Who's Going To Hell This Week
Helen A. Handbasket
Weekly Review
from Harper's Magazine
HARPER'S WEEKLY REVIEW - 5 March, 2002
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a preliminary
finding that virtually every American living in the United States
since 1951 has been exposed to nuclear fallout: "All organs and
tissues of the body have received some radiation exposure," the report
said. The fallout, which resulted from both American and Soviet tests,
could be responsible for more than 11,000 cancer deaths.
The Texas veterinarian who first isolated the Ames strain of anthrax was
fighting $9,000 in fines for burning the carcasses of anthrax-infected
cattle, in violation of Texas air pollution rules. At the time of the
offense, Texas preferred that the anthrax be buried in a landfill,
leaving open the possibility that the bacteria could be harvested by
terrorists.
The F.B.I. claimed to have a "short list" of suspects in
last year's anthrax attacks.
President Bush approved plans to send troops to Yemen as anti-terrorism advisers.
The sheriff of Flathead County, Montana, described a foiled plot by a right-wing militia to
assassinate local authorities, including the dog catcher; the killings
would have resulted, according to the plan, in the deployment of
National Guard troops, whose deaths were to have sparked a revolution.
After Afghan prisoners at Guantanamo Naval Base, protesting the
removal of a towel from the head of a praying prisoner, refused to
eat, military authorities decided to let them wear turbans during prayer.
Colombian rebels went on a killing spree, and Colombia's
military, as part of a public-relations campaign, deployed a ten-foot
inflatable soldier as a mascot near Bogota.
Secret Service agents
accidentally left a security plan for Vice President Dick Cheney on
the counter of a skateboard store in Salt Lake City; the agents had
purchased nine Olympic hats as souvenirs.
White House speechwriter
David Frum, whose wife circulated an email recently boasting that her
husband had coined the phrase "axis of evil," resigned; Frum now
claims that he wrote "axis of hate" and that someone, possibly the
President, replaced hate with evil.
( continued at Weekly Review )
--Roger D. Hodge
Reader Input
Re: Austin SXSW
'' FYI, it starts this weekend (March 8th).
For all your information, go to www.sxsw.com ''
~~ jOE
Thanks, Joe!
From 'TBH Politoons'
Great Site!
Thanks, again, Tim!
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Pretty much stayed with the NBC sitcoms. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss has a much better voice than expected.
Late night TV was delayed because of the primary election. KNBC declared Bill Simon the winner in their
10 pm (pst) break. That means 8 more months of Rudy Guiliani commercials to mock. Love it when the serial philanderer
whips his glasses off & says 'trust me'. Why doesn't he mention family values?
Tonight, Wednesday, CBS has 2 magazine shows, '60 Minutes II' and '48 Hours' wrapped around
2 reruns. Dave is still in reruns.
It's an all fresh night on NBC with 'Ed', 'The West Wing' and 'Law & Order'. Sadly, Jay
is not in reruns.
Over on ABC, it's mixed up a bit. 'My Wife & Kids' is a rerun, but, 'Jim' is fresh. 'Drew Carey' is a rerun,
but 'The Job' is fresh. Then it's 'Downtown'.
It's all reruns on the WB with 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Glory Days'.
Faux is fresh with 'That 80's Show', 'Grounded For Life', 'Bernie Mac', and 'Titus'.
UPN has a rerun 'Enterprise' followed by reruns of 'As If' and 'The Random Years'.
AMC has 'Start The Revolution Without Me', where Gene Wilder & Donald Sutherland are twins.
TCM continues with it's Oscar-fest, and you can have 'Citizen Kane' for breakfast, and 'The Man Who Shot
Liberty Valence' for lunch!
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Billy Jack Series To Continue
Keanu Reeves
After he completes a pair of sequels to the futuristic hit "The Matrix," Keanu Reeves is looking to go retro, in the form of "Billy Jack."
Tom Laughlin, who wrote, directed and starred in the original 1971 counterculture hit, is in talks with Danny DeVito's Jersey Films and Reeves'
management firm 3 Arts to mount a remake of the film.
A tough, spiritual Vietnam veteran who's half-Native American, Billy Jack challenged the establishment and championed a group of runaway
teens as well as the environment in an Arizona town. A man of few words, he was quick with fists and feet.
The project is expected to be shopped to studios shortly, and Laughlin also will play a critical role in the production. The film rights are
controlled by Laughlin, who over the years has received numerous remake overtures for a film whose cost-to-gross ratio made it wildly profitable.
Keanu Reeves
Life Goes On
'They Are Family'
Life goes on, even for Solicitor General Ted Olson. His wife, Barbara, died on Sept. 11 shortly after she cell-phoned him to say terrorists had taken over her L.A.-bound jet. But
Olson was out Friday, on the arm of socialite Nini Ferguson, at the Larry King cardiac benefit at D.C.'s new Ritz-Carlton. Gorgeous Shawn King sang the National Anthem. The Go-Gos,
who were thrilled to meet V.P. Dick Cheney, performed, as did Heart and comic Lewis Black - "who used language Washington hasn't heard since the Nixon tapes," trilled Chicago's Sugar
Rautboard. Nile Rogers led Bob Dole, Sen. John Warner and everyone else in a joyous rendition of "We Are Family."
Life Goes On
Carrion Luggage?
Faux 'Entertainment' & Irwin Allen
Rupert Murdoch's Fox Entertainment is traveling back in time to revive four sci-fi TV series: "Lost in Space," "The Time Tunnel," "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" and "Land of the Giants."
It has pacted with the estate of late producer Irwin Allen who died in 1991, to air reruns as well as create new TV and film versions of the classic quartet.
The pact contains three major components:
= A renewal of producer 20th Century Fox Television's off-network rights to distribute the original 83 episodes of "Lost in Space," which ran on CBS from 1965-68.
= A production agreement to revive "Time Tunnel," "Voyage" and "Land of the Giants." While 20th Television co-owned the three titles as the original
producer of the shows, it needed Allen's estate on board in order to move forward with new incarnations.
= A new production agreement to revive "Lost in Space." The rights to the title had been at New Line, which developed the property into a 1998
feature, with hopes of turning it into a franchise.
The deal also covers potential feature films, merchandising and licensing.
Faux 'Entertainment' & Irwin Allen
See It For Yourself
Sing Along With John Ashcroft
Sing Along With John Ashcroft
Formerly 'The Web' Is Now....
''Wednesday 9:30 (8:30 Central)''
The upcoming ABC midseason comedy formerly known as "The Web" has a new name: "Wednesday 9:30 (8:30 Central)."
That's not a typo. ABC executives have decided to give the new half-hour, which revolves around a fictional TV network, a name that matches its time slot.
ABC execs and show creator Peter Tolan ("The Job") had been struggling for months for a new name to substitute for "The Web," which refers to
Daily Variety "slanguage" for a TV network. Tolan pitched dozens of names to ABC brass.
ABC has ordered only six episodes of "Wednesday," and Tolan has picked up on vibes that the network doesn't have huge expectations for the
series. The out-there title reflects the long-shot mood surrounding the show, as do plot lines like that of the episode in which the star
of a show is given a Chinese baby to adopt as a 75th-episode present.
"Maybe we should just call it 'Six and Out,"' he said.
''Wednesday 9:30 (8:30 Central)''
Tour To Be Announced
Michael Jackson
Just six months ago, music insiders were saying Michael Jackson would never go on tour. They claimed he was too weird and fans
wouldn't buy tickets. Wrong. In two weeks, the King of Pop will announce his first North American tour in almost a decade. Jackson's
management is just working out the details. As for the supernatural popster's desire to leave Epic, the label says he has "two more
records with us. He isn't going anywhere."
Michael Jackson
15th Annual Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards
Rosie O'Donnell
Rosie O'Donnell will return for her sixth headlining gig at the 15th annual Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards April 20.
O'Donnell will likely continue her hosting stint on the popular kudocast -- airing live this year from Santa Monica's Barker
Hangar -- even after she leaves her talk show this May. A Nick spokesman said the cable channel should "continue to have an
ongoing relationship with Rosie" after this season, since she is a "longtime friend of Nick."
15th Annual Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards
Thanks To Fud
Hear The 'Trifecta' Statement
Read the transcript, & hear the quote, too!
(quoting)
'' And we've got a job to do at home, as well. You know, I was campaigning in Chicago and somebody asked me, is there ever any time where the budget might have to go into deficit? I said only if we were at war or had a national emergency or were in recession. (Laughter.) Little did I realize we'd get the trifecta. (Laughter.) But we're fine. ''
Scroll down 31 paragraphs to read it for yourself.
Hear The 'Trifecta' Quote Here.
Many Thanks, to Fud, a loyal bartcopper : )
What Was He Thinking?
Bruce Villanch's 'Stable'?
Oscar-writer Bruce Villanch's stable this year includes Carrie Fisher and Rita Rudner. The Academy Awards telecast takes a
village of one-liners.
Bruce Villanch's 'Stable'?
National Radio Show Devoted To 'Garage Bands'
Steven Van Zandt
Garage rock is getting its own national radio show, with a little help from one of Bruce Springsteen's friends.
Former E Street Band member Steven Van Zandt is teaming up with the people behind the Hard Rock Cafe to launch a new radio show devoted to garage rock.
The two-hour nationally syndicated show will be called "Little Steven's Underground Garage" and debuts April 7. It will air each week on Sunday evenings.
The show will be devoted to classic garage rock artists such as The Ramones, The Animals and Them. It will also give new artists a chance
to emerge from the garage and share their music.
"Underground Garage" will air in at least 23 cities, including New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Washington.
'Little Steven's Underground Garage'
On The Mend
Julia Child
Julia Child was recuperating after spending a night at a hospital during the weekend with a bout of bronchitis that troubled her breathing.
Child, 89, checked into a San Francisco hospital Saturday afternoon and was released Sunday, according to her assistant, Stephanie Hersh.
She was resting in the Bay Area before the return trip to her Southern California home, Hersh said Monday.
A Pasadena native, Child recently moved from Massachusetts to Santa Barbara County.
Hersh said Child had a horrible cough after they drove from Southern California on Wednesday to visit the Bay Area. Despite her illness, Child
maintained her typically busy schedule.
Former OSS Agent Under The Weather
New Definition Of Welch-Ade?
Jack Welch
Former General Electric Chairman Jack Welch has always been a media darling, but now the Wall Street Journal is reporting that
he's got his own little darling in the media.
Staffers at the Harvard Business Review have called for the resignation of editor Suzy Wetlaufer, claiming that her relationship
with the 66-year-old best-selling author is an ethical breach.
Wetlaufer, who is 42, interviewed Welch in October, after he stepped down from GE. In December, Wetlaufer asked her bosses to scrap
the story, saying she had become "too close" to the married Welch for the article to be objective. Two reporters were immediately
assigned to save the piece, which ran in the February issue.
Welch contends that the two had only a "friendship." But his wife, Jane, apparently disagreed. She called Wetlaufer and asked whether
the article could be impartial considering the editor's relationship with the former GE exec.
Jack Welch
Will It Sell In The Heartland?
Liza & David
The big debate at People magazine this week is about whether they should put the wedding of Liza Minnelli and David Gest on their
cover (presuming the March 16 nuptials actually take place.) People seemingly has bought the U.S. rights to this odd ceremony, but
that doesn't mean they'll waste a cover on it. The fear is that what some are calling a freak show will play OK on both coasts, but
will be a real dog at the checkout counters in Middle America.
Liza & David
Movie Deal?
Sammy Sosa
Sammy Sosa has been on TV, radio and baseball cards — so why not the movies?
The Chicago Cubs slugger told a Dominican newspaper that he's signed a contract with Warner Bros. to make a movie about a character
he's familiar with: himself.
In the interview published Monday in the afternoon newspaper Ultima Hora, Sosa said he'd like to play himself in some scenes. He said
the studio was unlikely to find someone who could hit a baseball was well as he can.
The newspaper did not include details on how much Sosa would be paid for the film or when he signed the contract. Neither Sosa nor Warner
Bros. officials were available to comment on the interview or confirm the deal.
Sammy Sosa
Special Guest - Greg Palast - 16 March
Erin Hart
Saturday, March 16th at 10pm PST, Greg Palast visits with 710 KIRO-Seattle talk show host Erin Hart,
and discusses his new book on globalization, ''The Best Democracy Money Can Buy''.
For more details, visit Erin's fan page (courtesy of 14Dem), http://www.erinistas.com/, or to join her mailing list, drop a
note to erinistas@aol.com.
Or drop me a note at one of the addy's below....after all, I am Erin's 'LA Producer'.
Neal Travis Is Reporting...
Chargers Moving?
And still in L.A., rumor has it that the San Diego Chargers are stepping up their efforts to move up the Coast and fill the NFL vacancy
left by the Rams. They could be helped in this by John Shaw, president of the all-conquering Rams, who isn't that happy in St. Louis and
would like to go home to the City of Angels and help set up the new franchise, if the Chargers get it.
Chargers Moving?
He's Sorry, Then Annoyed, Then Sorry...
Russell Crowe
Actor Russell Crowe - who was reportedly enraged and then apologetic after a poem was cut from the British broadcast of his acceptance
speech at the British Academy Film Awards — was annoyed all over again when the verse was cut from the broadcast in his native
Australia, news reports said Tuesday.
Crowe, who won the best actor award for his role as a schizophrenic math genius in "A Beautiful Mind," threw a party for friends at his
farm near the Australian town of Coffs Harbour Monday to watch the broadcast on Australian Broadcasting Corp. television, the
British tabloid The Sun reported.
"Russell couldn't believe the poem was axed again. He went sulky at first, then got angry," it quoted an unidentified friend as saying.
Crowe, 37, reportedly has apologized for losing his temper with the director of the awards ceremony show, Malcolm Gerrie, after the poem was
cut from the one-hour delayed telecast on the British Broadcasting Corp.
Gerrie was not available for comment Tuesday, but The Sun quoted him as saying that "there were specific instructions that Russell's poem would
not be edited out of the Australian broadcast."
Russell Crowe
Health Updates
2 'Old Broads'
Phyllis Diller, 83, to announce that after 46 years she's retiring. Oh, an occasional TV shot maybe, but no more stand-up one-nighters.
She's had it. Retirement is a 23-room mansion just down the block from what once was O.J.'s. Last year Phyl made it through hip
replacment and a pacemaker implant.
Another old broad. Rosemary Clooney remains in Mayo Clinic. They've fixed her health problem, but won't release her until she sheds
more of those dangerously overweight pounds and can walk out herself. Rich David Murdoch, onetime son-in-law when he was married to
Maria, her daughter by Jose Ferrer, has a plane at her disposal. Shame she missed the Grammys, where she was to collect the Lifetime Achievement award.
A Couple of ''Old Broads''
Where Are The 'Compassionate Conservatives'?
Christopher Reeve
Actor Christopher Reeve on Tuesday joined the debate in Congress over cloning, endorsing a bill that would allow human embryos to
be cloned, but only for medical research.
Reeve, the star of "Superman" movies who was paralyzed from the neck down in a 1995 horse-riding accident, told the Senate Health
Committee he was "deeply disturbed by unreasonable attempts to block scientific progress."
The Senate is expected to take up the issue within the next month. The House voted last July to outlaw all human cloning, a position
also endorsed by President Bush.
"Our government is supposed to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people," Reeve said. "Beyond that, we have a moral
responsibility to help others."
Supporters of that position say research made possible by "therapeutic" cloning could lead to treatments and cures for Alzheimer's
disease, diabetes, cancer and other diseases.
Christopher Reeve
'Songs You Never Thought You'd Hear'
''When Pigs Fly''
The Oak Ridge Boys cover the Kansas tune "Carry On, My Wayward Son" on the album "When Pigs Fly: Songs You Never Thought You'd Hear," which will
be released by the independent A2X label.
The collection features other notably odd performances, such as Billy Preston's singing Duran Duran's 1981 song "Girls on Film," and
Leslie Gore's take on AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap."
If that's not enough to win over the average music fan, independent folkie Ani DiFranco and Hong Kong action movie star Jackie Chan
team up for a version of the Nat King Cole hit "Unforgettable."
"When Pigs Fly: Songs You Never Thought You'd Hear" is scheduled to be released May 7.
''When Pigs Fly''
Beaten By Street Gang
Stephen Graham
Actor Stephen Graham, who co-starred with Brad Pitt in the hit gangster movie "Snatch," says he'll never return to his hometown of
Merseyside, in central England, after being viciously beaten by a street gang.
Graham, 28, was leaving a pub with his fiancee and his father when they were suddenly attacked by nine men in the town of Kirby,
near Liverpool, The Times newspaper said on Wednesday.
He offered no explanation for the attack.
Graham played the role of Tommy in Guy Ritchie's violent gangster film "Snatch." He also appears in Martin Scorsese's recently
released "Gangs of New York."
Stephen Graham
Kicks Off 25 June
''O Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Tour
Four million copies sold and several Grammys are more than enough reasons for the Down From the Mountain Tour to hit the road again this summer.
The routing, cities and venues aren't yet confirmed, Billboard says, but the amphitheater tour inspired by the Coen brothers'
film "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" will be five weeks long and kick off June 25.
The first version of the bluegrass and roots music tour visited 17 cities in January and February. The second leg's bill will include many of
the same artists: Alison Krauss and Union Station featuring Dan Tyminski, Emmylou Harris, Patty Loveless, Ralph Stanley, the Del McCoury Band,
the Nashville Bluegrass Band, the Whites and Jerry Douglas.
The summer run will also add Ricky Skaggs to the lineup.
''O Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Tour
Striking A Sour Note
Grammy Awards
The Grammy Awards struck a sour note with television viewers, another piece of bad news for a music industry struggling through
its worst sales slump in two decades.
Just under 19 million viewers watched Alicia Keys, U2 and the "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" soundtrack pick up major awards at the
Grammy ceremony last Wednesday on CBS.
That was down sharply from the 26.6 million people who watched in 2001, and was the second-smallest audience for the music awards
since Nielsen Media Research records have been kept. The smallest audience ever was the 17.2 million people who watched in 1995.
Grammy Awards
Splitsville
Eddie & Lorraine
Actor Edward James Olmos has filed for divorce from "The Sopranos" co-star Lorraine Bracco.
The couple married in 1994 and have been separated since 1997, according to forms filed with the court Friday and made public Tuesday. They
have no minor children, according to the documents.
The marriage, the second for both, was marred by a custody battle between Bracco and Harvey Keitel over their daughter in which bitter
allegations were traded.
Eddie & Lorraine
New 'Face' For Disney
Michelle Kwan
Figure skater Michelle Kwan has signed a three-year deal to serve as a spokeswoman for The Walt Disney Co.
Kwan, 21, will be featured in marketing campaigns for Disney's theme parks, restaurants, cruise line, motion pictures and other company
properties. Kwan will also make public service announcements for the company and appear as a presenter at various awards programs.
Financial terms of the agreement were not disclosed.
Michelle Kwan
Splitsville
Roseanne
Citing irreconcilable differences, comedic actress Roseanne has filed to divorce her third husband, her former bodyguard Ben Thomas, court records showed Monday.
The two have been married since Valentine's Day 1995 and have a 6-year-old son. The 49-year-old former talk show host has asked for full
custody of the boy, with visitation rights for the 35-year-old Thomas, papers showed.
It was the second time Roseanne filed for divorce against Thomas. She filed papers after a New Year's Day 1998 event in which Thomas allegedly broke
a lamp and window at the couple's Bel Air home. The city attorney's domestic violence unit decided not to file charges.
Roseanne's first marriage to Bill Pentland ended in divorce after 14 years and three children. She and her second husband, actor-comedian Tom
Arnold, divorced in November 1994 after nearly four years of marriage.
Roseanne
Leaving ''This Week'' In The Fall
Cokie Roberts
Cokie Roberts said Tuesday she will leave as co-anchor of "This Week" in the fall for a simple reason: "I want a life."
The veteran journalist said she made the decision 18 months ago when she was renegotiating her contract with ABC. She and Sam Donaldson
began anchoring the Sunday public affairs show in 1996.
Ending her "This Week" duties will give her more weekend time with her family, Roberts said.
ABC denied a USA Today report that George Stephanopoulos and Claire Shipman had been chosen to replace Donaldson and Roberts on the
show, which has been faltering in the ratings behind NBC's "Meet the Press."
Roberts, who is the daughter of the late Rep. Hale Boggs, D-La., who was House Majority Leader, is working on a book about the
women who influenced America's founding fathers.
Cokie Roberts
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BETTY BOWERS Cooks!
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
'Bob Woodward vs. John Belushi and Me'
Michael Dare - 'The Life and Death of Captain Preemo'
BartCop TV!
Watergate v$ Enron!
From BartCop
The Bush Rap (Sheet)
Special Bonus From BartCop
