BartCop Entertainment News - Tuesday, 7 August, 2001

(BartCop Entertainment)

Tuesday

7 August, 2001

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Evening At Chris Matthews'

Btw72

An evening at Chris Matthews'...

After a red meat dinner garnished with his spittle, Chris invited us to his video 
den.  I saw an old copy of Field and Scream (1955) on a side table.

First, we watched Scream (1996), then Scream... and Die! (1973), followed 
by Scream and Scream Again (1969), starring Christopher Matthews, 
and for a certain guy on the Supreme Court, Scream in the Middle of the Night (1990), 
starring Sandra Scream.  

 ~~Btw

Who's Going to Hell This Week?

by Helen A. Handbasket

You never know who's going to trade their soul away or what they're going to get 
for it unless you're Helen A. Handbasket, ex-executive chief in charge of operations 
for the burning flames of hellfire. Who are her sources? Wouldn't you like to know? 
Sorry, all communications are confidential and the property of Helen A. Handbasket, 
whose opinions do not necessarily reflect those of this or any other publication. 


WHO'S GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK?

August 6, 2001

While the socially conscious are burning their tax rebates to reduce the money 
supply and help the economy, Satan's spending his on a new laptop, and I don't 
mean computer. Guess who's going in for penile reduction surgery? You didn't 
hear it from me.
- Helen -

10. Why is tropical storm Barry wreaking havoc in the Florida panhandle. Marion Barry 
      hasn't done crack in a month. Way to go Barry! Sorry Florida.

 9. John Frankenheimer is shooting a prequel to "The Exorcist" while George Romero 
      is remaking "The Dawn of the Dead." Satan loves a good laugh.

 8. Guess which world leader was stupid enough to actually open the Sircam e-mail 
      virus when it asked him for advice, sending his secret itinerary out to everyone 
      in his address book? Guess again. Yep, it's Leonid Kuchma, the duly elected 
      president of the Ukraine.

 7. Why are federal safety officials expanding their probe into potential defects 
      in the Jeep Grand Cherokee? Satan once probed a Grand Cherokee and found it 
      less than satisfying.

 6. Dickheads at Simon and Schuster turned down a book proposal by Sex and the 
      City's Kim Cattrall just because it was "all about the clitoris."

 5. Why did the house ban human cloning? Maybe NOW Brad Pitt will get Jennifer 
      Aniston pregnant.

 4. North Carolina become the fifth state to prohibit execution of the retarded 
      on the same day that generic Prozac was released. Coincidence? I don't 
      think so. 

 3. Why did virgin Records give Whitney Huston $100 million dollars, the largest 
      contract in recording history? How else was Kim Jong Il going to get into 
      Russia?

 2. Will any more football players die of heatstroke? Not if Gram Parsons gets a 
      memorial at Cap Rock in Joshua Tree.

And the number one person going to hell this week?

 1. Chris Tucker. I need a reason? 

Personal to Democrats: The rights have no patience. 
Personal to Republicans: The patients have no rights.

Arithmetic from Hell

13 Philippine hostages plus the amount of Backstreet Boys in rehab minus the amount 
  of stars of "Pearl Harbor" in rehab times the amount of days the Queen mother has 
  to live plus the amount of profits from Michael Jackson's tour that's going to 
  charity divided by $66.8 million made by "Rush Hour 2" in one week equals the 
  25 years it took for Nick Buonoconti to get into the Pro Football Hall of Fame 
  times 4 civilians injured by a grenade in Kosovo divided by every passionate 
  conservative in the white house plus 30 million U.S. citizens born in foreign 
  countries. 

Overheard in Hell's Co-ed Bathroom

Ho ho ho
You and me
Code Red worm don't I love thee

Ho ho ho
You and me
Fucking up security

WHAT?

You missed some of Helen's Columns? 

Read them all at Gossip From Hell

 ~~MD


Darenet


(Thanks, Michael!)

Fun Link

The Dialectizer

Reader Music Review

Ice Weasel

Prefab Sprout - 'The Gunman and Other Stories'

I have this theory. it goes something like this.  Only truly and profoundly 
unhappy artists make the very best art.  This goes double for music.  Sure there 
is a place for happy and fluffy pop, but not all the time.  Sometimes we need the 
tears beaten (or gently coaxed) out of us.  Few people have shown themselves to 
more adept at this than Paddy McAloon from Prefab Sprout.  As the main creative 
force behind Prefab Sprout he has written and recorded six or nine albums 
(depending on how you count them) of incredible pop.  But pop crafted with the 
touch of a master, not unlike those much lauded lillipudlians of yore (McAloon 
hails from Newcastle).  His gift for brilliant lyrics may only be equalled by a 
few living writers.

So, here in my hand is the much awaited seventh Prefab record, the Gunmn And 
Other Stories.  Sonically, this record sounds much like the natural extension of 
1997ıs Andromeda Heights.  Granted, the acorn didnıt fall very far from that 
previous tree.  Typically dense production and vocal layerings, albeit with the 
typical Prefab sense of ennui, and a lot more cotton candy lyrically.  However, 
sonic beauty is not something strange to Prefab records.  It abounds on them.  So 
the real problem I face with this new record is, weaker songwriting, but with the 
same luscious sound.

'The Gunman...' is ostensibly Pefabıs ³country² record.  While the influences are 
there, itıs hardly more country than Christina Aguilera brandishing a banjo.  Some 
of the material, lyrically, may be an homage to the ³west² but 'The Gunman...' 
Really doesnıt take country seriously.  Which is a shame.  Listen to k.d. langıs 
³Shadowland², and hear what an incredible singer can do.  Calling langıs 
³Shadowland² a mere collection of country covers is a gross injustice.  lang 
infuses those old songs with her own feelings.  So why is 'The Gunman...' so 
unsatisfying?  Perhaps because history says Paddy McAloon can do better.  Much 
better.

So maybe itıs not fair to try and hold this record up as country record.  How 
does it fair as a Prefab record?  Not very well Iım afraid.  McAloonıs lyrics 
have lost that bittersweet edge that kept the lush pop at bay so well.  The lyrics 
on this record are not even the clever word play he so engages so effectively.  
His singing is as sweet as ever but, mouthing these new words, he just sounds like, 
well, Iım not going to say it out of respect for all he has already given me.  
The absence of Wendy Smith is felt throughout the record.  She has a haunting 
voice that delicately counterpoints McAloonıs smoothness.

The songs on the record:

'Cowboy Dreams'  is a bit of a surprise.  I have this admittedly weird theory that 
the first song on any given Prefab record is just there for shock value and not 
necessarily indicative of the rest of the album.  In the case of 'The Gunman...' 
nothing could be less true.  Itıs the forumla for the rest of record at itıs most 
successful.  A sort rambling country inflected pop tune with disappointing lyrics 
but enjoyable melodically.  You know what Steve Martin said, ³you canıt play a sad 
song on the banjo.²

'Wild Card In The Pack'  is the card that should have cut to the bottom of the 
deck.  A silly story song not unlike other McAloon tunes that is, well, silly.  

'Iım A Troubled 'Man   may be one of the biggest mistakes on the record.  Even 
with the plaintive Hammond organ and McAloonıs vocal gift the song just falls 
flat and ends up sounding rather insincere (and not the good insincerity of
Randy Newman or even McAloonıs own sarcastic greats from the past).

'The Streets Of Laredo/Not Long For This World'  is another lyrical nightmare only 
worsened by a pop soundscape that would make Phil Collins blush.  Here even the 
trademark Prefab sound is distilled into something very treacly.

'Love Will Find Someone For You'  is dreadful lyrically and rather derivitive of 
McAloonıs own work previously.  Itıs filler on an album that has far too little 
else.

'Cornfield Ablaze'  should have been burned.  Why Paddy, why?  To quote from the 
song, 'I Saw You From The Tractor', "...the harvest had just begun, you were the 
love child of two gods - I was the farmerıs awkward  son, you left Mount Olympus 
to find your soul mate...".    I just canıt go on.  You get the idea.  Paddy 
McAloon whining about ³soulmates²!  What next?

'When You Get To Know Me Better'  is best described by the songs full title, 
'When You Get To Know Me Better, Youıll Learn To Love Me Less'.  Oh, Paddy.  This 
is not your gift for irony and the tragedy of the human condition.  Itıs a pedal 
steel Fritoıs commercial.  Stop it.

'The Gunman' starts off like some of the better epic pieces from Jordan: the come 
back and may be one of the better attempts on this record were it not to fall 
flat from own Bon Joviesque bombast.  Once again, McAloon, a wonderful lyricist, 
sounds as though he has been cribbing from Diane Warren rather than listening to 
his own muse.

'Blue Roses may grow up to the sky before I ever make you cry', but if this record 
doesnıt get better soon Iıll be crying anyway.

And last, and certainly not least, 'Farmyard Cat' may be the best thing on the 
album or the worst thing ever recorded.  I just cannot decide.  Itıs obviously 
stupid.  But if I take it for granted itıs just supposed to stupid fun, it is.  
Itıs infectious and enjoyable if not the belly laugh the producer and songwriter 
might have thought it was.  But it also sums this record up.  'The Gunman...'
leaves me wondering why?  Is this serious?  It seems as though it might be?  Is it 
funny?  Well, bits of it are in a wistful sad for the better Prefab material way.  
But not in any way I truly find enjoyable.

And by the way, where are Wendy Smith and Neil Conti?  Itıs hard not to think that 
their absence on this record only contributed to itıs lack of real depth.

Producer Tony Visconti has a history of working on some great, perhaps landmark 
records.  And with 'The Gunman...' he does a laudable job compared to the Thomas 
Dolby produced masterpieces that already exist.  Itıs just that there isnıt much 
beneath the surface.  itıs the classic Prefab sound without the substance beneath 
that made previous Prefab records so supremely enjoyable and evocative.  Itıs like 
watching a once genius performer badly sending up his own act at a cheesy country 
club.

To sum it all up, 'The Gunman...'  might be the most disappointing record for 
Prefab sprout.  Itıs not uncommon to say something like, ³Sure Gunmanıs not great 
but if it was the first record from an unknown artist itwould be great, eh?²  Well, 
no.  It would be bad.  Granted,I would be saved from the disappointment of knowing 
I came so close to getting a good Prefab record (nothing I take lightly I assure 
you).  When Prefabıs debut was released in U.S., a Columbia (now Sony) rep described 
the record to me as, ³Frank Sintra and Steely Dan, but nothing like either one².
This record may still have some classic Frank and Dan appeal, but Frank from the 
bad Vegas days and Steely Dan limping through a rock and roll hall of fame 
induction ceremony.  Itıs a pale imitation of a brilliant artist.  A cheesy 
Disneyland silhouette rather than the Rembrandt we deserve (and Prefab is capable 
of).  Please accept this review in the spirit itıs being offered.  Donıt buy the 
'Gunman...'.   Do yourself a big favor and go find one of these brilliant records 
like (in order ofrecommendation);

Jordan: The Comeback
Steve McQueen, or as it is known in the U.S., 'Two Wheels Good'.
swoon

'The Gunman...'  is not currently for sale in the U.S.  It is available in other 
parts of the world (hence the hefty import price I had to pay).

'The Gunman and Other Stories'
Prefab Sprout
2001
on Liberty Records distributed through EMI (in the U.K.) #32613

Alex's TV Stuff

A  letter from John Lennon to Paul McCartney will go up for auction in London in October.  
The letter, written by John to Paul and his wife, exposes the strains around the 1970 
break-up of the Fab Four.  Lennon talks about the way his wife was treated, his disdain 
for Linda McCartney and his affection for Paul.  
It's expected to fetch up to $112,000.

The monkeys got spanked this weekend!  Calm down, I am talking about the movie 
"Planet of the Apes".  "Rush Hour 2" zoomed through traffic to the 1st place with 
$66.8 million opening!  "Planet of the Apes" saw a 58% drop, and came in number 2 
with $28.5 million.  Rounding up the top 5 were "The Princess Diaries", "Jurassic Park III" 
and "American Sweethearts".  
On a personal note, I saw "Rush Hour 2", and really enjoyed it.  It is a great action 
movie as well as a great comedy.  This is one of the few sequels that really works, 
and might even be a bit better than the original.  

Introducing new section - Trivia.  
Facts about movies, TV shows, celebrities that you might not have known.  
Today's Trivia section is about the movie "Gone with the Wind". 

 ~Alex

Visit Alex's site at Alex's Place

Reader Comment

To Do or Not to Do

I had a struggle getting out of bed this morning, part of me wanted to get up up 
& take care of business, the other part wanted to stay in bed.--- I guess we 
could call these two parts Desire & Will.  We can think of Will & Desire as 
competitors in a long marathon, one that goes on for years. ~~~~~

All bets are on Desire, she has been training for many years, so she is in good 
shape, she crouches at the starting line like a leopard, lean, lithe, and powerful,
bursting with her desire to win. But for the most of us, the Will is still in bed. 
I say "most of us" without any blame, but this is the conditioning the world shares 
today, the attitude that pleasue is everthing, and the absence of pleasure is the 
worst of all fates. ~~~~~

Once we start questioning this attitude, a new desire comes; the desire to master 
our desires.  That is the signal that the race is about to begin. But first we have 
to wake up the Will, Willie! Willie!  Your presence is expected at a particular 
event.

Dont you hear the whistles blowing? "Go away," Will says.
He is as grumpy as a bear in hibernation. After all, it was we who lulled him to 
sleep; is it fair to roust him out of bed again after all these years.? 
Well,~~better late than never.

Most of my life I have been a procrastinator first-class, the things that had to 
be done, I would do only as a last resort, but those pleasureful things got my 
immediate attention. Will! wake up Will, the grass wont cut itself, you need to 
direct the mower. ah shit!

Now in my old age I have trouble remembering things, where I put my glasses or 
my slippers, trying to recall a phrase that was important in my writing, now if I 
only had a little patience, it would come to me in a flash, maybe, while taking 
out the trash.~~~ha!

"Patience is a virtue, Virtue is a Grace, Grace is a little girl who
wouldn't wash her face."~~~~~~~~~

                                         Regards

                                             ShadowCatcher

NEW!

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BartCop TV Is Here!

Check it out at BC TV

The 'Vidiot', has done an excellent job in putting it all together, and has even
more for you to read!


The Vidiot

Go check it out!

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Use your words to inform the rest of us.

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