The ancient patriarch gathered his children to his deathbed and explained their inheritances to them.
"To you Bernard, the studious, I leave my money, all of it, to do with what you want. To you, Heimlich, the adventurer, I leave my land, in hopes you will finally make a proper home. And to you, Paco, I leave my most treasured possession, my luck."
"Your luck?" said Paco.
The patriarch pulled out a cheap plastic piece of junk jewelry and handed it to him. Paco said, "Hey pops, this is nothing but a cheap plastic piece of junk jewelry."
"Appearances are deceiving," said the patriarch. "Listen up."
"I owe everything to that amulet, my wealth and my health," he continued. "Without it, none of you would be getting anything. I used to be in great shape but had nothing. Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe, but in my twenties I didn't eat meat and I actually fasted for several weeks every January in order to clean out my system. Then I started eating meat, made a great fortune, and turned into the decrepit mess I am today. I blame Mississippi."
Why I'm Not a Vegetarian
I stuck out my thumb and got a ride right away, out of Memphis, across the border into Mississippi. The driver looked in his rearview mirror and said "You got any pot on you?"
Trick question. I had a couple joints hidden away where they'd never be found, inside a thermos I always kept filled with hot coffee. You'd have to pour out the coffee to find it. Did he want to get high? Was he a nark? Seemed a funny way to bust people, picking up hitchhikers and taking them to another state. All I could say was "Why?"
"I'm being followed by some undercover cops who've been after me for ages. They see a strange person in my car and I just know they're going to stop me. We're about to get searched."
I confessed that I had something rolled, but that it would be damn hard to find.
"Okay, listen, I'm going to let you out of the car at the next stop, then continue on and hope they don't stop me."
The next stop turned out to be a burger joint in the middle of nowhere. He dropped me in the parking lot with my suitcase, sleeping bag, and guitar. Before I could stick my thumb back out, a dark gray sedan pulled into the opposite end of the parking lot, and I could see that the passenger was actually looking at me through binoculars.
They were cops. He wasn't lying. I had to look normal. I had apparently asked to be dropped off, otherwise why was I here. It was nothing but a burger joint. Nothing else for miles. I could just sit there like an idiot, or I could do what it looked like I was expected to do. I went inside and ordered a burger. I sat in the window and ate it slowly while reading a book, keeping my eye on guy in the sedan who still had his eyes on me. Only when I had finished and wiped my mouth with a napkin did they take off. I had eaten meat for the first time in years, and it saved me from being rousted by Mississippi cops.
I waited another half hour, then went back to the road and stuck out my thumb. The first car that came along was the sedan. They pulled over and questioned me. Yeah, I was on my way to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. No, I didn't know anyone in Mississippi.
Then they asked the same question. "You got any pot on you?"
No way I was going to give them the same answer. "Why?" wouldn't have been the proper response. I pulled out my greatest acting ability, channeled Lee Strasberg, and said "Man, I'd have to be an idiot to hitchhike through Mississippi with pot on me." I didn't look like an idiot. I had actually been reading. A book.
"You're damn right, son," said the cop. "Tell you what, we can't let you keep hitchhiking here. You got enough money for a motel room?"
I did. They took me to a nearby motel where I checked in and spent the night. The next morning I stuck out my thumb again. Got to New Orleans the next day without any more problems.
"My favorite animal is steak." - Fran Lebowitz -
The Build-Up
One reason for getting to New Orleans early is that the parades start at least a week before Fat Tuesday. There's one or two, then five a day, then ten, building to the final day of non-stop neighborhood mini-parades leading to Canal Street where they merge into one giant parade.
I stayed in the house of a district attorney I'll call Paul but whose real name must remain secret for obvious reasons. Every Mardi Gras his front door would stay open and a giant bowl of ganja would sit on his living room table surrounded by rolling papers. It was non-stop party for two weeks. He knew the pastures to invade on cold winter mornings when there had been an overnight rain. We'd head across Lake Ponchartrain, sneak into a farm, and mosey around the cows looking for patties with mushrooms growing out of them. Bruise them a little and if they turned purple, you knew they were the kind. Just the right spice for homemade pizza.
People in New Orleans waited all year for one big blowout, and the city was full of used clothing stores where you would pick this year's costume. Only a lazy bastard would wear what he wore last year. I loaded up on strange clothes for the big day. Don't forget the fancy umbrella, useless for the rain but perfect for dancing down the middle of the street.
I checked out all the places I'd heard about, the Audubon Zoo (where they all asked for you) and the Vieux Carre, home of the world's best balconies. The streetcar line to Desire was changed to a bus line in 1948 so I was reduced to taking a bus named Desire.
I wallowed in all things Cajun, especially the music. Zydeco was something new that grabbed my legs and forced me to dance. I'd heard Dr. John but not the early stuff, Kon kon, the kiddy kon kon, Walk on Gilded Splinters, the dark authentic voodoo Dr. John. Bought a ticket to see him on Mardi Gras day. I'd been into Little Feat but now it was The Neville Brothers all the way. Saw them live with The Wild Tchoupitoulas, authentic Indians who only come out on Fat Tuesday, whose one and only album I must insist you buy immediately.
Wild Tchoupitoulas, Mardi Gras, mid '70s
I had already mastered Scott Joplin, and I actually had the nerve to play the Maple Leaf Rag on the piano at the Maple Leaf Bar to a crowd of drunks who have hopefully forgotten. I had always considered him the heart of American musical culture when Van Dyke Parks told me about the man who influenced Joplin, the man ragtime actually came from, Louis Moreau Gottschalk, the very first American composer (other than Benjamin Franklin), born in 1829 to a Creole Indian mother and Jewish German sailor father. Gottschalk mastered the piano early, moved to France to study with Liszt, came back and toured the south doing solo piano concerts for union soldiers during the Civil War. Why Hollywood hasn't made a movie about him I'll never know, but allow me to mention that his Souvenir de Puerto Rico, full of African/Caribbean influence, is my favorite piece of piano music of all time, and if you want to know where it all came from, you better give it a listen.
Fat Tuesday
Okay, we all know that Ash Wednesday is the day all good Christians stop sinning and repent their evil ways. Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras day, is the day before Ash Wednesday, when all good Christians invite the world to join them in committing all the sins that will be forbidden to them the next day. The world's shortest list is the one of all the sins that aren't committed on Mardi Gras day. This is what all Mardi Gras around the world have in common.
But there's a back story that makes the one in New Orleans unique, and you need to hear it in order to understand why the cheap piece of crap plastic jewelry pictured below is one of my proudest possessions. This is the history as I understand it. The annual Mardi Gras in New Orleans is much more than a chance to blow off steam before lent.
Like most major metropolitan areas, New Orleans was divided between rich and poor. The city is shaped like a U, the outer edges being the rich parts, the Vieux Carre and the Garden District, with the ghetto in the middle, literally blocks away. You can stand on Canal Street and stare at the grandest southern mansions ever built, then walk one block east and find yourself in the deepest poverty. I was sincerely warned by my friend the district attorney that I'd be taking my life in my hands if I wandered too far from civilization. According him, the entire inner city was populated by blacks too stupid to leave.
Centuries ago, the rich people in town took it upon themselves to ride their horses through the ghetto once a year and throw coins and jewelry to the poor who would gather by the side of the road. This was their version of charity.
The poor would line the streets in hopes of receiving a token of mercy, and they quickly learned a lesson. The goal in attending one of these "parades" of benevolent rich people was to GET THE ATTENTION of the riders with the moolah. If you were a rich person riding your fancy horse through the rabble, whom would you throw a coin to, people just standing there going "me me me," or someone dressed like a peacock holding a giant basket with a bullseye painted on it? Something as simple as flashing your tits was enough of an attention grabber to get the guy on the horse to make a donation to your cause. The first patrician to throw a coin at a flamboyant reveler holding a homemade target was responsible for the tradition of observers showing up at Mardi Gras parades looking as outlandish as possible.
Unlike other parades, such as the Rose Parade and other local patriotic affairs, the Mardi Gras represents a give-and-take. Though the booty has been reduced from real jewels and coins and coconuts to plastic imitations, nobody goes to a Mardi Gras parade just to watch - the object is to get something to prove you were there. Each Krewe minted it's own individual coins, the Krewe of Bacchus, the Krewe of Craw, one Krewe for each parade. Showing up anywhere else on earth covered in cheap plastic jewelry would be considered pretty goddam embarrassing, but not in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, where a neck covered in hideous purple and gold novelty crap was a badge of honor showing how many parades you attended.
The parades in New Orleans aren't something you park yourself on the sidewalk to watch, you go there dressed as outrageously as possible so that someone on the float will throw something at you. Chances are you won't catch it so...
RULE #1: If it hits the ground, do not, under any circumstances, simply pick it up. That's a surefire recipe for getting your hand trampled by a boot. If it's on the ground and you want it, stomp on it, then retrieve it from under your shoe.
If you dream of someday riding on a Mardi Gras float, keep dreaming. Mardi Gras Krewes like Bacchus are as closed as Skull and Bones. Each parade leads to a private party where they change into tuxedos and evening gowns. You are very much not invited. Every year they announce someone who gets to be the honorary king of the festival, and even though they're usually B-level Hollywood celebrities, I'm always jealous because being made honorary king of the festival is just about the only goddam way that a non-insider can actually get to ride on a float.
Once the Mardi Gras transformed from a mini-act of charity to a full-fledged, world-renowned festival, the black community put together their own parade, not a snotty group of whites who deigned to travel through the ghetto once a year, but a genuine celebration of everything non-white, FROM the ghetto. The marching bands would play real music, not that John Philip Sousa crap. There would be flambeauxs and dancers who actually had rhythm. The map of the parade route would NOT be printed in the paper. It would start in the ghetto and the leader of the parade, with his giant marching stick, would decide at each intersection what direction to go in. There was no way of knowing where to find them. It was the Zulu Parade, reputed to be the best parade on earth, by blacks for blacks, and if you were white and wanted to see it, you'd just have march into the ghetto on Mardi Gras day and try to find it.
I had a girlfriend who lived with her parents. One day her father took me to his office and showed me his pride and joy, shelf after shelf of binders holding his Mardi Gras coin collection. They were arranged by year and covered decades. He pulled down a book and showed me the mint condition coins, one from each parade, like any fine coin collection, each page with plastic so you could see both sides of every coin. Every year he attended as many parades as possible, then swapped with other collectors to complete the collection. I spent an hour going through them. Many were incredibly beautiful, and some of the older ones were actual coins, not just plastic.
He had Zulu coins, which he said were the rarest. He had to trade for them with other collectors. He had never actually found the Zulu Parade himself.
Amulets and coins from other parades may have been fun collectors items, but they weren't gris-gris, imbued with mystical voodoo power like the amulets from Zulu. White people wearing a Zulu amulet during the Mardi Gras were gazed upon with awe. Man, I had just hitchhiked through Mississippi with a bag of dope, actually got stopped by the cops, and didn't get caught. Weren't no paranoid delusions of potentially getting beaten to a bloody pulp going to stop me from seeing the goddam Zulu Parade.
Mardi Gras morning I got up, gobbled some mushrooms, watched a bit of the local parade, then marched into mid-city in search of Zulu.
The rumors were right. I was the only white person for block after block. I searched for an hour then heard a sound down a narrow street that could only be a marching band. I ran down the block and there it was, the Zulu Parade, hundreds crowding the sidewalk as it went by, first a marching band playing a soul tune, not just marching, dancing up a storm, surrounded by flambeaux, flaming torches that whirled and flew, everyone dancing, drinking, me too, it remains the best parade I've ever seen.
Those on the floats were throwing gris-gris but none reached me. Then there was a glitch down the road and the parade stopped with a float right in front of me. People on floats would point at the person they were aiming at, then throw at them till they caught it. The crowd was reaching up, crying "ME! ME" as the coins and beads flew through the air to the outstretched hands. Finally, as the glitch stretched into minutes, the crowd was sated and I was the only one going "ME! ME!" I was the only white face in the crowd. No one would throw me a coin. Ten minutes went by and I knew it was futile.
Then I noticed a phenomenon. People would run up to a float and hand the riders something, a six-pack of beer, anything, just a gift, and they'd be rewarded with a handful of stuff. I had my Polaroid camera. I figured if I was in the parade, I'd like a nice Polaroid of me on the float. I took a shot, waited for it to develop, then pushed my way through the crowd to the still stationary float.
I pointed to one of the masked riders and waved the photo at him. He leaned down, grabbed it, and his jaw dropped. It was just what he wanted. He pointed at ME, emphatically, clutched a handful of beads and coins and threw them. So many black hands appeared between me and the float that I didn't get a single one. The guy on the float saw what happened and pointed to me again. He became as determined as I was to get myself a coin, but before he could throw a second time, the glitch got fixed and the parade took off. I ran down the center of the street, he kept throwing, and I kept missing as the crowd gathered around me. Finally I grabbed ahold of the float and hung on for dear life, dragged down the street, refusing to let go until I got my due.
The rider saw what was happening, leaned over the edge of the float, and actually placed one right in my hands. We saluted each other, I let go of the float, and the parade continued down the street.
I looked around. I was in the center of Canal Street, surrounded by barricades with thousands of people pushing towards me, precisely where I didn't belong. The police grabbed me and threw me out of the street, over a barricade and into a crowd, but I didn't care. I got what I came for.
And here it is, the symbol of my psychedelic youth, a white boy in blackland, drunk, stoned, flying high, an endless celebration.
I headed to Dr. John, whose concert ended as he opened the stage doors on both sides and let the passing parade through one and out the other, then invited us to join in. Nobody left that theater through the lobby. We all jumped on stage and paraded out into the street with the doctor.
"That's some story," said Paco.
"Yep," said the patriarch.
"So Bernard gets all the money?" said Paco.
"Yep," said the patriarch.
"And Heimlich gets all the land? said Paco.
"Yep," said the patriarch.
"And all I get is this Zulu amulet?" said Paco.
"Yep," said the patriarch, who promptly kicked a bucket that was conveniently placed at the foot of the bed.
Paco put on the Zulu amulet and headed to an audition he had that afternoon for a small part in a Fox sitcom about a white middle-class family who take in a pair of New Orleans flood refugees who turn out to be non-stop Mardi-Gras party animals. The producers weren't very happy with his line reading, but just as he was leaving the sound stage, the casting director, who was from New Orleans, noticed the Zulu amulet around Paco's neck.
"Where did you get that?" asked the casting director.
Paco told him the whole story, ended up the star of the sitcom, and next year was made King of the Mardi Gras.
Bush Nominates Zombie Rehnquist to the Supreme Court
"We're sticking him in the freezer. Just because he's dead doesn't mean he wouldn't make a fine Supreme Court Justice," said president Monkeybananas. "His brain was already frozen when he was the fifth vote that make me preznit, so I don't see why he can't still rule just because he's cryogenically impaired," said Monkeybananas. "As a matter of fact I'm making Rehnquist the all time eternal chief justice of the Supreme Court from now until I say different, cause since he's dead, he now speaks through me, just like Jesus does."
Jesus Christ wasn't available for comment, but we did get his answer machine...
"Hi, this is Jesus. I'm not in right now, but if you leave a message, I'll not only get it, I'll twist it out of shape until it barely resembles what you originally said. Just like they did to me." [BEEP]
Musical News
Take Me Out of Gaza
(to the tune of Take Me to the River)
Don't know why
You move me like I do
You're an Israeli soldier
and I am a Jew
I don't know why
You treat me so bad
Think of all the nachus
We could have had
I want to know
can you tell me
I'd really like to stay
Still you...
Take me out of Gaza
Read me from the Torah
Wrap me in a shmata
For the intifata
Fill me full of tsuris
Mollify the tourists
in Palestine
in Palestine
no longer mine
Stupid Answers of the Week
Last week's question...
What mistakes have I made? Please be cruel. I'm your punching bag of the week.
Actually, since you gave me top billing in the answers to #164's question, I'm gonna paste a Bush-level smirk on my egotistical face and confidently assert you have MADE NO MISTAKES WHATSOEVER. Keep doing exactly what you're doing, it's and all. - Jimmy McConnell
Concerning last week's quote: "We have only to remove those who oppose us." - Sauron: Lord of the Rings II - The TwoTowers
Saruman!
Sauron was the huge flaming eye.
Tolkien broke a cardinal rule by having two villains with such similar names, not only starting with the same letter but also sounding so much alike.
- Jeff
Giving a flying fuck. Sometimes, my good sir, you are too damned romantic for your own good. And, btw: Keep it up. Sometimes, I get mired in my own cynicism...
- james and Katherine Allard
And on a more personal note...
You picked the wrong parents - you could be rich or handsome or both. - John Zutz, Milwaukee
Does poor choices in girlfriends count as mistakes? - XXX OOO
By golly you're right. From now on, better parents and only fabulous girlfriends.
Stupid Questions of the Week
According to the White House press office (quoted below), neither Bush nor anyone in his cabinet has ever been asked why the Bush twins haven't volunteered to serve in Iraq. I'd make that number one of the questions I'd like to ask him on national television, and I'm sure you can think of lots more.
Though that opportunity has little chance of arising, another one shows promise. I've been contacted by the makers of a documentary film who are going to get a chance to interview on camera many of the fundamentalist Christian leaders we've grown to know and love, and they're looking for questions. "In Deuteronomy 21:10-14, God gives regulations for using beautiful virgins as war booty for victorious warriors. Should we be following his instructions in Iraq?" is a good one. How about "If God created just Adam & Eve, where did all the people in the land of Nod come from?" or "Knowing that Woman would be tempted by the Apple why didn't God plant Brussels Sprouts instead?" The bible describes homosexuality as an abomination. It also describes eating shellfish as an abomination.
Send your questions here and who knows, maybe you'll actually get to see Pat Robertson try to answer it.
Special Offer for New Orleans Refugees
Find one of these original Barq's root beer
bottles floating by and I'll give you five bucks for it.
(Clean it off first.)
The Unfeeling President
by E.L. Doctorow
I fault this president for not knowing what death is.
He does not suffer the death of our twenty-one year olds who wanted to be what they could be.
On the eve of D-day in 1944 General Eisenhower prayed to God for the lives of the young soldiers he knew were going to die. He knew what death was. Even in a justifiable war, a war not of choice but of necessity, a war of survival, the cost was almost more than Eisenhower could bear.
But this president does not know what death is. He hasn't the mind for it. You see him joking with the press, peering under the table for the WMDs he can't seem to find, you see him at rallies strutting up to the stage in shirt sleeves to the roar of the carefully screened crowd, smiling and waving, triumphal, a he-man. He does not mourn. He doesn't understand why he should mourn. He is satisfied during the course of a speech written for him to look solemn for a moment and speak of the brave young Americans who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country.
But you study him, you look into his eyes and know he dissembles an emotion which he does not feel in the depths of his being because he has no capacity for it. He does not feel a personal responsibility for the thousand dead young men and women who wanted be what they could be.
They come to his desk not as youngsters with mothers and fathers or wives and children who will suffer to the end of their days a terribly torn fabric of familial relationships and the inconsolable remembrance of aborted life.... They come to his desk as a political liability which is why the press is not permitted to photograph the arrival of their coffins from Iraq.
How then can he mourn? To mourn is to express regret and he regrets nothing. He does not regret that his reason for going to war was, as he knew, unsubstantiated by the facts. He does not regret that his bungled plan for the war's aftermath has made of his mission-accomplished a disaster. He does not regret that rather than controlling terrorism his war in Iraq has licensed it.
So he never mourns for the dead and crippled youngsters who have fought this war of his choice. He wanted to go to war and he did. He had not the mind to perceive the costs of war, or to listen to those who knew those costs. He did not understand that you do not go to war when it is one of the options, but when it is the only option; you go not because you want to but because you have to.
"Let me make this clear: Everything which has happened as the result of Hurricane Katrina is my fault. Mine. Alone. No one else's. Stop wasting energy pointing fingers and put your hands to work helping out. It was me. Got it?
"I was a United States Senator from Louisiana in 2001 when the levee at Lake Pontchartrain was declared unsafe and I didn't have enough clout with my Senatorial brethren to get sufficient money appropriated to fix it. It was my fault.
"Notwithstanding my failure on that front, according to wire services: "In a telephone interview with reporters, corps officials said that the levees near Lake Pontchartrain that gave way were completed and in good condition before the hurricane. "However, they noted that the levees were designed for a Category 3 hurricane and couldn't handle the ferocious winds and raging waters from Hurricane Katrina, a Category 4 storm when it hit the coastline. The decision to build levees for a Category 3 hurricane was made based on a cost-benefit analysis in the 1960s. "
"Oh. I almost forgot. I was the Commander-in-Chief of all United States Armed Forces in the 1960s which includes the Corps of Engineers. The cost-benefit analysis? My fault.
"It is my fault that, as the Governor of Louisiana, I didn't foresee the need to have enough Louisiana National Guard troops - the vast majority of whom are NOT currently in Iraq, or Afghanistan or, for that matter, Indiana - pre-positioned and ready to preserve order.
"I, frankly, forgot that there is a portion of the population which will steal anything from anyone given any opportunity and then will blame it on me because I didn't - in spite of ample warnings by sociologists from large Eastern Universities - foresee the need to have 27" flat-screen television sets available to every family in the New Orleans city limits as soon as the electricity went out. That one WAS my bad.
"It is my fault that, as Mayor of New Orleans, I was boogying down Bourbon Street the night before the hurricane hit rather than being where I should have been - on the roof of the Superdome pounding in extra nails to hold the roof on.
"As the architect of the Superdome, it was my fault for claiming that the Dome could survive 200 mile-per-hour winds. It couldn't even handle a relatively gentle160 mile-per-hour zephyr. Strap me to my drafting table and set me adrift.
"Global warming? My fault. Despite the fact that nearly every serious climatologist in America has stated over and over again that there is no clear evidence tying human-generated greenhouse gasses to global warming, and even if there were, there is no evidence tying global warming to hurricanes in the Atlantic basin, I was opposed to the Kyoto treaty and so it is my fault.
"It is also my fault that during the administration of Bill Clinton, the US Senate rejected the terms of the Kyoto protocols by a vote of 95-0. That would be zero, zilch, nada, nil, bupkis.
"As the Grand Poohbah in Charge of all TV Coverage, it is my fault that there is constant video of looters and almost none of humanitarian activities. I am the person who issued the statement: "No more rescue footage UNLESS the person rescued complains about how long they had to wait or, if he shoots at the rescuers."
"And, finally, as Chairman of the National Association of Gasoline Producers it is my fault that I had the bad judgment to put so much of my drilling, refining and transportation assets in a hurricane-prone area like the Caribbean basin. WhatwasIthinking?
"If I could re-do that whole thing, I would have put all that equipment in Lake Erie and Lake Michigan. There may not be any oil there, but hurricanes are very rare.
"So. There you have it. Everything that has happened is my fault.
"BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends."
- Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary -
"I've always relied on the kindness of strangers."
- Blanche DuBois -
"The downside of being the Big Easy is that visitors feel encouraged to show you a side of themselves you'd rather not see, the blithering drunkenness and bare-breasted ladies and plastic gewgaws of Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras. You don't have to be Baptist to find the company of drunks discouraging and New Orleans is a Mecca for alcoholics. Big Easiness, however, is not conducive to good government and the city hasn't gotten much of that. There are large sections of town where the tourist is warned never to set foot. The schools are wretched and services are lousy and in a high-water-table city where even high ground is low and low ground is below sea level, the flood control system wasn't ever more than modestly adequate, and so last week the Big Easy got to know George Bush.
"You don't have to be drunk to be stupid. Here was a patronage appointee, the pal of a pal, in charge of the federal response to Katrina and he sat and waited to see what would happen and when it happened, he froze. As Mr. Bush said, he had no idea that the levees wouldn't hold. Truly. It's not how we used to do things, back when there was a sense of shame attached to government incompetence that costs lives, but it's different in America these days. Don't ever get in trouble, is my advice. Head upriver and look for high ground."
"Keillor would 'rather not see... bare-breasted ladies.' What does he have in common with Smithers? I smell a rumor coming on."
- Random Bastard -
"'They killed a man here last night,' Steve Banka, 28, told Reuters. 'A young lady was being raped and stabbed. And the sounds of her screaming got to this man and so he ran out into the street to get help from troops, to try to flag down a passing truck of them, and he jumped up on the truck's windshield and they shot him dead.'
"Wade Batiste, 48, recounted another tale of horror.
"'Last night at 8 p.m. they shot a kid of just 16. He was just crossing the street. They ran him over, the New Orleans police did, and then they got out of the car and shot him in the head,' Batiste said."
"This man does not deserve his job. He is a failure. His complete lack of empathy, his utter clueless incompetence, and his imperial hubris make him unfit to command the fry station at a McDonalds. His complete cluster fuck of the country of Iraq is debatable - in some fringe realm of neocon reality, it's debatable. But with New Orleans, there can be no debate. The Federal government, under his 'leadership,' has failed to deal with the crisis in Louisiana and Mississippi. Failed. Utterly. Miserably. At the cost of God knows how many lives. How many people will be buried, uncounted, in mass graves and thus save this man from having that number tattooed forever upon his forehead?
"And do you know why this happened? Neither do I! Neither does anyone else!
"There is no reason for this. Come on! We are the US of fucking-A. We are America. One company, Federal Express, could handle the disaster relief far better than what is being done now. But no one has asked them to step in. The US Postal service could be delivering food, water, and supplies to every neighborhood hit by the hurricane - but no one has asked them to do it.
"This is the president's job. It's his job to go on television and ask for people to step up, ask people to make sacrifices, don't drive unless you have to, don't run your air conditioners unless you have to, stay home, telecommute, conserve, sacrifice for this crisis. It's his job to ask companies to eat the cost of feeding and housing the hundreds of thousands of refugees. Every hotel from the Gulf of Mexico to San Antonio, St. Louis and Miami ought to have its doors open to refugees to stay free of charge. Three squares and a bed - send Washington the bill later. We have umpteen million hotel beds in this country - there is NO REASON that people should be sleeping in the Astrodome.
"There is so much that can be done with a FUCKING PHONE CALL when you are the president of the United States. What the hell is he doing? Where the hell is the help? There's nothing you can do about a hurricane. People who couldn't get out of the way are going to die. But afterwards!!! ---- every single uninjured person who dies as a result of neglect should add 20 years to the jail sentence of George W. Bush. His failure to act is criminally incompetent. He is responsible. He should be held responsible.
"He should resign today. He has provided ZERO leadership so far - he won't be missed. At least then, everyone else, from mayors to governors to National Guard commanders, could begin to act on their own initiative and something might actually get done to help these people."
"There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty." - John Adams -
"He that undervalues himself will undervalue others, and he that undervalues others will oppress them."
- Samuel Johnson -
"No one asked me to volunteer."
- Homer Simpson -
"I just need enough to tide me over until I need more." - Bill Hoest -
"There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them." - Terry Pratchett -
"As punishment for my contempt for authority, Fate has made me an authority myself."
- Albert Einstein -
"Members of the Iraqi National Assembly are still struggling to come to an agreement on how the country's new constitution should handle a controversial issue: gay marriage. The delay in completing a constitution for Iraq comes as a blow to the Bush Administration which went into Iraq more than two years ago in order to defend traditional marriage."
"The conquest of Iraq by seizing command of the skies and seas, surrounding her and outgunning this lumbering warship of a country with broadsides represents the capture of a trophy ship by a buccaneer. The treasure beneath the sands of Iraq black gold in the form of billions of barrels of oil--exceeds in value all the gold from all the fleets of Spanish galleons that ever sailed. Seen from the perspective of a 17th century buccaneer, the Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld foreign policy of plundering countries on the high seas makes good economic sense. All that is lacking is legality and a suitable pirate banner...
"Will we Americans simply be remembered by the world as just another band of pirates? Bigger but no better? Toward the end of the Golden Age of Pirates, the repercussions of resentment by land dwellers eventually overtook most of these buccaneers; those not killed in battle were captured and hung. Bartholomew Roberts, killed in 1722. Blackbeard 1718. Captain Kidd, hung by the neck and then allowed to rot, in 1701. The difference between pirates and those who play at being pirates is that the swashbuckler risked his own neck. Antony Sutton said of the modern pretender: 'These prominent men are really immature juveniles at heart. The horrible reality is that these little boys have been dominant in world affairs. No wonder we have wars and violence.'"
"Is a tolerant society one in which you tolerate absurdities, iniquities and injustices simply because they are being perpetrated by or in the name of a religion and out of a desire not to rock the boat you pass no comment or criticism? Or is a tolerant society one where, in the name of freedom, the tolerance that is promoted is the tolerance of occasionally hearing things you don't want to hear. Of reading things you don't want to read. Where it is encouraged to question, to criticize and if necessary to ridicule any ideas and ideals and then the holders of those ideals have an equal right to counter-criticize, to counter-argue and to make their case. That is my idea of a tolerant society - an open and vigorous one, not one that is closed and stifled in some contrived notion of correctness... "To criticize people for their race is manifestly irrational but to criticize their religion, that is a right. That is a freedom. The freedom to criticize ideas - any ideas - even if they are sincerely held beliefs - is one of the fundamental freedoms of society and a law which attempts to say you can criticize or ridicule ideas as long as they are not religious ideas is a very peculiar law indeed. It promotes the idea that there should be a right not to be offended, when in my view, the right to offend is far more important than any right not to be offended, simply because one represents openness, the other represents oppression...
"I then found my self asking a strange question. What is wrong with encouraging intense dislike of a religion? Why shouldn't you do that, if the beliefs of that religion or the activities perpetrated in its name deserve to be intensely disliked? What if the teaching or beliefs of the religion are so out-moded, hypocritical and hateful that not expressing criticism of them would be perverse? The government claim that one would be allowed to say what you like about beliefs because the measure is not intended to defend beliefs but believers. But I don't see how you can distinguish between them. Beliefs are only invested with life and meaning by believers. If you attack beliefs, you are automatically attacking those who believe the beliefs. You wouldn't need to criticize the beliefs if no-one believed them."
"This week, the liberal Web site buzzflash.com noted in an unsigned editorial that 'not one -- not one - of any of Bush's children or his nieces and nephews have volunteered for service in any branch of the military or volunteered to serve in any capacity in Iraq. Not one of them has felt the cause was noble enough to put his or her life on the line.'
"Buzzflash is circulating a petitiondemanding that 'Either the Bush Kids Put Their Lives on the Line for George's 'Noble War' or the Troops Come Home.'
"Publicity stunt or not, it does raise a question. If the sacrifice is so noble, has the president urged his own children, or enlistment-age nieces and nephews - of which there are eight - to join the military and fight in Iraq?
"I called the White House to pose this question and was somewhat surprised to learn that none of the supposed liberal baddies in the White House press corps had ever asked the president or any of his spokespersons that question.
"Spokeswoman Dana Perino couldn't find that this question had ever been asked."
"There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go."
- Richard Bach -
"Through loyalty to the past, our mind refuses to realize that tomorrow's joy is possible only if today's makes way for it; that each wave owes the beauty of its line only to the withdrawal of the preceding one."
- Andre Gide -
"This itself is the whole of the journey, opening your heart to that which is lovely."
- Samyutta Nikaya -
"Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting." - John Russell -
"If you'll be my dixie chicken
I'll be your Tennessee lamb
And we can walk together
Down in Dixieland."
- Little Feat -
Thus ends our transmission. Disinfotainment Today returns control of your computer to you until next time.
Norman Solomon: Beyond the "Vietnam Syndrome" (inthesetimes.com)
A year after the invasion of Iraq began, Noam Chomsky observed: "Polls have demonstrated time and time again that Americans are willing to accept a high death toll-although they don't like it, they're willing to accept it-if they think it's a just cause. There's never been anything like the so-called Vietnam syndrome: it's mostly a fabrication."
Lisa Rosetta: Frustrated: Fire crews to hand out fliers for FEMA (The Salt Lake Tribune)
ATLANTA - Not long after some 1,000 firefighters sat down for eight hours of training, the whispering began: "What are we doing here?" ... "There are all of these guys with all of this training and we're sending them out to hand out a phone number," an Oregon firefighter said. "They [the hurricane victims] are screaming for help and this day [of FEMA training] was a waste."
Dr. Fidel Castro Ruz, President of the Republic of Cuba, Offered Aid to U.S.
... I ... explicitly offered the United States to send a medical force with the necessary means to offer emergency assistance to the tens of thousands of Americans trapped in the flooded areas and the ruins Katrina left behind after lashing Louisiana and other southern states.
Lexis-Nexis, the world's largest news database, with more than 4,000 sources in the United States and around the world
has created a special FREE portal that opens the gates to all of the
coverage of Hurricane Katrina (www.lexisnexis.com/news/) and the recovery operation in its databank.
You can find reporting from most of the regional papers in the hurricane region, including The Advocate in Baton Rouge, Lousiana, the Sun Herald in Biloxi, Mississippi and the Houston Chronicle, which is reporting daily on the New Orleans refugees who have been relocated to the city.
Our train pulled into Salzburg on a warm spring day. We hoisted backpacks and sorted through the various offers of lodging which were offered. "You are American? I get you tickets for Sound of Music Tour for free." I instantly knew how a black person felt when someone tells them they look like Ice Cube. In the City of Mozart, Americans are steered to remedial music education for morons.
The Sound of Music is no doubt one of the most beloved movies of all times-especially among young girls and women. It's got everything: Handsome rich bachelors, cute children and daring escapes from the clutches of Nazis. Julie Andrews, a nun, is the paragon of Teutonic virtue, only surrendering to the inevitable.
There is, however, a very dark side which is only hinted at in the movie. The Nazis wanted Georg von Trapp as a submarine captain. This was true. The reasons for his refusal however are somewhat romanticized in the movie.
Von Trapp was a U-boat commander in WWI--but for Austria-Hungary, not Germany. He was, in fact, the only Austrian U-boat commander to sink an American ship in WWI. Remember that during WWI, Austria (now landlocked) had an extensive Adriatic coast.
Von Trapp was an Austrian patriot-that much is not disputed. He was a leader in the far right of Austrian politics. The Austrian right was a cesspool of Austrian nationalism, monarchical restorationists and anti-Semites. Von Trapp had hoped to bring them together to keep the Germans out of Austria and in fact invited them to his castle for a long retreat. He failed.
He was also failing financially. Like many Austrian nobles, he lost his gravy train when the Habsburgs were driven out of the Hoffburg. He had married Maria (played ably in the movie by Julie Andrews (who went topless in S.O.B.) long before he thought of leaving Austria, and the decision was not so much how to flee the Germans but whether to take the Germans up on their commission or try to make a living as a singing group. Mortgaged to the hilt, the Von Trapps walked to the train station at the edge of their estate and got on a train to Italy and then a steamer to America, where they took up their singing career and Maria Von Trapp started writing a BS autobiography of the family.
Now, in imparting this information to you I will give you a warning. Bursting the bubble of this treacle-sweet nausea-fest at a dinner party comprised of mixed company has the effect of dropping the Santa-bomb in a kindergarten classroom. There are some fantasies that some people cherish and hate to have tarnished. The Sound of Music is one of these fantasies. If you love the truth more than you mind hearing a grown woman sob and say, "I don't know why you have to ruin a movie that I have loved since I was a child," by all means let fly. You have been warned. The movie itself seems to me to be the female equivalent of "Brian's Song:" goofy-sweat, somewhat sacred to people's young memory, and probably not true.
We did not, of course, do the Sound of Music tour. We visited the somewhat less corny though more musically pleasing Mozart sites. Some of you may say that the Austrians are truly proud of the Von Trapps and that they steer all tourists (not just Americans) toward the Sound of Music Tour. Perhaps, but I got on much better after I read the hockey scores each day and pretended to be a Canadian.
Back in 1973 I did take 'The Sound of Music Tour' in Salzburg and have the pictures to prove it. But, that's for another night. ~Marty
BBC News had Uncle Karen spinning tonight. Of course, she equated Hurricane Katrina and 9/11.
Between the telethon/concert and time zones, tonight's cable TV listings are likely to be inaccurate.
Tonight, Friday:
CBS begins the night with the LIVE'Shelter From The Storm: A Concert For The Gulf Coast' (tape-delayed & edited on the left coast), followed by the FRESH (but pre-taped) 'Fashion Rocks'.
Scheduled on a FRESHDave are D.L. Hughley, Jamie Oliver, and Weezer.
On a RERUNCraig (from 7/25/05) are Eddie Izzard, James Woolsey, and Elkland.
NBC starts the night with the LIVE'Shelter From The Storm: A Concert For The Gulf Coast' (tape-delayed & edited on the left coast), followed by 'Dateline', then a FRESH 'special' - 'Tom Brokaw Reports: In God They Trust'.
On a RERUNLeno are David Spade, Lake Bell, and Hope Barlow.
Scheduled on a FRESHConan are Michael Rapaport and Brian Regan
On a RERUNCarson Daly (from 7/22/05) are Vince Vaughn, Rob Zombie, Kevin Brennan, and Ying Yang Twins
ABC opens the night with the LIVE'Shelter From The Storm: A Concert For The Gulf Coast' (tape-delayed & edited on the left coast), followed by a RERUN'Hope & Faith', then a RERUN'Less Than Perfect', then the SEASON PREMIERE'20/20'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Kimmel are Laura Linney, Michael McKean, and Trapt.
The WB offers the LIVE'Shelter From The Storm: A Concert For The Gulf Coast' (tape-delayed & edited on the left coast), followed by a RERUN'Reba', then a RERUN'Less Than Perfect'.
Faux has the LIVE'Shelter From The Storm: A Concert For The Gulf Coast' (tape-delayed & edited on the left coast), followed by a RERUN of last night's 'Reunion' pilot.
UPN fills the night with the SEASON PREMIERE'WWE Friday Night SmackDown!'.
PLEASE check local PBS listings for a FRESH'NOW With Bill Moyers David Brancaccio', the MOST IMPORTANT program on over-the-air-TV.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Biography' (Andre The Giant), 'Investigative Reports', and another 'Biography'.
AMC offers the movie 'Volcano', followed by the movie 'Solaris', then the movie 'Scream 2'.
BBC -
[2pm] 'I'm Alan Partridge' - Episode 2;
[2:40pm] 'Coupling' - The Man With Two Legs;
[3:20pm] 'Blackadder' - Plan C-Major Star;
[4pm] 'Jonathan Creek' - The Reconstituted Corpse;
[5pm] 'Monarch of the Glen' - Episode 4;
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - McCann;
[7pm] 'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 10;
[8pm] 'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 2;
[9pm] 'My Family' - Misery;
[9:40pm] 'My Family '- Auto Erotica;
[10:20pm] 'Little Britain' - Episode 4;
[11pm] 'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 10;
[12am] 'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 2;
[1am] 'My Family' - Misery;
[1:40am] 'My Family' - Auto Erotica;
[2:20am] 'Little Britain' - Episode 4;
[3am] 'The Benny Hill Show' - Episode 2;
[4am] 'My Family' - Misery;
[4:40am] 'My Family' - Auto Erotica;
[5:20am] 'Little Britain' - Episode 4;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has a FRESH'Situation: Comedy', 'Elton John At Radio City', and the movie 'Waterworld'.
Comedy Central has 'Distraction', 'Comedy Central Presents', last night's 'Jon Stewart', 'Comedy Central Presents' (Dwayne Perkins), another 'Comedy Central Presents' (Dat Phan), still another 'Comedy Central Presents' (Jimmy Dore), 'Marc Maron', and another 'Comedy Central Presents' (Vic Henley).
HBO has a FRESH'Real Time with Bill Maher' - scheduled guests include Kurt Vonnegut, George Carlin, James Glassman and Cynthia Tucker.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Rome: Engineering An Empire', and 'Life And Death In Rome'.
IFC -
[6AM] 'IFC September Short Film Collection II' (2005);
[8AM] 'Ten Tiny Love Stories' (2001);
[9:45AM] Short: 'Sparks' (1998);
[10AM] 'The Winslow Boy' (1999);
[12PM] 'Waking Life' (2000);
[1:45PM] 'At the IFC Center' (2005);
[2:15PM] 'Ten Tiny Love Stories' (2001);
[4PM] 'Love and Death' (1975);
[5:25PM] 'IFC September Short Film Showcase' (2005);
[6:15PM] 'Waking Life' (2000);
[8PM] 'The Festival #1' (2005);
[8:30PM] 'The Festival #2' (2005);
[9PM] 'The Festival #3' (2005);
[9:30PM] 'The Festival #4' (2005);
[10PM] 'Hopeless Pictures #3' (2005);
[10:20PM] 'Hopeless Pictures #4' (2005);
[10:40PM] 'Greg the Bunny #2: "The 13th Step"' (Barton Fink) (2005);
[10:45PM] 'Greg the Bunny #4: "Dead Puppet Storage"' (2005);
[11PM] 'Pulp Fiction' (1994);
[1:35AM] 'Hopeless Pictures #4' (2005);
[1:53AM] 'Greg the Bunny #4: "Dead Puppet Storage"' (2005);
[2:05AM] 'Pulp Fiction' (1994);
[4:40AM] 'Hopeless Pictures #4' (2005);
[5AM] 'Greg the Bunny #4: "Dead Puppet Storage"' (2005);
[5:10AM] 'IFC September Short Film Showcase' (2005). (ALL TIMES EDT)
SciFi has 'Firefly', followed by a FRESH'Stargate SG-1', then a FRESH'Stargate Atlantis', followed by a FRESH'Battlestar Galactica'.
Sundance -
[6AM] 'Look Out Haskell, It's Real: The Making of Medium Cool';
[7AM] 'The Al Franken Show': (09/08/05);
[8AM] 'Funny Ha Ha';
[9:35AM] 'Choropampa: The Price of Gold';
[11AM] 'The Al Franken Show': (09/08/05);
[12PM] 'Screaming Men';
[1:15PM] 'Embedded/Live';
[3PM] 'Funny Ha Ha';
[4:35PM] 'Look Out Haskell, It's Real: The Making of Medium Cool';
[5:35PM] 'The Housekeeper';
[7PM] 'Once Around';
[9PM] 'City of Hope';
[11:15PM] 'At the Quinte Hotel';
[11:30PM] 'The Al Franken Show': (09/09/05);
[12:30AM] 'AKA';
[2:20AM] 'When the Day Breaks';
[2:30AM] 'The Al Franken Show': (09/09/05);
[3:30AM] 'Read My Lips';
[5:30AM] 'The Housekeeper'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Aretha Franklin performs with Stevie Wonder (R) at the 10th Annual Soul Train Lady of Soul Awards in Pasadena, California, September 7, 2005.
Photo by Chris Pizzello
Rolling Stone, the magazine that was home for years to Hunter S. Thompson, will publish a note written by the gonzo journalist days before he committed suicide in February.
Douglas Brinkley, the presidential historian who is also Thompson's official biographer, writes that a Feb. 16 note may be Thompson's final written words. It reads:
"No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun - for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax - This won't hurt."
Written in black marker, the note was titled, "Football Season Is Over."
Former Secretary of State Madeline Albright, left, Sherry Lansing, Chairman and CEO of Paramount Motion Pictures Group and Gloria Steinem, right, pose for photographers at the Waldorf Astoria, Wednesday, Sept. 7, 2005, in New York. The Center for the Advancement of Women on Wednesday honored outstanding women who have demonstrated vision and leadership for the advancement of rights and opportunities of women.
Photo by Louis Lanzano
Filmmaker Robert Altman will direct the first British production of "Resurrection Blues," one of the last works by American playwright Arthur Miller.
Kevin Spacey, artistic director of London's Old Vic Theatre, announced the collaboration Thursday. It is the first time that Altman, 80, will direct for the London stage.
George Burns was 84 years old when his LP "I Wish I Was Eighteen Again" debuted on the Billboard album chart in February 1980.
If he did hold the record for being the oldest living individual to appear on this survey, he no longer does. Electric guitar innovator Les Paul turned 90 on June 9, and as part of the celebration, Capitol has released the CD "Les Paul & Friends: American Made World Played." The album is a new entry at No. 152 on The Billboard 200.
The debut of the new CD ends a 50-year gap in Paul's chart history. He last appeared on the Billboard album tally in 1955 with "Les and Mary," recorded with his wife Mary Ford. That album was also on Capitol.
ABC announced Thursday it will make all of its primetime entertainment programs, including hits "Lost" and "Desperate Housewives," available in Spanish starting this season, and it is hoping to gain something big in the translation.
The move is an acknowledgment of the expanding U.S. Hispanic population and its potential as a source of viewers. Previously, "George Lopez" was the only ABC series that aired in both English- and Spanish-language versions.
ABC, using both dubbing and closed captioning, will be the first of the major English-language broadcasters to provide its full primetime entertainment lineup in Spanish. Most other networks offer few shows in the language.
Comedian Steve Harvey will return to the radio airwaves this month thanks to a national syndication deal with Clear Channel Communications and Inner City Media's ICBC Broadcast Holdings.
"The Steve Harvey Show" will air in daily morning drive time starting September 19. The program will originate from Inner City's WBLS-FM in New York and also will be carried on Crawford Broadcasting's WSRB-FM/WYRB-FM in Chicago. Clear Channel said it plans to carry the new "Harvey" show and bring it to stations in major markets, including Detroit, Washington and Atlanta.
Legendary French pantomime artist Marcel Marceau, right, grimaces together with his scholar, Swiss clown and mime Dimitri, left, in Verscio, southern Switzerland, Thursday, Sept 8, 2005. Eighty-year old Marceau came to see Dimitri on the occasion of Dimitri's 70th birthday and of the 30th anniversary of Dimitri's theater and mime artists school.
Photo by Karl Mathis
Forced to defend what some critics consider its slow response to the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina, the Federal Emergency Management Agency said on Tuesday it does not want the news media to take photographs of the dead as they are recovered from New Orleans.
FEMA, which is leading the rescue efforts, rejected requests from journalists to accompany rescue boats as they went out to search for storm victims, Reuters reported.
A FEMA spokeswoman told the wire service that space was needed on the rescue boats and assured Reuters that "the recovery of the victims is being treated with dignity and the utmost respect."
Rebecca Daugherty of the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press said: "The notion that, when there's very little information from FEMA, that they would even spend the time to be concerned about whether the reporting effort is up to its standards of taste is simply mind-boggling. You cannot report on the disaster and give the public a realistic idea of how horrible it is if you don't see that there are bodies as well."
Richard Hatch, who won $1 million on the first season of the reality show "Survivor," was indicted Thursday for failing to pay taxes on his winnings from the CBS show.
Hatch faces 10 charges, including tax evasion, filing a false tax return, wire fraud, bank fraud and mail fraud. U.S. Attorney Robert Clark Corrente said Hatch, 44, did not pay taxes on his "Survivor" prize, income from a radio show and rental income. The Newport resident also allegedly used donations to his charity, Horizon Bound, to cover personal expenses.
Prosecutors charged Hatch with two counts of tax evasion in January. He agreed to plead guilty, but backed out of the deal in March, saying he thought CBS was responsible for paying the taxes on his prize. CBS has said Hatch was well aware of his obligations to pay taxes on the money.
The world's biggest green diamond 'Dresden Green Diamond' is modelled by Izumi Mori, granddaughter of Japanese fashion designer Hanae Mori, at U.S. jeweler Harry Winston's Ginza shop in Tokyo September 8, 2005. The 40.70 carat diamond, its worth estimated at 200 million dollars according to Harry Winston Chairman Ronald Winston, was shown for the first time in Japan to mark the fifth anniversary of the Ginza shop.
Photo by Eriko Sugita
Television shows like CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, depicting forensic scientists at work, are helping criminals avoid identification, New Scientist magazine said on Wednesday.
Not only are the criminals getting detailed insights into police detection methods and how to avoid them, but the shows have led juries to expect too much certainty from scientific witnesses.
Seven days after its lease expired, the legendary punk venue CBGB's received an eviction notice from its landlord - a move the club's owner predicted Thursday would move the bitter fight over the Manhattan club's future into the courtroom.
"This was expected," said CBGB's owner Hilly Kristal. "We were hoping it would come. Now it becomes a court battle."
The eviction notice was served Wednesday evening. The building landlord, the nonprofit homeless advocacy group the Bowery Resident's Committee, reiterated its call for CBGB's to "vacate the premises both voluntarily and expeditiously."
A Chinese model in white make-up waits before a show at a retailers exhibition in Beijing September 8, 2005. Companies in China are employing different kinds of advertising gimmicks in an effort to capture the growing 'nouveau rich' market and its expanding middle class as wealth and disposable income rise with the improving economy.
Photo by Claro Cortes IV
America's former first lady Barbara Bush has heaped further pressure on the beleaguered US President by claiming refugees from Hurricane Katrina are better off thanks to the floods.
She said: "What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas.
"Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality."
"And so many of the people in the arena here were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."
US Vice President Dick Cheney was confronted by an irate heckler when he toured the US Gulf coast region devastated by Hurricane Katrina.
Cheney, who was sent to the region by resident George W. Bush amid intense criticism of the federal response to the disaster, was briefing reporters in Gulfport, Mississippi, on his impressions of the relief work when he was interrupted by a bystander.
"Go fuck yourself Mr. Cheney!" the unidentified man shouted. The man then repeated: "Go fuck yourself!"
A Canadian search-and-rescue team reached a flooded New Orleans suburb to help save trapped residents five days before the U.S. military, a Louisiana state senator said on Wednesday.
The Canadians beat both the Army and the Federal Emergency Management Agency, the U.S. disaster response department, to St. Bernard Parish east of New Orleans, where flood waters are still 8 feet deep in places, Sen. Walter Boasso said.
The stricken parish of 68,000 people was largely ignored by U.S. authorities who scrambled to get aid to New Orleans, a few miles (km) away. Boasso said residents of the outlying parishes had to mount their own rescue and relief efforts when Hurricane Katrina roared ashore on August 29.
A ring made from purple gold is displayed at a jewellery store in Singapore September 7, 2005. Invented by a metallurgy professor at Singapore Polytechnic, purple gold acts like a gemstone, adorning rings and pendants made of white gold and enhancing the allure of diamond necklaces. Purple gold is created by mixing gold with other metals such as palladium and aluminium. It comprises about 80 percent pure gold. The chemical reaction creates the purple colour.
Photo by Nicky Loh
The remains of a massive Gold Rush-era sailing ship dating to the early 1800s have been discovered at the site of a large construction project in downtown San Francisco, archaeologists at the scene confirmed Tuesday.
The ship's decaying bow peeked through mounds of earth as workers under the direction of an archaeologist brushed away generations of dirt from its aging timbers. A dig crew unearthed the first portions of the ship last week as they carved away dirt to lay the foundation for a 650-unit condominium development.
The city of San Francisco, the site developer and Allan's firm have a standing agreement to record the historical value of any submerged cultural resources they come across at such sites, Allan said. It's not the first such find; the city's financial district rests atop a nautical morgue, of sorts, with hundreds of ships forming a portion of the landfill that used to be prime waterfront.
The ship was likely abandoned as Gold Rush fever overtook the region in the mid-1800s. In the 1850s, as many as 600 ships were abandoned in San Francisco's harbor, burned or simply junked by owners who switched their focus to mining the rich gold veins in the state's interior, according to Wolfgang Schubert, who gives historical walking tours of the San Francisco's waterfront for the Golden Gate National Recreation Area.
The cat is out of the bag at a restaurant in northeast China that had been serving donkey meat spiked with tiger urine in pricey dishes advertised as endangered Siberian tigers.
Local media in Heilongjiang province got wind that the restaurant was offering stir-fried dishes and medicinal liquor made from tiger meat and bones, sparking local police and health inspectors to pounce, the China Daily said on Thursday.
"After inspection, the owner confessed that the so-called tiger meat was donkey meat that had been dressed with tiger urine to give the dish a 'special' flavour," the newspaper said.
Rankings for the top 15 programs on basic cable networks as compiled by Nielsen Media Research for the week of Aug. 29-Sept. 4. Each ratings point represents 1,096,000 households. Day and start time (EDT) are in parentheses.
1. "The Closer" (Monday, 9 p.m.), TNT, 3.8, 4.19 million homes.
2. "The O'Reilly Factor" (Friday, 8 p.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.6, 3.96 million homes.
3. "Fox News Live" (Monday, 10 a.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.6, 3.93 million homes.
4. "The O'Reilly Factor" (Thursday, 8 p.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.5, 3.89 million homes.
5. "Hannity & Colmes" (Friday, 9 p.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.5, 3.83 million homes.
6. "Hannity & Colmes" (Thursday, 9 p.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.5, 3.81 million homes.
7. "Hannity & Colmes" (Wednesday, 9 p.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.4, 3.78 million homes.
8. "The O'Reilly Factor" (Wednesday, 8 p.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.4, 3.75 million homes.
9. "Studio B With Shepard Smith" (Friday, 3 p.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.3, 3.65 million homes.
10. "On the Record With Greta Van Susteren" (Wednesday, 10 p.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.3, 3.63 million homes.
11. "On the Record With Greta Van Susteren" (Thursday, 10 p.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.2, 3.57 million homes.
12. "WWE Raw Zone" (Monday, 10 p.m.), Spike, 3.2, 3.55 million homes.
13. "Special Report: President Bush and FEMA Director" (Friday, 11:24 a.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.2, 3.49 million homes.
14. "Fox News Live" (Friday, 11:40 a.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.2, 3.47 million homes.
15. "Fox News Live" (Monday, 11 a.m.), Fox News Channel, 3.1, 3.44 million homes.
A Hummingbird Hawk-Moth (Macroglossum stellatarum) sucks the nectar of a buddleia blossom, Monday, Sept. 5, 2005 in a garden in Frankfurt, Germany. The weather is expected to remain warm and sunny during the next days, according to meteorologists.
Photo by Michael Probst
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