Reunion: Together Again'.
Scheduled on a FRESHDave are Luke Wilson and rodeo champion Billy Etbauer.
Scheduled on a FRESHCraig are Tom Arnold, Helen Fielding, and Lifehouse.
NBC starts the night with the FRESH 'special' 'The Happy Elf', followed by a FRESH'Three Wishes', then 'Dateline'.
Scheduled on a FRESHLeno are Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper, Tyra Banks, and Smash Mouth.
Scheduled on a FRESHConan are Giselle Bundchen, Dane Cook, and the White Stripes..
Scheduled on a FRESHCarson Daly are Adam Goldberg, Emilie de Ravin, and LAPush.
ABC opens the night by rolling out 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town', followed by a FRESH'America's So-Called Funniest Home Videos', then '20/20'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Kimmel are Joe Rogan, Jillian Barberie, and Cake.
The WB offers a RERUN'What I Like About You', followed by a RERUN'Reba', then another RERUN'Reba', followed by a RERUN'Twins'.
Faux has a FRESH'Bernie Mac', followed by a FRESH'Malcolm', then a FRESH'Killer Instinct'.
UPN fills the night with 'WWE Friday Night SmackDown!'.
PLEASE check local PBS listings for a FRESH'NOW With Bill Moyers David Brancaccio', the MOST IMPORTANT program on over-the-air-TV.
A&E has 'American Justice', followed by the movie 'Point Break', and the FRESH'Playboy's Celebrity Centerfolds'.
AMC offers the movie 'Solaris', followed by the movie 'Antwone Fisher', then 'Movies That Shook The World', followed by 'Movies 101', then the movie 'Tales From The Crypt'.
BBC -
[2pm] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - It's the Arts;
[2:40pm] 'My Family' - Farewell To Alarms;
[3:20pm] 'My Family' - Death Takes a Policy;
[4pm] 'At Home with the Braithwaites' - Episode 7;
[5pm] 'Monarch of the Glen' - Episode 3;
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'House Invaders' - Parkfields;
[7pm] 'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 12;
[8pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Cooke;
[9pm] 'My Family' - Episode 10;
[9:40pm] 'My Family' - Episode 11;
[10:20pm] 'Kumars at No. 42' - Minnie Driver;
[11pm] 'Creature Comforts' - Episode 1;
[11:30pm] 'Peep Show' - Episode 1;
[12am] 'Episode 2;
[12:30am] 'Episode 3;
[1am] 'My Family' - Episode 10;
[1:40am] 'My Family' - Episode 11;
[2:20am] 'Kumars at No. 42' - Minnie Driver;
[3am] 'The Young Ones' - Demolition;
[3:40am] 'The Young Ones' - Oil;
[4:20am] 'The Young Ones' - Boring;
[5am] 'Velvet Soup' - Episode 1;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'Inside The Actors Studio' (Elton John), 'Great Things About The Holidays', another 'Great Things About The Holidays', and yet another 'Great Things About The Holidays'.
Comedy Central has 'Comedy Central Presents', 'Reno 911!', last night's 'Jon Stewart', then the FRESH'Friday Night With Greg Giraldo'.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Pacific: The Lost Evidence', another 'Pacific: The Lost Evidence', and 'Heroes Under Fire'.
IFC -
[6AM] Safe (1995);
[8:15AM] Clockwatchers (1997);
[10AM] At The IFC Center #8(2005);
[10:30AM] Passion In The Desert(1998);
[12:15PM] Walking And Talking (1996);
[1:45PM] The Sum of Us (1994);
[3:45PM] IFC in Theaters(2005);
[4:15PM] Passion In The Desert(1998);
[6PM] The Festival #3 (2005);
[6:30PM] Walking And Talking (1996);
[8:15PM] Raising Arizona (1987);
[10PM] Hopeless Pictures #7 (2005);
[10:15PM] Greg the Bunny: "Sex, Button Eyes and a Video Ape" (2005);
[10:30PM] The Festival #4 (2005);
[11PM] Fall Time(1995);
[12:30AM] At The IFC Center (2005);
[1AM] Hopeless Pictures #7 (2005);
[1:15AM] Greg the Bunny: "Sex, Button Eyes and a Video Ape" (2005);
[1:30AM] The Festival #4 (2005);
[2AM] Fall Time(1995);
[3:30AM] At The IFC Center (2005);
[4AM] Hopeless Pictures #7 (2005);
[4:15AM] Greg the Bunny: "Sex, Button Eyes and a Video Ape" (2005);
[4:30AM] The Festival #4 (2005);
[5:30AM] At The IFC Center #8(2005). (ALL TIMES EST)
SciFi has the movie 'Stargate', followed by the movie 'The Abyss'.
Sundance -
[6:30AM] The Battle Of Algiers;
[8:35AM] I'm Going Home (Je Rentre a la Maison);
[10AM] My Babushka - Searching Ukrainian Identities;
[11AM] Oleanna;
[12:30PM] Particles of Truth;
[2:15PM] I'm Going Home (Je Rentre a la Maison);
[3:45PM] The Battle Of Algiers;
[6PM] TransGeneration: Episode 2;
[6:30PM] The PSA Project;
[7:05PM] Hermitage-niks: A Passion for the Hermitage: Episode 1 - A Glimmer in the Eye;
[7:30PM] The Umbrellas of Cherbourg;
[9PM] The Piano;
[11PM] Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers;
[11:30PM] I Am NOT an ANIMAL: Money;
[12AM] Repo Man;
[1:35AM] Sabbath Entertainment;
[2AM] Iconoclasts: Grazer on Redstone;
[3AM] Imagining Argentina;
[5AM] Repo Man. (ALL TIMES EST)
Lord Richard Attenborough holds the key to the the door of the Unicorn Theatre, Britain's first theatre purpose-built for children, for the first time in south London, Thursday Dec. 1, 2005. The copper-clad building on London's South Bank incorporates a 340-seat main auditorium, a 120-seat studio, and will play to more than 100,000 children each year.
Photo by Jane Mingay
What a short, strange trip it was. After the Grateful Dead angered some of its biggest fans by asking a nonprofit Web site to halt the free downloading of its concert recordings, the psychedelic jam band changed its mind Wednesday.
Internet Archive, a site that catalogues content on Web sites, reposted recordings of Grateful Dead concerts for download after the surviving members of the band decided to make them available again.
Band spokesman Dennis McNally said the group was swayed by the backlash from fans, who for decades have freely taped and traded the band's live performances.
In this photo provided by CBS, Oprah Winfrey returns to chat with David Letterman, 16 years after her previous visit on 'The Late Show with David Letterman,' Thursday, Dec. 1, 2005, in New York. Following the interview, Dave escorted Oprah across 53rd street to the opening of her new Broadway Show 'The Color Purple'.
Photo by Jeffrey R. Staab
So what, exactly, is this Lincoln Group that helped plant pro-American propaganda in the Iraqi press, a phenomenon that has made front-page news this week and has now been denounced by everyone from top military leaders to journalism ethicists? And what about its sub-contractor, BKSH & Associates?
The story starts with the Washington D.C.-based Lincoln Alliance Corporation, a "business intelligence company that also handles services related to commercial real estate in Iraq. It set up an offshoot called Iraqex last year, but its name was later changed to Lincoln Group.
A June 11, 2005, Washington Post article reported that the Pentagon had just awarded three contracts, potentially worth up to $300 million over five years (if the effort panned out), to three companies to handle "psychological operations" to improve foreign public opinion about the United States, particularly the military. The contract winners: Lincoln Group, Science Applications International Corporation, and SYColeman, Inc., a subsidiary of L-3 Communications.
NBC is making big changes to its prime-time lineup for Thursday - the night it used to own in the era of "must-see TV" - by instituting a two-hour comedy block led by "My Name Is Earl."
Banished from the night, and temporarily off the air entirely, is "Joey," the spinoff that lost all of the energy and most of the viewers from "Friends."
Starting January 5, NBC's new Thursday lineup will be "Will & Grace," in its final season; the new buddy comedy "Four Kings"; the strong freshman show "My Name Is Earl"; and "The Office."
"ER" will remain in its customary spot at 10 p.m. ET, NBC said.
What would a summer weekend on Martha's Vineyard be without water-skiing with the Kennedys? Fishing with designer Kenneth Cole? A game of poker with "Seinfeld" co-creator Larry David?
This and other seemingly priceless experiences went on sale Thursday in an online auction to benefit the Robert F. Kennedy Memorial, a human rights group named for the former U.S. senator and attorney general. His widow, Ethel Kennedy, and other family members organized the auction that will run through Dec. 16 on the Charity Folks Web site.
Fans of the popular ABC comedy "Desperate Housewives" can bid for a walk-on role on Wisteria Lane.
Former U.S. president Bill Clinton arrives at the 57th Bambi media award ceremony in the southern German town of Munich December 1, 2005. Every year, the German media company, Hubert Burda Media, honours celebrities from the world of entertainment, literature, sport and politics.
Photo by Michaela Rehle
"Alias" star Jennifer Garner has given birth to her first child, a daughter, with actor-husband Ben Affleck, US Weekly magazine reported on Thursday.
Us Weekly reported on its Web site that the birth came after doctors induced labor at a Los Angeles hospital on Wednesday night, a week before Garner's expected due date. The magazine quoted an unidentified friend of the couple as saying Affleck, 33, was with his spouse "the entire time."
A cell-phone call from convicted killer-turned-gang peace activist Stanley Tookie Williams interrupted a Los Angeles rally on his behalf attended by actor Jamie Foxx, rapper Snoop Dogg and dozens of students.
"Stan, it's Jamie! How are you, my brother?" Foxx, who once portrayed the death-row inmate, said into the receiver. He then held the phone to a microphone so Williams, scheduled to die by lethal injection Dec. 13, could address the crowd.
The event at the downtown library was one of several held around the state Wednesday to urge Gov. Arnold $chwarzenegger to spare Williams. The co-founder of the Crips street gang was convicted of murdering four people in 1979.
$chwarzenegger has scheduled a Dec. 8 meeting with prosecutors and lawyers for Williams, who are seeking clemency.
Jerry Stiller, center, touches costar Gary Valentine with Victor Williams at left as he accepts the award for Best Comedy for 'King of Queens' on CBS in the seventh annual Family Television Awards in Beverly Hills, Calif., Wednesday, Nov. 30, 2005. The awards, given by members of the Association of National Advertisers, recognize outstanding programming for family viewing.
Photo by Reed Saxon
Michael Irvin says he has been suspended by ESPN for one week for not telling the network about his arrest last week, when police found a drug pipe hidden in his car during a traffic stop.
Irvin, who has maintained that the pipe belonged to a friend, told The Associated Press on Thursday that he won't return to the air until Dec. 11. He was arrested Friday in Plano for an outstanding warrant on an unpaid speeding ticket but was charged with misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia after police searched his car.
ESPN did not learn of Irvin's arrest until reporters began calling the network Sunday night. Irvin said he didn't tell the network about his arrest because he was scared.
A unique manuscript by Ludwig van Beethoven that was lost for more than a century was sold at auction on Thursday for 1.13 million pounds to an anonymous buyer.
The final price was at the low end of the pre-sale estimates of up to 1.5 million pounds.
Discovered in July at the bottom of a dusty filing cabinet at a religious school in Philadelphia, the manuscript sold on Thursday is a work in progress for the Grosse Fuge in B flat major -- one of Beethoven's most revolutionary works.
A model of Cyberhand is seen next to a human hand in the ArtsLab laboratory of the Polo Sant'Anna Valdera institute in the central Italian town of Pontedera, Italy, in this photo taken Wednesday Oct. 26, 2005. For now, it is a computer that orders 'Cyberhand' to greet you at the robotics lab where researchers are creating the first prosthetic hand capable of eliciting natural sensory signals.
Photo by Fabio Muzzi
It was the shower hose that clinched it. A passage describing a male character's genitalia as "leaping around like a shower hose dropped in an empty bath" helped British food critic Giles Coren win the 13th annual Bad Sex in Fiction award Thursday for his debut novel, Winkler.
The prize, presented by Literary Review magazine, aims to "draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel."
Coren beat heavyweight competition, including Salman Rushdie's Shalimar the Clown, John Updike's Villages and Paul Theroux's Blinding Light.
Emily the cat is heading home, in style. The wayward tabby from Wisconsin who disappeared two months ago and wound up traveling across the Atlantic to France boarded a Continental Airlines flight Thursday - in business class.
Travel conditions leaving Europe promised to be a bit more comfortable for Emily, who arrived as a stowaway in a cargo container after straying from home in Appleton, Wis.
"I don't think she'll drink champagne but I think she will be happy to rest," said Continental spokesman Philippe Fleury, at Charles de Gaulle airport to see Emily off. The airline offered to fly the cat home from Paris after her tale spread around the world and she cleared a one-month quarantine.
The Obelisk of Buenos Aires is covered with a giant condom to commemorate World AIDS Day December 1, 2005. According to a report issued by ONUSIDA (UN AIDS), the number of people infected with the HIV virus in Latin America had risen over the last year from 1.6 to 1.8 million.
Photo by Enrique Marcarian
Rankings for the top 15 programs on basic cable networks as compiled by Nielsen Media Research for the week of Nov. 21-27. Day and start time (EDT) are in parentheses.
1. NFL Football: New Orleans vs. N.Y. Jets (Sunday, 8:28 p.m.), ESPN, 5.17 million homes, 6.78 million viewers.
2. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 10 p.m.), USA, 3.2 million homes, 4.53 million viewers.
3. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 9 p.m.), USA, 3.18 million homes, 4.5 million viewers.
4. "Law & Order" (Friday, 9 p.m.), TNT, 3.05 million homes, 3.94 million viewers.
5. Movie: "Win, Lose, Kaboom!" (Wednesday, 7 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.98 million homes, 4.26 million viewers.
6. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Wednesday, 6:30 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.9 million homes, 4.29 million viewers.
7. "Real World XVI" (Tuesday, 10 p.m.), MTV, 2.9 million homes, 3.75 million viewers.
8. Movie: "Win, Lose, Kaboom!" (Friday, 10 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.88 million homes, 4.01 million viewers.
9. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Monday, 5 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.86 million homes, 4.09 million viewers.
10. "Law & Order: SVU" (Saturday, 10 p.m.), USA, 2.83 million homes, 3.61 million viewers.
11. Movie: "The Lizzie McGuire Movie" (Saturday, 8 p.m.), Disney, 2.82 million homes, 4.08 million viewers.
12. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Sunday, 9:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.81 million homes, 3.95 million viewers.
13. "Drake & Josh" (Monday, 5:30 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.81 million homes, 3.75 million viewers.
14. Movie: "Holes" (Wednesday, 8 p.m.), Disney, 2.74 million homes, 3.96 million viewers.
15. "Law & Order" (Friday, 8 p.m.), TNT, 2.73 million homes, 3.41 million viewers.
Fanny McConnell Ellison, a writer, political activist and theatre director who helped edit her husband Ralph's masterpiece, Invisible Man, has died. She was 93.
The couple met through poet Langston Hughes, who set them up on a date after Fanny Ellison told him she wanted to meet a man who was interested in books. They were married from August 1946 until Ralph Ellison's death at 80 in April 1994. Her first marriage ended in divorce during the Second World War.
Fanny McConnell was born in 1911 in Louisville, Ky., and grew up in Colorado and in Chicago. She attended Fisk University and the University of Iowa, from which she graduated.
She moved to Chicago, where she founded the Negro People's Theater in 1938. She also wrote a column about politics as well as reviews and essays for the Chicago Defender.
She moved to New York from Washington, D.C., in 1943 to become assistant to the director of the National Urban League and met Ellison the next year. After the marriage, she worked for a charity supporting medical missionary work. She also typed the manuscript for Invisible Man, which Ellison wrote in longhand.
Actress Wendie Jo Sperber, who starred opposite Tom Hanks on TV's "Bosom Buddies" and who in his words became "a walking inspiration" after she contracted cancer, has died. She was in her 40s.
A Los Angeles native, Sperber appeared in dozens of television shows and movies, including all three "Back to the Future" films.
After being diagnosed with breast cancer in 1997, the actress became an advocate for cancer care. In 2001, she founded the weSPARK Cancer Support Center, which provides free emotional support, information and social activities for individuals and families affected by cancer.
Sperber is survived by a son and daughter, her parents, two sisters and a brother.
This photo provided by Busch Gardens Tampa Bay shows western lowland gorilla Kishina, 33, holding her male baby, Bolingo, at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay after a successful reintroduction Thursday, Dec. 1, 2005. Kishina delivered Bolingo on Nov. 18, via cesarean section after she was noted experiencing difficulties. Bolingo means 'Love' in Lingala, a language spoken in the Congo region of Africa where these endangered gorillas are found. Bolingo is the first gorilla born at the Tampa adventure park in its 46-year history. The birth brings the number of gorillas in the park's Myombe Reserve habitat to seven.
Photo by Tom Wagner
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